So, as far as Lance was concerned, the mothers of the church needed to sweep around their front door before they swept around his. Lance was happy, and his wife was ecstatic.
That’s all that mattered to him. Arykah’s priorities were in order. Therefore, Lance would allow her to shop until she dropped.
“I’m so proud of you, ba—”
Arykah noticed Lance had cut his words short. “No, thanks, Sharonda,” Arykah heard him say; then Lance brought his attention back to his wife. “Sorry about that, Cheeks.”
“Honey, who is Sharonda, and why is she answering the phone at the church?”
“Sharonda is Mother Gussie’s granddaughter. She just showed up at the church this morning. Apparently Mother Gussie doesn’t plan to return to work anytime soon.
“Sharonda said Mother Gussie asked her to fill in for her. It’s not even noon, and she’s already asked me seven times if I needed anything. I shut my door to give her a hint that I didn’t want to be bothered, but evidently a closed door means nothing.”
“I don’t think I met her. Is she a member of Freedom Temple?”
“Yes, she is a member. She was recently released from prison. I told you about Sharonda, remember?”
Arykah tried to jog her memory. She couldn’t recall the name. “No.”
“Think back to the day when you called the church to thank me for sending you flowers to the realty office. Mother Gussie answered and refused to put your call through to me. She interrogated you about why you were calling.”
“That I remember,” Arykah said.
“When you told me about it, I mentioned that Mother Gussie harassed every woman who looked my way because, in her mind, she was saving me for her granddaughter, Sharonda. Sharonda was in prison when you and I met. Mother Gussie had this crazy plan to hook me up with Sharonda when she got paroled.”
The more Lance talked, Arykah began to recall that conversation. “Oh yes. Now I remember. Sharonda has three children, right?”
“Yep. Her third child was delivered while she was in prison.”
“So, Sharonda has a crush on you, huh?”
“She’s had a crush on me for as long as I can remember, but Sharonda knows that I’m happily married and there is absolutely no chance of her and I getting together.”
“Humph, she better know it,” Arykah stated. The last thing she needed was someone else creating problems and trying to come between her and Lance. But just like she got Mother Gussie under control, Arykah would have no problem putting the granddaughter in her place as well.
Lance chuckled. “Calm down, Cheeks.”
“This is calm,” Arykah responded. “But I think Mother Gussie sent Sharonda there to cause trouble.”
“Be that as it may, it still takes two to tango. And you’re my only dancing partner.”
“Sho’ you right, Bishop. And if Sharonda tries to cut in on my dance, I’m gonna dance on her *#@.”
Lance couldn’t do anything but laugh at his wife. Her promise to God to stop cursing was often forgotten. But Lance had to admit that some of the things Arykah said and the way she said them were hilarious. “Listen to you,” Lance said. “Now you gotta repent.”
“I have no problem with repenting,” Arykah confessed while rolling her eyes at no one in particular. “And I’ll make sure to repent if I have to put my foot in Sharonda’s—”
“Okay, okay,” Lance cut Arykah’s words short. “What am I gonna do with you?”
“You can lay hands on me.”
Lance chuckled. He knew Arykah was being mischievous. “Holy hands?”
“Nope. Freaky hands.”
When Arykah pulled her car into the driveway later that evening, she saw a large brown box on the front porch. She exited her car and walked up the steps. As she got closer to the box, Arykah saw that it had been shipped via the United Parcel Service.
“Yea, our stilettos are here,” she squealed. Arykah opened the front door and tried to drag the box inside the foyer but found it to be too heavy to move. “Lance!” she called out.
Moments later, Lance appeared from the master bedroom. “You bellowed?”
Arykah stood in the archway of the front door and pointed to the box on the porch.
“Babe, I can’t get this box inside.”
“How many purses were you trying to sneak in this time?”
“These aren’t purses,” Arykah said. “These are shoes, and they’re not for me.”
“Sure they aren’t,” Lance said, picking up the box and bringing it inside.
“Well, only one pair is for me,” she admitted. “The others are for Monique, Chelsea, Darlita, and Gladys.” Before Arykah parted ways with the ladies last Saturday evening, she’d gotten their shoe sizes. When she had returned home, she went straight to her notebook, got online, and ordered their stilettos. She paid extra for the stilettos to arrive in time for the stiletto party.
Lance set the box on the living-room floor. Arykah opened the large brown box and saw five Christian Louboutin shoe boxes inside. She squealed in delight, then clapped her hands together and sang, “Cakes and pies, cakes and pies.” That was Arykah’s favorite chant whenever things fell into place.
“That’s a shame,” Lance said. “Getting so excited over shoes. I don’t get it.”
Arykah looked for a size eight on the shoe boxes. “That’s because you’re not a woman, Lance. I don’t expect you to understand.” When she had found her size, she opened the box, looked inside, and squealed again.
For herself, Arykah purchased the style called the Pigalili, a boutique exclusive. The material on the stilettos was made of specchio leather and strauss. The entire length of the stilettos were beaded with silver authentic Swarovski crystals. Arykah thought the shoes were worth every bit of the $3,545 she had paid for them. She pulled one stiletto from the box and held it up to show Lance the signature red leather bottom sole. “See that, honey?”
Lance looked at the sole of the shoe but didn’t see anything spectacular about it. He shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, so?”
“What, are you blind? These are Christian Louboutins, Lance.”
He just didn’t get Arykah’s excitement over the shoes. “Cheeks, if you like them, then I love them.” Lance shrugged his shoulders again, then went back to the bedroom.
“Lord, forgive him. He doesn’t know any better,” Arykah murmured. She opened the other shoe boxes and was just as blown away at Monique’s, Gladys’s, Darlita’s, and Chelsea’s shoes, all different styles. Arykah couldn’t wait until the ladies arrived the next evening. She thought that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a paramedic on the premises because a heart attack or two may arise when they opened their gifts.
Arykah pulled the shipping receipt from the bottom of the large brown box. Five pairs of Christian Louboutins had cost her nearly $17,000. But Arykah didn’t care about the cost. She was looking forward to having a fun evening with her new friends.
Arykah woke up Saturday morning to hammering and banging. When she saw that she was in the bedroom alone, she got out of bed in search of Lance. She put her robe on and left the master bedroom. The closer she got to the kitchen, the louder the hammering became. In the kitchen, Arykah saw men hard at work gluing tiles above the stove and installing a new hood.
Lance snuck behind Arykah and wrapped his arms around her. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Arykah smiled when Lance pressed his face against the crook of her neck. “Good morning. What’s all this?”
“This,” Lance started, “is getting my beautiful kitchen back in working order. I’m feeding you and your guests this evening. I haven’t prepared a meal in almost three weeks. I feel like a fish out of water.”
“I know. And I probably lost a few pounds.”
Lance wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. “Well, I can’t let that happen. I love you just the way you are. Nice and fluffy.”
After the men had left and Lance had his kitchen back, he prepared home
made waffles and deep fried chicken wings for himself and Arykah.
“Why is it that I’m the only one gaining weight from all of the cooking you do?” Arykah asked licking maple syrup from her lips. “I swear I’m a dress size larger than I was when we got married. You eat just as much as I do, Lance, if not more than me.”
“I have a secret to keeping fit.”
“What’s the secret?”
“Exercising. A few hours after my food digests, I’ll run a few miles. You wanna join me?”
Arykah slouched down in her chair and belched. “Uh-uh. You could’ve kept that secret.”
Chapter 14
Arykah was running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. Everything had to be perfect for when the ladies arrived that evening. Monique wasn’t a stranger to the Howell house, but Chelsea, Gladys, and Darlita would be visiting for the very first time.
Arykah had heard the rumors that had been flowing around the church about how massive the bishop and Lady Arykah’s home was. The associate ministers, the deacons, and the finance committee were the only church members that had stepped foot inside of their home when Lance held meetings and prepared a feast. Arykah knew that the ladies, aside from Monique, were coming to get an eye full, to see for themselves how she and Lance lived.
In the living room, Arykah looked all around. Everything was in its place. She glanced at the glass cocktail table. It was shining and smudge free. The mantle above the fireplace displayed a neat row of photos of Arykah and Lance from their wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica. The grandfather clock stood tall next to the fireplace, and the pendulum swung back and forth.
“Is the staircase to your liking, Mrs. Howell?” Arykah looked toward the winding staircase. An elderly Polish woman stood at the base of the steps with a dust rag in one hand and a bottle of Murray’s wood oil soap in the other. The wood flooring shined so bright that Arykah could see her reflection. She walked up the steps, then walked back down looking for any spot on the railing that hadn’t been polished.
“Great job, Graciela.” Arykah was well pleased.
The mahogany floors were shining and the winding staircase was sparkling. Arykah paid Graciela handsomely for her services, tipped her well, then sent her on her way. Next, Arykah went into the kitchen to check on Lance. She saw him standing at the stove with his white chef’s hat on and a matching apron with the words Chef Lancelot embroidered on the upper left side.
“How’s it going, Chef?” Arykah asked, sneaking a peek at what Lance was creating.
The aroma in the kitchen was delightful. Arykah saw milk chocolate melting in a sauce pan. “Ooh, chocolate. That’s my favorite. What are you gonna do with it, honey?”
“That’s for the chocolate-covered sliced apples.”
Arykah frowned. She’d never heard of chocolate-covered apples. “Apples? Not strawberries?”
Lance went to the refrigerator and pulled out a tray of the first batch of sliced chocolate-covered apples he had already prepared. He took one from the tray and brought it to Arykah’s lips. “Take a bite.”
Arykah bit into the apple and could’ve sworn that she’d bitten into a piece of heaven. “Um, this is so good. I never thought of mixing apples with chocolate.”
“The key,” Lance said. “is the green Granny Smith apples. They are the same apples that are used for taffy apples.”
“Oh, so that’s the tang I taste?” Arykah asked.
“Yep, the sour taste of the apple blended with the sweet taste of the milk chocolate makes the whole thing pop.”
“Very creative, babe. What else are you serving this evening?”
“I got a surprise for you,” Lance said smiling.
Arykah returned the smile. “You know I like surprises.”
Lance grabbed her by her hand and pulled her to the large center island. Arykah saw a white cardboard box sitting in the middle of the island. She had seen the box earlier that morning but thought nothing of it. It wasn’t often, but whenever Lance was called upon to cater an event, he used white cardboard boxes to transport food. Arykah hadn’t given the white box on the center island any thought.
Lance opened the box and told Arykah to look inside.
“Oh my God! Babe, when did you—? How did you—? Where did you get these?” Arykah couldn’t believe what she saw inside the box.
Lance laughed out loud. “I think that’s the first time that I’ve seen you at a loss for words.”
Inside the white box were two dozen high-heeled-shaped cookies decorated in various colors of frosting. Arykah picked up a stiletto cookie with yellow frosting. “How cute is this.” She picked up another stiletto cookie with red and white frosting. “These are fab, babe. Where did you get these?”
“From the cookie lady at church,” Lance said.
“Sister Ethel Avery?”
“Yep. She sells cakes, cookies, and pies every Sunday after church.”
“Honey, I know all about Ethel’s sweet treats. I’m one of her biggest customers, but I didn’t know she could get down like this,” Arykah said biting into a cookie. “Oh, this is so good.” She looked at Lance. “These are shortbread cookies. Did you know that?”
“Of course I did,” he responded with a sure smile on his face. “Isn’t it my job to know that shortbread cookies are your favorite?”
“Honey, you are too much.” Arykah kissed Lance’s lips softly and looked inside the box again and was amazed at how detailed the stiletto cookies were designed. Some were decorated with edible crystals. Arykah saw a high-heeled shoe boot with edible shoestrings. “Ethel has outdone herself. I will definitely be sure to thank her personally at church tomorrow.”
“Take a look at these,” Lance said, pointing to a Chinese takeout container that sat on the counter. It was filled with what Arykah thought were lollipops wrapped in plastic.
“What are those?” she asked, already moving toward the container.
Lance pulled a treat from the container. “These are cakes on sticks. Ethel made these too. She put small bite-size balls of cake on sticks and decorated them with frosting and—”
“And put them in plastic, then placed them in a Chinese takeout container,” Arykah completed Lance’s statement. “I can’t get over how creative Ethel is besides cakes and pies. I just had no idea. Did you pay her?”
“Of course, I paid her.”
“How much?” Arykah asked Lance.
“Why?”
Arykah looked at how gorgeous the stiletto cookies and cakes on sticks were. “Because I’m going to double it. For this kind of creativity, Ethel deserves it.”
Monique was the first of the ladies to arrive at Arykah’s home.
“Hey, doll,” Arykah greeted her with outstretched arms.
“Hey, blondie,” Monique returned the greeting referring to Arykah’s new blond wig.
She stepped in Arykah’s foyer and embraced her best friend. “You are looking too cute.”
For the evening, Arykah donned stonewashed skinny jeans and a lilac wrap top.
“Thank you. Come on in.”
Monique followed Arykah into the living room and saw it empty of guests. “Am I the first to arrive?”
“Yep,” Arykah said, plopping down on the sofa. “You just missed Lance.”
“How is the bishop doing these days without a secretary ?” Monique asked, sitting on the sofa opposite from Arykah.
“Humph! As of yesterday he has a new church secretary. A young church secretary.”
Monique’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Who?”
“Mother Gussie’s granddaughter. Her name is Sharonda.”
“Mother Gussie isn’t coming back? Did she quit?”
“Girl, who knows what Mother Gussie is doing? I found out yesterday when I called the church and Sharonda answered. She didn’t know who I was, and I surely didn’t know who she was. But I do know that she has a crush on Lance and has had a crush on him for years.”
“Who told you that?” Monique
asked.
“Lance did. Sharonda was paroled recently.”
“Paroled? What was she incarcerated for?”
“I don’t know. Do you remember that time when I called to tell you how Mother Gussie disrespected me when I called the church to thank Lance for the flowers he sent me after our first date?”
“Yeah,” Monique nodded.
“Well, Lance said that Mother Gussie had high hopes of him and Sharonda getting together when she got released from prison. She saw me as a threat.”
Monique shook her head from side to side. “Arykah, please. Are you serious?”
“I finally got Mother Gussie to back off of me, and now her granddaughter appears out of the blue.”
“You know what I think?” Monique said. “I think since you put fear in Mother Gussie’s heart, she purposely sent Sharonda, who she knows has a crush on Lance, to start some crap.”
“Yep,” Arykah nodded. “I told Lance that. But, honey, I ain’t gonna fret one bit, because if Sharonda tries to cross me, I’ll snatch her.”
Monique laughed out loud. “Would you snatch her, girl?”
Arykah lowered her head and glared at Monique as if she were a stranger. “Excuse me. Have we met? Don’t act like you don’t know me, Monique. I will snatch Sharonda so fast, she’ll get a crook in the side of her neck.” Arykah raised her hand in the air, closed her fist, then quickly brought her arm down, demonstrating just how she’ll do it. “Chile, I’ll snatch a broad in a hot second.”
Monique laughed at her best friend again. “Girl, you are nuts.”
The telephone rang. It was the guard at the gate again announcing to Arykah that she had more guests. Arykah told the guard to send them through. Five minutes later, Arykah greeted the ladies at the door. When she opened it, Chelsea, Gladys, and Darlita were standing on the porch.
“Hello, ladies. Welcome. Come on in.” Arykah stepped aside to allow the ladies inside. “The three of you just happened to arrive at the same time?”
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