An elderly lady was sitting in a rocking chair at the fireside and she rose to greet us as we came in.
‘You’re early, Joshua,’ she said as Josh bent to kiss her cheek. ‘I wasn’t expecting you for another half-hour at least.’
‘We came back in the chopper; the traffic in town was horrendous. Mum, this is Lydia, she’s a journalist. You mustn’t tell her any embarrassing secrets or they’ll be all over the Internet tomorrow.’
The old lady smiled indulgently and turned to me. ‘Pleased to meet you, Lydia. You must excuse my son, he’s quite mad. I don’t suppose he even told you where he was taking you. No? I thought not.’ She took my coat as she carried on talking. ‘I didn’t even get a phone call. Just a text message.’ She pulled a Blackberry out of her pocket and looked at the screen, then handed it to me to read the message.
‘Coming home and bringing a guest. Apple Crumble? Love you, Josh xx’
I had to laugh. I’d never expected my rock god to be living with his mother.
‘I hope you’re not in a hurry; the crumble won’t be ready for half an hour,’ Mrs Greenwood continued. ‘There’s fresh coffee in your den, unless you’d rather have it in here?’
‘We’ll go to the den. We have to finish this interview.’
Josh led me upstairs to the den. It was a large room that seemed to double as a sitting room and a studio. I sat on an enormous leather sofa and Josh perched beside me.
I took out my script and switched the recorder on to resume the interview. Josh sat back and let me go through the rest of my questions. His answers were relaxed and often amusing. At last I stopped recording.
‘Thank you so much,’ I said. ‘I’ll write this up and email it to Angela for your approval before we post it on the website.’
He smiled. ‘That’s cool. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just don’t mention the house and especially don’t mention my mother. She’s the best-kept secret I have and I want it to stay that way.’
‘I have to ask … if you feel like that, why did you bring me here and let me meet her?’ I was genuinely perplexed.
‘Well, you’re not exactly the paparazzi,’ he said, laughing. ‘In fact, you’re not really a journo at all, are you?’
I couldn’t lie; it was clear he’d seen straight through me and I wasn’t going to be able to wriggle out of it. My face felt hot and I hung my head in embarrassment.
‘I’m sorry …’ I began.
‘No harm done. I’ve kind of enjoyed it, but why go to all this trouble? It was a pretty elaborate pretence.’ He was smiling and I had nothing left to lose, so I blurted out the tale of my list and my attempts to fulfil my dreams.
‘But nothing’s worked out right for me, so I guess it’s time to call it day,’ I concluded. He was quiet for a moment, and then he laughed.
‘I’d say you’ve done pretty well, so far. Two out of three isn’t bad. You had your first flight today and I guess you could call this a date.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I reckon dessert should be ready by now.’ He stood up and led me back down to the kitchen where his mum’s apple crumble was waiting for us.
* * * * *
Back at home I started to write up the interview for Luvsik Memories. There were messages on my mobile and on the landline from Des, but I still wasn’t ready to talk to him. I wondered if I ever would be. I gave up after a while and wandered into the kitchen in search of comfort food. I found a bar of chocolate that I’d forgotten about and crammed a huge chunk into my mouth, holding it there until it started to melt and stick to my teeth.
‘You’re disgusting,’ I said to myself, but found I didn’t care. There was no one to see me and the gloopy mess tasted so good. Answering the phone with a mouthful of melted chocolate is quite a feat and, on reflection, I’m not sure why I thought I could do it; but when it rang I didn’t stop to think and picked it up, mumbling my number incoherently into the receiver.
‘Lydia? You sound strange. Did I interrupt your dinner?’
Josh! Oh, my God! How much worse could it be? I swallowed hard to clear the blockage.
‘Um … I’ve just finished,’ I lied, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.
‘Oh, good. Are you free on Saturday evening by any chance? I know it’s a long shot, with it being Valentine’s Day.’
‘Er … yes … I’m free.’ Is this really happening? ‘What did you have in mind?’
‘If I told you to wait and see, would you take a risk?’ He was laughing.
I gulped, ‘Well, I guess so.’ What have I got to lose?
‘That’s cool. I’ll send the car for you at four-thirty; Paul should remember the route from this afternoon. OK?’
‘Yes … well … just one thing. Is there a dress code where we’re going?’
‘Oh, yeah. Um … wear a dress.’ I could almost hear him grinning. ‘See ya Saturday, Luvsik Lydia.’
This will be a date! This will be a real date! So why do I wish it was with someone else?
Chapter 29: Valentine’s Day
‘A helicopter? Seriously?’ Trudi was gobsmacked. ‘One minute you’re terrified to consider the idea of a nice, quiet plane ride and the next you’re swanning off all over the countryside in a helicopter, snogging a rock star. Way to go, Lyd!’
‘Ah, but you haven’t heard the best bit yet; he’s taking me out on Saturday.’
‘But, that’s Valentine’s Day. I gather you haven’t spoken to Des yet?’
‘No. I suppose I’ll ring him eventually.’
‘I think you should. After all, he did set you up with Josh.’
‘Yes, I’ll ring him on Sunday and tell him all about my date. Satisfied? When did you get to be his greatest supporter, anyway?’
‘I just think he deserves a hearing, that’s all. You’re making all kinds of assumptions and you’re not giving him a chance to explain.’
‘I’ll deal with it in my own time.’
‘It’s your decision, of course. I’m sure you’ll have a great time with Josh, but be careful.’
‘I’m not a child, Trudi. I know what I’m doing.’ She was starting to annoy me a little, probably because I knew she had a point.
‘I just don’t want you to get hurt …’
‘It’s too late to worry about that now,’ I said. ‘I had enough hurt on Saturday to last a lifetime.’
‘I’m sorry, I’m sure you did, darling. Have a lovely time and keep me posted.’
We ended the conversation and I spent the next few hours going through my wardrobe, yet again, to choose an outfit for the big night. This was by no means easy. Everything I tried on made me look too fat or too old. Eventually, I decided to go with the ‘little black dress’ I’d worn for my first karaoke. Now all I had to do was wait.
I finished writing the article for Luvsik Memories and emailed it to Angela during my lunch break on Friday. She approved it and sent some publicity photos to accompany publication on the website. I flicked through the attachments: Josh arriving at the restaurant, Josh shaking hands with me, Josh smiling at me across the table. I hadn’t even realised that one had been taken. The photographer had been so discreet I’d forgotten he was there.
That evening, as I logged on to upload the article and the pictures, I had another email with two more JPEGs attached.
Hi again, Lydia,
Josh has asked me to send you these, but NOT FOR PUBLICATION.
Looks like you two had a great time.…
Angela
I opened the attachments and gasped as I saw the contents. The first shot was of me climbing into the helicopter. It had been taken from inside the chopper and was a little out of focus, but it showed me smiling nervously at Josh whose arm was around my waist.
The second picture really took my breath away. There must have been cameras everywhere, because this one showed our mid-flight kiss. I blushed as I looked at it and wondered what Des would make of it. Not that he’d ever see it, of course. On impulse I printed the pictures and took them into
the kitchen. While the kettle was boiling, I stuck them on the fridge beside my list, and took a pen to tick items one and three as ‘achieved’. I should have been dancing on air, but I wasn’t.
I remembered the day I’d found the list and felt such a failure. Des had helped me through all that. He’d made me believe I could achieve anything I wanted to, and without his help and encouragement I knew I would never have come this far. But more than that, he’d made me believe in myself. I’d forgotten I was a middle-aged frump and I’d started to think I was worthy of someone’s attention, maybe even his love. Self-delusion is the worst of failings. I should have known better.
I returned to my desk and uploaded the interview and the official photos. There were a few site members online who commented straight away. I was the hero of the hour and the envy of all my readers. I answered a few questions and then Des’s avatar lit up, indicating that he was now online. A few minutes later his comment appeared beneath the interview.
‘Well done, Lyd.’
I couldn’t ignore it as I’d answered all the others.
‘Thanks’ I typed and logged off, grateful that the Internet made it so easy to avoid such awkward moments.
The phone rang; I ignored it and listened as he left a message.
‘Lyd, I don’t know what to do now. You won’t take my calls or answer my texts. We need to talk face-to-face. Please, pick up the phone and tell me when I can see you…’ He waited; I didn’t pick up the phone. He hung up and I went to bed.
I killed time on Saturday morning by cleaning the house from top to bottom. I’m no domestic goddess, but I needed the distraction as I was unable to sit still for longer than five minutes. By lunchtime, everything was perfect and I still had four hours to fill. I checked the kitchen cupboards and the fridge, made a shopping list and headed for the supermarket.
I was reaching for a packet of cornflakes when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.
‘It is Lydia, isn’t it? Are you better now?’ Alice’s smile was friendly and I tried to match it with my own. ‘Such a pity you had to rush off last week. I was looking forward to getting to know you better.’
Why? I thought. ‘I’m fine now,’ I mumbled. ‘Migraine.’
‘I think Des must have been afflicted with the same thing. He was like a bear with a sore head after you’d gone and he left a short time later. Honestly! Imagine abandoning me on my first night back in town! Still, Trudi got Emilio to walk me back to my hotel. She’s quite a character, isn’t she?’
Hotel? She stayed at a hotel? I swallowed hard and tried to sound casual.
‘Oh, you’re not staying at Des’s, then?’ I asked.
‘Good Lord, no. He doesn’t have a spare room and that sofa bed in the living room would kill my back. Besides, I’m here “on expenses” from the TV company, so I may as well make the most of it.’
‘I hadn’t realised you were here on business.’
‘Mixing business with personal stuff, actually. Look, have you got time for coffee? We can’t chat here. I noticed we’re next door to Costa.’
We made our way through the checkouts and were soon settled at a table with our drinks. Alice was a great talker and chattered incessantly. She was in town to host an Anglo-Australian co-production of a TV special.
‘What sort of show is it?’
‘A chat show, with some music and an element of audience participation,’ she replied. ‘It’s a pilot, for a possible series. We’ve been rehearsing all week and it’s being recorded tonight with a live audience.’
‘How exciting!’ I wanted to ask her where Des fitted in but I didn’t have the courage.
‘If it goes down well, we’ll be doing the next one in Sydney. If it flops, well at least they’ve paid for my trip and I’ll have dealt with my “loose ends”.’
‘Loose ends? Oh, you mean the personal stuff…’
‘Yes …’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘Lydia, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you wear your heart on your sleeve, you know. You have nothing to worry about.’
‘What do you mean?’
She smiled kindly. ‘I’m not here to start things up with Des again. I came to finish it properly and to tell him I’m getting married in April.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’ I searched her face, looking for clues.
‘Because I saw your reaction last week when he arrived with me and I saw his reaction when you left so suddenly. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that you two have something going on. He should have given you an explanation. I take it you’ve been seeing each other?’
I nodded. ‘Well, sort of …’ I began. ‘We were friends and he was helping me … do something …’ I didn’t want to tell her about the list. ‘And then …’
‘You slept together and it got complicated? I know how that feels. I don’t know you very well, Lydia, but I lived with Des for eight years, so I might understand better than you think. If it helps at all, I believe he’s just as confused as you are.’
‘He talked to you about it?’
‘Not in so many words, but, like I said, we were together for a long time. He didn’t have to say much. When I gave him your phone message and witnessed the atmosphere between the two of you, I pretty much knew how it was. Then yesterday I went round for coffee and we were chatting and somehow your name kept popping into the conversation. Eventually, he admitted that he’d been trying to call you all week and that you weren’t taking his calls.’
‘I think I’ve screwed up badly here. I should have given him a chance to explain.’
‘Well, it may not be too late. It’s Valentine’s Day, after all – what better time could there be for a reconciliation? I know he’s free tonight; I was going to ask if he wanted to come and see the show we’re recording, but I’m sure you could make him a better offer.’
Oh, there’s a thought! In a couple of hours, Josh Greenwood’s driver will be calling to whisk me away for a fun-filled evening with a megastar. So, all I have to do is ring and cancel the opportunity of a lifetime on the off-chance that Des will forgive me for being an idiot!
‘I’ve got plans for tonight …’
‘It’s up to you, of course.’ She stood up to leave. ‘I have to go now. Make-up, lighting checks and so on start at three-thirty and I haven’t even showered yet, so I need to get a move on.’ She handed me a business card. ‘Stay in touch; I’m rooting for a happy ending.’
That makes two of us. What am I going to do?
The choices were simple enough; I could call Des and then cancel my date with Josh, or I could go out with Josh and call Des on Sunday.
As I unpacked the shopping, the phone rang and the decision was taken out of my hands.
Chapter 30: Double Date
‘It’s Josh. We’re on the way to pick you up now. I know it’s early, but we’ve had to move everything forward. You can be ready in forty-five minutes, can’t you?’
‘I … er … well, I’m not sure …’
‘Aw, come on. You can’t let me down now, Luvsik Lydia.’ Of course I couldn’t; he didn’t give me time to make excuses. He ended the call and I raced for the bathroom.
For the record, it took me thirty-seven minutes to shower, dress, put on my make-up and have a nervous breakdown. I spent the next six minutes staring at my mobile trying to compose a text to Des. I gave up when a car horn tooted outside and grabbed my coat and bag on the way out.
In most respects, I’m quite unimpressed by the trappings of fame and fortune, but I have to confess that the thrill of seeing a silver Rolls-Royce Phantom parked outside my gate would take some beating. The sight of Josh Greenwood getting out of the back seat and holding the car door open for me was pretty cool too and caused a fair bit of curtain-twitching in the street. Josh waved at my next-door neighbour who was standing on her front step gawping unashamedly.
She waved back and her jaw dropped further still when Josh made a great show of kissing me on both cheeks, continental-style.
What have I done? I closed my eyes and lowered my head. Maybe I’d wake up from this dream in a minute and do things the right way. But then again, why break the habit of a lifetime?
‘You OK?’ Josh asked. ‘We’re supposed to be having fun.’
I raised my head and forced a smile. ‘I’ll be fine,’ I said. ‘I just need a minute.’
‘I know what you need.’ He produced a bottle of vodka and two glasses from an elegant drinks cabinet fitted behind the driver’s seat, and poured us each a generous measure. The alcohol hit home straight away as I hadn’t eaten all day.
‘Where are we actually going?’ I asked. ‘You didn’t tell me.’
‘TV studio first. I have to record an interview for some Aussie show. I thought you might enjoy tagging along. Then there’s an after-show dinner. How does that sound?’
I gulped my drink down and let him refill my glass. ‘So who else will be at the dinner?’
‘Some TV bigwigs and the other guests from the show, I suppose. Oh and a few reporters, I imagine.’ He winked. ‘You won’t be the only journo there.’
I laughed. ‘You’re not supposed to tease me!’
‘Well, at least you look happier now… is that me or is it down to the booze?’
‘I don’t know,’ I replied, and that was the truth. ‘Maybe a little of both …’
‘Then, I shall have to eliminate my rival.’ He took my empty glass and put it and the bottle away. ‘I can’t stand competition.’ His eyes were laughing as he put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. ‘Now let’s relax and have a little fun.’
I leaned against his shoulder and closed my eyes as he tilted my head back and kissed me. The vodka was coursing through my veins and my body seemed to have a will of its own. His arms were strong and comforting, but he was the wrong man. I responded to his kisses on the physical level while my mind tried to erase the image of Des walking away from my house, probably for ever.
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