by Maree, Kay
“Shit, I’m so sorry.” When I finally look up, I come face to face with a smiling Sean. He’s a regular here, he comes in a couple of times a week. I think he has a thing for Nina, a girl who comes in at the same times he does. I don’t think their being here at the same time is an accident. I see the way he watches her and I’m pretty sure she knows as well.
“I’m so sorry, Sean, I wasn’t paying attention.” I shake my head and laugh but when he opens his mouth to respond, a deep growl from behind cuts him off.
“You wanna get your hands off my woman?”
X’s deep voice slides over me and my traitorous body hums in approval. I wanna kick my own ass for the way it responds on just hearing his voice and then what he’s said dawns on me
“I’m not....” I’m start to say until Sean drops his hands and takes a step back.
I note the angry look of possessiveness in X’s eyes and think better of saying anything when he holds his hand up to stop me talking. What in the actual fuck! I swore to myself I would never allow anybody to treat me like a doormat again.
“Xavier, I’m not your fucking woman!” I slam my hands on my hips.
Without taking his eyes off Sean, he speaks in a low gravelly tone which has my nipples hardening.
Damn him!
“I thought I made myself quiet clear last night, Sweetness.” He lifts an eyebrow in question.
I open my mouth to tell him I hadn’t agreed to be his, even though I think it may be a wasted effort when Sean speaks first.
“Sorry man.” He turns to face X with his arms raised.
“Sean,” X says.
“X-man. Shit mate, I didn’t realise she was yours, but she ran into me and almost fell. I only reached out so she wouldn’t hurt herself.” He rubs the back of his neck, looking a little anxious.
“Bloody men,” I grumble.
Not caring about the pair of them as X walks over to shake Sean’s hand, I have no interest in what the hell they are saying and take it as my cue to leave.
“Ally!” X calls out but I don’t stop.
I pick up my pace and keep walking.
I hear his footsteps behind me and don’t say a word when he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side. Instead, I try not to melt into him as we keep heading towards the beach. I hear him breathe me in before he plants a kiss to the top of my head. A smile curves my lips at the action.
“It’s been a long day, Sweetness and I couldn’t wait to see you.”
“Xavier, you can’t just show up at my work and start beating your chest claiming I’m yours cause another man...”
“Like fuck, I can’t,” he growls. We reach the beach and he stops dead in his tracks pulling me to a stop with him. I tilt my head back to look into his face. “I’ve been craving your touch all day and the minute I get you in my sights, I find another fucker has his hands on you.”
“He’s a friend,” I defend but I’m not sure why.
“I get that but your touch....” He pauses, blows out a deep breath and runs one hand through his hair. Bringing it down, he cups my cheek in the palm of his hand and I lean into the warmth of his touch. Locking eyes with him, it’s like he’s fighting for control but I see the moment he lets go and he leans down and brushes his lips over mine. I feel the warmth of his breath whisper over my cheek when he pulls back and starts speaking again. His voice has become deeper and my blood pumps faster through my veins as delicious tingles run up and down my spine
“Your touch is like Braille and I’m a blind man reading everything for the first time and it’s just for me. Every time you touch me, it imprints on me even more. It’s like you’re writing our memories into my skin and I don’t want to share that with anyone.” He growls out the last part and I suck in a deep breath.
Oh, damn this man.
Releasing my breath, I stay quiet, not sure how I should respond. It seems to be a common problem I have when I’m around him. He just keeps knocking me for six and I’m not sure how much longer I can fight these feelings.
Closing my eyes, I tilt my face towards the sky and breath in the mixture of salt air and Xavier’s intoxicating scent, letting it simmer through me. I feel the light breeze move past me and swirl in my hair. I try to centre myself to this moment in time. I never want to forget the words he has just spoken to me. They were the most romantic words I’ve ever had said to me. I let them work through every cell in my body until they reach my heart and for the first time in what feels like forever, my heart doesn’t feel paper thin.
Feeling the lightest touch to my cheek, I open my eyes and I’m trapped in the ocean blue depths of his eyes. They shine as the sun bounces off them, so clear and full of emotion.
“You don’t know how gorgeous you are, do you?” His husky words throw me off kilter yet again.
I shake my head in response.
“Good.”
He slides his fingers over my cheek to my throat and I feel the weight of his hand as his thumb moves in slow circles over my pulse point. I shiver under the possessive hold. It’s not tight, just enough to know he’s in control. I melt into his touch.
Licking my lips, I watch as he tracks the movement with his eyes and the deep rumble of his low growl vibrates through me. My body is pressed hard against his.
“Why?” I gasp as heat pools low in my belly and my clit starts to ache. I squeeze my legs together to ease the ache, but it’s no use I’m lost to every feeling this man creates inside me.
“Because all you have to do is walk past a man and he can’t take his fucking eyes off you, babe.” He wraps his free arm around my waist and slides his hand to my ass, giving it a squeeze.
I bite back the moan which is desperate to escape and try to break the sudden tension that has settled thick in the air around us before I break every single rule I have ever made myself and climb his sinful body like a tree.
“Walk on the sand with me,” I whisper while looking up into his eyes.
Bending over, he brushes his lips over mine. I lick my lips to transfer his taste onto my tongue. He pulls back and nods. Releasing his hold from around my neck, he keeps his arm wrapped around my waist and we head down the concrete steps to the sand.
CHAPTER NINE
Ally
As I stir the life out of my coffee, I stare through the kitchen window. Dark clouds roll in, taking over the beautiful clear blue sky I’d woken up to an hour ago. Even with the crappy weather, I smile when I think about the week which has passed. It’s been a crazy whirlwind that I never pictured happening to me.
After the beach incident on Tuesday, Xavier met me at work every day and we walked down to the beach. Sometimes we talked about our day - small things you know, nothing too heavy. But, yesterday, no words were spoken as we walked along the beach and soaked everything in. I know no matter what, he always had his arm around me or was holding my hand. It’s like he couldn’t be near me without some form of contact. I’m starting to crave his touch as much as he seems to need mine.
When I finished work, he was there to take me to dinner. As each day passes, it becomes harder to tell him no. Last night we didn’t have dinner together although he wanted me with him. Having dinner with him is one thing, having it with his parents is a completely different ball game which I don’t think I’m ready for. So instead, he ended up texting me all night when he should have been concentrating on spending more time with his mother.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I look at the clock on the wall above the fridge. I watch as the second-hand ticks away, reminding me I need to leave shortly to go and see my mother. My stomach twists at the thought and my heart beats louder in my ears. I’m not sure I want to burst the bubble I seem to be living in these days. I’m hoping today is a good day and I can get in out of there unscathed so I can come home and get everything ready for tonight. Xavier is coming over and I’m planning on cooking him dinner. The stubborn man refuses to allow me to pay when we go out so, this is my way of saying thank you. A th
rill runs through me just thinking about having him in my space tonight. Again, I hope I’m making the right decision about him because I don’t think I can fight this attraction any longer.
I stand staring up at the two-story house which brings back the nightmares from years ago. Taking a deep breath, I make my way towards the front door and push it open I hold my breath to reduce the stale smell and pick up the empty alcohol bottles lining the hallway as I make my way towards the sound of the television that’s blaring in the lounge room. I expect to see my mother sitting in her chair but it’s empty. I look around the dimly lit, smoky room but she’s not here. Maybe she’s upstairs or has gone out.
I ignore the fact she’s not here and continue picking up bottles and emptying the ash tray beside her recliner. I don’t hear her come downstairs as I head for the back door to take out the rubbish.
“Ally, is that you?” Her voice is slurred and I have to bite back the irritation I feel at hearing it. Pushing everything back to the recesses of my mind, I call back as I open the back door.
“I’m just taking the rubbish out.”
I listen for a response but hear nothing. I do what needs to be done before heading back inside. When I reach the kitchen, I’m faced with dishes piled up over the benches and sink. I shake my head, it’s always the same. Fuck knows how long they’ve been sitting there, probably since the last time I was here.
I run the water and as I open the cupboard under the sink to grab the washing detergent, I hear her stumble into the kitchen. I cringe when she knocks over one of the chairs at the dining table, but quickly wipe the disgusted look off my face before I look over at her. No point giving her any reason to start her shit today. Just do as you planned, Ally get in and out as quick as you can. I keep repeating the words to myself as I start to wash the numerous cups lining the bench.
“Why the fuck are you so happy?” She snarls and I look up from what I’m doing.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re fucking humming.” She spits out the words like humming is the worst thing in the world.
Just a little bit longer, Ally. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Do not show this woman any emotion.
“I w-wasn’t,” I stammer, annoyed with myself for allowing her to intimidate me.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, you bitch!”
“I..I..I....” I stumble over the words, not sure what to say so I eventually shut my mouth. Then, without thinking I blurt, “I meet someone.” I slam my mouth shut. I can’t believe I told her. I wait for the nasty shit to fall from her mouth and I’m surprised when it’s dead silent. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as a million emotions flash over her face before an ugly sneer settles in place.
“You little slut as if any man would be interested in a selfish little bitch like you!”
There is so much malice and hate in her voice and I cringe at the power she has to hurt me deeply. No matter how many times I tell myself that her words mean nothing to me, it’s all a lie. I feel a bite of pain slide up my arm and wince. Looking down I notice I have picked up a knife by the blade and squeezed my hand around it.
“Shit!” Dropping the knife, I move towards the roll of paper towel attached to the wall near the fridge. I tear off several sheets and quickly wrap it around my hand to stop the blood, but it’s no use, the blood soaks the paper and crimson droplets hit the floor. My mother continues her vicious taunts, my eyes mist over and although I close them to stop myself crying, tears slide freely down my cheeks. She goes on and on, her voice rising with every sentence.....
“No one could ever love someone like you.”
“You’re in dreamland if you think you’re worth anything at all!”
“Such a selfish cow!”
I can’t take it anymore and let out a scream which rocks me to my core. There are so many things racing through my head and I can’t stop the words as they pour out of my mouth.
“Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!” My breathing is short, coming in pants and even though I try hard to get more air into my lungs, I’m struggling.
“You are nothing!” I scream but don’t stop there “You think I don’t live this nightmare every fucking day or every fucking time I come here? But, instead of us dealing with this together and helping each other, you waste your time on getting so drunk you’re lucky if you make it upstairs. You’re a waste of space and I deserve better.” I throw everything I have into my words, hoping she can feel the hate I have for her. Taking up the space between us quicker than I thought possible in her state, she gets up into my face and shoves me into the wall. My back hits the paper roll attached to the wall and breaks away. I'm amazed at her strength.
“You’re a weak and worthless, bitch. What have you done in your life that was so great? Don’t you dare judge me, you took away my only reason for living. Don’t you dare fucking come here and wave in my face how happy you are. That shit is a dream. This...” She waves one hand around. “.... is your reality and you need to get that through your thick fucking head. Nobody could ever love somebody like you.” She spits and it washes over my face, the stench of her alcohol laden breath makes my stomach roll.
I push her away in anger. “Get out of my face and don’t ever touch me again. You’re the worthless one. Even when dad was alive you never gave him what he needed.” As the words leave my mouth, I feel the sting to the side of my face as she hits me. I raise my injured hand to rest against the tingling, burning pain of my cheek. I watch as she turns, stumbles over her feet but catches herself on the bench then, straightens and makes her way towards the lounge room.
Tears are coming fast and furious now, I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m done. I send a prayer up to my dad and tell him I’m sorry because I will never come back to this house again. This is not my home, it hasn’t been for a very long time and personally, I don't give a shit what she does with her life. I hope this house of horrors burns to the fucking ground.
CHAPTER TEN
Xavier
I park the car and re-read the text message. Ally informed me about an hour ago that dinner was off and she couldn’t see me again. If she thinks she can blow me off with a text message she has another thing coming. I deserve to know why she has done a complete one eighty on me since last night.
I run a frustrated hand through my hair and squeeze the back of my neck, trying to ease some of the tension which has settled there. Last night at dinner was fucking hard as shit. It seems mum is worse every time I visit and it’s taking its toll on my dad. The only thing which helped me shut my brain off and get some sleep was knowing I would see my girl today.
Slamming my palm against the steering wheel of my truck it feels like everything is falling to fucking pieces. This past week with Ally has been one of the best I have had in a very long time and I’m not going to let her walk away without putting up a fight. With that settled in my mind, I climb from my truck and make my way up the path until I reach the front door. I study the intercom panel next to the glass doors and try to work out which apartment is hers. Out of a choice of thirty buzzers, I see an A. Stevens and an A. Malone. That’s not bad odds. I push A. Malone first and wait anxiously for an answer. A smile breaks over my face when I hear her voice, but I frown at the sadness which coats her words.
“Hello,” she murmurs.
“Sweetness, let me in.” I try not to sound too demanding.
“Xavier?”
“Yeah, babe. Open up, we need to talk.”
“X I-I don’t th-think that’s a good idea.” She stammers and I swear I hear tears in her voice causing my heart to twist in my chest.
When I look through the glass door and see a girl coming down the stairs, I decide I’m sick of standing outside waiting, checking the apartment number next to Ally’s name and wait for the chick to open the door.
I take the stairs two at a time, hurrying up to the fourth floor. When I find apartment 4b, I pause to compose myself before I break the fucking door down
. Placing both palms against the wooden door frame, I let my head fall forward and take a few deep breaths. Rolling my head on my shoulders to loosen the tension, I try to calm down. Then, I hear what sounds like quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door and my control snaps. Knocking lightly, so as not to scare her, I wait a few seconds before knocking again. I’m worried she won’t open the door, but I hear the shuffle of feet and a sniff before she speaks.
“Mr. Samson, I’m fine you don’t need...” she trials off when she opens the door and finds me standing outside.
I’m not sure who this Mr. Samson is, but I’ll deal with that later. Right now, I need to soak her in from head to toe. I take in her donut covered pajama pants and have to bite my lip so I don’t laugh at how cute they look. A white singlet top is stretched tight across her chest and I bite back a growl when I notice her nipples are hard.
“Xavier,” she chokes out.
I snap my eyes to hers and grip the door frame harder, hearing it crack under my weight. What the fuck! Why the fuck does she have a black eye? And, there is a cut on her cheek bone which has been taped up. When I study her closer, I see her hand is also bandaged.
“Who the fuck did this to you?” Anger laces my voice and I feel it prickle my senses. My muscles lock, ready to kill the motherfucker who hurt my girl.
Without a word, she throws herself at me and without thinking about it, I catch her. I wrap my arms around her and feel her body shuddering as she cries into my neck. Lifting her into my arms, I step into her apartment and kick the door closed behind me. I head straight for the lounge and sit with her held close to my chest. She curls into a ball in my lap and I rub my hand over her back in a soothing motion. I lower my head and breath in her sweet scent before planting a kiss on her forehead, reassuring her I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
I’m not sure how long we sit quietly with me rubbing her back, but eventually her crying stopped and her breathing slowed. At one point I thought she might have fallen asleep, but then I felt her fingers running lightly over my chest. I had to shift her position when I felt myself getting hard as stone, it was becoming uncomfortable. Lowering my face into the top of her hair, I grit my teeth and allow her scent to soothe some of the ache in my balls. It only makes it worse.