by CJ Bishop
Chris wrapped his arm around him and drew Noah against him. “It’s okay,” he murmured against his hair. “It can be overwhelming.”
Noah trembled beneath Chris’ strong arm, feeling safe and protected in a different way than he felt with Abel or Clint. “I wrote it down,” he choked quietly. “But I can’t read it out loud. And…and it doesn’t sound like a toast, it’s just…” he shrugged and leaned against Chris. “…stuff about what we went through when we lived in Chicago with our stepdad, and how it feels now…” tears rolled down his face. “…living here with our new family.”
“There’s no required formula for a toast,” Chris said softly. “Speaking from your heart and telling the person how you feel sounds like a pretty good toast to me.”
Noah hugged his gut tighter to keep from wrapping his arms around Chris.
“You said you wrote it down?” Chris asked.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have it with you?”
Noah nodded and took the folded paper from inside his jacket.
“If you want me to,” Chris said, “I’ll stand up there for you and read it to Abel.”
Noah raised his head slowly and looked at him.
“If you don’t want me to I’ll understand. I know these are your private thoughts and feelings, and if you don’t feel comfortable having me read them…”
“You would do that for me?” Noah whispered with a tremor, his heart thumping his ribs.
Chris smiled. “Hey, we’re pals, aren’t we? Pals stick together and take care of each other.”
He kissed Noah’s head, and though it was with pure affection and nothing more—Noah’s heart melted.
♦
When Noah returned to the table, his eyes were rimmed in red and tears lingered in his eyes. Noel stood up and hugged him tightly. The boys embraced for a few moments before sitting down.
Clint leaned over and cupped the back of Noah’s head. “You all right, son?”
Though he’d clearly been in tears, some of the tension and anxiety had faded from his face. “Yeah,” he whispered.
The boy had returned to the main room with Chris. Whatever the young man said to Noah seemed to have helped. “You and Noel feel up to accompanying me to the microphone?” Clint asked and winked. “I can beat up bad guys, but I’m kind of a chicken shit when it comes to public speaking.” He rubbed Noah’s head. “You don’t have to, though, I won’t shrivel up and die if I have to do it by myself.”
The twins smiled and laughed quietly. Noah looked uncertainly at Noel. The other boy nodded. Some of Noah’s nervousness returned, but he didn’t opt out. “Okay,” he murmured.
“All right then.” Clint looked at Seth and Carl. “You boys want to go first?”
The others around the table chuckled.
“No, no,” Carl grinned. “You show us how it’s done, cowboy.”
Clint grunted. “Come on, posse,” he told the twins. “Let’s do this thing.” He stood and stepped away from the table. Noah and Noel followed.
At the microphone, Clint looked over at Gabriel. “Don’t expect eloquence, boy.”
Gabriel grinned. “Aw, and I thought you were going to compose me a sonnet.”
Clint scowled, and the guests laughed.
“I see the big bad cowboy needed backup,” Cory smirked.
“Quiet, boy,” Clint growled. “Or I’ll take you over my knee.”
Cory’s smirk forged into a grin. “I thought that was Colton’s job.” He wriggled his brow at his boyfriend, and the guests laughed harder.
Clint shook his head slowly and chose to ignore the brat. Noah and Noel stood to his right, hovering close, as he began to speak. “I met Gabriel when he was eighteen. He came to us off the streets, a waif of a kid from nowhere. The instant bond of trust that formed between us and Gabriel was unprecedented in our world.” Clint stared at the young man. Though Gabriel hadn’t been cut out for the gangster life, he had nevertheless become one of their family the moment he set foot in the Sanitini home. “He became a son to Nathan—a worthy son—and to the rest of us…” he glanced at Cochise. “…a brother.”
The Egyptian wasn’t one for exhibiting emotion, but over the course of nearly two decades, Clint had learned to read the man quite well. He could interpret Cochise’s impression of a person by the simplest twitch in his expression. From Clint’s unique perspective, it was a given that the Egyptian loved Gabriel as a brother as deeply as Clint himself.
“Though we parted ways for a while,” Clint went on, “he never stopped being my brother—more important to me than any blood brother could ever be.” His half-brothers’ faces flickered fleetingly through his head; Lenny, Gary…Vincent. Each one of them had taken something precious from Clint. And each one had paid with their lives. Clint let their memories fade away; he had no use for them anymore. He cleared his throat. “Through Gabriel, I came to know the boys and men of the Phoenix, and through the Phoenix boys…” he shifted his eyes to Axel. “…I met the brat who stole my heart.”
Axel smiled sweetly, a cocky gleam in his eyes. For a very brief instant, Clint was propelled back to earlier in the alleyway beside the club…and the explosion of heat and passion that had consumed him and Axel.
He swallowed hard and focused before his body could demand more of the same. “And I met Cole, the man who stole Gabriel’s heart. And probably the only man who could put up with and manage a cocky wildcard like Gabriel.” He nodded at Cole. “Good luck with that.”
Cole grinned. “I’ll use the collar and leash from our gift box on him.”
Gabriel groaned low and mumbled, “Please.”
“You’ll need it,” Clint chuckled. He rubbed his mouth, his smile softening. “I know how much you love my brother,” he said sincerely. “The lengths you would go to protect him as well as make him happy.” Clint raised his glass. “And that…makes you my brother as well. I wish you both the best of everything.”
When Clint approached the couples’ table moments later, the twins went with him. Abel motioned Noah to him and spoke quietly with him, again assuring him that he didn’t have to make the toast. Noah hugged him for a long moment. On the way back to their table, Noah faltered halfway across the floor and glanced nervously at the microphone.
“Noah?” Noel stopped and looked at him.
Clint halted and stared at the boy. “You okay, son?”
Noah swallowed and nodded. “I…I want to do it.”
A small smile touched Noel’s lips. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he whispered unsteadily.
“Do you want us to come with you?” Noel asked.
Noah swallowed thickly, hesitated, then shook his head. “I’ll be okay.” He didn’t sound too sure but seemed to have made up his mind.
Clint cupped Noah’s neck and kissed his head. “You’ll do great.”
Noah smiled anxiously and glanced past him to where Chris was sitting. Clint followed his gaze. Chris smiled and winked at Noah, giving him an encouraging nod.
♦
Abel almost cried when Noah walked over to the microphone—alone. Chris’ support seemed to help Noah relax a little, but he was still clearly very nervous as he looked across the room at Abel. He reached inside his tux jacket and withdrew a folded note, started to open it, then simply gripped it in his hand instead. It took him a moment to find his voice.
“When I lived in Chicago…” his quiet voice shook. “…I was scared all the time. Scared because I knew I was all Noel had in the world, scared because he needed me to protect him…” His eyes lowered, filling with tears. “And scared most of all because…I couldn’t.”
Abel gripped Devlin’s hand as his throat closed and vision blurred. Though he was fifteen, Noah looked so much younger and vulnerable standing there, recounting fears that no kid should have to endure.
“When he ran away, I thought it was my fault…because I couldn’t protect him.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “And I was so scared something would ha
ppen to him out there, and I would never see him again.” His breath shuddered, and he ducked his head, biting his lip hard as his chin trembled. He released another shaky breath and looked up as more tears slipped free. “I begged God to help to us, to please not let me lose my brother. He was…he was all I had, too.” He wiped his face with a trembling hand. “I didn’t know if God cared, or if he was even real, but I…I didn’t have anyone else to go to.”
Sitting beside Clint, Noel was wrapped deep in the cowboy’s arms, his face buried in his shoulder, sobs shuddering through him. Abel leaned against Devlin, tears draining out.
“Sometimes…Noel would call me, and he sounded so scared and lost and alone, but…but he couldn’t come home…it wasn’t safe there. It wasn’t safe…anywhere.” He fell silent, his breaths quick and deep. “I prayed every day, all day, that God would do something. And then…” he trembled and fresh tears formed. “Abel called.” He ducked his head again, quiet sobs gripping him for a moment before he continued, his voice breaking. “I-I didn’t even know he existed, but then he was…he was just…there…and he saved us…took us to a real home and a real family who took us in and loved us like their own.”
Everywhere Abel looked, tears streaked the faces of the guests.
Cole cleared his throat and exhaled heavily. “Fuck,” he choked. “This kid is gonna be the death of me.”
“No shit.” Gabe swallowed thickly and wiped his eyes.
Noah looked at Abel. “I don’t care what those people outside the club were saying,” he cried softly. “I think you’re perfect. I think you’re all perfect. And…and I think God does, too.”
The instant Noah stepped back from the microphone, Noel left Clint and rushed out to him, throwing his arms around his brother, crying with him. Abel, Devlin, and the other couples went to him as well, engulfing both boys.
From the best man table, his voice thick with emotion and tears, Carl told Seth, “This is going to be a tough act to follow.”
Chapter 16
“Poor kids,” Cory murmured. “Life can be brutal.”
Axel nodded. He watched as Clint hovered protectively around the boys when they returned to the table, speaking to them in hushed tones. Gangster or not, you would make an awesome dad. All his life, Axel had never wanted kids—or to be married. But that was before he’d been inducted into the Phoenix family. Before he had fallen in love with Clint. Now, everything that had seemed so unappealing before was suddenly the focal point of his life.
He looked forward to having the twins stay with them while Abel and Devlin were on their honeymoon. If he were to be completely honest with himself…he wished the boys could live with them indefinitely. Other than himself, he’d never seen Clint bond with anyone so quickly and deeply. When he’d first met the cowboy, he would have never taken him to be a ‘kid’ person. Shit, he hadn’t taken him to be a ‘person’ person. Yet, Axel had discovered a very tender, compassionate heart beneath that rough exterior—with a special soft spot for kids.
I can’t wait to marry you and make a family with you. A part of him wondered if he should proceed with caution when it came to building a family with the cowboy, as Clint was still part of a dangerous world that—as Axel had found out the hard way—could have repercussions on those in Clint’s life. But the reality was—the world, in general, was a dangerous place. Angel, Abel, Caleb, the twins…they could all attest to that. No one was one hundred percent safe at all times. And now, both Axel and Clint could protect their family to a greater degree than most parents. And no ‘family unit’ inside this greater family circle was an island unto itself. In truth, wouldn’t a child be safer inside that formidable circle, than outside it?
“The man is a wonder,” Cory smiled, his eyes on the cowboy as well. “I’ve always been close to him and knew he had a soft heart in there, but until you came along…” he curled his arm around Axel. “I never saw him be so openly expressive with others.” He tightened his hold. “You’re a good influence on him.” He glanced at Cochise and Kane sitting on the opposite side of the table and lowered his voice, grinning. “Kane’s been a good influence, too. Before he came alone, I wasn’t even positive that Egyptian was entirely human.” He chuckled when Cochise cast him a narrowed-eyed glare. “Still not a hundred percent certain,” he snorted.
Axel laughed quietly as Cochise’s face twitched with annoyance.
♦
Seth and Carl approached the microphone together. Horatio took Max’s hand and caressed his thumb across the wedding band. “I kind of pity the boys having to go on last.”
Max chuckled. “Aw, they’ll do fine.”
As Max’s attention settled on the two young men, Horatio’s gaze rested on Max’s face. He was aware that the reality of this day hadn’t yet hit him and truly sank into his heart. He felt numb at the moment, but in a good way, as if they had all briefly entered that calm at the center of the storm where everyone was safe, and all was right in their world. Of course, the ‘calm’ would eventually pass, and other storms would rage from time to time, but right now—right here—life was truly perfect.
Horatio brushed his lips against Max’s ear. “I love you.”
A small smile slowly formed on Max’s face and he turned his head, softly kissing Horatio. “I love you, too.”
It had been a little over three months since he and Max had reconciled, spending nearly every day together since. An infinite number of I love you’s had passed back and forth between them during that time, yet the ones they shared today felt brand new as if they were saying it for the first time again.
Seth stepped up to the microphone first. “When I first met Horatio,” he said, “it was on the beaches of Cancun. Admittedly,” he smiled, “my first impression of him was that he was little more than a rich playboy.”
Max squeezed Horatio’s hand and chuckled softly.
“But I was pleasantly surprised to discover a beautiful heart within,” Seth added with deep affection. “I remember asking him what his first impression of me was.” Seth caught and held Horatio’s gaze. “He told me that I reminded him of someone; someone he used to know a long time ago.”
Horatio remembered that day as well, and how much it hurt to talk about Max back then.
“His next words, I remember exactly. He said – ‘that’s a compliment, trust me. He’s gorgeous, and the most amazing man you could ever meet.’ And when I asked Horatio if he was more amazing than Horatio himself, he said…by leaps and bounds.”
Beside Horatio, Max cleared his throat and raised Horatio’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly.
Seth smiled warmly at the two men. “When I was finally introduced to this great love of his life face to face…amazing wasn’t a strong enough word to describe the man standing before me.” Affection resonated on his face as he looked at Max. “I was honored that I reminded Horatio of him at all.” His smile stretched. “I remember telling Horatio that his Max loved him every bit as much as he loved Max. He asked me how I knew that. I told him…” Emotion thickened Seth’s voice. “If you can make me feel this way about you in just a few days…I can only imagine what you would do to a man’s heart after loving him for years.”
Tears formed in Horatio’s eyes; Seth was a gem. He had been, right from the start. Max looked at Horatio and smiled, eyes damp.
“The moment I met Max,” Seth said. “And I saw the way they looked at each other…I knew I was right. They had a love that couldn’t be denied, and which couldn’t be erased by trying to love another.” He shook his head, tears glistening. “There could never be anyone for either of them…but each other.”
♦
The warmth and affection with which Seth spoke about Horatio caused the tiniest sting of jealousy in Jamie, but it was more ‘reaction’ than the real thing. Jamie had felt intimidated and exceedingly jealous of Horatio while Seth was flying all over the world with him. Some of it had remained even after Seth came back and they’d started dating. It wasn’t until coming to Ne
w York for the wedding, meeting Horatio in person, that the last vestiges of his concerns were laid to rest. It took only seconds to understand what Seth had seen in Horatio—and even less amount of seconds to see how deeply in love Horatio was with Max. And whatever affections Seth continue to harbor for the man was purely as a friend, and well-deserved.
Grid nudged him and smiled. “You doing okay? Not getting jealous, are ya?”
Jamie rolled his eyes and smiled. “No.”
“Good.” Grid snaked his arm around his neck and hugged him close. “’Cause that boy out there is head over heels crazy about you, and don’t you ever doubt it.”
“I know,” Jamie laughed softly. And he did. Seth never let him forget how much he cared for him or how much he desired him. Even during their VIP experience with Ricky and his boys, there had been no sense of jealousy. He had been enjoying that experience with Seth, and it had greatly heightened their passion for one another. Jamie wondered if every couple was like that? If they could share themselves with others—as a couple—and still maintain their own healthy relationship. He suspected some couldn’t, and he understood. He was glad that he and Seth could, though. It had startled him how turned on he had been by watching the other boys work Seth over.
Heat seeped through Jamie’s loins, and his face flushed a little when he glanced toward Ricky’s table, and the other boy smiled and winked at him. He returned a hesitant smile and looked away, focusing on Seth.
He hoped the foursome’s party was still on; all of the sudden, he couldn’t wait for him and Seth to play with them again.
♦
Seth gave up the microphone to Carl and stepped back with a smile, giving him a ‘good luck’ pat on the shoulder. Max gazed at Carl with fondness and affection. He had been there for Max through a rough time, sticking by his side even when he knew he had no chance at truly claiming Max’s heart. Yet the young man had taken a piece for himself and Max didn’t wish for it back.