Cross My Heart: Hearts Series Book 5.75

by L.H. Cosway

“That’s different.”

  “No, it’s no—”

  “Just . . . talk to me,” he said, an edge to his voice. He really was struggling. Struggling because I was touching him. Wow. I liked that, liked the heady feeling of power.

  “About what?” I whispered.

  “Anything,” he replied. “Tell me who you talk to when you’re alone in this room.”

  I froze, my heart giving a hard, panicked thud. “Um . . .”

  “It’s okay,” he soothed. “I hear you some nights. It’s actually kind of comforting. I like the sound of your voice.”

  I went quiet, considering my words. If I could tell anyone about my odd imagination it was Liam. “Do you remember my friend Becky I told you about? The one who died?”

  “Yes.”

  I made a weird shape with my mouth in the dark. It felt bizarre confessing this to him. “She and I, we were all each other had. Then she was gone and I felt so alone. After a while I started having these conversations with myself.”

  “You did?”

  “Well, not with myself, per se. I started having them with David Bowie.”

  He emitted a surprised breath and I could hear the smile in his voice. “David Bowie?”

  “Yeah, I’ve always been a little obsessed with him, so I guess it makes sense. He’s, well, he’s my imaginary friend.”

  Liam didn’t say anything, only continued stroking my back. I was glad he didn’t stop, even though he didn’t want me touching him. Stroking him. I understood why. Laying in bed with a girl caressing your bare stomach could lead to embarrassing repercussions when you were a guy.

  “It’s weird, right?” I said when he still didn’t speak.

  “No. I don’t think it’s weird at all,” he said finally. “It’s a coping mechanism. We all have them.”

  “Yeah but, Liam, he’s real to me. Sane people don’t believe they can talk to the ghosts of dead rock stars, though admittedly, he was still alive when the whole thing started.”

  “I still don’t think it’s weird. For whatever reason, he’s comforting to you. You probably grew up with him, right?”

  I nodded into his chest. “Mum used to play his music all the time. She even went to see him in concert in the eighties.”

  “See? He reminds you of a time before you had to fend for yourself. After our mum passed, me and my brother Trevor used to pretend our real parents were He-Man and She-Ra. We used to make up elaborate scenarios where they’d come and rescue us, whisk us away to live with them so we’d never have a care again.”

  “That’s adorable,” I said. And heartbreaking. “But you were a child. I’m a twenty-year-old woman.”

  “A twenty-year-old woman who never had the chance to be young. Not really. You’re allowed your peculiarities, Iris,” he replied tenderly.

  “I know I have to let him go,” I said in a small voice. “I’ve been trying, I really have. It’s just hard.”

  “You’ll get there,” he said, his hand giving my hip a small squeeze.

  I nuzzled my face into his chest and inhaled deeply. “I hope so.”

  “You’re the strongest person I know. You can do anything.”

  He sounded like he really believed it. It was a new and liberating sensation for someone to have so much faith in me. I closed my eyes fully and just enjoyed being held by him. I didn’t think I could fall asleep. I thought that after a while I’d end up crawling out of bed and laying down on the floor. But then Liam’s breathing grew deep and there was a meditative quality to it. For the first time since I moved in here I felt at peace. And as time passed, I slowly fell under, proving his theory correct.

  I slept.

  With Liam’s arms around me, I could finally sleep in my own bed.

  Seven

  Sound and Vision

  It was no surprise that sleeping together became a habit.

  Each night when the house grew quiet, Liam snuck into my room and crawled into bed beside me. I’d lie awake waiting for him and he always came. Sometimes we talked. Other times we just cuddled. I started to wonder if maybe he needed me just as much as I needed him.

  It was a peace I’d never known. It was also addictive and thrilling and incredibly sexually frustrating.

  But you know, it worked.

  I’d never felt so rested in all my life.

  I opened my eyes to the sliver of morning light that peeked through the curtains and smiled. Liam was spooning me. I was the little spoon. His strong arms and his masculine scent surrounded me. I closed my eyes again, deciding I could afford a few more minutes of rest. I knew Liam was awake when I felt his hand move, coming to rest on my stomach.

  Butterflies flooded my belly.

  My T-shirt had ridden up in the night, exposing my bare midriff. Liam’s hand stroked back and forth and a want stirred between my thighs. I clenched them together to dull the ache but it was no use. In my mind I imagined his hand moving lower, dipping inside my underwear and discovering how wet I was.

  I moved a little and made a shocking discovery. He was hard. In all the nights we’d shared a bed, he’d always been very careful keeping his . . . parts away from me. If he did have an erection, I never felt it, but I could feel it now. Hard and urgent as it pressed against me.

  God.

  Liam’s hand moved to my belly, pulling me closer so that his cock was flush with my backside. I wanted to moan. I wanted to wriggle against him and feel it get even harder. Feeling bold, I circled my hips and felt his breath hit the back of my neck.

  “Iris,” he whispered huskily.

  I moved my hips again and he let out the most wonderful and interesting noise. He groaned. Groaned like a man. It was a sexual noise. One I hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing from him before. It turned me on and a tiny whimper escaped me in response.

  I barely had time to react when he flipped me on my back, nestled himself between my legs, and stared down at me with the sexiest look in his eyes. His hands gripped my hips and squeezed. I arched my back so I could feel his cock press into me more.

  His lips parted and he closed his eyes, a look of pure desire claiming his features. His torso moved and my breath hitched. He pushed his cock so hard into me I had to bite my lip not to moan. If we were naked right then, we’d be fucking already.

  I wanted him to kiss me, but he didn’t.

  Instead he opened his eyes, lowered his body so he was holding himself up on his elbows and cupped my face. I had no idea what was happening, but I’d never felt so entranced. I watched his every move with barely concealed fascination. And then, he started moving his hips slowly in and out. I exhaled shakily at the feel of him, his hard cock pressing against my needy sex. I was so close to coming and he’d barely even touched me.

  My every nerve ending was on fire.

  His hands still cupped my face but his thumb moved down to brush across my lower lip. The only sound in the room was our breathing. His thumb dipped inside my mouth and the noise that came out of me surprised us both. I didn’t think I’d ever made a sound quite so feminine before. So sensual. His thumb moved in the same motion of his hips, dipping in and out of my mouth, pressing against my tongue.

  “You’re the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, do you know that?” he rasped.

  “Liam.” His name was a soft plea on my lips.

  “What is it, beautiful?” he replied, his gaze worshipful, taking all of me in.

  “Kiss me,” I whispered.

  I’d barely finished saying the words before his thumb slid away from my lips, and was replaced with his mouth. His hot, sexy, gorgeous mouth. He kissed me like he was dying of thirst. He kissed me like it was the last kiss he’d ever have. His lips melded with mine, his tongue sliding inside and coaxing mine to react.

  I brought my hands to the middle of his bare back then raked them down his firm muscles. He groaned into the kiss, his movements quickening. His cock was hitting just the right spot and my thighs grew weak as pleasure built within me. It felt like ther
e was a firework inside my body, and Liam’s cock had lit the match.

  I was going to go off any second.

  We never broke our kiss, and then, I shattered, fell apart in his arms. Liam groaned and swallowed every tremor that passed over me, before a shudder of his own went through him. His mouth left mine and he burrowed his face in the crook of my neck. I held him to me, my breathing fast and choppy. After a while it started to slow down.

  Liam had just given me an orgasm without even taking his pants off. Or mine for that matter. Not only that, but I was fairly sure he just came, too.

  Wow.

  His lips nibbled at my neck, causing tingles to dance down my spine.

  “I don’t want to move,” he complained and I laughed softly.

  “You have to. You’ve got work today. So do I for that matter.”

  He rose up, holding himself above me as he stared down. His gaze traced my lips, my cheeks, my chin, then came to rest on my eyes.

  “You look incredible when you come,” he murmured sexily.

  I flushed deeply but didn’t turn away. The moment was broken when the alarm clock on the window went off, reminding us both that we had to get up. Liam groaned and pressed a soft, tender kiss on my mouth before climbing out of bed. He was smiling at me as he headed for the door.

  “I’m going to take a shower. See you at breakfast.”

  And that was another thing I loved about living here. There was a family breakfast every morning, even if everyone was in a hurry they still came in and ate something quickly. I liked the routine of it. It was comforting.

  Once I was dressed and ready for work I headed downstairs. If Liam’s family were aware of his nightly visits to my room, they’d never commented on it. Lee was by the kitchen counter, chopping some fresh fruit while a large pot of porridge heated on the stove.

  “Morning, Iris. Want some mango?” he asked and gestured to the fruit. Liam was still up in his room getting dressed.

  I nodded and picked up a piece, savouring the tangy, sweet taste. We were quiet for a moment as I studied him.

  “Lee.”

  “Yeah, hon?”

  “Do you . . . I mean, feel free to tell me no, but do you think you might let me train to cook at the restaurant sometime?”

  The edges of his mouth curved in a soft smile. “I was wondering when you’d get sick of doing lackey’s work.”

  I glanced away shyly. “I’ve wanted to ask you for a while now.”

  He shot me a considering look. “I’ve actually been thinking of taking on some new workers. You’ve seen first-hand how we’ve been struggling to keep up with demand.”

  Something warm and hopeful swelled within me. “Really?” I gushed.

  “Yeah, just give me a week or two to find someone to take over your job, then we can start training you in.”

  I beamed at him, almost welling up as I choked out a whispered, “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”

  His gaze was soft. “Yeah, I do. That’s why I’m saying yes. Everyone in this house knows how it feels to be desperate, Iris. What it’s like to start with nothing. I suppose that’s why Liam’s so smitten. He must see something of himself in you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. It embarrassed me to know other people had noticed Liam’s affection for me, even though I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have it. Before I could thank him again, Liam stepped into the room and grabbed a handful of grapes from the selection of fruit. He shot me a heated look then seemed to notice something was different. His eyes moved from me to his brother.

  “Did I miss something?”

  I cracked a big smile. “Lee’s agreed to let me start training as a cook at the restaurant.”

  His lips parted in a smile of his own. “Yeah? That’s great news.”

  “I know.” I beamed.

  Liam took the seat beside mine as Lee said, “By the way, we’re having a little get together for Sophie’s birthday at the restaurant tonight after closing. Nothing fancy, just some food and a few drinks. I’ll need you both there by eight at the latest.”

  I was surprised and flattered to be invited. “Sounds good.”

  “We’ll be there,” Liam agreed, his hand coming to rest at the small of my back.

  A simmering heat burned just beneath my skin. Lee turned around to stir the porridge while Liam bent to growl softly in my ear, “I’m gonna be thinking about this morning all fucking day.”

  Me, too, I thought as the memory of how he’d looked at me ran though my head, like I belonged to him.

  Me, too.

  Eight

  Ashes to Ashes

  “How much for this one?” I hesitantly asked the shop assistant, holding up the knee-length black dress. It had little sequins stitched in, making it shimmer when it moved. It also had three-quarter-length sleeves and a tight-fitting shape.

  “Twenty-five,” she replied as she glanced up from her phone. “That’ll look great on you, babe.”

  I gave her a small smile at the compliment. I couldn’t remember the last time I bought clothes for myself, especially new clothes from a stylish boutique like this one. But I couldn’t go to Sophie’s birthday party in either of the two outfits I owned, both consisting of jeans and a T-shirt. I also wanted to look good for Liam.

  “Okay,” I said bravely. “I’ll take it.”

  A couple hours later I was back at the house, freshly showered and applying some eyeliner. I back-combed my hair to give it a bit of a tussled appearance and put on my dress. I wore it with some black lacey tights (another new purchase) and my well-worn Doc Marten boots. Standing back to check myself out in the mirror, I decided I looked decent. More than decent. I looked hot.

  I bought Sophie a pair of earrings as a gift. They weren’t real silver or gold or anything, but I thought they’d suit her.

  Liam was in kitchen waiting for me when I came down the stairs. He wore a navy shirt and a nice pair of jeans, handsome as always. When he saw me his lips parted slightly as he took me in.

  “You look . . . gorgeous. Really fucking gorgeous, Iris.”

  I self-consciously brushed my hands down the dress. “Thanks.”

  “C’mere.”

  I went to him and he wrapped his arms around me. “I can’t stop thinking about this morning,” he murmured and bent to give me a light kiss. I responded instantly, my nipples hardening as I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss. He made a low rumbly sound in the back of his throat and pulled away.

  “If you keep kissing me like that we’ll never make it to the party.” His chest rose and fell with his breathing.

  I smiled, embarrassed at how hungrily I’d kissed him. “Sorry.”

  He swiped his thumb over my lip. “Don’t apologise. I love it.”

  When we arrived at The Grub Hut the place was closed to the public. Liam held my hand as we walked in, as though to communicate to everyone we were together. I felt like I was walking on air. There weren’t too many people there, just the family and a few friends. Unfortunately, Valerie was one of them. She scowled when she saw me with Liam then sauntered off to the bathroom to lick her wounds.

  I got to meet Liam’s oldest brother, Stu, and his partner, Andrea. They seemed nice but Stu was too good-looking to be real. Not as good-looking as Liam of course, not in my eyes anyway. I gave Sophie her earrings and she hugged me, exclaiming how much she loved them. Then we ate and drank and I felt enveloped in a sense of belonging.

  I belonged here.

  The feeling was strong and all-consuming. I might’ve been a little drunk on it. Or maybe that was all the wine. Before I knew it, we were up and dancing. Liam slid his arms around my waist and we swayed to the music. I giggled when he dipped me low then pulled me back up again.

  “You’re amazing, Iris,” he whispered in my ear as the music got slower. Goosebumps claimed my skin. His hands lowered to cup my backside and tendrils of awareness spread through me. He squeezed and I would’ve been embarrassed if I wasn�
�t so tipsy. Thankfully, everyone else was too drunk to notice how he was touching me.

  Our want for each other was so thick you could’ve cut it with a knife.

  I was happy, content. Emotion clogged my throat. I couldn’t believe I’d found someone like Liam. Or was it him who found me?

  Maybe we’d found each other.

  When the song ended I drew away, shooting him a flirtatious look as I excused myself to go to the bathroom. He gave my hip a playful pinch and urged, “Hurry back.”

  I nodded and sauntered from the room and down the corridor. When I stepped inside the bathroom I was surprised to find Bowie leaning against one of the stalls. He was Jareth again. I think he knew that of all his guises, this one was my favourite. He wore a fond, tender smile.

  “You’re leaving me, aren’t you,” he asked, his words full of affection.

  Emotion stung at my eyes. “I don’t want to.”

  “I know you don’t.”

  “But I have to.”

  “I know that, too.”

  I choked out a laugh, both happy and sad. “You always know everything.”

  “He loves you,” Bowie went on and a lump formed in my throat. I wanted it to be true so badly. “Maybe he doesn’t realise it yet, but he does. He loves you like you’ve always deserved. Your life is just about to begin, Iris.”

  A tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away with the back of my hand. “I really wish you could stay.”

  “So do I, my darling, but you know what they say about all great things . . .”

  “Can you do one last thing for me?” I sniffled. “Before you go.”

  “Anything.”

  “Can you say the lines?”

  His mismatched eyes glinted under the fluorescent lights. “What lines?”

  I pouted and shot him a playful look. “You know which ones.”

  A slow, wicked smile spread across his mouth as he took several strides towards me. Then he spoke my favourite lines in the whole wide world and I got chills like always.

  “I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you.”

  I smiled so big my face hurt and he smiled right back at me.