“The hospital keeps me very busy, and when I’m not there I usually spend my free time with Victoria,” he said firmly. They all stood in uncomfortable silence, save for the Christmas music playing in the background. Ready to end the awkward moment, Parker spoke up again. “We’re glad you could make it this evening,” he nodded to Pamela, then to her parents. And with that, he took Victoria’s hand in his and walked away.
“I thought you said you two were ancient history,” Victoria said through clenched teeth once they left the room.
“We are. Ancient history doesn’t always mean time. In this case it means feelings,” Parker sighed, running his hand over his scalp. He looked into Victoria’s eyes, knowing he had to tell her the complete truth. “We . . . we slept together a few months ago, before I met you. But I put an end to it . . . for good. That’s the truth.”
Victoria realized that Parker didn’t have to divulge the fact that they’d slept together. He could have easily said they’d only gone out, but he told her the full truth because he was trying to be honest. “Okay, so why didn’t you tell me that she lived a few blocks from you?”
“For the same reason you never mentioned that Ted was white, or that he’s the friend you were with when you had your accident,” Parker responded. “Because it’s no big deal. Isn’t that what you told me?”
Victoria had to check herself. He’d just given her a taste of her own medicine. The only thing she could do was nod her head. “Yes, I guess you’re right.”
“Baby, you know I love you, and as you can see I have no interest in Pamela. Now, let’s get back to enjoying your favorite time of year.” He kissed her on the lips, quieting her fears.
Thicker Than Water. . .
The Presleys left right before dinner, even though Dorothy had begged them to stay. “I’ve lost my appetite,” was Pamela’s short response.
Sitting at the large banquet table in the Brightwoods’ ultra-formal dining room, with more than twenty of Parker’s relatives, Victoria watched as Francis, the help, set the last of the holiday feast on the buffet table. Victoria balked at the fact that Parker’s mother had actually made the poor woman wear a gray maid’s uniform, and cringed even more when Parker said he didn’t find anything wrong with it. “It’s just formality,” he’d said.
“Victoria, I have to say that I’m surprised my son brought you home to meet the family after dating for only three short months,” Dorothy said with icy skepticism. Everyone around the table looked uncomfortable after her comment.
“Aunt Dot, you can’t put a time table on love when you find that special someone,” cousin Samantha spoke up, giving Victoria a wink. She leaned over close and whispered in Victoria’s ear, “By the way, she hates it when anyone calls her Dot. I do it just to fuck with her.”
Victoria smiled at Samantha’s little gab, then lifted her glass of Pinot Grigio to her lips in favor of giving Parker’s mother a piece of her mind.
“Victoria, I think you’re a lovely young woman,” Fred Brightwood jumped in. “My blessings are with the two of you. Welcome to the family, dear,” he said as if it were a foregone conclusion that Victoria would soon be hyphenating her last name to add Brightwood to her title.
“Let’s not jump the gun,” Dorothy scolded in a playful, yet serious tone. “You don’t want to rush these two.”
“Dad’s right,” Parker nodded, “when it’s right you know it. And believe me, I know it this time.”
“Yes, you’re a lucky man to have such a beautiful woman,” Mason added.
Parker looked squarely at his older brother, and Victoria sensed an unsettling edge in his body language that screamed something was wrong. “That’s the third time today that you’ve mentioned my girlfriend’s obvious beauty,” Parker said in a threatening tone.
Now everyone at the huge table was aware that something wasn’t right. Mason’s wife looked at her husband with growing irritation.
“I didn’t know you were counting, little brother,” Mason replied with sarcasm.
Parker smirked, trying to control the anger that was rising in his voice. “I have to keep an eye on you, big brother.”
“What’s gotten into you boys?” Dorothy snapped, looking at Parker. “Your brother’s just trying to pay your dinner guest a compliment.”
Victoria had to take another sip of wine. Dorothy had just referred to her as a dinner guest. She knew that Victoria was more than that; she was Parker’s girlfriend. And from what Parker’s father, and Parker himself had just said, she would soon be a member of the family. But Victoria knew the comment was Dorothy’s way of letting her know where she stood in her book.
“Nothing’s gotten into me, Mother. Why don’t you ask Mason what’s his problem?” Parker said in an accusatory tone.
“What are you trying to say, Parker?” Mason asked, shielding his wife’s suspicious eyes.
“You know exactly what I’m saying.”
Mason cleared his throat. “I think you better calm down. Clearly you’re letting the wrong head do your thinking,” he volleyed smoothly as he buttered his freshly baked dinner roll. Victoria almost choked!
“I know you’d like to have what I have and that’s your damn problem, Mason. Don’t think I didn’t see you looking at Victoria today. I saw you watching her when she was standing in front of the tree, helping the kids unwrap gifts.”
“Parker!” his mother shouted. Fred simply looked on in astonishment.
But Parker continued. “And I saw you looking at her last night when we were doing the champagne toast. Let’s not pretend. We all know how you are.”
“You can say that again,” cousin Samantha slid in, under her breath.
Parker stared directly at Mason’s wife, who looked as if she could spit in her husband’s face because she’d witnessed first-hand the truth of Parker’s words. “I know what you’re capable of, so I’m warning you, back the fuck off because in this case, blood isn’t thicker than water, my brother!”
“Now that’s quite enough!” Fred finally stepped in.
Parker had just called his brother out in front of the entire family, and his wife, who’d already jumped down his throat about her suspicions. Mason was green with envy and mad as hell. He ignored his father’s attempted intervention. “My, aren’t we bold these days. You better tread lightly,” he threatened.
“You’re jealous,” Parker snarled.
“And you’re pussy whipped.”
“See what happens when you bring just anyone to dinner,” Dorothy said, shaking her head with anger.
“Excuse me?” Victoria shouted, giving Dorothy a look that could melt ice. “I’m not the one talking about pussy at the dinner table!” she corrected, letting her words fly out like darts in Dorothy’s direction.
“Damn, this is gettin’ good!” Samantha chuckled, watching the fiasco unfold.
Parker leaned forward in his seat. “Yeah, I’m probably whipped, and you wish you could be too. It kills you that you can’t have her. I heard it in your voice when you called to rub it in my face after you saw Victoria that day at Tavern on the Green. Well, she’s with me and we love each other. For once in your life can’t you be happy for anyone other than yourself? Why do you always have to be the top dog? You have a wife who loves you and two beautiful kids sleeping upstairs who adore you. Why can’t you be satisfied with your happiness?”
Mason threw his linen napkin on the table. “You don’t know shit about my happiness,” he yelled.
“See the trouble you’ve caused,” Dorothy glared at Victoria.
“I’ve had it,” Victoria huffed, “this unwanted dinner guest is gettin’ the hell up outta here.” She rose from the table with Parker following on her heels. They left the rest of the Brightwoods sitting at the well-appointed table in complete silence.
I’m Stating Facts...
Later that night in their hotel room, Parker and Victoria were lying in bed. “Baby, I’m sorry about what happened. Mason’s behavior was completely
uncalled for. This competition thing between us goes way back, but I never knew it was this deep. He’s obviously going through some things,” Parker said.
“I had your brother’s number the first time I met him. But I’m not half as upset with Mason as I am with your mother.”
“My mother? Why are you upset with her?”
Victoria searched Parker’s face. He was truly clueless. “Did you not hear the insults she hurled at me from the minute I walked through the door? All the inappropriate questions, her dinner guest comment, the way she blubbered over Pamela, not to mention the fact that it was obvious she hadn’t told anyone that I was coming home with you. She even blamed Mason’s womanizing on me! Were you not a witness to all that?”
“I think you’re overreacting. She’s always treated the women we’ve brought home with a judging eye, but it’s nothing personal. She’s just protective of her boys. I’ve never known Mother to be insulting, at least not the way you’re suggesting.”
“I’m not suggesting, I’m stating facts.” Victoria paused. “She’s probably never made off-handed remarks to any of the women you’ve dated because none of them have ever looked like me. They all look like Pamela and the rest of those bitches in your photo album.”
“Here we go with that again.”
“You think this is just something that’s in my head. You think I’m overreacting?”
Parker nodded his head, irritation spreading across his face. “At times, yes.”
“Didn’t you hear the way your mother talked to me? Or were you too wrapped up in your pissing contest with your big brother to notice?”
Parker got up, his naked body bouncing off the light reflected from the window across the room.
“Where are you going?” Victoria demanded.
“To take a shower; I think one of us needs to cool off.”
Victoria listened to the sound of running water that filled the room, and thought about her past that never quite seemed to go away. She felt seven years old again, lying in bed, preparing to cry herself to sleep.
Buried All The Love. . .
It was the day after New Year’s, and Hartsfield International Airport was buzzing with activity. Parker and Victoria stood at the private gate reserved for the Africa Project participants and their families, and waited for the boarding announcement. Their Christmas holidays had been rocky, but the last few days had made up for it.
After their argument on Christmas evening, Parker felt terrible that Victoria had been brought to tears and he knew that he was partially responsible for her state. He apologized over and over. After they made up he went downstairs to the gift shop to get her Tylenol for the headache that he and his family had caused. When he returned to their room, he massaged her back and kneaded the tension from her shoulders. Then he laid her across the feather down bed, opened her wide, and buried all the love he had inside her.
They decided to leave the next morning, putting an abrupt end to their catastrophic visit. But before they headed to the airport, they made a quick stop by the Brightwood house. Victoria remained in the car while Parker went inside. He confronted his mother and made it clear that Victoria was going to be a permanent part of his life, then told her that she needed to change her attitude toward the woman he loved if she wanted to see her third-born child during the holidays again. Reluctantly, Dorothy Brightwood acquiesced.
As for Mason, who’d already packed up his family and headed back home to New York, that was a more sensitive subject. After a long phone conversation with his brother, Parker confided to Victoria that Mason’s home life had been unhappy for years, and that his marriage was speeding fast toward divorce. He and Parker made amends, but they both acknowledged their unresolved issues that still lingered, and made a pact with each other to work toward resolving them.
After they came back to Atlanta, they made the most of the short time they had left. Although Parker was pissed when Ted called Victoria on New Year’s Day, he didn’t say anything. The last thing he wanted to do was leave the country for six months after having an argument over Ted Thornton.
The flight attendant began boarding passengers.
“I’m gonna miss you so much, baby,” Parker said as he held Victoria in his arms.
She sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that came anyway. “I’ll miss you too.”
Parker rocked her back and forth, savoring the memory of the love they’d made the night before, something he knew he was going to miss in the months to come. “I’ll email and call when I can,” he told her.
“Promise?”
He nodded and smiled. “I promise.” He inhaled her sweet perfume, already missing her. “I know we’ve had our disagreements, but I love you, Victoria.”
The flight attendant announced the final boarding call for all passengers as they shared one last kiss. Parker gently wiped the tears from Victoria’s eyes, fought back the urge to openly shed his own, then walked onto the plane.
Chapter Eighteen
A Mixed Blessing...
Victoria was clad in her white bikini, stylish high-heel sandals, and Jackie O–style sunglasses. She and Juliet were lounging on the cruise ship’s upper deck, enjoying the protection that their wide umbrella provided from the hot Caribbean sun. She was working on her second strawberry daiquiri, complements of the generous male admirers sending drinks her way.
“Girl, I wish this wasn’t our last day of the cruise,” Juliet said, sipping her melon margarita.
“I know, but I’m glad your job let you have time off so soon.”
“Before I started, I told them that I already had this cruise planned. And besides, I needed the break. Between renting out my apartment in New York, moving in with Tyler last month, and starting the new job, it was time for a break.”
They both looked up as Tyler approached. “You ladies have been out here for hours. You ready to head back in?” he asked Juliet.
She smiled, giving him a peck on the cheek. “We’ll see you later, Victoria,” and with that they were off.
As Victoria watched the two lovers stroll back to their cabin room, she thought about Parker and how he should’ve been there with her, enjoying the cruise. He’d only been gone for a little more than two months, but it seemed like an eternity. The first few weeks, even with the village’s limited communications equipment, they’d emailed and talked on the phone at least twice a week. But once the pace of the clinic started to pick up, their emails and phone calls slowed.
Life without Parker was lonely at times, so Victoria was grateful she had the SuperNet project and her growing business to fill her time. Her schedule had become so busy, it forced her to finally open up to Ted about her plans to leave ViaTech and run Divine Occasions full-time. It had been a big weight off her shoulders, and she was glad she didn’t have to continue keeping something so important from him any longer. And although he was completely supportive of her plans, offering to help her in any way he could, Victoria had come to view her relationship with Ted as a mixed blessing.
He was thoughtful, a good listener, and he made her laugh until her sides hurt. But day by day he was forcing her to reevaluate beliefs she’d held all her life, deep-rooted beliefs about the foundation of relationships between men and women, based on race.
But the thing that bothered Victoria the most, the thing she couldn’t get out of her mind as she lay under the warm Caribbean sun, with her many admirers looking on and a handsome and successful boyfriend who loved her, was that all she could think about was Ted.
Later that evening, Victoria walked out onto the balcony of her cabin. She breathed in the salty ocean air for clarity, but her thoughts still felt crowded and confused. She picked up her cell phone and called her mother, pouring her heart out about her dilemma. This was the conversation that Elizabeth had known was coming for some time.
“What do you think about your daughter falling in love with a white man?” Victoria asked. She shocked herself, realizing this was the first time she’d a
dmitted that she loved Ted.
“What matters is what you think,” Elizabeth answered.
“Mom, come on.”
“Sweetheart, I can’t tell you who to love.”
Victoria’s voice was quiet and unsure. “How can I choose?”
“Listen to your heart. Choose the man who makes your heart sing. The man who makes it ache when you’re not with him, and feel full when you are, the man who knows your flaws and still loves you anyway, and above all, the man who will be your friend and cherish and protect that relationship.”
“But I feel that way about both of them.”
Elizabeth was silent for a moment. She knew she had to measure her next words carefully. “I’ve had to fight the same demons you’ve fought. Some used to say you were too dark . . . well, some used to say I was too light. Growing up I caught hell. I was called everything from half-breed to white girl. I was too white to be black, and too black to be white, for some folks’ taste. That’s a terrible in between.
“It wasn’t until I fell in love with your father, that I felt for the first time in my life that I was totally and completely accepted for just being me. There was no dark or light, no good or bad, just love. And, sweetheart, in the end, nothing else matters but the love.”
“What are you saying, Mom?”
“I’m saying that whoever you choose, make that decision based on who you want. Don’t look for permission or approval from anyone. You’ve always known what was best for you, even when your father and I couldn’t see it, and you know what’s best for you now. Just trust yourself.”
“Mom, you say that I know what’s best for me, but this is one time I don’t.”
“You know more than you think. Just pray and the answers will come.”
Get A Substitute. . .
The Monday after Victoria returned from the cruise, her body was in shock from experiencing the warmth of the Caribbean sun one day, and Atlanta’s unusually cold February freeze the next. She got through the long work week, glad that it was Friday night. She made a quick dinner, then checked her email and answering machine. She didn’t have any messages from Parker, so she sent him a quick email. Not quite ready to turn in so early, she grabbed a handful of chocolates and settled onto the couch before dialing Debbie’s number.
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