by Maree, Kay
“I love you, too,” she gasps.
I roll over onto my back, taking her with me and we lie panting in an effort to recapture our breath.
Laying in the crook of my arm, her warm breath slides down my neck as we gaze up to the night sky. “We should go back.” Ally’s whisper disturbs the tranquility of the moment as she snuggles deeper into my side.
Pulling her closer, I lean down and kiss the crown of her head breathing in her sweet apple scent, not taking my eyes from the stars.
“In a minute,” I murmur, not ready to move just yet. I feel content for the first time in what feels like weeks.
Laying her head back against my chest, her fingernails dance up and down my shirt covered abs, causing my muscles to jump and tense at the feather light touch. Angry voices from across the road penetrate the quiet and we sit up to look around. It’s too dark to see anything, the only light is coming from the front of dad’s house. I turn to Ally, making sure her clothes are back in order and chuckle when she holds up her torn panties. Reaching out, I grab them and stuff them into my pocket along with her stockings.
“Lucky it’s not too cool tonight.” She shrugs.
“I’ll warm you up, Babe,” I reassure her.
“I bet,” she murmurs as she pushes to her feet and smooths her hands over her dress in an attempt to shift the dirt and grass. Standing above me, with the moon shining behind her in a halo effect, has my heart doing some funny shit inside my chest, knowing this woman is mine.
“You ready?” Her voice breaks into my thoughts, she stretches her hand out to help me up.
“Yeah, I guess.” Gripping her small hand, in mine I push to my feet without allowing her to wear the brunt of my weight. Before she can walk away, I pull her into my chest. “We’ve got this,” I murmur into her hair.
“We sure do,” she whispers into my neck as the angry voices get louder.
“Shit, that sounds like Beau.”
I take Ally’s hand in mine and we hurry across the road as Erica’s voice echoes off the side of the house. “I can’t do this, Beau!”
“What the fuck is going on?”
Ally squeezes my hand when we come to a stop on the footpath in front of dad’s house. Erica rushes past us with Beau hot on her heels but I reach out to stop him from following. It’s obvious Erica is upset and doesn’t want him near her. Thankfully, he doesn’t fight me and stays by my side.
Letting go of my hand, Ally takes up the space between her and where Erica is standing next to her car which is parked across the road.
“STOP!” Beau shouts.
“There is nothing left to talk about, Beau.” Tears stream over Erica’s face.
“I beg to fucking differ!” Beau runs a frustrated hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Beau, but you don’t know the real me. You think you do but you don’t.” Blowing out a deep breath, Erica locks eyes with me. There’s so much sadness in her eyes. “Thank you for the job, X, but I quit”
“I don’t fucking accept!” I’m getting pissed now.
“Ain’t fucking happening,” Beau spits out as his body tenses beside mine.
“Erica,” Ally murmurs.
Erica turns into Ally and wraps her arms around her. They’re too far away for me to hear what she whispers against Ally’s ear but I see her nod into Erica’s shoulder.
“I’ll call you later,” Erica says to Ally. She gives me a sad smile before turning and getting into her car.
Beau makes a start towards the car then, I hear the squeal of tyres and a set of headlights blind me.
“Fuck!” I shout as the sound of metal hitting metal echoes around the otherwise quiet cul de sac.
High pitched screams ring in my ears and the smell of fuel hits my nose. Erica screams and I can see her trying to get out of the car. I notice the driver’s side door is crushed from the impact of hitting the other car which is now flipped over on its roof - half on the hood of Erica’s car and half on the road. Smoke wafts around us, coating the cool air with petrol fumes. Not only can I smell the fuel, but also the tang of coolant from probably cracked radiators. Steam billows from under the crumpled hoods, curling into the air. The burnt-chemical smell from the deployed airbags, hits my nose causing my nostrils to flare. But, the most unnerving thing now is the strange silence. It’s a piercing sound in my ears, so quiet but yet so loud. The crash was disorienting – loud, so loud. Now, my eyes dart around at all the chaos around me which seems to be happening in slow motion. The impact was severe, extreme and debris is scattered all over this once quite street.
Questions are running through my mind at a million miles an hour as I stand stunned with shock....
Erica?
Beau?
Ally?
Who?
What?
Where?
How?
For the life of me I can't think, is there anyone else? More questions, no answers......
Who was driving the vehicle which was so intent on slamming into us and why?
Is it revenge?
Why is it so dark all of a sudden?
I can't see, buzzing sounds in my ears. My feet are unable to move.
The smell of fuel leaking from the cars doesn't help the situation of me needing to think. I cover my nose in order to breathe properly. Everything is a fucking mess. Erica was screaming in pain, panic and red-hot fear. The blood curdling screams are too much for me to bear, ripping through my skin like a hot poker. With feet feeling like lead, I force myself to take a few steps. Steam mixed with cool air and the bite of chemicals hits me in the face. What causes my heart to thump erratically is the shocking sight of Erica – blood... too much blood. The sheer panic in her eyes. Her skin angry and coated with streaks of fresh blood. So much blood.
I look around for Beau. I know he’s here somewhere. He was standing right beside me. Fuck. Scrubbing my hands over my face and up through my hair, I call out in panic. “Beau, where are you, brother?”
I spin around frantically and, in that moment, I see her. Flashbacks of her deathly still body in the hospital assault my mind and I race to where my woman is sitting on the road – all thoughts of leaden feet forgotten. I drop to my knees, the uneven surface of the asphalt biting into the skin and pain spears through me – I don’t care. I pull Ally onto my lap and run my hands over her face, checking her features.
“Baby, fuck, where are you hurt? Sweetness, please, look at me.”
Her eyes flicker open and I see the pain.
“Arghhhh,” she mouths through dry lips.
“Fuck, where are you hurt?” My heart is pleading for her to be okay.
“No, um, no, I don't know?” She gazes at me, disorientated. “Beau? X where’s Beau? He saved me, pushed me out of the way. Where is he?” Sheer fucking panic grips her and her eyes shift all around, frantically searching for him. Her fear hits me hard in the chest.
Scanning the area, I finally see him. He’s lying on the cold road, as still as stone. My heartrate picks up speed, the thumping banging in my head. I need to go to him, but an internal battle is raging inside me, needing to know my woman is okay first.
“I’ll go check on him.” I try to hide the panic in my voice.
Sitting up in my lap, she looks around at the chaos around us and a sob tears through her throat.
“I’m okay,” she whimpers before moving out of my arms to sit on the grass beside me. “Go, X, help him.”
At her words, I snap into action and push up from the ground. As I rush towards Beau, I stumble. My palms hit the asphalt, small stones tearing the skin. I ignore it and move to his side, again dropping to my knees. He’s so pale, unmoving. “Oh, fuck no he can't be.....” My throat constricts and my attention is drawn to a fire which flickers to life under the hood of one of the mangled cars. At some point, dad’s fire buddies have left the house and are shouting out rapid instructions.
Through a hazy blur of shock and disbelief, the faint sound of sirens in the distance c
auses me to look away from my brother. My eyes lock onto the driver of the other car. Anger rips through my body and my mind is hell bent on justice, I rise to my feet but before I can move towards the car, reach in and rip the person apart, I recognise the driver who has caused all the carnage..... Ally’s mother.
“Fuck!” I collapse back to my knees not taking my eyes off her face which is smeared in crimson, her lips a deep shade of purple. A heavy hand hits my shoulder and I know without looking it’s my dad. Erica falls to her knees beside me, tears flooding her blood-soaked face. Utter terror sounds in her words. “No. No. NO! Don’t do this.” She wails and shakes Beau by the shoulders. “Don’t you dare leave me too!” she screams while running a shaky hand through his hair.
Her cries shred me like a knife.
“The ambulance is coming, Beau. Please, please, just hold on, damn it.” She blows out a hard breath, wiping away the blood which is streaking down the side of her face. “Beau, cut this bullshit out. Please don’t give up, Baby. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m so sorry I pushed you away.”
I look up into my dad's eyes, tears roll from my burning eyes.
“No more death. Please, Pops, no more death,” I choke out on a sob.
“Don’t touch me!” Erica screams.
One of dad’s mates, John, is trying to check the cut on her forehead.
Ally lowers to her knees beside Erica and wraps her arms around her. Erica falls into her embrace and deep wails wrack her body.
“I’m so sorry,” Ally whispers while rocking her slightly.
I see her eyes scan the other car, the colour draining from her face when she recognises her mum slumped over the steering wheel.
“This is all my fault.” Soft tears roll over Ally’s cheeks.
“Fuck, that!” I grunt, pissed she feels the need to take the blame. None of this shit is her fault.
“If it wasn’t for me....” she swallows hard. “....none of this would have happened.”
“She did this, not you,” Erica murmurs.
An ambulance screeches to a stop nearby and a flurry of activity surrounds us as paramedics race to where we are, another checks Ally’s mother.
“She’s dead,” he says, sorrow coating his words.
“Good,” Ally spits out.
My heart lurches, I’m so fucking happy we don’t have to worry about that bitch anymore.
“We have a pulse,” the female paramedic examining Beau says. “What’s his name?”
“His name is, Beau and I’m going with him.” Erica’s tone brooks no argument. Dad helps her to her feet and I push to mine before helping Ally to stand.
“Miss, we need to look at your head,” the male paramedic insists while he helps place Beau onto the stretcher.
“I’m fine,” she murmurs as my father leads her towards the back of the ambulance.
Ally wraps her arms around me, weeping softly into my chest. I hold her tight as my arms begin to shake. Blowing out a rough breath, I savor her touch and close my eyes as the back doors of the ambulance close with a thud.
I open my eyes when a police car pulls in, one of the officer’s steps out and hurries to the paramedic who is still with Ally’s mum. The other makes his way over to us.
“Can someone fucking look at my girl now,” I call out in anger to the paramedic who seems more worried about the dead bitch in the car than he does about Ally. I know I’m not thinking rationally.
“Sir, can you tell me what happened here?” The cop flips open a notebook as the paramedic finally comes over to us.
I grasp my woman tighter to my side and place a single kiss to her forehead while sending a silent prayer to whoever is listening, thanking them that my girl is okay. Now, I need my brother to wake up. If he dies because he chose to save my girl’s life, that’s a debt I will never be able to repay. Releasing my girl to the care of the paramedic, I turn back to the cop. I’m ready to get this shit done so I can get to the hospital and make sure my brother is alright.
EPILOGUE
One month later...
Ally
“Are you going to tell what your tattoo means, Babe?” X whispers into my ear, his heated breath dulling the chill in the air. With my back moulded to his chest and his arms wrapped tight around my waist, I soak in his touch as the familiar feeling of home settles through me.
“About a week before all hell broke loose, I was at work. Anyways, my boss asked if I could stay back and I forgot to call my dad to let him know. When I finished work, I found a voicemail left by him, he was making sure I was okay. At the end of the message he said, I love you Buttons. I was in such a rush to call him back so he wouldn’t worry that I completely forgot to delete the message like I usually did. When my dad passed away and I was allowed to go home from the hospital, I took everything I could from the house including my phone.” I pause blowing air out through my lips. “The message had sat idle in my mailbox and I didn’t have the courage to delete it. Whenever I had bad days, I would listen to it and it hearing his voice helped.” I sniff as tears begin to ghost down my cheeks. “When Cynthia told me about her tattoos marking moments through her life that she never wanted to forget, I knew it was what I wanted.” I run a hand under my nose. “I have a program on my phone which could show me the sound waves of his voice and when it got to the part I wanted, I took a screenshot and printed it out.” I finish and lick my dry lips as X sways us from side to side to a silent melody only he can hear. Our eyes are on the cream coloured rendered wall in front of us where a small gold plaque with my father’s name engraved across it is fixed.
After mum died, Xavier and I went to my parent’s house and I found my father’s ashes. Anger still flashes through me when I remember where I found him - buried at the back of the closet in my mother’s room. A few deep breaths and the motion of Xavier swaying us, soothes me. I can focus again and push the anger away, knowing my father is finally at peace. As for anything else in that house, I took some of my father’s belongings including his favorite jumper which I sleep in every night. X grumbled at first, stating I should be sleeping in nothing and insisting he was there to keep me warm. He understands that I feel closer to my dad when I wear it though. Along with the jumper, I also found some old photo albums filled with pictures of him and me together. The albums now sit on a huge new bookshelf X bought me, it takes up a whole wall in his apartment....I mean our apartment. Since the moment I was released from hospital, I have only returned to my place to pick up my stuff. Xavier insisted it was best for him to have me in his space and since I’d agreed to marry him, we should be living together. Honestly, who was I to argue with his logic if it meant I got to sleep in his arms every night?
As for my parent’s house, X helped me put it on the market. It was a day of mixed emotions but the good memories I had from living there are overshadowed by all the bad ones and as X said, no matter what, I will always have those special memories with me.
When X’s dad found out we were engaged he was so happy. I think it took away some of his pain and it was nice to see him smile a genuine smile. He gave X shit for not having a ring to give me and told me I could probably do better. X grumbled at his father’s shit-stirring. I smile and glance down at my ring, it’s absolutely breathtaking and it means everything to me. It’s a beautiful gold band with a huge princess cut diamond in the center and two rows of encrusted diamonds flow down the sides. X surprised me with it three weeks ago. Just thinking about the morning he gave it to me sends heat rushing through my body
“Are you okay, Sweetness?” X asks, leaning his chin on my head.
“I’m perfect.” I grip his hands with mine across my belly as butterflies swarm my stomach.
“Are you nearly ready to leave?” He plants a kiss to my temple, making me shiver.
“In a minute. Do you mind if we take a seat for a minute?” I point to a wooden bench seat near the small pond, smiling when I notice a couple of brown ducks diving down into the water.
/>
“Are you still not feeling good?” Worry laces his tone as he takes my hand and leads me to the bench, but instead on letting me sit beside him, he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.
“I’m okay.” I rest my head on his shoulder as a deep rumble vibrates in my ear, he’s not happy with my answer.
“X?”
“Yes, Sweetness?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Babe.”
“We’ve got this, haven’t we?” I run my nails over his chest, loving the feel of his muscles jumping beneath my touch.
“What’s going on, Babe?” I hear the concern in his words.
Lifting my head, I cup his cheeks in my hands, sidetracked a little when the sun catches my ring. I tilt my head, waiting for his answer.
“Yeah, Babe we’ve got this, now tell me what’s wrong.” He gives my hips a little squeeze which draws my attention and I lock my gaze with his ocean blue eyes, the same blue eyes which calm me and make me feel whole.
“I’m pregnant,” I rush out before biting my lip as the silence lingers between us. After what feels like an eternity but was only mere seconds, his blue eyes seem to shine and he finally speaks.
“Fuck, yeah!” Gripping the sides of my face, his mouth slams down hard on mine, stealing my breath as we pour everything we have into the kiss. Our eyes stay locked on each other.
My story isn’t a perfect one but it’s mine. I no longer live with the guilt which once consumed me over a past I couldn’t change. Pulling back from the kiss, I run my thumbs under his eyes and feel his thumbs doing the same to mine.
“You are my world, the reason I can breathe each day.” He wraps me in his arms and his hands land protectively over my stomach as I burrow into his chest and rest my head against his shoulder again.
“You are my home, you brought me back to life,” I murmur, resting my hands over his which are protecting the small miracle growing inside me. Closing my eyes, I vow to love our baby with everything that I am. I promise, when the time comes. I will share the story of when mummy found her wings and was finally able to breathe again.