by Carol Rivers
‘Yes, I know.’ Using the last of the clean rags that were left, she washed and cleaned Vesta. Then folding a strip of it in two, she placed it inside her knickers.
‘Come along into the other room.’ She helped Vesta to the chair.
Vesta flopped down. Holding her stomach, she fell asleep.
Marie went back and fetched the pail. She couldn’t look at the contents. She carried it downstairs and out into the yard. When she opened the makeshift wooden door of the lavatory, she retched. The smell was overpowering. Making herself go in, she tipped the contents of the pail into the lavatory bowl.
As she went back upstairs, the tears flowed. How could this be happening to them? Taking the pail to the scullery, she did her best to clean the table. When the last rag had been used, she rolled the soiled cloths and towels in some newspaper the woman had left.
‘I should have stopped it, somehow,’ she whispered to herself as she washed her hands under the rusty tap. But nothing would wash away the memory of the blood on Vesta and her stifled cries as her poor body was ripped apart.
Her twin was still sleeping, but it didn’t seem to be a natural sleep. Her cheeks were a fiery red. Her skin was burning. Opening her purse, Marie took out a pound note. Seconds later she was flying down the stairs again. She saw the boy sitting outside on the pavement.
He jumped up. ‘Keep away, missus. I don’t want nuffink to do wiv yer!’
‘I’ve got an errand for you. I’ll give you this pound if you’ll bring my husband here.’ She held the note out. ‘His name is Bing Brown and he’s a crane driver in the docks.’ She gave him the address.
The boy grabbed the money, looking slyly at her as she told him where to find Bing. ‘Please ask him to come with the car. I’ll give you another pound when you get back.’
He looked under his cap. ‘Yer gonna call the law?’
‘No. I just want to go home.’
‘And yer got another quid?’
‘Yes.’
Without a word more, the boy scooted off. Marie climbed back up the stairs with a heavy heart. Would he get Bing? Or would he run off, never to be seen again? It was a chance she had to take.
Vesta tossed and turned in the chair. Marie bathed her hot forehead. She whispered they would soon be home, not really knowing if it was true.
Chapter 38
Vesta was mumbling and hot. The skin around her eyes was puffy as she rolled her head from side to side. Was it the drug she had been given that was making her delirious? Every now and then, she would cry out and hold her stomach.
Marie didn’t know how long they had been there. The smell from the lavatories was getting worse in the heat of the day. The building was full of the screams of babies and shouts of children playing in the tumbledown back yards. When would Bing come? What if the boy had run off?
‘Marie?’ Vesta whispered through her dry lips. ‘Is my baby gone?’
‘Yes.’
‘I have to catch the train.’
‘You can’t do that now. We gave the woman all our money.’
‘What’s going to happen to me now?’
‘I’ve sent for Bing. He’ll help us.’
Tears rolled down Vesta’s cheeks until at last she fell asleep again. Marie was frightened that the landlord would appear. She knew what had been done today was against the law. Time ticked by slowly. If only Bing would come.
When there were steps on the staircase, she felt fear and hope. Fear that it would be the landlord, hope that it would be Bing. Her heart pounded a hole in her chest as the footsteps seemed to take for ever.
At last a figure appeared. It was Bing. His face fell when he saw them. Wiping the grease from his eyes, he stared at them. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Bing, Vesta’s ill.’
‘I can see that.’ He walked slowly over the rotten boards. ‘What’s wrong with her? Why are you here?’
Marie knew that she had to tell him the truth. ‘Vesta was in the family way.’
‘What?’
‘Teddy made her see this woman who said she was a nurse and would get rid of it. But it all went wrong.’
‘You mean it was done here?’ He looked around in disbelief.
‘Yes.’
‘Christ Almighty!’ Bing rolled his eyes. ‘And you went along with all this?’
Marie was close to tears. ‘I was worried Vesta might do something silly if I didn’t help her.’
‘She did something silly anyway. Do you know how much trouble this could get you both in?’
Marie dropped her head as he raked his fingers angrily through his hair.
Vesta began to moan and Bing hurried over. He kneeled beside her, his face concerned. ‘She’s in bad shape, Marie. Reckon she needs a doctor.’ He rubbed his chin and frowned. ‘I’ve got the car outside and we’ll take her back to Ada.’
‘Can’t she come home with us?’
Bing shook his head slowly. ‘For once, Marie, I ain’t going along with what you want. Like it or not, she should be with Ada and Hector.’ He took Vesta’s hot hand and gave her a little shake. ‘Vesta, it’s me, Bing.’
Vesta opened her swollen eyes.
‘I’ve come to get you out of here, gel, and take you home.’
‘I don’t want Mum to know,’ Vesta whispered.
‘It’s either that or the hospital. And if I take you there, they’re gonna know what’s been done to you.’
Suddenly there was a noise behind them. ‘Where’s me quid?’ called the boy from the half-landing.
Bing stood up and went out. He grabbed the boy’s collar. ‘You’ll get your money, lad, but first I’d like to know who this place belongs to.’
‘Dunno, it ain’t none of me business.’
‘You made it your business when you took my missus’s pound. Now, who runs this dump?’
‘An old geezer,’ the boy snarled. ‘Fings ’appen ’ere. Rotten fings. You’d better ask ’im if yer that nosy!’
‘So this room is used for skulduggery, eh?’
‘I ain’t sayin’ no more. Now, leave orf.’
But Bing pulled him close. ‘Listen, you ain’t seen me or these two ladies today. You wouldn’t know us from Adam if you met us again and that visit you paid me in the docks and ride in me car never happened. Right?’
‘If you say so, mister.’
Bing let him go. ‘This is your pay, son, and be thankful for it.’ He held out a few coins.
‘That ain’t a quid!’ the boy exclaimed. ‘She said she had another pound ter give me.’
‘Take it or leave it,’ growled Bing. ‘Now ’oppit.’
Scowling, the boy grabbed the coins and ran off.
Bing looked at Marie, his face set hard. ‘Let’s get out of here. Make certain nothing’s left behind.’
Bing wrapped his arms around Vesta and lifted her from the chair. Half carrying her, he helped her to the landing and began slowly to go down the stairs. Marie took the rags wrapped in newspaper. She looked round. There was nothing left to say what had happened; it was only in her mind that the vision remained of the pail and its terrible contents. Marie knew it was something that she would never forget, no matter how hard she tried. This terrible room, that woman who called herself Nurse Jones, the screams of the children on the hot, stinking day – all would stay in her mind for ever.
With Vesta curled on the back seat of the car, a blanket over her, Marie told Bing all that she knew. About the life her twin had led with Teddy, the wealthy man she had been forced to sleep with, the beatings she’d taken from Teddy and the day at the Blue Flamingo when Vesta had found the letters and photograph in the drawer.
‘There was a gun too,’ Marie added, ‘and Teddy threatened to use it if she didn’t do as he said.’
Bing’s face was white under the dirt from the docks. His old clothes and boots still reeked of the oil and tar he worked amongst.
‘She was planning to run away to Liverpool,’ Marie added. ‘to get a passage on a ship.’
Bing shook his head. ‘It costs to do that.’
‘We had twenty pounds in the Post Office. It was our pay from the club. Mum never wanted it, and I made Vesta save it for a rainy day.’
Bing turned briefly. ‘Looks like the day came.’
‘Yes, but that woman demanded it before she agreed to—’ Marie stopped. She felt sick at the thought. ‘Even if everything had gone all right, there wouldn’t have been any left to go away with.’
‘Why did you help her, Marie?’
‘Because she said she’d kill herself if I didn’t.’
He gave a long sigh. ‘Vesta wouldn’t have done that.’ He glanced quickly over his shoulder. ‘Not on purpose, anyway. As it is, I reckon she ain’t gonna come out of this very easy.’
‘Don’t say that. She will get better, won’t she?’
‘Only the doctor will know.’ He frowned at the road ahead and Marie fell silent. She listened to Vesta’s soft moans as she lay on the back seat and felt unable to believe what had happened today.
When Ada opened the door she gasped at the sight of Vesta’s thin body as Bing held her against him. She put her hand over her mouth.
‘Mum, Vesta’s not well, Marie told her.’
Hector appeared with a newspaper in his hands. He dropped it when he saw Vesta and reached out to help Bing carry her inside.
‘Bring her to the bedroom,’ Ada said, hurrying before them.
Marie looked around their bedroom. It was just as it always was: the big wardrobe and chest of drawers, their records and gramophone on top of it. The big double bed still had the same cover and Ada quickly pulled it back. Bing and Hector lowered her.
‘What was it, an accident or is she ill?’ Ada asked, and then she saw Vesta’s bloody dress. Again her hand went to her mouth. A little sob escaped.
‘I’ll tell you as we undress her,’ Marie said.
‘We’ll wait in the front room,’ said Bing, taking Hector’s arm.
When the men had gone and the door was closed, Marie went to her mother. ‘Mum, Vesta was going to have a baby.’
Ada’s face went ashen. ‘Oh, my poor girl!’
‘Teddy didn’t want her to have it and made her go to a woman who said she was a nurse and would take it away.’
For a moment Ada swayed. She steadied herself on the bedpost. ‘You mean, she’s lost the baby?’
‘Yes.’ Marie gently drew up Vesta’s skirt and Ada saw her stained underwear.
‘Oh, Vesta, what’s been done to you?’
‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ whispered Vesta, her voice so soft they could hardly hear her. ‘I didn’t want you or Dad to find out.’
Ada clutched hold of Vesta’s cold hand. ‘I wish you had come to us. It don’t matter what you’ve done, we love you and could have worked something out.’
Vesta sobs were smothered as Ada bent and held her close.
At last Ada stood up. Pressing her hand on Vesta’s hot forehead, she turned to Marie. ‘We must call Dr Tapper. He brought you two into the world and will know what to do.’
‘Bing will fetch him.’
Ada took out her hanky and blew her nose. Pulling back her shoulders, she looked down at Vesta. ‘Don’t worry, you’re home now, love. We’ll soon have you right.’ She began to unbutton Vesta’s dress and Marie helped her, replacing Vesta’s clothes and underwear with a nightdress and clean knickers. But, as she was still losing blood, these had to be padded out with rags. When all was done that could be done, Marie went out to Bing and gave him the address of the doctor.
‘What’s happened?’ Hector asked after Bing had left.
‘Vesta was going to have a baby.’
He drew in a shaky breath. ‘A baby?’
‘Yes, but she lost it.’
Hector sat down heavily. He rubbed his hands over his face. ‘How can this have happened?’ He looked bewildered. ‘Was it Teddy’s child?’
Marie couldn’t tell him, as she didn’t know. Before she could speak again, Hector shook his head gloomily.
‘It’s all my fault. All this has happened because of me.’
Marie put her arms around him. ‘Dad, if Vesta hadn’t gone with Teddy,’ she reasoned, ‘none of this would have happened.’
But Hector made no reply. His eyes were very far away. A haunted expression filled them.
Marie sat with Bing as Hector paced the room. Once again the minutes ticked slowly by as Dr Tapper examined Vesta.
When Ada and the doctor appeared, they jumped to their feet. Dr Tapper, dressed in black, with a grey beard and only a little white hair left on his head, lowered his bag to the table. Despite his age he was still called on in times of trouble.
‘Vesta has an infection,’ he told them. ‘Pus has formed inside her womb and is leaking from her abdomen. This infection is caused by the monstrous procedure performed on her and she has suffered internal damage.’
‘Will she be all right?’ asked Marie anxiously.
‘I’ll do all I can to see that she is.’ He looked sternly at them all. ‘I hope you realize what was done was against the law.’
Marie saw Hector sink down to the couch. He buried his face in his hands.
‘I’m sorry,’ the doctor said more gently. ‘But there is no easy way to say this. She won’t be able to bear a child again.’
Ada sobbed quietly and Hector’s eyes filled with tears.
‘I’ve done all I can for today, but the wound will need to be kept clean, Ada, until the bleeding stops.’
‘I’ll see to that,’ Ada nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
‘When the infection clears she’ll start to improve. My professional opinion is that she should be in hospital. But of course . . . there are other things to be considered.’ He pleated his grey eyebrows. ‘The police should be informed.’
‘No,’ said Ada immediately. ‘I don’t want them coming round here to question me daughter.’
‘Very well.’ Dr Tapper put on his black hat. ‘I’ll call by again tomorrow.’
As Ada saw the doctor out, Marie looked at Bing. She knew that he had been right to bring Vesta back here. Vesta now had to regain her strength and recover from the infection. But to never be able to have children again! Even when she was well, Vesta would have to live with the consequences of the terrible thing that had been done to her.
In bed that night, Bing held Marie close. ‘If only I hadn’t let her do it,’ she said sadly. ‘When I threw away those rags with her blood on, I knew it had been very wrong to go there.’
‘No use fretting now,’ Bing whispered beside her. ‘She said she was going to kill herself and you believed her.’
‘I thought she might throw herself in the river.’
‘Vesta was always one for dramatics.’
Marie put her arms round him tightly. But her mind kept playing over the events of the day. ‘If only she’d decided to leave Teddy sooner.’
‘Does your Mum know the whole story?’
‘Yes, I told her.’
‘What did she say?’
‘Only that Vesta was innocent.’
‘Yes, but she jumped into bed with another bloke too,’ Bing was quick to remind her.
Marie closed her eyes at the thought. ‘They gave her drink. She didn’t know what she was doing.’
‘There will always be an excuse for Vesta. But remember, she did what she did because she wanted to.’
‘What will she do if she can’t have children?’
‘Come on now, stop worrying. At least the old doc won’t report this to the law. Though I’d like to see that backstreet butcher get her comeuppance.’
‘I don’t want to think about it.’
Tenderly he kissed her. ‘Vesta’s in the best place now. Your mum and dad will look after her.’
‘I would never have got her home without you.’
‘I had the fright of me life when that kid turned up at the docks and said my missus was in trouble.’
Marie had f
elt sorry for the boy, living in a place like that. ‘I thought he might have run off with my pound.’
‘Let’s hope he keeps his mouth shut.’
‘You don’t think he’ll tell the police, do you?’
‘No, that sort don’t like the coppers, and, as usual, the landlord will get away scot-free.’
Marie heard the anger in his voice. It was dark and she could see only the outline of his face. There were deep hollows of black where his lovely eyes were. She snuggled close. ‘I love you.’ Men seemed to see things so clearly. Life to them was always a yes or a no. But for a woman there was always the in-between.
‘And I love you. But now I want you to keep out of trouble. And no more telling fibs on Vesta’s behalf.’
‘I promise.’
He ran his hands over her body. She knew he wanted to make love to her, but instead he said softly, ‘Go to sleep now. It’s Saturday tomorrow and we’re up early for work.’
But Marie didn’t want to go to the factory. She wanted to be with Vesta instead. One more morning off work wouldn’t harm. On Monday she could tell Mr Morton that she had stayed with her relatives. But that was yet another lie.
She had promised her husband there would be no more lies. And, as his wife, it was a promise she had to keep.
Every evening, after work, Marie went to see Vesta. Things had changed at home. Ada had given up her job to look after Vesta, and Hector was busking again.
‘Your father has to bring in the money,’ Ada said when Marie called on Friday. ‘Vesta has to be cared for.’
‘Soon I’ll be able to help out,’ Marie told her. ‘Mr Morton is giving me a rise.’
But Ada shook her head. ‘I won’t hear of it, love. As soon as we’re on our feet again, I won’t take a penny from you.’ Ada lowered her voice as she stood close to Marie in the kitchen. ‘Come and see if you can cheer up your sister. She’s down in the dumps.’
‘Has the bleeding stopped yet?’
‘Yes, but –’ Ada lowered her voice. ‘She’s got no control on her waterworks. Dr Tapper says it’s the infection.’
‘Can’t he give her something to help?’
‘He’s done what he can.’
When they walked into the bedroom, Marie’s heart sank. Vesta couldn’t even sit up. Her lank hair hung over the pillows and big shadows were under her eyes. ‘I can’t stop wetting meself,’ she complained when Marie asked how she was. ‘Mum has to keep washing my drawers.’ She reached under the sheet. ‘And now I’ve got another wet pair.’