by Erin Osborne
I love you a million times over. Until I take my last breath, I’ll love you.
Love Always,
Playboy
Setting the pad and pen next to me, I slump back against the wall and let my thoughts tumble free. All thoughts regarding Sam and Caleb. They’re always on my mind and I know they’ll never be out of my head. Even when I’m dead and buried in the ground, Sam and Caleb will be protected and watched over by me.
“Dinner,” one of the guards says as they pass my cell.
Getting up, I head out to join the line of inmates and make my way to the mess hall. Just before we get there, one of the other inmates brushes up against my side and I feel a stinging sensation. Looking down, I see blood seeping through my shirt. What the actual fuck?
“You okay, Busch?” the guard asks me.
“No, I’m not,” I reply, lifting my shirt.
“Infirmary. Now,” the guard tells me. “The rest of you, figure out who the hell is responsible for this.”
The guard leads me to the infirmary and leaves me once the nurse on staff begins taking care of me. She cleans the wound in my side and checks to determine if I’ll need stitches or not. After examining it, she decides I don’t need stitches and just puts a few butterfly stitches on it.
“You should be good to go. Just make sure you keep it clean. Come back and see me if you need anything,” the nurse says to me.
“Excuse me?” I ask.
“What?” she questions, trying to feign innocence.
“You don’t have anythin’ I want. I have a woman and you’re not her. I suggest you worry about doin’ your damn job and not about fuckin’ an inmate,” I growl out.
She looks away from me as another inmate begins laughing his ass off.
“You’re not the first one she’s used that line on. And you won’t be the last. She’ll take any cock she can get,” the inmate tells me.
“Not mine. Not cheatin’ on my ol’ lady,” I respond.
Getting up, I leave the infirmary and find the guard waiting outside the room for me. He lifts an eyebrow in question at me and I shake my head.
“Might want to keep an eye on that nurse though. Likes inmate cock,” I tell him.
“Will do,” he says.
“Only sayin’ somethin’ cause I’ve heard the stories of bitches gettin’ in over their head and windin’ up dead or tryin’ to help an ass escape,” I say, not wanting anyone to think I’m a fucking rat because I’m not.
He walks me to the mess hall and I grab the shit they pass off as food. Once I sit down at a table alone, I eat my meal so I can get back to my cell. No one comes close to me and no one tries to talk to me.
The second I’m done eating, I stand up and take care of my trash. On the way back to my cell, I ask the guard if they caught who got me. He shakes his head and I head into my cell so I don’t say or do anything I’ll end up regretting.
I lay down and let images of my family consume me. Especially of the night Sam and I spent together. I can’t get that night out of my head and I want to repeat it. There’s not a single time I’ll ever not want to be with Sam. She’s perfectly imperfect, which makes her perfect for me.
Chapter Ten
Sam
I’VE BEEN IN Torrino for a week now. I’m settling in at the truck stop nicely and Caleb absolutely loves Edna. They play, watch movies, and he helps her make dinner. When I get home and Caleb and I wake up the next morning, he goes on and on about what they did the night before. It’s the most he’s ever talked before and I’m loving the change in him.
Today, Edna and I both have off from the truck stop. It works out amazing because I have a doctor’s appointment. Caleb doesn’t need to go to that because I’m not sure what they’re going to do. Plus, I doubt he’ll be able to sit down while we’re in the exam room and behave while I’m being examined.
It’s actually my first day off from the truck stop since I started a week ago. Carson made me take the day off because I’ve been covering other people’s shifts and picking up shifts when we’re busy. I stay late if we’re busy and the waitresses taking over need help. Carson doesn’t care unless it gets to the point it affects your health or something. He pays us for all the overtime too.
“So, is this your first appointment?” Edna asks when she gets to the house.
“Yeah. I found out just before I moved here,” I reply.
“How’s your morning sickness?” she asks.
“It hasn’t been too bad,” I tell her, but that can all change. “I was the same way with Caleb. It didn’t hit until I was about four months pregnant or so.”
“How far along are you?” she asks.
“I’m not sure. Things have been kind of crazy,” I answer honestly.
“Well, you head out and we’ll be here when you get back,” Edna says, shooing me out of the house.
“I’m going,” I respond.
Leaving the house, I get in my car and make my way to the doctor’s office. The one good thing about Torrino is everything is close by. It doesn’t take long to get anywhere in town and I’m thankful for it. Other than being tired, I haven’t been feeling too bad.
My thoughts drift to work. I’ve been taking every shift I can take because I need the money and it keeps me busy. There’s not much I can do at the house because I can’t paint and I can’t replace the carpets alone. I don’t have the money for someone to come in to replace them for me.
Carson doesn’t care about what I do to the house. As far as he’s concerned, any repairs I do will be bettering the place. So, he’s approved everything and will take the money off the rent. About the only thing I’ve done so far is patch the hole in the wall by the laundry room. And it looks horrible because I can’t paint over it.
Which is what’s on my mind because a few of the women are coming down today. I broke down and called Gwen a few days ago. She told me everyone is worried about me and wants to make sure I’m okay. Since I’m not showing yet, I decided they could come down. The house isn’t going to be what any of them are used to, but there’s nothing I can do with it.
The women will just have to accept this is my life and I’ll make an excuse as to why I haven’t been able to make repairs or paint like I should. No one will know I’m pregnant when they leave here. I can’t let it happen. They’ll tell the guys in the club who will tell Playboy. That’s not how he’s going to find out.
If I’ve learned anything being around the Phantom Bastards or the Wild Kings, it’s that the men gossip in those clubs worse than any female I know. They’ll run to Playboy in jail and tell him about the baby the first chance they get. I’ll be the one to tell him about the baby and that’s the final decision.
Pulling into the parking lot, I park as close to the building as I can. I get out and lock my car before heading inside. On the way, I pull out my license and insurance card. I know I’m going to be flagged by Fox if he’s tracking me and I can’t do anything about it. There’s no money to pay for the appointment, but the women already know so I don’t have to worry about him tracking my location anymore.
“Can I help you?” the receptionist asks.
“Yes, Sam Hart with a ten o’clock appointment,” I answer, handing over my things.
She scans my license and insurance card before handing me a stack of papers to fill out. I take a seat next to the door I’m guessing leads back to the exam rooms. Taking the paperwork, I begin to fill it out with all of my information. I’m not exactly sure about all of Playboy’s so those sections are left blank. It kills me that he’s not here with me for this appointment. That we can’t share in this excitement together. Hell, I’m not even sure if he’d be happy about the baby.
I get called back and the nurse takes my weight and vitals before sending me in to leave a specimen for them to test. The same thing I remember doing when I was pregnant with Caleb.
“What brings you in today?” she asks when we get in the exam room.
“Before I moved here, I
took a home pregnancy test and it came up positive,” I answer honestly.
“Okay. Doctor Manning will be in shortly to see you. I’m not sure what she’ll want to do today, possibly an ultrasound,” the nurse tells me.
“Thank you.”
Once she leaves the room, I get undressed and put on the uncomfortable paper gown and sit down on the exam table. I place the sheet over my lap for a sense of modesty and wait for the doctor to come in and see me.
This is the part I hate, waiting. I’d rather be doing something than sitting still and waiting for someone to come in and see me. Instead, I’m sitting here, almost completely naked, waiting on a doctor I don’t know. But, doctors are busy and I know waiting is a part of the process. So, I suck it up and get as comfortable as I can.
It’s not long before Doctor Manning comes in. She’s a woman who appears to be in her early forties and greets me with a smile.
“Hello Sam, I’m Doctor Manning. It’s nice to meet you,” she tells me. “Looking over your results, you’re definitely pregnant. When was your last period?”
“I’m honestly not sure. I’ve never been regular and sometimes go months without having one,” I tell her. “It’s how I’ve always been.”
“Okay. Well, we’ll do an ultrasound today. I’ll have her start with an external one and see what it shows,” the doctor tells me.
I nod my head as the doctor does her exam of me. This is definitely something I could do without, but it’s part of being pregnant and being a woman. As soon as she’s done, she lets me get dressed while I wait for the ultrasound technician to come in.
She comes in just after I get dressed and I pull my shirt up and my pants down. The technician puts the gel on my stomach and turns the machine on so we can see the baby. Once everything is ready to go, I relax back and wait to see what’s about to happen.
All of a sudden, I hear the whooshing sound of the baby’s heartbeat. A smile fills my face and I close my eyes to take in the sound. At the same time, a tear slips free because Playboy is missing this. He’s not here to listen to the sound of our child nestled protectively in me.
“Ready to see your baby?” she asks me.
“I am,” I respond.
Turning my head, I look at the screen and wait for the image to become unblurry. When it comes into focus, the technician and I are both flabbergasted. Instead of one baby on the screen, there are two.
“Well, it appears you’ll be having twins, Miss Hart. Do they run on either side of the family?” the technician asks.
“Not in mine. I’m not sure about the father’s family,” I tell her.
“Alright. Well, regardless, you’re having twins,” she tells me, a smile on her face as she looks in my direction.
I keep my eyes glued to the screen as she takes measurements and does whatever else she has to do. At the end, she prints me out a few pictures and labels them ‘Baby A’ and ‘Baby B.’ With them in my possession, I wipe the gel off my stomach while she cleans up her equipment.
“You’re going to make an appointment for a month from now. You’ll have another ultrasound and the doctor will check you over. You’re approximately four months pregnant based on the looks of things,” the technician tells me before leaving the room.
I’ve been back home for a while now. Edna stayed for lunch and then went off to enjoy her day off. Caleb and I cleaned the house up the best we could and I tried to hide most of the damaged area, not that they look much better now. He’s excited the girls are coming for a visit and made sure his room was especially clean for them to see.
Now, I’m just waiting and thinking. I can’t believe I’m having twins or that I’m four months pregnant. It seems like a lifetime ago that Playboy and I shared a night together. Usually, if he stays the night with me, we sleep and that’s it. One night is all it took for his supersonic sperm to not only get me pregnant but have me pregnant with twins. This is an entirely new ballgame for me. I have no clue what to do with twins.
Hearing a car pull up, I quickly stuff the ultrasound pictures in my purse and take it to my room. On my way back to the front door, I double-check everything and make sure there’s nothing out of place. It’s not like we have many possessions to our name anyway. Most everything in our small home belongs to Carson and I’m thankful we have it.
Caleb runs past me and stops at the door. He looks back at me and I nod my head for him to open the door. My son unlocks it and flings it open before beaming up at Gwen, Shy, Jennifer, and Kim.
“Hey girls,” Caleb says, letting them in the house.
The four women look around the house and I can almost see the disgust on their faces. Well, all except for Gwen. She stares at me and I swear the girl is looking straight into my soul. It’s unnerving and a little scary because she’d be the one out of the women currently standing in my house to figure out the secret before Playboy knows what’s going on.
“How have you guys been?” I ask, placing my hand on Caleb’s shoulder as he stands in front of me.
“Worried about you,” Shy says, not holding back her anger or sadness.
“Look, it’s nothing personal. This is the best thing for Caleb and I right now. We need a change of scenery and to live our life without the thought of . . . well, you know,” I say, not wanting to mention Playboy’s name in front of him.
“He’s pissed as hell and worried about you. We all know something is going on. Why aren’t you talking to us about it?” Kim asks another one to never hold back what she’s feeling.
“Because I can’t. Look, Caleb and I are okay. No one’s after us, we just need a break. Playboy doesn’t want to see me or have anything to do with us. So, I’m trying to live my life without him,” I say, tears forming in my eyes.
“What about us? We’re your family too,” Gwen says, tears pooling in her own eyes.
“You’re right, you are. But, I don’t want you to choose between Playboy and me. And it seems as if I’m the only one he doesn’t want to see. So, for now, I need time and space away from all the reminders of him,” I respond, heading to the small kitchen. “At least this way, he can come home and not have to worry about him telling me he loved me or anything else.”
“What are you talking about?” Shy asks me.
“Right before they handcuffed him, he told me he loves me. Yet, he won’t see, won’t call me, and he sends my letters back unopened. That’s not love,” I reply, letting my anger out slightly. “This is his way of brushing me off. So when he finally gets out and comes home, he doesn’t have to worry about me being there and expecting anything from him.”
“You’re dumber than I thought,” Kim suddenly blurts out.
“I’m not dumb. I’m just not going to stay where I’m not wanted. And, there’s other factors which helped me make my decision. Look, I have a job here, Caleb and I are okay. I’ve got a friend who helps me with him while I’m working, and everything is super close by. Caleb and I will be fine here. Please, let me have this,” I plead with them, looking at each one in turn.
Shy finally nods her head and lets the subject drop. I know they’re going to let the guys know what’s going on here, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m given a quick break when Caleb speaks up and offers to show them around the house. Gwen looks at me because they all know he barely speaks, so this is a rare occurrence for him. One they all love.
While Caleb shows them around the house, I pull out drinks for everyone and a few snacks. We sit at the table and talk. I’m told stories of the kids and the trouble they’re causing around the clubhouse. Rayven is the spoiled club Princess and everyone takes her from Slim and Shy as soon as she shows up. But, all the kids are feeling the loss of Uncle Playboy being there. He’s got a way about him with the kids. He has no problem getting down and playing with them or making sure they have the good snacks their parents don’t normally let them have.
“Are you really okay here?” Shy asks as I let my thoughts wander to all the things Playboy used to
do with the kids.
“Yeah. Just got lost in thought for a minute there,” I respond, forcing a smile on my face as I look up.
“Mama, I’m gonna play,” Caleb says, tired of us talking already.
“Okay, baby boy. I’m here if you need me,” I tell him.
“What are you hiding from us?” Shy asks once he’s gone.
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying. It’s bad enough Playboy wanted Gwen to visit with you alone because even he knows something is going on. He also knows she’s the only one you’ll tell,” Shy says.
“Look, things are going on, but I can’t talk about them right now. When I can talk about them, you’ll all be the first to know,” I respond, looking at each woman around the table.
“Why don’t you just tell us now, so you don’t have to live like this,” Kim says.
“Guys, leave her alone. She has her reasons and let her do what she feels is best right now,” Gwen says, standing up for me.
“We just care about you, Sam. If something is going on, we want to know so we can help you with it,” Shy says.
“I know you guys do and I love you for it. But, you’ll understand why when I can finally let you all in on what’s going on. Trust me, I would if I could,” I say.
“Fine. We’ll drop it for now. We’re not going to let you put us off forever, though,” Kim tells me.
The rest of the day, we talk, laugh, and make dinner together. I’m grateful I went grocery shopping and they don’t have anything else bad to say about where I’m living when they get back to the clubhouse.
All in all, the day is amazing and I truly miss the women of the club. I miss the men too, but I can’t be there right now. It’s bad enough I know what I’ve said today is going to get back to Playboy and that’s the last thing I need right now. Oh well, too late for things to change now. I’ll have to see how it plays out.