by CJ Bishop
Leaning back against his chair, Dane shrugged. “Not yet,” he said. “Still mulling it over.”
“What about your parents?” Abel asked and the others at the table quieted, their attention turning to Dane.
“I was considering getting in touch with them,” Dane told him. “But it might be best to just let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak. We didn’t part on good terms and haven’t spoken for almost nine years.”
“What if…” Darius started, hesitated, then went on. “What if they’re praying that God will reunite you and this sudden desire on your part is God urging you to take that step?”
Max smiled. “Very good point.”
“I prayed for years for a loving family,” Darius said. He looked at Max and smiled warmly. “And He gave me Max.” he glanced at the others. “And all of you.” His gaze returned to Dane. “Maybe they’re praying for God to bring you back to them.”
It was a hard notion to buy into, but the possibility warmed Dane’s heart. “Anything’s possible,” he murmured with a smile.
“Of course, it’s just a thought,” Darius said. “I could be sorely wrong. So, naturally, you do what feels right to you.”
Dane chuckled. “Well, it’s a good thought. And I’d like to believe it’s true. During my preteen years, I enjoyed my family. We were happy.” He sighed and snorted, “Then I hit puberty and all hell broke loose. Literally, for my parents. I think they suspected my preferences before I came out. I was already feeling the wall go up between us before I confirmed that I liked boys.”
“It’s sad,” Devlin spoke up. “That families fall apart over something so trivial. I’ll never understand why parents view it as such a tragedy when their child turns out to be gay. Even for those who don’t believe in God, it’s still a devastating reality for them.”
Darius nodded and glanced at Max. “Yeah, our father wasn’t a fan of our kind. In fact, he was quite adamantly against it.” He rubbed his jaw. Dane recalled the bruise on Darius’ face when he first returned with Max and Horatio, a result of his dad’s displeasure in him.
“I guess I was lucky,” Dane said. “My dad never hit me. Of course, I was no small kid. And with my attitude at the time, he probably knew I’d swing back. And he would’ve been right.”
Angel squeezed his hand. “I’m glad he never hit you.”
Looking at Angel—the pure love that flowed through his beautiful heart—how could Dane’s parents see him and not understand what a treasure he was? How could they not see what a perfect blessing he was in Dane’s life…and be happy for their only son?
Sadly, there was a strong possibility that his parents hadn’t changed, and their refusal to accept Dane for who he was would also prevent them from getting to know Angel. And if that turned out to be the case…then that would be their devastating “loss”; not the fact that their son was gay.
♦
Nolan focused on the conversation at hand, avoiding glances at Grid. As soon as he’d noticed the young man at the table, he had turned his attention elsewhere. He didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to see whether or not he had any lingering memories of the party. It was beginning to give Nolan a headache, though, as it became a strain not to look at him. He felt like he was being obviously evasive, although he was certain that wasn’t the case. No one knew anything about what had happened.
Unless Grid had told someone. Without looking their way, Nolan had heard Grid and his friend, Seth, whispering, and swore he could feel the literal weight of their eyes on him. It was just your imagination. They weren’t talking about you. He didn’t dare cast a glance at them—was actually afraid to. He didn’t know why, but whenever his eyes tried to turn in that direction, his heart rate kicked up and shortened his breath, making him slightly lightheaded.
Just ignore them. He’d been doing well so far. He could keep it up. All he had to do was make it through the wedding without any more encounters with Grid and he would be home free. Grid and his friends were guests of Horatio’s. They didn’t live here in the city. They would be gone soon.
The sooner the better.
The wedding was in a few days. Nolan could easily avoid Grid for those days. And there would be too much going on during the wedding to worry about getting caught alone.
Just breathe. You’re in the clear. He may not even remember, anyway.
He did, though. Nolan could feel it in the looks Grid cast his way. They were like tiny shocks of electricity skittering through him. He blamed the sensation on his nerves, his anxiety that their brief encounter would get out and become public. He didn’t need the problems that would present themselves as a result of rumors insisting he was gay. Rumors that would only be enhanced by the company he kept.
Unaware of where his gaze had drifted—he was suddenly staring into Grid’s eyes. Any hopeful doubt he had that Grid was oblivious of the events at the party vanished in an instant. Nolan looked away too quickly as his heartbeat thumped hard and wild at the base of his throat, nearly choking him. The sudden swell of his crotch startled and frightened him as he was propelled back to the restroom; Grid’s strong fist wrapped around Nolan’s hard, throbbing cock…stroking…pumping…hot breath surging into his mouth through their furious, hungry kisses. And the feel of Grid’s hard, hot dick in his Nolan’s hand, thrusting through his tight grip…pulsing…leaking cum juice…so close to coming…
Nolan sucked in a shaky breath and shuddered hard, his crotch throbbing fiercely, painfully. He swallowed thickly and took a drink of wine, wetting his parched throat.
Don’t lose control. Don’t go there. You have too much to lose—too fucking much!
Chapter 5
Following brunch, Savannah went with Maddy, Angel, and Dane over to Clint and Axel’s. On Sundays, Cory and Colton brought Jules and his puppy, Cowboy, over to visit and to let the two pups play together. Savannah had fallen in love with Jules, as well as become close friends with Zoe. Sunday was her favorite day of the week.
It also gave Abel and Devlin “alone time”. Not that they didn’t have plenty as Savannah spent much time at Max’s with Maddy.
“Is everything all right?” Devlin asked when he and Abel entered their home, returning from the brunch. “You’ve been kind of quiet today.” He closed the front door and hugged Abel, kissing his mouth. “That isn’t like you at all,” he teased.
Abel eyed him narrowly. “Thanks.”
Laughing, Devlin suddenly scooped him up in his arms and packed him into the kitchen. He set him on the kitchen island and pushed between his legs, kissing him again, more softly. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“You’re standing between my legs,” Abel smiled. “What do you think is on my mind?”
“We’ll get to that in a minute,” Devlin chuckled. “First tell me why you’ve been so quiet today.”
Abel blew out a short puff of breath and rested his hands on Devlin’s shoulders. “What Dane was saying today, about reconnecting with his parents. It got me thinking about mine and Savannah’s parents.” He fingered the collar of Devlin’s shirt. “They were into drugs and drinking. Kind of on a downward spiral that never seems to end well.” He shrugged. “I was just wondering if they ever got their lives cleaned up. Or if they just got worse. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.” Devlin gazed at him and Abel sighed. “I know,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t even be wasting brain cells on them after the way they treated us. I guess I was just…curious.”
“They’re your parents,” Devlin said. “You have every right to think about them. Being a part of this family, one thing I think we’ve all learned is that even though people make mistakes…even really bad mistakes…forgiveness can be found if they are truly repentant—with both God and those they wronged.”
His lips tight, Abel lowered his eyes and nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered.
“How do you feel when you think about them?” Devlin asked quietly. “Are you angry? Bitter?”
Abel stared blankly at the front of
Devlin’s shirt. “Sad.” He raised his eyes. “They threw us away. At some point in their lives, or maybe not until they stand before God, they’re going to be hit with the full force of that guilt. We needed them and they weren’t there for us. At first, I was very bitter and angry, especially when…” Especially when I was being raped by Craig. He let the words go as hurt shadowed Devlin’s eyes. Abel cupped his face and kissed him softly. “But God brought us to a good place. Gave us a new family, people who cared about us, who protects us.” He stroked his thumbs down Devlin’s cheeks. “He brought us to you. And if going back and changing the past meant I had to give you up…I wouldn’t even consider it.” He slipped his arms around Devlin’s neck and they hugged each other tightly. Abel laid his head on Devlin’s shoulder. “I’m not angry or bitter anymore,” he whispered. “Like I said, I just feel sad. They’re the ones who lost out. They didn’t just throw us away, they threw themselves away, too. I keep praying for them, that God will deliver them from their destructive lifestyle. But I don’t know if it helps. Maybe people have to want to change before God can really help them.”
Devlin squeezed him in his arms and kissed his hair. “Just because a person doesn’t consciously think they need help,” he murmured. “It doesn’t mean that deep down they don’t want help. God sees much deeper into the heart and mind than human beings are capable of. And don’t ever think that praying for someone is a waste of time. Sometimes it’s the prayers themselves that allow God to step in and bring that person to the place where they want to be helped. There is much power in prayer, baby.” He drew back and kissed Abel between the eyes. “I know. I prayed with all my heart and soul and mind that God would bring you back to me. And here we are…just days away from standing before Him and vowing our lives to each other forever. So yeah,” he smiled and kissed his lips. “Believe in the power of prayer.”
Abel smiled. “You’re a wise man, Dr. Devlin Grant.”
Pulling Abel closer, Devlin said, “I don’t think I’m really telling you anything you don’t already know. So, that must make you a wise man, too, sexy Abel Sims.” They kissed deeply, then Devlin asked, “If you decide that you want to try and find your parents, I’ll help you.” His arms loosened and his hands rested on Abel’s hips. “I still have Frank Avery’s number, the private investigator I hired to look into Craig’s case.” Abel didn’t miss the catch in Devlin’s voice whenever Craig was mentioned. It would take him a long while to fully get over the way he had turned on Abel to protect his brother’s memory. Abel understood what he’d been going through at the time, but the guilt lingered in Devlin’s heart and, now and then, crept forth into his eyes, his voice. “If it comes to that, we can hire him to find your parents. If that’s what you want to do.”
What if they found them and they were still the same? Still wallowing in drugs and alcohol…wasting away? Abel wanted to believe that they had gotten out of all that and made better lives for themselves. Sometimes it was easier not knowing. But what if they had changed? And had been wondering about their kids? It was a long shot and maybe Abel didn’t really believe that was the case, but a part of him needed to know.
“If we do that,” he said. “I don’t want Savannah to know until we find them. If they’re still the same, then I don’t want her to ever know that we looked them up. I will only tell her if they have changed and are better people interested in being a part of our lives.” He shook his head. “I don’t really expect that, so I won’t have any hopes dashed. But Savannah might get her hopes up. Or she may not want to find them at all. I just don’t want her to know for now.”
“Of course,” Devlin nodded. “Whatever you want, baby. We can do this quietly. We’ll perform our own search first, and if we can’t find them, then I’ll get in touch with Avery, see what he can dig up.”
Abel nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Don’t have to thank me, baby,” Devlin smiled and kissed him. “I live to please you.” He squeezed his hips and pulled him closer, snuggling their crotches. “In every way.”
“Mm.” Abel cinched his arms around Devlin’s neck. “Can that be in your vows?”
♦
Monday morning, Samuel stared across the large desktop at Nolan as the attorney stared blankly at the open file before him, his thoughts anywhere but on their work. Samuel just watched him in silence, actually intrigued by his behavior. Typically, it was impossible to get Nolan’s mind off work. Away from the office, the man remained mentally absorbed in the case, even while carrying on a conversation with others. But here they were, at work, and Nolan was clearly somewhere else. Very odd—yet incredibly interesting.
After a few moments, Nolan blinked a couple times and glanced up, caught in Samuel’s stare. Samuel smiled. “Welcome back.”
Nolan frowned. “What?”
Leaning back, Samuel tapped the end of his pencil on the desk and grinned. “Seemed like you went on a little mental vacation there for a while. Not that you’re not due for a vacation.” He continued to grin at the man. “Were you alone or…” he wiggled his eyebrows. “…did you take something sweet and sexy with you?”
The attorney’s cheeks warmed with a slight flush and he dropped his eyes to the open file and began sorting through the papers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he murmured, his professional tone taking over. “You’ve always had an overactive imagination.”
“And body,” Samuel nodded shamelessly. “So go on, share with the class. Where were your thoughts and who were they with?”
Nolan looked up dryly. “Why do you assume they were with anyone?” His stare was unwavering, but Samuel detected a teeny flicker behind it. That was enough to alert him that Nolan was merely “playing” cool.
Oh, a mystery, Samuel thought with delight. How fun.
“Because I’m quite familiar with that dazed and distracted state of mind,” Samuel explained. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the desk. “And it’s always linked to a…sexual interest.”
Nolan visibly flinched. Samuel had been fishing more than anything, but that little flinch in Nolan equated a tug on the fishing line that indicated he had a bite.
“Not everyone is as carnally minded as you, Samuel,” Nolan said and returned his attention to the papers. “People can have thoughts apart from sex.”
“They can,” Samuel smiled. “I suppose. I wouldn’t know.”
Nolan chuffed and nodded.
“But,” Samuel went on, and Nolan groaned. “There is a look that comes over a man’s face when he is thinking about sex…or at least thinking about the person he’d like to have sex with.” He bounced the eraser tip of his pencil on the desk. “So…come on. You can confide. I swear I won’t tell. Scout’s honor.”
Nolan snorted and the corner of his mouth quirked as he mumbled, “Like they would’ve ever let you in the scouts.”
Samuel chuckled. “Yeah, well, you’re probably right about that. But even so, I’m trustworthy. Come on, tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me.”
His head jerking up, Nolan stared at him incredulously. “Are we in fucking kindergarten? Is this how you’re going to approach a witness in court?”
“Maybe,” Samuel grinned. “It might be effective—annoy him into telling the truth.” Not that Samuel intended to make Law his lifelong career; he planned to be a chef, open his own restaurant. But at the moment, that was all irrelevant. Right now, he wanted to know just who was occupying Nolan’s thoughts. As far as Samuel knew—up till now, anyway—Nolan had no personal interests.
Nolan shook his head. “I’m sure the judge and jury would be quite impressed.”
“Do I hear sarcasm?” Samuel smirked. “Mister no-nonsense attorney getting snarky?”
Nolan rolled his eyes, a faint smile tweaking his lips. “Get back to work.”
“No, no.” Samuel leaned closer, his grin stretching. “You still haven’t confessed your wayward thoughts to me. Who is she? Do I know her? Does she know you’re having dirty lit
tle thoughts about her?”
“Oh my God,” Nolan groaned and looked at him, exasperated. “I wasn’t thinking about a woman, all right? Can we get to work?”
Samuel drew back, his grin relaxing into a lazy smile. “Okay. You weren’t thinking about a woman,” he mused. “So, in that case…who is he? Do I know him? Does he know you’re having dirty little thoughts about him?”
What was meant as a teasing joke took on substance when a sudden, distant anxiety pinched Nolan’s face, uncertainty shadowing his eyes. He looked away much too quickly and muttered—without humor—for Samuel to get back to work.
Samuel blinked. Oh my God…
Chapter 6
The same Monday that Abel contemplated searching for his parents and Samuel discovered a possible interesting fact about Nolan, Dane came to a conclusion of his own.
“You’re going to just show up at their door?” Angel asked doubtfully.
“Why not?”
Angel stared at him. “What if they haven’t changed?”
“Well, then, we’ll write it off as a little vacation and tour Nashville for a day before coming home,” he smiled.
“We?” Angel fidgeted as Dane grabbed a couple small suitcases from the closet. “You want me to go with you?”
“Hell yes, I want you to go with me,” Dane chuckled. “You think I’m going to go all that way all by my lonesome?”
Angel sat on the end of the bed. “How long is the flight?”
“Approximately two and a half hours, one way,” he said. “It’ll give me a little time to figure out what I’m going to say.”
“Won’t I distract you from your thoughts?”
Dane looked at him. “Actually, I was counting on you to help me get my thoughts together.”
Uncertainty pinched Angel’s stomach. “Are you sure they still live in the same place?”
Nodding, Dane gathered some clothes from the closet. “Yeah. I looked them up. But I figured they were still there. They owned the house we lived in and were pretty settled into that town.”