by Syrie James
“I give you fair warning, in case you wish to fly away,” he said, his voice deep and soft. “I am going to kiss you.”
Chapter Thirteen
All rational thought fled from Alexandra’s mind. She only knew one thing with certainty: she didn’t want to fly away. She wanted his kiss, welcomed it. She waited, her heart pounding so hard and so loudly against her ribs, she wondered if he could hear it.
Lowering his hand from her cheek, he moved his lips closer still, until they brushed against hers briefly, with no more than the gossamer caress of a butterfly’s wings. “Last warning,” he murmured.
Alexandra had no idea how to kiss, but wanted, somehow, to remove all doubt from his mind. Instinctively, she began moving her mouth ever so softly against his.
It appeared to be all the response he required. Longford drew her to him with one hand, while the other hand slipped up to the back of her neck. Gently cradling her head, he pressed a series of small kisses against the sides of her mouth, her upper lip, and the lower one, then concentrated on her mouth as a whole. His soft, trim mustache gently tickled her. His lips were warm and smooth, and she felt the ardor that simmered behind them, waiting to be unleashed.
Alexandra returned the kisses, her breath quickening as she raised one hand to sift through his silky hair, allowing the other to roam across the broad expanse of his back.
With increasing fervor, he feasted on her mouth. His tongue pressed against her lips, parting them as if seeking entry, an action that surprised her. She gave way, and he emitted a sudden groan as his mouth took hers, a sweet melding as his tongue slipped inside and tangled with her own, a new sensation that she reveled in.
His arms were all around her now, pressing against her back, stroking her hair. She felt a few pins come free from her tresses, heard them scatter on the wooden floor as strands of hair loosened around her face.
A low and throaty sound escaped her mouth as he pressed her up against the bookcase. Alexandra’s heart throbbed, and sparks flew throughout her entire body. At the same time, the entire room seemed to glow, as if lit by a thousand candles. A corner of her mind wondered what had made that sudden gleam.
All at once, a crack of thunder rent the air, explanation for the lightning that had preceded it.
Longford paused and stiffened in her arms.
To Alexandra’s crushing disappointment, he pulled back and released her. They stared at each other for a long moment, both of them struggling to catch their breath, the sound of the rain battering the windowpanes. She saw him swallow hard; then, to her dismay, saw the ardor in his eyes shift and change.
“Forgive me. I should not have kissed you like that. It was unbelievably inappropriate.”
But I wanted you to, she longed to say. Her lips wouldn’t form the words.
He stepped away, picked up her shawl from the floor, and handed it to her. “Again, forgive me. I hope we can forget my brief lack of self-control. That can never happen again.”
Longford strode from the room, his footsteps echoing in the vast chamber until he vanished through the far door.
Later, lying in bed, Alexandra kept replaying in her mind the scorching kiss she’d shared with Longford. She’d never imagined such a kiss, had never dreamed anything could be so stimulating or so powerful.
She’d loved every second of that kiss, and would like nothing more than to kiss Lord Longford again. But whatever had just happened in the library, it was to be the only such moment they would ever share. Despite his attraction to her—and it was obvious now that he was attracted—he was too honorable to have a relationship with her, a woman in his employ.
She couldn’t fault him for his convictions. They were commendable. And, she told herself, it was better this way. Fate alone had put her in this position. It was a charade that would soon end. In a few short months she’d be home again where she belonged, back at Vassar College, finishing her studies. She was going to make something out of her life, not be the wife of an English nobleman in far-off Cornwall.
Wife? Where had that thought come from? A single kiss was hardly a first step toward matrimony. She had no desire to marry, and as Longford had so firmly pointed out, neither did he.
As Alexandra tossed and turned on her pillow, however, one question kept haunting her:
After that kiss, how would she be able to look him in the eye?
When she arrived in the nursery the next morning, Alexandra presented Julia with the copy of Pride and Prejudice.
“What’s this?” Julia asked.
“It’s a novel about the unmarried daughters of a gentleman and his foolish wife as they look for love among the landed gentry.”
That seemed to catch Julia’s attention. “It is about love?”
“The heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, is remarkable. And there’s a handsome hero, Mr. Darcy, who has to grow and change to be worthy of her love.”
“Well, I suppose I could look it over.”
Martha entered and set out bowls of porridge beneath their silver domes. As the girls took their seats, Julia announced: “Do not forget, Miss Watson. Thomas and I are going riding this afternoon.”
“I’m afeared ye won’t be havin’ nary a ride with His Lordship this day, Lady Julia,” Martha commented.
“Why not?”
“’Cause he’s gone away to London.”
“Gone to London?” Alexandra repeated. Disappointment surged through her like a tide.
“Left at first light, he did. Said he might not be back for months.”
“Months!” Lillie cried. “But he was not to leave for days yet. Why did he go so soon?”
“I s’pose he got tired of dallyin’ in the country,” Martha surmised.
“This isn’t fair,” Julia complained. “He promised to ride with me. What does Thomas do in London, that he has to go so often and stay so long?”
“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s important,” Alexandra said quickly. With sympathy, she added, “I’m sorry you won’t be able to ride with your brother today. I know how much you were looking forward to it.”
“Now he will be away again for months,” Lillie murmured dejectedly.
And it’s all my fault, intoned a voice in the back of Alexandra’s mind. She could guess exactly why Longford had chosen to leave sooner than intended. It was last night’s kiss in the library, the memory of which brought sudden heat to her cheeks.
He’d run away, unable to face her.
As the week wore on, Alexandra deeply felt the void left by Longford’s absence.
While working with the girls in the nursery and schoolroom, she found her mind constantly drifting to thoughts of him. Every time she ventured into the library, she couldn’t help remembering the kiss they’d shared. She was surprised by how much she missed him.
Although Alexandra enjoyed the hours spent with Julia and Lillie, they were also a constant reminder of how much she missed her own sisters. Since she’d left New York, Alexandra had become accustomed to exchanging letters with Madeleine and Kathryn on a regular basis, yet it had been weeks now since they’d been in communication. Thinking about them brought a lump to her throat. They used to talk about everything, sharing and advising each other on even the smallest things in life.
Alexandra longed to tell her sisters about her escape from the hotel. She smiled, thinking how Kathryn would react, laughing and calling it a marvelous adventure. She wondered what they’d say if they knew Alexandra was working as a governess for a handsome earl at his country estate in Cornwall, how they’d react if she admitted they’d kissed. A kiss that had been far more wondrous than anything she’d ever imagined.
Alexandra and Madeleine had often bemoaned their lack of experience with the opposite sex, desperately curious as to what it’d be like to be intimate with a man. Kathryn, the most daring of the threesome, had kissed any number of boys—and men—and thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, Alexandra understood why.
She’d wanted to write to her sisters before leaving London, but hadn’
t had enough money for postage. If only she could write to them now. But it was impossible. The postmark would reveal her location. Her father might see it, might even read the letter. He’d tell her mother. In a village as small as Longford, it wouldn’t be long before Alexandra was discovered.
She wondered if her mother was still in London, or if she’d started for home. Ten days had passed since the steamship Maritime left Liverpool. It would have docked in New York today. Did her parents tell the press she hadn’t sailed on the Maritime after all? Or was a news-hungry public surprised to discover that Alexandra didn’t arrive on board that ship?
Since the earl’s departure, there had been no newspapers at Polperran House. Suddenly, Alexandra felt desperate for information about what was going on in the outside world.
One afternoon while Julia was riding and Lillie was reading, Alexandra walked to Longford village. It was a warm spring day. As she strolled down the road, she inhaled the fragrance of sun-warmed grass and wildflowers. The tiny village was virtually empty of people or traffic, the narrow main street with its small stone houses and shops as beleaguered-looking as she remembered, a testament to the strain of financial hardship that weighed it down.
At the post office, she bought a day-old London newspaper with a coin Mrs. Mitchell had been kind enough to give her.
“Ye must be the new governess at Polperran House, I expect?” the postmistress said with a curious smile.
“I am,” Alexandra replied, amazed by the speed with which small town news spread. “Nice to meet you.”
Alexandra stepped outside, sat down on a bench in the shade of a giant elm, and perused the newspaper hungrily. Although it was full of interesting news, there was nothing in the paper about her.
The next day, she repeated the exercise. This time, she found an article in the society pages that made her gasp.
American Heiress Alexandra Atherton Gone to Switzerland
An earlier report that American heiress Alexandra Atherton departed the London Season for New York was apparently in error. Miss Atherton, the 24-year-old daughter of New York multimillionaire banking magnate Colis Atherton, reputedly came with a dowry of $1 million (£200,000), and was in London seeking to marry a title.
The heiress refused two offers of marriage before leaving the London scene very suddenly eleven days ago. In a letter discovered soon afterward by her mother, Mrs. Josephine Atherton, the vanished Miss Atherton explained that she was taking passage on the steamship Maritime and returning to New York.
However, it has now been ascertained that Miss Atherton never set foot on the Maritime, but rather, went to Switzerland for her health. Mrs. Atherton, out of respect for her daughter’s privacy, has refused to reveal any details about the state of the young lady’s health or the facility where she is staying, other than to say that she is expected to be out of the country for several months.
Fortune-hunting bachelors who were hoping to cash in on an Atherton fortune need not feel totally dismayed, however. Although Alexandra Atherton will apparently not be returning anytime soon, it has come to this newspaper’s attention that there are two other Atherton girls of marriageable age, one of whom may be en route to London at this very moment, to be introduced in the last months of the Season.
Alexandra stared at the newspaper in shock and repugnance. Switzerland? For her health? What a preposterous lie!
She threw the newspaper into a rubbish bin and walked the mile back to Polperran House, her head spinning. So, her mother was still in London. Was it true that one of her sisters was coming to England to finish out the Season in Alexandra’s stead? If so, her mother would surely send for Madeleine, the next in line. She wouldn’t put it past her mother to have all of Alexandra’s gowns made over to fit her younger sister, who was almost her size.
Alexandra’s heart went out to Madeleine. Her sister was beautiful, smart, vibrant, and highly creative. She deserved the right to finish her college education and to choose her own husband in her own time, not to be subjected to the dictates of their mother, or the public onslaught that was the London Season.
Alexandra continued down the road, suddenly heartsick and so homesick it made her chest ache. The unfairness of her circumstances tormented her with every step. She was living in a freezing-cold house that was stuck in the dark ages, without gas lighting or indoor plumbing. She was earning mere pennies, her days spent teaching two young girls, and her evenings alone. The servants only spoke to her if she approached them first. She had to be up early, take care of every personal detail herself, and only had a single dress to wear. The food on offer was tasteless and always the same. She was completely cut off from her sisters and family. Every hour of every day she was on edge, carefully watching everything she said, so as not to make a false step or give away her true identity. And the man she’d come to care about was conspicuously, deliberately absent.
Alexandra allowed herself a dash of self-pity. Until this moment, she hadn’t truly appreciated the safe, peaceful, pampered life she used to lead, or fully valued her loving relationship with her sisters.
As she passed through the gates of Polperran House, however, and walked up the drive, taking in the ancient, imposing building beyond the avenue of trees, she reprimanded herself for her complaints. She was far better off than many people in the world. She was housed and fed, living in a beautiful part of the country, and teaching two girls who she believed desperately needed her attention.
She might be lonely. She might not see the Earl of Longford for many weeks, if ever again. But while she lived in his house, she would make a difference in the lives of his sisters. She would be the best governess she could be.
Julia, to her evident surprise, admitted that Pride and Prejudice was an interesting book, and Lillie was eager to discuss Jane Eyre at every available opportunity. Alexandra now had permission to expand the breadth of their education still more, beyond the reading of novels and the limited subjects that had comprised their curriculum.
She searched the Polperran House library and found many interesting volumes, but they were old, geared toward a sophisticated readership, and much of the information was out of date. In the absence of new schoolbooks, and no guarantee that they would ever come, Alexandra decided she must turn to her own devices, and create those materials and lesson plans herself.
They continued the geography sessions with the globe. To study physical science, Alexandra took the girls to the gardens, where they examined the way that plants and flowers grew and were pollinated by insects. Their French lessons were no longer dry recitations of verb conjugations, but rather, dialogs invented by the girls, which were then translated, memorized, and spoken aloud, often evoking bursts of hilarity. Julia’s belligerent attitude began to thaw as she became increasingly interested in the new things she was being taught.
The game Alexandra invented for mathematics was the girls’ favorite of all. She asked Julia and Lillie to gather articles of clothing, along with old toys and personal items such as combs, brushes, and shoes, which they spread out on tables and chairs in the nursery. Each object was carefully tagged with a price. The girls were given a budget, and, with pretend money they made themselves, went on a shopping expedition to buy whatever they could afford, taking turns playing shopper and shopkeeper. The activity not only provided many hours of enjoyment, but demonstrated to them a valid purpose for honing their mathematical skills.
Etiquette lessons were relegated to twice a week, needlework to once a week, and evenings spent either playing piano, discussing their books in progress, or reading aloud. Although Julia still fell into sulky moods at times, she seemed far happier than she’d been when Alexandra first arrived. Lillie no longer hid during the day, took all her meals in the nursery, and seemed to be settling into the new routine with enthusiasm.
One morning, they were in the middle of a French lesson, when Alexandra observed a finely dressed gentleman approaching the house on horseback. His hat was pulled too low for her to glimps
e his face.
“Who’s that?” Alexandra indicated the horseman below.
Julia glanced out. “Charles Grayson, the Earl of Saunders, eldest son of the Marquess of Trevelyan. I do not know why he still bothers to come. Even if Thomas were home, he would not see him.”
The name Grayson sounded familiar. “Didn’t you tell me you had a friend named Helen Grayson?”
“Yes, Lord Saunders is her brother.”
“Is he a friend of your brother?”
“He used to be. He and Thomas went to school together. But now Thomas will not even speak to him.”
“Why not?”
“I have no idea. They stopped speaking not long after Thomas returned from Italy, just before Papa died.”
“I wish Thomas did not hate Lord Saunders,” Lillie interjected with a frown. “It is so unfair that we cannot go to Trevelyan Manor anymore.”
“Where is Trevelyan Manor?” Alexandra asked.
“About five miles away, on the coast,” Julia explained.
“On the coast? How lovely.” Alexandra hadn’t realized that the sea was so close by.
“Anna was my best friend.” Lillie’s expression was woebegone.
“And Helen was mine. We used to do everything together.” Julia let go a wistful sigh. “But no matter how much I beg, Thomas will not let us see them anymore.”
“You do not just want to see Helen,” Lillie commented matter-of-factly. “You want to see James.”
Julia blushed fiercely. “That is not true.”
“Yes it is. You like James.”
“Who is James?” Alexandra asked, although she already suspected the answer.
“Lord Saunders’s younger brother,” Lillie replied.
“And I don’t like him!” Julia retorted heatedly.
Alexandra thought it best to end the conversation, and they returned to their French lesson. Moments later, she saw the horseman trotting back in the direction from which he’d come.