by Maree, Kay
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” I run my hand over her back.
She opens her mouth to speak but I shake my head, needing her to listen to what I have to say and she needs to rest her throat. I haven’t missed the winces she tries to hide when she speaks. I place a finger to her lips.
“You didn’t ask for any of this to happen and you didn’t make your bitch of a mother the way she is, she did that all on her own.” I pat my chest. “Lay your head here, close your eyes and try and get some rest.”
I find myself needing to hold her, to feel her warm breath against my chest, to be soothed and reassured that she’s alive. Laying her head against my chest, the vibration of her hum as she gets comfortable, settles me.
“X?” she whispers sleepily.
“Hmmm?”
“Thanks for being here, it means a lot to me.”
“Always, Sweetness.” I run my hand up and down her side before settling my hand on her hip when her breathing begins to even out.
After Ally fell asleep last night, I waited for the guys to come back with coffee to let them know they could leave. The girls moaned about wanting to stay, but finally agreed it was probably best to leave so Ally could rest. They left promising they’d be back today.
Rubbing my face, I lean back in the shitty plastic chair, stretch my arms over my head and roll my neck to stretch out the kinks which have settled there. A deep breath escapes my lungs. Nurse Georgia came in about an hour ago and took Ally to get some tests done. I wasn’t allowed to go with her which irritated the fuck out of me. Georgia assured me she wouldn’t leave Ally’s side so, after an internal battle, I finally relented saying I would be right here when they came back.
“Why don’t you go home and get cleaned up?” Ally had suggested, concern washing over her words.
“I’m fine, Sweetness. I’ll wash up in the bathroom and wait for you to come back.”
She shook her head in disapproval, but I didn’t miss the smile which tugged at her lips before she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.
I felt a growl rumble up my chest and squeezed my fists at my sides. I gritted my teeth and after taking several deep breaths, I managed to calm myself enough to place a kiss on her forehead. When she opened her mouth to argue with me again, Georgia reminded her, they needed to go.
So, now, after washing my face, I sit here staring through the window while I wait. Watching as the blue sky tries to fight through the heavy dark clouds which are liberally scattered about. I’m worried by the ominous feeling which has settled in the pit of my stomach.
“What did we miss? Where’s Ally?”
I swing my head around to see a concerned Erica enter the room with the rest of the guys close behind.
“The nurse took her downstairs so they could run some tests.” I get to my feet.
“How are you doing this morning?” she whispers in my ear as she gives me a hug.
“I’ll be a lot better when I get to take my girl home.”
When Erica releases me from the hug, Justin pats me on the back with his free hand and hands me a brown paper bag and a coffee from the other.
“We brought you a coffee and chocolate chip muffin, the girls are worried you aren’t eating enough.” He gives me a sheepish grin and shrugs.
“I stopped on the way and grabbed you a change of clothes, brother, while the girls gave your place a quick clean.” Beau chuckles and hands me my gym bag.
I raise my eyebrows in confusion, wondering why the fuck they would bother, my place is usually pretty clean.
Cynthia steps up to give me a quick hug. “There were a few dirty dishes in the sink and clothes on the bathroom floor, it wasn’t anything major. Erica washed the dishes while I threw a load of laundry on.” She shrugs before going on. “I assume Ally will be going back to your place once she’s released so, we thought we’d take care of it so you can just focus on Ally.”
I’m blown away that they would do all this for me.
A grunting sound comes from behind me which I’m assuming is from Justin, but fuck if he has anything to worry about. The only woman I’ll ever need or want is Ally. Fuck, she’s the love of my life. Brushing away his jealousy, I turn and look at each of our friends while trying to work out what I can say that could convey how I feel and how much they mean to me.
“Thank you,” I murmur, knowing it’s not enough but I’m fucking speechless.
Turning, I take the few steps to the bedside table and put the coffee and muffin down before heading towards the attached private bathroom to change out of my dirty clothes, lifting my shirt to my nose as I go. I’m thankful for what they have done for both of us. Now, I need the test results to come back with the all clear so I can take my girl home and everything will be right in my world once again.
Making quick work of my dirty clothes, I throw on a pair of clean dark-wash jeans and the grey long sleeved Henley from the bag before looking in the small mirror above the sink. I run a hand over my unshaven jaw wondering if I should shave. The phone ringing from the floor distracts me. Reaching down, I pull it from the front pocket of my discarded jeans before throwing them back to the floor. I flip the phone over in my hand to see dad’s name flash up on the screen.
“Hey dad, what’s up?”
Heavy breaths come down the line but he doesn’t say anything.
“Dad?” I become concerned he’s rung me without realising.
“Son,” he chokes out in a gravelly voice soaked in emotional pain which has the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
I grip the sink in front of me, waiting for what he has to tell me.
“Your mother.”
His voice breaks like glass and the shards shred my heart when he manages to get the next words past his lips.
“She didn’t wake up this morning, I called the ambulance and we’re on our way to the hospital.”
His voice cracks on the last word and the frailty I hear in my father almost brings me to my knees.
“I, um-um.” I squeeze my eyes closed as cool tears slide unchecked down my face. Taking a deep breath, I try to get words to pass my lips but it’s a struggle. “Okay,” I manage hoarsely. It’s all I’ve got at this moment. My throat is dry, my chest tightens and muscles tense. I guess it must be enough when he repeats the word before ending the call.
I grip the porcelain bowl of the sink in both hands and bow my head as an onslaught of emotions slams into me. I have nothing left in me to keep me standing, I’m so fucking tired. Falling to my knees, the phone crashes to the floor. I rest my head against the sink and let the emotions consume me. The intensity all but chokes me, my shoulders heave, my breaths come in choppy pants and my sight is blurred with thick tears which refuse to stop.
“What happened, brother?” Beau’s voice floats around me as if I’m in a tunnel.
Squeezing my hands hard on the sink, I hear the porcelain creak as it fights against the hold of the tiles on the wall. Sucking deep breaths in, I let them out slowly through my nose, trying to calm myself down, but it’s fucking hopeless.
“X-man, talk to me, brother.” Beau’s voice doesn’t seem so far away now.
I open my mouth and try to speak, but nothing wants to come out.
“Just breath, mate.” A hand squeezes my shoulder and I try to follow his instructions. “Mate, ease up a little on the sink, you’re gonna pull the fucker off the wall.” A worried chuckle leaves his throat, he’s becoming clearer now.
Loosening my hold just a little, I try again to speak.
“Mum,” I get out before a sob tears through my throat.
“Fuck, what happened?”
“She wouldn’t wake up this morning. I need to get down to ED. They’re bringing her in by ambulance.” Words tumble from my lips now as urgency overtakes me.
“Shit, okay we got this, mate. I’ll get Erica and the others to stay here and wait for Ally while we go down there together.” He squeezes my shoulder again.
Nodding is
all I seem to be capable of right now as my gut twists for completely different reasons. I promised Ally I’d be here when she got back from her tests.
“Listen I’ll let Erica know and give you a minute,” Beau murmurs before leaving the bathroom letting the door close with a soft click that seems to echo around me.
Sucking back the gut-wrenching emotion, I grab the phone from the floor and pull myself to my feet. After a few deep breaths, I flip the tap on the sink and splash cold water on my face. I need to be strong right now. For my dad. For Ally. There will be plenty of time to break down later, right now I need to summon whatever strength I have left and push forward. My dad is going to need me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Ally
“Are you nearly ready to go home?” Nurse Georgia approaches the side of my bed, she’s way too bright for this time in the morning.
With effort, I plaster a smile on my face and answer. “Yeah.”
“Well, don’t sound so enthusiastic. Someone might think you actually don’t want to leave us,” she chuckles.
“I do, it’s just been a long week.”
I sigh as Cynthia walks through the door with JT by her side and glance at the clock on the wall to see it’s 8am. “You guys are here early.”
“We figured, the sooner we got here, the sooner we could take you home.”
She smiles at me, comes to a stop beside the bed, bends and gives me a hug.
“How are you doing, little man?” I ask JT.
“Really good. Mum let me have the day off school. She said since I’ve been such a good boy this week, she’s going to buy me a new PS4 game.” He beams a huge smile and looks up at his mother with hopeful eyes.
“Really! That’s awesome, what game are you going to get?”
Swinging his eyes to mine he shrugs. “Not sure yet, there are a couple I want.”
“Of course, there are,” I laugh, only wincing a little bit at the action.
The doctor told me yesterday that my throat may still hurt for another week or so, but my tests came back clear and I was allowed to go home as long as I promised to take it easy for the next couple of weeks.
“The doctor should be in shortly with your discharge papers then you’re good to go,” Nurse Georgia said.
“Thank you,” I reply, eager to get out of here.
“Why did you call me to pick you up? Not that I mind, but where is X?” Cynthia asks.
A lump forms in my throat for my man.
“X’s dad called late last night and asked if he could help him with the funeral arrangements for his mum this morning.” My eyes glaze over and the words sound watery to my own ears. I bite my lip to stop the tears from falling, but it’s no use, one escapes to trickle down my cheek. My heart feels heavy in my chest as guilt rides hard down my back knowing he was here with me and not with his mother.
“Fair enough.” Cynthia stares through the window, sadness in her gaze, no doubt remembering how heartbroken X looked two days ago.
“When is the service?” she whispers.
I check on JT and make sure he’s good before I speak. He’s taken a seat against the far wall, pulled out his 3DS, popped his earbuds in and has immersed himself in his game. Satisfied he’s occupied, I answer.
“Thursday at 10am.”
Cynthia opens her mouth to say something before a voice comes from the door and Dr. Vargas walks in with what I assume are my discharge papers in his hand.
“Miss Malone, everything seems to be in order and you’re ready to leave us. Remember, take it easy for a couple of weeks. You’ll feel weak but your strength will slowly return over time. Apart from that, there shouldn’t be any other issues.”
“Thank you for everything, Doctor.” I push the blankets off my legs and swing my feet over the edge. Trying to go slow as my sock covered feet touch the floor, I blow out a small breath and try to gear myself up to move off the bed. I hate how bloody sluggish my body feels. It will only be my second time out of this bed in a week. The first time, X was here to help me. When he took me for a short walk last night, his arm was wrapped around me for support and he watched every step I took.
“Let’s get you changed.” Cynthia grabs the bag she packed for me from the floor and pulls out some clothes before helping me to my feet. Once I’m steady, she helps me to the bathroom.
“Do you need me to help you change?”
I shake my head, feeling like shit that she thinks she needs to help me.
“I don’t mind,” she says softly, nothing but sincerity coating her words.
“I should be fine, but I’ll call out if I need help.”
“Okay.” She opens the door and places my clothes on the closed lid of the toilet seat before walking out and closing the door behind her.
After stripping off the hospital gown, I grab my clothes off the toilet lid and throw them on, pulling my grey sweatshirt on over my bra. I stare at my black leggings, not sure if I have the strength to put them on standing up and I would probably fall on my ass if I lean against the wall. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I sit on the closed toilet lid and tug them on. Gripping the sink, I pull myself up and shimmy them the rest of the way over my ass. Still gripping the sink, I lean over, grab the hospital gown and pop it in the bin provided. Looking into the mirror, I run my hands through my unruly hair and despair that I now have permanent bed hair! Frustrated that it’s not doing what I want, I pluck a hair tie from the shelf above the sink and throw it up in a messy bun on top of my head. It’s just gonna have to do until I get home, have a shower and wash it.
Pushing the door open, I take a few slow unsteady steps into the room, pushing a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.
“Okay let’s get...” I stop dead in my tracks and my heart flutters in my chest as Xavier strides into the room, as large as life.
He’s wearing a pair of worn blue denim jeans and a black hoodie with Xtreme Ink written across the front in white. I take a deep swallow so I don’t drool at the sight. He is sporting a short beard, he hasn’t shaved for the past week and his dark hair is messy but sexy as fuck. His blue eyes drop to my feet and slowly track up every inch of my body. When they finally meet mine, a sexy smirk curls his lips and a look of primal hunger reflects in his eyes shooting want straight to my core.
“What are you doing here?” I wonder out loud, my voice shaky.
I struggle to get my body to behave.
“Babe, I’m here to take you home. Did you think I wouldn’t be here?” His deep voice rumbles straight through me.
I clench my fists at my sides as he cocks a dark eyebrow, daring me to argue with him. I can’t and don’t want to stop the smile spreading over my face, but then it falls just as quick knowing he should be with his dad.
“I called Cynthia so you could help your dad and not have to worry about me.”
“I will always worry about you, Sweetness, and no-one except me is taking you home. How many times am I going to have to keep telling you, when it comes to your health, I’m in charge? Now, let’s get your stuff together and get the hell out of here.”
While he speaks he closes the distance between us and wraps his arms around my waist. I lay my hands flat against his chest and gaze up into his calming blue eyes. I notice they’re a little bloodshot thanks to so many sleepless nights. I melt into his warm touch, feeling centered for the first time since last night.
Bending down, he plants a light kiss to my forehead before his lips linger over my now sensitive skin. His warm breath washes over my face and the hint of coffee lingers around me.
“This helps.” He whispers so only I can hear him. “Holding you grounds me and settles the raging emotions running rampant through me.”
With my hands pressed to his hard chest, I push up on my toes and brush my lips over his, knowing exactly what he means.
“You help me breathe,” I whisper across his lips and my voice catches on the last word.
Before I can suck down my next breath, his li
ps crash against mine, making my head spin. What I thought would be a hard and commanding kiss turns out to be the complete opposite. His lips seem to entice mine and conjure them to open as he runs his warm tongue across my bottom lip. I hum in the back of my throat when one of his hands twists into my messy bun and holds me in place, but not too hard that it frightens me. I know I could break free at any moment, but I don’t think my body would let me even if I wanted to. Instead, a whimper slips free when his tongue glides across mine. My fingers gently twist into his messy hair and my nails scrap across his scalp. Time is lost as we soak each other in. Bursts of colour flash behind my closed lids and my body presses harder into his, wanting the safe warmth of his body to surround every inch of me. Pulling back after what feels like hours but was probably only a couple of minutes, we try to catch our breaths. Panting softly, my eyes flutter open, not wanting this all-consuming moment to end. I tuck my head under his chin.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathes into my ear.
I burrow my head into his chest, letting the steady beat of his heart settle me.
“I’ve missed you, too,” I murmur.
I’m worried he may not have heard me, but he squeezes me tighter, answering my unspoken question.
“Well, since you guys are good, I think I’ll take little Mister here to get his game.” Cynthia’s voice breaks into our moment.
Looking over my shoulder, I feel the heat blaze in my cheeks. I was totally lost in the moment and had forgotten she was still in the room.
“Sorry,” I mouth to her.
“It’s fine. JT is too wrapped up in his game to have noticed, but I might need to get a cold drink on the way out,” she laughs and waves a hand in front of her face, a smile a mile wide curves her lips.
X laughs, a deep belly laugh that vibrates through me. Releasing him, I pull Cynthia into a tight hug, promising to call her later and plan for a much-needed movie night.
“You’d better," she laughs before letting me go. Crouching down, she helps JT pack up his things.
“Will you come and play with me after I get my new game?" JT bounces on his toes in front of me, excitement spilling from him in waves.