by CJ Bishop
“But it was your unconditional love for me that saved me…healed me.” A small, soft smile touched his lips as his eyes darted affectionally to Horatio. “Not without a co-conspirator.”
Devlin glanced at Horatio. Tears were thick in the man’s eyes as he gazed at the two of them. Devlin didn’t mind sharing the spotlight and the credit; if not for Horatio and his plan to “trap” Abel on the plane so he couldn’t run away, it may have taken Devlin much longer to catch Abel and convince him of his love.
“You are proof,” Abel said thickly. “Today is proof…that even the dreams you’re afraid to dream…can still come true.”
Chapter 8
“The grooms have written their own vows,” Pastor Thompson said. “Which they have chosen to recite together.”
Standing by Clint, Jules asked eagerly, “Now the rings?”
Soft chuckles sifted through the adults, and from amongst the guests, Adrian smiled and shook his head.
“No, not yet,” Savannah laughed quietly.
“Ah, man.” Jules sagged against Clint’s leg and Reuben copied him, leaning on Clint’s other leg.
“You can give them the rings in just a few minutes,” Savannah smiled.
Abel winked at the boy then looked at Devlin. “I think our ring bearers are about to revolt.”
“Then I guess we better finish this.” Devlin raised Abel’s hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles.
The pastor smiled and nodded. “You may recite your vows now.”
Nerves knotted Abel’s gut as he gazed into Devlin’s eyes. But the overwhelming love he saw there slowly began to ease his nervousness. The two men spoke their words together, as one.
“I believe in you, and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I promise faithfulness and patience, respect and lightheartedness, attentiveness and self-improvement. I will celebrate your triumphs, and love you all the more for your failures. Rich or poor, I will be yours, in sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my love and my life, today and always.”
Pastor Thompson added the final touches. “The vows you have taken are recognized by God, your family, and friends as a lifelong commitment to one another.” He looked at Devlin. “Do you, Devlin Grant, take Abel Sims to be your lawfully wedded husband, to faithfully uphold your vows taken, for as long as you both shall live?”
Devlin squeezed Abel’s hands, his throat working. “I do.”
Turning to Abel, the pastor recited again, “Do you, Abel Sims, take Devlin Grant to be your lawfully wedded husband, to faithfully uphold your vows taken, for as long as you both shall live?”
Abel trembled as his heart beat wildly, stealing his breath. He swallowed thickly and Devlin’s face blurred. “I do.”
Pastor Thompson smiled at the two little boys. “Now the rings.”
♦
Devlin felt like he would shake apart and prayed he didn’t drop the ring. He held Abel’s left hand gently as it trembled lightly against his fingertips. “Abel Sims, I give you this ring.” He swallowed trying to steady his voice. “That you may wear it as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. Vows that I see not as just promises, but as privileges.” He gazed into Abel’s soft amber eyes, glossy with tears. His heart beat faster, harder, as the significance of this moment struck him full force. “I pledge you my love, and respect. My laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.” Abel trembled as Devlin placed the ring on his finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
His hand shaking a little, Abel stared at the ring as if he, too, was just coming to the full realization of what today really meant for them. When they walked out of the club today, they would be married. Husbands. Together forever…and never to part.
Abel swallowed nervously as the pastor handed him the second ring. With his heart in his eyes and his love for Devlin resonating in his voice, he began. “Devlin Grant, I give you this ring, that you may wear it as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. Vows that I see not as just promises, but privileges.” He smiled through his tears. “I pledge you my love, and respect. My laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.” Abel gazed at him a moment, and as Devlin stared into his eyes, all that they had gone through…and survived…seemed to surface in his amber depths, a testament to the strength and perseverance of their love. “With this ring…” Abel slid the ring on Devlin’s finger, his throat working with emotion. “…I thee wed.”
Devlin and Abel each raised the other’s hand and kissed the rings. “This is forever, baby,” Devlin whispered. “No turning back.”
Abel smiled and a shot of heat flashed through his eyes that nearly buckled Devlin’s knees. “Never.”
♦
Freddy gripped the doorframe as those on stage embraced the couple that had just taken their vows. When the preacher cast him a discreet glance, Freddy drew back a little. His confusion mounted as he thought about the preacher coming outside and inviting him back in; had that been his sole purpose for coming out there? Why would he care if Freddy was present or not? He had almost fled the club altogether, but something in the pastor’s voice, the warmth in his eyes, had compelled Freddy to return and continue observing the ceremony.
How would his parents and Dane’s parents react to this wedding? To the undeniable love between the grooms as well as the guests? What would they think of an actual pastor officiating the ceremony? Freddy didn’t have to contemplate the answers to such questions. His family and church back home wouldn’t be here inside the club—they would be out there with the demonstrators, judging and condemning what they knew so little about.
As Freddy had done so often himself.
He watched the pastor speaking with the grooms and the best men as they prepared for the next couple. Would it be Dane and Angel? He considered joining the guests, taking a seat in the back. He had been invited by both Angel and Dane, he was welcome. But he couldn’t take that step and make his presence known. His internal confusion kept him rooted in place, hidden away. In the closet? The thought jolted Freddy. He really wasn’t ready to confront that part of himself—wasn’t ready to even admit that part existed.
The quiet envy returned, though, as he watched all these men openly expressing their love and affection for one another, without reservation…or shame.
Freddy couldn’t imagine being so comfortable and open in such a lifestyle. He stared at Dane. His cousin’s face glowed each time he looked at Angel. He was in love—for real—there could be no denying it, no twisting it into something ugly and disgusting. It was just love; pure and simple.
Dane had always been one to speak his mind, forge his own path. Freddy, on the other hand, had learned to conform, to be the ‘golden boy’ Dane had accused him of being. Of course, everyone praised Freddy and set him up as an example for others to follow—he played by their rules, always careful to walk inside the designated lines, never challenged or questioned their views and beliefs. He was the ideal son, nephew, church member; obedient and reverent.
Don’t forget deceptive and cowardly.
No one really knew him; no one but Dane. But now, even Dane didn’t remember who he was.
♦
I’m going to marry you one day. Grid’s words circulated around Nolan’s heart, causing it to pump faster and harder. He hardly knew the young man, yet Grid’s declaration was steeped in certainty and sincerity. Here at the club, witnessing this beautiful ceremony, it was easy to get caught up in the euphoria, start believing that all of this could be his, as well. But Nolan’s upcoming wedding would not feel like this. There would be no thrill and excitement. And his vows…they would be chains around his neck, around his heart, steadily tightening until he eventually expired.
&nb
sp; He watched Reuben with Jules and his heart broke again. Reuben had assimilated into this environment so quickly and seamlessly, his bond with Jules fusing immediately. He had no idea if either Reuben or Jules would turn out to be gay, but it seemed almost natural to imagine them growing up together, dating, even marrying. What a couple they would make, he thought with an increasing ache in his heart.
What a couple you and Grid would make.
Nolan would have never chosen someone like Grid. The young man was nothing like him and, in fact, reminded him of Samuel—whom he’d insisted would drive him crazy if they had to share a living space. Yet he found himself longing to give it a try with Grid, see where it took them. Despite this brief interlude of passionate encounters with Grid, it was temporary. Nolan wanted to have faith in Horatio’s attorneys, but they didn’t understand the ruthless people they would be going up against, or the power they wielded.
Grid continued to hold his hand but hadn’t said much since he’d insisted he was going to marry him one day. Had he said it on a whim? Nolan had yet to respond to it. Maybe Grid thought he had crossed the line and Nolan was now feeling uncomfortable. Quite the contrary. Nolan gave his hand a light squeeze and the hovering tension in the young man eased as he seemed to relax a little.
The need to ask Grid to spend another night with him was overwhelming. But Patrice would be coming by to pick up Reuben tomorrow. Nolan couldn’t risk getting caught with Grid. He was worried enough about Reuben relaying the events of his stay with Nolan. He would have a talk with Reuben, but his son was barely four-years-old…could Nolan even make him understand the importance of not repeating all this to his mother? He would surely be eager to tell her about his new friend…and that would likely lead to telling her other things.
“You okay?” Grid murmured with concern.
Nolan realized he was clenching Grid’s hand and relaxed his grip. He swallowed and let out a slow breath. “Yeah.” He looked at Grid, wanting to kiss him but refraining instead.
♦
“Why didn’t we go first?” Angel shifted anxiously.
Caleb chuckled. “You’ve danced on stage, practically naked, and this makes you nervous?”
“I didn’t have to talk when I was dancing,” Angel smiled. “I just had to shake my little booty.”
Dane groaned. “Don’t talk about that little booty until after we’re done here.”
“What’s the matter, brother?” Cole grinned and wrapped his arm around Dane’s shoulder. “Things turning blue down south?”
Dane whimpered, and Max laughed. “You’re not alone, baby.”
“No, you are not,” Devlin mumbled with a smile.
Sliding his arms around Devlin’s waist, Abel pressed his lips to his throat. “Soon, baby—soon.”
The glow on the faces of the two couples who had taken their vows calmed some of Angel’s nervousness. Dane hugged him and kissed his neck. “You’re not gonna cut and run on me, are you?”
Angel smiled and leaned back against Dane’s chest, pulling his arms tighter around him. “No way,” he smiled. “Where would I find another guy who’s so willing to cater to my every whim…and fantasy?”
Chapter 9
Cochise’s words—don’t be too quick to concede defeat—drifted to the forefront of Donald’s mind as he sat between John and the Egyptian. He glanced over to where Cochise and Kane were holding hands, and wished he could hold John’s hand, too. The wedding atmosphere made it more difficult for him to camouflage his feelings and emotions for John. He wanted to dance with John at the wedding—wanted it so bad it was twisting him up inside. If John danced at all, though, it would likely be with Zoe. He was afraid to ask either of them if there was something between them. Not knowing for sure made it a little easier to handle, even though he suspected they might be more than friends.
His encounter with Cochise in the kitchen yesterday gave him a sliver of hope that maybe the Egyptian was picking up on something with John that Donald wasn’t. Something that could maybe work in Donald’s favor?
Donald’s hand rested on his thigh just inches from John’s hand. Each shift of their bodies caused their arms and legs to brush against each other. John’s full attention was on the stage. But was he focusing on the ceremony…or Zoe, who remained behind the keyboard, providing soft background music?
Cochise stretched his arm across the back of Donald’s chair and rested his hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. A reassurance gesture?
“Zoe can play any instrument, can’t she?” John spoke up suddenly, startling Donald.
“Apparently,” Donald said quietly. His eyes shifted to Zoe. He felt no ill will toward her, and wouldn’t even if turned out that John liked her that way. She was a loyal and faithful friend, and he would never forget how she had laid at the foot of his bed, keeping watch over him, the night he’d been viciously raped. Jealous or not, he could never have bad feelings toward her.
“She has an upcoming gig in Boston,” John said. “She asked me to go with her. Colton still has his apartment in Boston and said she could use it while she was there.”
Donald looked at him; Zoe asked John to go away with her?
John fidgeted beneath his stare. “I mean…you can come, too. She was probably going to ask you, too. I think she’s just nervous about this gig and wants some moral support.”
His offer to include Donald felt weak and forced. “I’ll think about it,” Donald mumbled, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. When he fell silent, John looked at him, uncertain.
“What’s wrong?”
Donald forced a smile and shrugged. “Nothing.”
John stared at him doubtfully then turned his attention forward again.
The tension within mounting, Donald wondered how much longer he could go on living in the same house with John…especially if John and Zoe became an item.
Maybe it was time get back out on his own. He was over his fears of being alone, he could get another job, rent another apartment. Cochise, Kane, Zoe, and John—as well as Clint and Axel—had all become his family and he didn’t want to leave them—even if just meant moving back into the city—but he didn’t think his heart could take a daily dose of watching John give his love away to someone else.
Without realizing it, he leaned against Cochise. The man tightened his arm around his shoulders and silently pressed his lips to his hair.
♦
“The day you came to the club.” Dane held Angel’s hands as they stood before the preacher. “I had resigned myself to becoming a confirmed bachelor. It was Cole who said that one day an angel would swoop in and steal my heart, and there would be nothing I could do about it.” He blinked, his throat knotting. “A few seconds later…one did.” His vision blurred. “And you weren’t just an angelic vision. You were the real deal. A gift from God…sent to save my soul. You are unlike anyone I’ve ever known. I’ve watched you forgive transgressions that anyone else would have considered unforgivable.” His chin trembled. “I stand before you today…as one of those forgiven.”
Angel’s eyes filled and he gripped Dane’s hands.
“And I think I can speak for all those touched by your grace and compassion…we know the gift we’ve been given, the true miracle of that gift. And I’m going to say this, even though I know I may get in trouble for it later…I don’t deserve you or the perfect, beautiful love you embrace me with every day, and I never will. You will always be the better half of our whole, the true angel in this marriage.” He released a shaky breath as a faint smile touched his lips. “And I’ll totally understand if you spank me tonight for saying that.”
A ripple of amused chuckles rolled through the guests, resonating more heartily from the other grooms and best men.
Angel swallowed thickly, tears shimmering. “As long as you understand,” he said, inciting another round of quiet laughter.
Maddy and Caleb exchanged looks, doing their damnedest not to laugh out loud.
♦
I do
n’t deserve you…I never will.
Dane had, more or less, made light of his words by mentioning the ‘spanking’, but Angel knew he had meant what he said. Dane had let go of the crippling guilt of his past crimes against Angel, but one couldn’t actually forget. And because of that, Dane would never truly feel worthy of Angel’s love, regardless how fiercely Angel argued the issue. But Dane’s confession today wasn’t anything Angel hadn’t already known. And he had determined over three months ago, that he would love Dane, day to day, as the worthy man Angel saw him to be—knew him to be—not allowing him ‘down time’ to nurture his unworthy impression of himself.
“You can count on that spanking,” Angel murmured with a small smile. A thick sheen of tears remained, distorting his vision. “But just so you understand how deserving you are of that spanking, let me tell you a little something about you that you’re obviously overlooking. And if you argue with me…” Angel glanced at Maddy. “I’ll have Maddy kick your butt.” Maddy nodded.
Dane smiled and kissed Angel’s hands. “I don’t want any of that. So, no arguing. I promise.”
The pastor chuckled softly. “All right, Angel. You may begin.”
Angel briefly caught Max’s gaze and the older man smiled and nodded, tears in his eyes. Angel was aware that Max and Dane had a special bond and had been there for one another at a crucial time in both their lives. If not for Max, Angel wasn’t certain Dane would have made it through his and Angel’s trials.
Lacing his and Dane’s fingers, Angel spoke quietly. “I don’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t in hell.” He met Dane’s gaze, the dark depths shadowing a little more. “I was born into a bad dream that became a living nightmare. I couldn’t wake up from it, couldn’t fight the things that happened to me. I thought that Maddy and I would both die inside that nightmare…that hell.” He bit his lower lip and blinked, releasing a small stream of tears. “You call me a real angel. You say I saved you. But you saved me, too. You reached into hell and pulled us out…and woke us up from the nightmare.” His lips pressed tight and chin trembled. “I felt broken and dirty. But…but when you held me, I felt whole again. And when you looked at me, I felt…clean and beautiful. You didn’t just lift me out of hell…you made me new again.” Warm tears coursed down his cheeks. “You say you don’t deserve me. But, baby…” a shaky breath escaped him and he squeezed Dane’s hands. “I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that. You’ve more than earned your redemption…and my undying love.”