She said that was a common theme she’d heard from Madilyn and Ruby— who is one of her best friends— as well. I didn’t tell her I was having similar feelings about Garrett, but somehow I felt she already knew.
I’ve also resigned myself to listening to Erin’s criticism of every man she comes into contact with, from the partners in the firm to the teenaged kid who delivers sandwiches from the deli down the street. If there is one thing I’ve learned about Erin, it’s that she has unreasonably high requirements when it comes to who she wants to date. And, no offense, but she isn’t exactly a perfect ten. A trip to the salon and some carefully applied makeup would help a lot, but still, it’s a good thing she has a lively personality.
Every time she complains about a guy, Claude pipes in with a comment along the lines of, “I will never understand straight people. If you don’t like the guy, don’t talk to the guy.” Or, “If you like the guy, just let the guy know!”
These two are so much fun together, and they make working here interesting. Well, that and the fact that I have a huge crush on my boss that I get to work with all the time.
I love how Erin knows everything that goes on in the firm. She’s like a law database and the neighborhood gossip rolled into one. I look forward to our daily routine, as it helps me to get the lay of the land.
After the first day, I began arriving an hour early every morning. This was partly because I thought Eric could help me with my training during my off time before Garrett showed up, and partly because on or about the third day, I realized she knew everything and wanted to share it all with me. Although she was friendly with everyone, she didn’t seem to have any close female friends in the firm, so I was drafted to fill the position of her BFF.
Also, I wasn’t loving this new city. While it’s true I had come from a small town with not a whole lot going on, Stone was my home. It was quaint, and I knew just about everyone, so weirdly enough, I was never bored.
Erin likes to listen to my stories about small town life. More accurately, she likes to ridicule my stories about small town life, but beggars can’t be choosers. She is someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of, and as time passed, we’ve learned to appreciate each other’s company.
In Albuquerque, my new home, while there is a ton to do compared to back home, I can’t help but feel lonely. I know no one, and I find myself constantly alone and bored. I’d dialed Martha a few times out of desperation. Being a military brat, she’d lived in New Mexico on one of the military bases when she was younger, and she’s insisted I go see the sites— Carlsbad Caverns, White Sands, Old Town Santa Fe— by myself or through joining a meetup, but it has just never felt right.
Maybe I wanted this to be temporary or maybe I just wanted an excuse to fail. Whatever the case, I’m often alone, which only makes me sad. My townhouse is near University of New Mexico hospital, and the sound of sirens at all times of the day and night outside my window make me realize things aren’t so bad. At least I’m not in the back of an ambulance with its lights flashing, suffering some horrible disease or accident. But that’s little consolation, to be thinking “at least not that.”
Maybe my fascination with Garrett just stems from boredom. Maybe I think he and I will get together when really it’s all in my head. But I have a feeling I’m about to find out.
Chapter 13 – Carolina
Despite the neck massaging and bitching about men, Erin and I have forged a nice little work relationship. She makes my cappuccino for me every morning, and I start to think her crooked teeth are cute.
Around the end of my first week, she told me that Garrett was facing some serious backlash from the other partners. Some of them were all really old and could barely walk, so at first, I just thought they were jealous. But apparently, not so much.
According to Erin, the all-knowing receptionist extraordinaire, Garrett had been warned many times to stop his behavior with female assistants in the office. Of course, I did sort of walk in on one apparent warning, so I was starting to put things together even without her explanation.
Erin said he was a serial womanizer. She told me the last temp agency paralegal, some well-endowed skirt named Selinda, had quit because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, or so she said.
I couldn’t decipher if Erin was just trying to keep me away from him, or if it was all a little bit overexaggerated. And she did admit that it seemed Selinda was as much into Garrett as Garett had been into Selinda, so her leaving the firm may have been due to sour grapes on her part. So initially, I tucked it away under “I need absolute proof” in my brain.
Soon enough though, she would be proven right. Not only was I resisting Garrett’s advances from about day two— although I was probably different than most of his office conquests since I wanted him more than I could ever admit— but he would come in late and hung over quite often.
Erin leaned in one morning and whispered to me, “Look, you should know that Garrett spends way too much money on women, drinks to excess, and forgets about his work. And they all know it. Especially that old curmudgeon, Arthur Friedmont. He points out constantly that Berg and his team over in Patent are creaming Garrett in Civil Litigation. I mean, I shouldn’t tell you this, but the only reason he’s not gone is because of his dad. So yeah, nepotism is alive and well. I mean, you really can’t repeat this but you should know since you are his exec ass.”
“His exec ass?”
“Executive assistant.”
“Oh.”
“So, you know, you may have to anticipate fires to put out is all I’m saying. He is performing the most poorly of any partners here. It’s sad, really. I mean, I like Garrett. He’s just in his own way. His emotional IQ must not be very high. And they think— the partners— it’s because he’s too much of a player. They have told him in no uncertain terms to stop chasing women as a national pastime.”
She rolled her eyes as if to indicate that was never going to happen.
“I did try to defend Garrett early on,” she continued. “I’m not afraid of him. Please! This place is peanuts compared to my old firm.”
Here, she shrugged, as if I’d worked a lot of firms myself and would know. But, I didn’t know. I was clueless and just starting to learn the ways of entitled law firm partners.
“Anyway,” she went on, “I told Artie that I knew many terrific lawyers from my last firm who had like three mistresses and not a loss at trial, not a misstep to be had. But he just grumbled something like, ‘Well, clearly they can think with both heads. Mr. Mack cannot.’”
As the words left Erin’s mouth, I started laughing so hard I snorted.
“Yeah, Friedmont is a grump. But just so you have the inside scoop, Garrett has been warned to either not date at all or at least not bring it to work—or settle down with just one woman, which he thinks is impossible.”
My ears pricked up. Immediately, I took note. I was determined to be the one. This was during my first week, and it became my secret goal. I would find a way to tame Garrett, the wild womanizer, without taming his scorching sexiness.
Of course, I still wanted to fuck him silly. I just didn’t intend to become another notch in his bedpost. Still, I would have to somehow remain professional at the same time. I wasn’t sure how, but I was once again feeling my own power.
And I sure am glad I have Erin around to help enlighten me. Every time she and I talk, I become more and more convinced that Garrett feels something for me the way that I do for him. Her stories become less and less about his past conquests and infamy for being a player, and more about how often he asks after me.
“He came looking for you when you were at lunch,” she’ll tell me. Or, “he wants you to go to his office as soon as you’re back.”
Each time, Claude would roll his eyes and say, “Straight people. Just get it on already.”
And I would think: that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
Chapter 14 – Carolina
These weeks proved wearing on both
Garrett and me. Even though I’d been well forewarned by Erin, I was somewhat surprised when it became obvious that Garrett is obsessed with me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a way to keep our relationship professional and not let his constant sexual innuendos and suggestive remarks affect me. He’s all I want, and I know that crossing the line will soon be inevitable.
The problem is, even though I want him in the worst way, I need to keep my job. The more I resist, though, the more he seems to persevere. One morning recently, we were working late on a very high-profile class action lawsuit. I had planned to go on my first date with a new guy that night— my first since moving to Albuquerque— but Garrett asked me to stay and type a memo, and typing one memo led to taking notes for a brief he wanted me to work on the following day. Before I knew it, hours had passed and my date was texting me to tell me to just forget it.
The week before, Garrett had come into my office with such a desperate tone, I couldn’t even respond. He had said, “Carolina, I respect you. I do. I respect that you want to keep the professional part of your life professional and keep your private life separate, but Carolina, I can’t fight it. I think about you all the time. I know you know that. I can’t get you out of my mind. And I know you feel it too. Why are you fighting me? Why are either of us fighting this? I need to hold you just once…”
As he turned to leave, I collapsed in my chair, and then he turned back and whispered as if it was the last thing he might ever say:
“Just once… Carolina, let me hold you, touch you, caress you the way you deserve. Just once. I promise I’ll never bother you again.”
Normally, I would have quit my job that very day. It was such a conflict, and quite frankly he was crossing the line simply by saying what he had said, but I thought about him morning, noon, and night.
He was right. I fantasize all the time about our first embrace. I fantasize about Garrett undressing me, caressing me, fucking me. So, he is right. However wrong it is, he is right. I am finding the resistance absolutely miserable.
Tonight, I’m at home, bored and lonely once again, wishing I could be with Garrett. I open my legs and let my fingers trail down to my pussy. I rub my clit while I think about letting Garrett undress me with his fingers the way he always does with his eyes.
I reach into a box of still unpacked items and pull out my nearly long-lost vibrator. I rub it around on the outside of my clit, wishing it was Garrett. I slip a finger into my hole as I let the vibrator hum along on my clit.
How I want his mouth on me. His fingers. His cock.
My hips writhe as I think about him picking me up and wrapping my legs around his cock, then burying it into me. He’ll fuck me while he grasps my ass, and I’ll love it.
I cum all over my finger and the vibrator, wishing I could come on Garrett. I have to do something to quench my thirst. I have to have him, it’s killing me.
Chapter 15– Carolina
The law firm has a large cafeteria where all employees can eat. Today, I’m eating here rather late, because I was working on dictation for Garrett over lunch, so that he would have it when he got back from his own lunch break. I’m the only person in the room. I’m daydreaming about Garrett, as usual, and how I had let myself come yesterday while thinking about him.
Suddenly, Madilyn, Ruby and Katie walk in. Just the people I’ve been wanting to see. I have some questions for them, for sure.
“Hi, Carolina!” Madilyn says, coming over to me. “Looks like you found out when the cool people like to eat. No one around to overhear or disrupt our crazy conversations.”
They all have brought lunch from home, whereas I always run to the local deli because I’m not as organized as they are.
“Hi,” I tell them, eager to have some friends.
“How has your pregnancy been going?” I ask Ruby, looking at her large baby bump. She has to be overdue by now. But I know nothing about pregnancy. For all I know, she’s only six months pregnant and has to endure torture for another three months.
“Great,” she says, with the glow of a happy pregnant woman. “It shouldn’t be long now. I’ve already put in for my maternity leave.”
“Thank goodness,” I say immediately on her behalf, glad that her stomach doesn’t have to stretch much bigger.
She gives me a confused look and I realize I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. Me and my big mouth.
“Thank goodness that the firm gives you good maternity leave,” I say, quickly correcting myself.
“Yes, that is good,” she agrees. “So how about you? Have you been liking working here?”
I smile and decide to tell them the truth, since all three of them are looking at me expectantly.
“I really do like working here,” I tell them. “I just think I’m still getting used to being in a new place. I’m far from home.”
“Garrett tells us you came all the way from South Carolina to work here,” Madilyn says. “That’s amazing.”
“The job market is pretty bad there,” I say, shrugging.
I don’t really want to get into the fact that I had no job history of which to speak. That I had based my plans on a man who had left me because I can’t get pregnant, and Garrett was the only one willing to hire me.
“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” Katie says, leaning across the table and winking at me. “And it looks like Garrett is as well.”
I blush, but none of them seem to be judging me. I suppose they couldn’t, given how their own relationships started.
“You know,” Madilyn says, as if reading my mind. “Asher told me that they gave Garrett a stern talking to, warning him away from being with you, and I really thought that was hypocritical. None of us would be married today had our guys listened to traditional rules about boss/ employee relationships.”
The other two girls nod their heads and I can’t help but get my hopes up.
“So, you don’t regret it?” I ask, all of them and none of them in particular. “You’re glad your relationship started the way it did?”
“Well, I sure am,” Ruby volunteers, her hand moving a strand of purple dyed hair out of her pretty eyes. “I think that when you know something is right, you just have to go for it.”
“We see the way he looks at you,” Katie continues. “It’s the same way Damien looked at me.”
“And Asher at me,” Madilyn agrees. “I know you moved far away, and have a lot to lose. I did too, being that this was my first job as an associate. So you do want to weigh the risks…”
“Katie told me not to sleep with Cameron,” Ruby says, bursting into a fit of laughter. “Do you remember that, Katie? Back when we used to hang out in the filing room because they never gave us anything important to do?”
“Those were the days,” Katie laughs. “Now I miss them. We’re so busy now, with this expansion, and all these trials! And yeah, I did tell you that. I’m sorry, since it ended up that you two were great together. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know,” Ruby says, patting her on the shoulder. “And I appreciate it. It’s wise advice.”
“So, what I gather that the three of you are saying,” I interrupt, “is to have fun, but not get too attached. Realize it doesn’t usually end up the way it did for you guys, and just go with it?”
“Exactly,” Madilyn says, with a smile.
“Even though, you never know what will happen at Sugar Daddy Central,” Katie says, and laughs.
“Thanks, guys,” I say, standing up. “On that note, I’ve got to get some work back to Garrett.”
“Have fun!” Ruby calls out, as they begin eating their lunch.
I think I can do it. I’m no innocent virgin, who wears her heart on her sleeve. I can be an adult and have some harmless fun with my boss, and know that it doesn’t mean anything more than that.
I can get involved with my body, but not with my heart.
Can’t I?
I guess I’m about to find out.
Chapter 1
6 – Carolina
I have to remind myself all day that Madilyn, Ruby and Katie say it’s okay to follow my heart— or at least my libido. So, once evening is upon the firm and most people have gone home, I hurry to fire off the memo and take the notes for the brief Garrett had assigned me, until I know that we’re the only two people left in the place.
I’m so nervous, even though I’m sure this is what I want. I type up the notes for Garrett to go over, and just as I finish, I get another text from my very pissed off date from the other night.
Are you ever going to get with me? It says.
I delete the text and the guy’s number. He’s pathetic and he should understand the busy life of an “exec ass,” as Erin calls it. I toss my phone into my purse. His loss.
I walk over to Garrett’s office and tap lightly on the door. He doesn’t answer, and I tap again. Nothing.
I figure I’ll put it on his desk while he’s stepped away and then I’ll have no choice but to head home. I’ve warded off all possible dates for the small chance that I might get to sleep with my boss. I feel dumb now, but it was my own choice, and I didn’t like any of those dates anyway.
At least I have time to grab something to eat before heading home. I hadn’t eaten much over lunch because I was so busy talking with Madilyn, Katie and Ruby, and so excited about whatever the rest of the day held with Garrett— which apparently was nothing.
I open the door, and as I walk into Garrett’s office, he pulls me into his arms. I can’t breathe, the feeling of him holding me is so intense. He smells like office furniture— although that could be his office— and some kind of wood with a smell of alcohol— he might have just cleaned his oak furniture, for some reason—and there’s also a hint of Ranch dressing mixed into the scent— he must have had that for lunch.
Knock Me Up, Boss: A Bad Boy Office Romance Page 6