by Rhonda James
I’d never been in love, but if there was anyone I could fall in love with, it would be her. When I was with her, I had all these feelings that I didn’t know what to do with.
I wanted to hold her and kiss her soft lips.
Dance with her and make her laugh.
Make love to her and make her mine.
Protect her and make her smile.
Promise her forever.
Right now, what I wanted was to lose myself inside her and quiet all the goddamn noise in my head.
The door had barely closed behind us when I couldn’t stand it a second longer. I had to have her. My heart was beating so fast I could feel it pounding in my ears. I pinned her arms above her head and slammed her back against the door. I was so wound up I feared I might actually hurt her if I didn’t take a deep breath and calm down. Trouble was, I didn’t want to calm down. I wanted to take her right against the door. I wanted to fuck her so hard, so fast, the grain of wood would leave its imprint on her flawless skin.
“I can’t wait to fuck you.” I kissed my way down her throat.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
I brushed the hair from her shoulder and kissed the side of her neck, sucking just enough to leave a faint mark. “Want to do this right. Don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m not fragile, Jared. I’ve had rough sex before,” she confessed before reaching for the button on my jeans and single-handedly mastering it on the first try. I told myself not to think about how many times she’d performed that little trick before tonight.
Don’t tell me I’m the only one thinking that. Almost every guy I know likes to pretend he’s the only guy his girl had sex with.
I hissed when she slipped her hand inside and wrapped her delicate fingers around my rigid shaft, stroking me from tip to base. “Don’t tell me that. I don’t want to think about you fucking anyone else. When you’re with me, you’re mine. Understand?”
Fire danced behind her baby blues just before she dropped to her knees and tugged my jeans down past my hips. “Don’t tell me what to do.” Her sassy reply would have made me laugh, but there was nothing funny about the way her tongue felt as it swept over the tip of my erection.
I wanted to tell her she didn’t need to do this, but who the fuck was I kidding? Night after night, I’d dreamed of having those heart-shaped lips wrapped around the head of my swollen cock. Now that the fantasy had become a reality, I didn’t have the presence of mind to turn her down. No man in his right mind would—southern gentleman be damned.
I watched through heavy-lidded eyes as my dick disappeared deep within her warm, wet mouth. Her jaw went slack, lips stretched wide, as she worked the length of my cock with the skill of someone who’d clearly given head before. I hated it. Hated the idea of Sophie on her knees for anyone but me. Anger for those nameless, faceless assholes burned through my veins. I thought about that guy on the show with her, the one she’d been in love with, and wondered how many times he’d had her this way. Or any way for that matter. Fueled by jealousy, I pumped my hips, feeling empowered when my cock struck the back of her throat and she gagged. I buried one hand in her hair and braced the other against the door, fucking her mouth until I could no longer stand it. I had to be inside her.
She was in my arms with her back against the door in a second flat. “You’re way too good at that,” I growled in her ear, teasing my arousal between her parted legs. “I want to make slow, sweet love to you. Kiss every inch of your body and worship you.”
“Thank. God,” she moaned and wiggled her ass against me.
I carried her over to the bed and laid her down. Her knees parted, and I settled myself between them, running my hands down her outer thigh. She rose up on her elbows, making it easier for me to remove her bra. I nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses on her neck and between her heaving breasts. Our gazes briefly connected when I dipped my head and drew one perfectly erect nipple between my lips. She hissed and clamped her hand over the back of my head, telling me how much she loved having her breasts played with. I took my time, teasing and twisting each nipple between my fingers until she clawed at my waist, begging me to be inside her. I rolled a condom on and grasped the waistband of her panties, ripping them in half.
“Hope those weren’t your favorite pair,” I hissed before sliding all the way in one thrust.
Her pussy was tight, and I was already wound up from seeing her on her knees. I knew I wouldn’t last long, but I still wanted to make her feel good. Even if she would be sore the next day. Her mouth found mine, and she kissed me with the same ferocity as our fucking. Her tongue fought for control over mine as I pummeled her tiny body into the mattress. The bedframe rattled with every thrust, and Sophie cried my name, begging me to go faster. Deeper. I answered each command, driving so hard I feared the old bed would break apart and we’d end up on the floor.
“Baby, I can’t last much longer. Feels too damn good.”
“I’m there. I’m coming. Oh. My. God.” She clamped her teeth down on my shoulder, and I would have howled in pain if I hadn’t been so preoccupied with her pussy clamping around my engorged cock. The orgasm hit my lower back, and my balls drew tight against my body. I crushed my weight on top of her, filling the condom with my release and damn near blowing my own mind in the process.
“Holy fuck. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” I searched her face for any sign of pain, finding only a satisfied grin.
“I told you I wasn’t made of glass.”
I blew out a loud puff of air, trying to regulate my breathing. Steady my quivering legs. “Remind me again why we waited so long to do that.”
She pressed a finger to her lips, thinking. “I believe you were busy wooing.”
“Mmm hmm.” I nuzzled my scruff against her cheek. “There was that.” My dick had started to soften, but I was still inside her. I knew I better handle the condom, or we’d have a mess on our hands. “I’m just going to go clean up, maybe dance through the shower.”
She smiled a mischievous smile and asked, “Want company?”
“Thought you’d never ask.” I picked her up and walked us to the bathroom.
“How’d you get this?” she inquired as the tip of her finger traced the line of my scar.
“I was seventeen and thought I was invincible. Picked a fight with a guy over some girl. I used my fists. He used a knife.”
Her face contorted in a mixture of anger and concern. “That’s terrible. You could have been hurt, or even worse, killed.”
“I did get hurt.” I pointed to my scar and wiggled my eyebrows. “I also got the girl.”
“I guess that’s all that matters,” Sophie replied while rolling her eyes at the same time.
I stole a kiss that quickly became heated, and when we parted, I was ready to take her back to my bed, but I was curious about something. I angled her to where she was facing the shower wall and touched the dandelion she had tattooed on her right shoulder. The flower had gone to seed, and those seeds were blowing up and into the wind, transforming into birds as they rose. It reminded me of the tattoo I’d gotten when I was eighteen.
“What does this one mean?” She also had a couple of smaller tattoos, one on her toe and another on the inside of her wrist, that I’d already asked about. Since this was the first time I’d seen her completely naked, this one was new to me.
“Dare to Dream. Every single day, I wake up and glance at it because it reminds me to keep pushing, even on the days when I feel like giving up. I’ve worked really hard to make it in this industry, and all I want is my chance to shine. I guess that’s why this thing between us has been so important to me. I know our marriage is fake, but somehow, you’ve managed to make it seem real, and that in itself gives me hope. Hope that everything will work out in the end.”
“I’ve got news for you, Tiny. Our marriage may be fake, but my feelings for you are one hundred percent genuine. I don’t need a stupid piece of paper or Instagram post to tell me how badly I want th
is.”
She leaned her head against my chest and allowed the shower spray to dance off her shoulders. My cock lay heavy between us, reminding us we weren’t quite finished with our evening.
“What exactly do you want from me, Jared?” Her voice was timid, very unlike the woman I’d met weeks ago. I kissed her softly, wishing I could put into words everything I wanted to tell her.
“Everything. I want it all, Sophie.”
“What if I can’t give that to you? What then?”
I tipped her head back, needing to see her face when I laid my heart on the table. “I’ll take what I can get. I just want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I just want you to be happy.”
“Take me to bed, and I’ll be happy. We’ll figure out the rest later.”
CHAPTER 23
SOPHIE
The party was starting to wind down, and I still hadn’t had a chance to sit down with Hawk’s mama. I knew we were leaving early the next morning, so I wanted to take a minute not only to say congratulations but to also say thank you. Her family was kind and loving, and they’d welcomed me into their home with open arms.
“Congratulations. This party has been so much fun,” I told her as I leaned down to give her a hug.
She hugged me tightly before clasping my hands in hers and holding me at arm’s length, a warm smile across her face. “We’re very happy to have you here with us. It warms my heart to see Jared this happy.”
“Really? He strikes me as the kind of guy who’s always happy-go-lucky. In fact, I remember thinking that about him when we first met.”
Her grin widened, and she motioned for us to sit down. “That is true. He’s always had this inner peace about him, more so than any of my other children, but lately he’s been acting different. Not himself. I figured it had something to do with traveling and pressures of trying to make his mark in the music business. But then you came into his life, and I have my son back. Look at him over there.” She tipped her head in the direction of where Hawk was standing with his cousin. “All day long, he’s been grinning like a darn fool. That light he’s always had about him… You’ve somehow made it brighter. I don’t know what it is you’ve been doing—or if I even want to know—but whatever it is, keep doing it.”
I thought about the way he’d taken me last night and the things he’d whispered in my ear and agreed it was best if she didn’t know.
“Wow, thirty years. How do you do it?”
She gave a hearty laugh. “Painfully.” We both laughed at that, but then she glanced over at her husband, and the smile reached her eyes. “For thirty years, I’ve cooked and cleaned for that man. I’ve washed more dirty socks and picked countless wet towels up off the floor, and not a single day goes by when I don’t lay my head on the pillow at night and thank God for giving me that man. He makes me laugh, treats me with respect, and never fails to make me feel as beautiful today as I did the day we met.”
I felt a fluttering sensation low in my belly because she had just described the way Hawk treated me. I looked over at Hawk and then allowed my gaze to wander over to the table where his dad was sitting. I hadn’t really paid attention before, but looking at them now, I saw how much Hawk resembled him. Listening to his mama, it was clear the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.
“Have you given any thought to how all of this will end?”
“You mean if I get the part?”
“Yes. How does that work? Will you stage a separation? An ugly divorce?” The tone of her voice wasn’t judgmental; it was laced with so much concern for her son that I instantly regretted getting him involved in this stupid mess.
“I guess I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. We’ve just been having fun and getting to know one another a little better. Maybe I’ve been selfish, but your son appeared when I was at a very low point in my life. You mentioned that Jared’s light is shining brighter because of me, but I honestly think it’s the other way around. Before I met him, my life was a murky puddle, but now I look around, and all I see is an ocean of technicolor. Everything is brighter. More alive. He believes in me, and that makes it easier for me to start believing in myself again.”
“Sounds like maybe you don’t want it to end.”
I swallowed hard. “Would that be a bad thing?”
She laughed heartily and patted me on the hand. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Ask me again in thirty years when we’re celebrating your anniversary.”
I didn’t respond. How could I? I didn’t know what to say. But I couldn’t help wondering what that would look like. Hawk and me, married—for real this time—surrounded by our adult children and our parents, celebrating our love.
I couldn’t say for certain, but I was pretty sure my heart smiled.
Later, we were driving back to his parents’. The sun had just begun to set, and the sky still held a brilliant pinkish hue. I stole a glance in his direction and admired his profile. The scruff on his jaw. The shape of his mouth. The way his hair curled up at the base of his neck. I tried to picture what he’d look like in thirty years, and the image that came to mind was the actor Rob Lowe. He already favored him considerably, so it wasn’t too far of a stretch to envision myself kissing an older version of the man sitting next to me.
“I had a really nice time tonight. Thank you for inviting me.”
Hawk raised our clasped hands to his mouth, kissing mine. “I’m happy you came.”
“You have an amazing family. You’re very lucky. I’ve never told anyone this, but I always wanted a brother,” I admitted, envious of the bond he shared with his siblings.
“Huh. I’m surprised you didn’t want a sister.”
Curious, I asked. “Why do you say that?”
“More makeup and clothes to choose from,” he chuckled.
“Nah, I had Tori for that. She has always been more of a sister. Our moms have been best friends forever, so growing up, we were always together. We’ve been inseparable ever since. At least we used to be.”
His eyes narrowed in question. “What’s changed?”
“Her world revolves around Dylan now, and I get it, I truly do. It just feels like everything in my life is changing, and some days get to me a little more than others.” I shrugged, hating myself for the way I sounded.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
I suddenly had an idea. “Would you like to come with me to Mama’s house? I know she’d love to meet you.”
“Of course, I’ll go with you.” He glanced out the window before looking back at me and snickering.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking how funny it is that we’re home this weekend, playing at being married, meeting each other’s parents. Doing things that actual married people do. I don’t know. I guess it just sounded funny when I thought of it that way.” He shrugged a solid shoulder as his thumbs tapped out a beat on the steering wheel.
“Turn here,” I said, pointing to the road ahead. “Fifth driveway on your ri—” I stopped talking when I saw a familiar BMW parked in the driveway.
What the hell was he doing there?
Hawk had barely pulled in the driveway when I jumped out of the car and dashed toward the front door.
“Sophie! Slow down. Tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded once he’d caught up with me.
I scowled and pointed a finger at the flashy sports car. “That’s my dad’s car, which means he’s inside.”
He grabbed hold of me and pulled me close. “Honey, I know how upsetting all of this has been for you. But why don’t you try to calm down, and then we can go in there and face them together? I promise I’ll be by your side the entire time.”
“You don’t understand. I’ve spent my entire life idolizing my dad. Do you have any idea how hard it will be to face him without wanting to smack him senseless?”
“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but why don’t you just try listening to him? Maybe he’s here
because he realized he made a mistake.”
“Hmpf,” I grumbled. “I can’t make any promises.”
Mama answered the door and immediately pulled me in for a hug. “It’s so good to see you, sweetheart. Who is this handsome young man?”
“Mama, this is Jared.” I stepped back and granted Mama space to greet Jared properly.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Banks.”
Mama beamed and flashed me a grin. “Such a gentleman. But please, call me Chloe.” Then she turned to me and whispered, “He’s so handsome.”
A blush crept over his cheeks, and he slipped his hand protectively over mine. “Thank you. I hope we’re not intruding. We were on our way home from my parents’ party when Sophie suggested we stop by.”
“Nonsense. No intrusion at all. Come in. Come in. Your father is in the kitchen. I know he’d love to see you.”
“What is he doing here?” I hissed.
“He lives here,” Daddy bellowed from the kitchen.
I shot Mama a look before stomping down the hall. I had every intention of marching into that kitchen and giving him a piece of my mind, but when I saw his face, my knees trembled, and I lost all resolve. Hawk must have been watching me closely because he was at my side in a flash, holding me up so I wouldn’t topple over.
Daddy stepped forward like he wanted to give me a hug but then thought better of it. I’m sure the look on my face was a mixture of hurt and confusion and a whole lot of anger. Trouble was, I didn’t want to be angry with him. I just wanted to understand.
I did my best to tamp down my emotions and cocked a hip against the counter, aiming for nonchalant. “I thought you’d moved out.”
Daddy’s gaze shifted momentarily to Mama before he made his way over to where I stood. “I think your mother and I are still trying to figure a few things out. Listen, Peanut, I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But I want you to know that regardless what happens, I will never stop loving you, and I will always be your biggest fan. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me because I can’t stand knowing I’ve disappointed you,” he stated with tears in his eyes, and when his voice cracked at the end, I launched myself at him. My nose was buried in his chest, and his arms were wrapped tightly around me. I inhaled deeply, savoring his familiar scent. ‘Daddy Smells’ was the name I’d always called it.