by Mary Alford
My grandfather sat quietly talking to Zoey and her daughter, but I found I had to walk away. The pain and the heartbreak in those two young people’s lives came too close to my own tragic past.
Grandpa Harry acknowledged my need to escape with only a slight nod. He knew why I needed to leave. My grandfather would know that I needed to be alone.
It was only after I was out of the building and by myself again, my breathing coming in deep gasps along with my tears, that I realized I wasn’t alone. Aaron had followed me.
“Are you okay? What is it? What’s wrong?” Aaron asked with concern.
“Those two. Zoey and her daughter. How could he just leave them and never even consider what their lives might be like without him? How can a father just walk away from his child like that? What will happen to them after today? They have no place to go. No home. They’re living on the streets!”
I was sobbing and trying to hide my tears when Aaron gathered me close. He didn’t say a single word to me for a long time. He simply held me and let me cry until there were no more tears left in me.
There was a good person under that polished, untouchable exterior. A man I don’t think even Aaron knew existed, but one I’d seen glimpses of so many times before.
For me, the rest of the day was hard to get through. Two innocent people had touched my heart and made me embarrassed by my behavior. Zoey had forgiven her husband for leaving her and her daughter alone. I was still holding on to all of my anger and resentment for my father like a shield, using it to keep the world around me from getting too close to my pain. Why couldn’t I let go of it all and forgive myself as well as my father?
After my grandfather finished his sermon Sunday morning, I noticed Zoey and Emily dressed in new dresses, making their way down to the front of the church to talk to my grandfather.
Before my grandfather dismissed the congregation with a prayer, he told us all that Zoey wanted to say a few words to everyone.
The young woman stood with Emily clinging to her side and smiled that beautiful smile of hers. The one that had taken my breath away and made me ashamed of my own resentment. Zoey’s smile came as natural as her forgiveness. As I listened to her soft voice speak, I felt a little of my anger for my father melt away.
“Yesterday, something wonderful happened to me and my daughter. Someone gave us a house! I still can’t believe it’s real! But Pastor Beckett assures me that it is even if it hasn’t sunk in yet. Someone who the pastor tells me wants to remain anonymous but who I pray is here today to hear me say just how much they have changed our lives. You have no idea what you’ve done for us. This person heard about my daughter and me and how we’ve just recently become homeless, and they gave us a beautiful three-bedroom house fully furnished and fully stocked. There’s more food in there than either of us have seen in a long time. So you see, I wanted to come here today to tell that person we can never ever express to you just how grateful we are. You have no idea how much this means to us. You saved our lives. I’d lost touch with God and the church for such a long time, but you were brought into our lives to show us that God still works his miracles. And he’s never stopped loving us. He answered our prayers through you.” Zoey’s voice broke a little over the tears she wasn’t try to hold back.
Seated at the old piano I’d played most of my life, I realized that I, too, was crying. In my heart, I knew who was responsible for Zoey’s answered prayer.
After the congregation left, I sat alone trying desperately to understand Aaron. I was still sitting there when the man of my thoughts slid into the pew next to me. He didn’t say a word but I knew he was watching me.
“It was you, wasn’t it? You did this wonderful thing for Zoey and her daughter.” I glanced his way, but I couldn’t make out his expression. Aaron stared straight ahead without saying a word.
“Why, Aaron?”
I saw the truth in his eyes long before he answered my question.
“Because I could. Because it was the right thing to do. Because of you,” he added quietly. “I saw how their story affected you. I wanted to help them because of you.”
I brushed aside the tears I just couldn’t seem to keep from falling and told him, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“She reminds you of yourself, doesn’t she? Emily, I mean.”
“Yes, yes she does. I was lucky. I had grandparents there to lean on, but Zoey and Emily weren’t so lucky. Until you. You’ve done a wonderful thing in their lives, Aaron. I just hope you realize how wonderful.”
It was a long time before he answered me, but when he did, his words took me by surprise. “Coming here with you wasn’t what I expected. I didn’t come here for strictly good reasons, but I have to admit spending time with your grandparents and with you, well you’ve made me see things in a different light. I never thought about other people and their needs the way that you and your grandparents do. Now I understand. I see something of what you see. There are people out there hurting, and I’m able to help. I have to admit, it’s a good feeling for a change. Doing something good in someone’s life.”
Chapter Twelve
It was so hard to say good-bye to my grandparents. I didn’t say anything for a long time on the drive back to Austin but Aaron understood. He didn’t press me to talk.
On the outskirts of Austin, our silence was broken by the sound of my cell phone. I recognized the number immediately. It was Deb.
“Grace, guess what? You’re not going to believe what happened to me over Thanksgiving dinner at Brian’s parents’ house.”
“What?” I glanced over to see Aaron’s curious expression before mouthing, it’s just Deb.
“Brian asked me to marry him! I’m getting married!” I let out a squeal that almost sent Aaron swerving off the road before I held the phone away and apologized to him. All the while Deb was busy asking me who I was talking to, and I was trying to figure out how to answer.
I could just say no one and feel like a heel because I was treating Aaron, the man I’d spent my holiday with, so carelessly, or I could tell Deb the truth and have to answer a hundred unwanted questions. I hedged and hesitated so long that she finally guessed the truth.
“It’s Aaron, isn’t it? Did you spend the weekend with our boss?”
“No! Well, no. At least, not like you mean anyway…” I hoped my tone would be enough to warn her, but Deb seemed to have forgotten all about her purpose for calling.
“Oh, I knew it! I just knew there was something going on between you two!”
I decided it was time to put an end to the call. “I’ll call you back when I get home, okay? That way you can tell me all about the proposal.” I didn’t wait to hear her answer. I just ended the call and faced Aaron.
“Deb’s getting married.” I would not cry in front of such an unemotional man. “Brian proposed over Thanksgiving dinner at his parents’ house. I can’t believe my best friend is getting married. I’m so happy for her.”
“So why are you about to cry? Isn’t getting engaged supposed to be a good thing? That’s what everyone says anyway. Why do you look sad? I mean, after all, it can’t be because you want to get married yourself, because you’ve certainly told me enough times that you never plan on going down that road. What’s wrong, Grace? Are you upset?”
He was so close to guessing my secrets, but there was no way I could ever tell him the truth. I wasn’t crying because Deb was getting married. In fact, my sadness had nothing at all to do with her. Hearing Deb’s happiness had just brought it all back to me. What my grandmother and I had talked about just a few days earlier. I’d never get married. Never have kids. Never share my life with someone who knew me better than I knew myself. For the first time in my life, that hurt.
To cover my pain in the face of the searching look he was giving me, I went on the defensive. “What about you? Do you ever plan to marry? After all, you are getting up there in years.” I wanted to take his focus off me before he had time to guess
the truth.
“Me? No, I don’t think I’m husband material.”
“Why not? You can’t stop dating all those women you’ve convinced yourself you’re not in a relationship with long enough to commit to just one?”
“I told you those are rumors. I’m surprised you, of all people, would listen to such things. Even more surprised that you’d believed them. But I guess in a way you’re right. I can’t see myself tied to one woman for any length of time.”
I pretended to look out the window at the city around us, but I wanted to cry.
“I see…”
“Besides.” Aaron seemed oblivious to my emotional state. “My work is my commitment. I love my job, and it takes up so much of my time. There isn’t anything left over for a commitment with anyone.”
“That’s such a cop-out, Aaron. Why don’t you just tell me the truth? You enjoy all those games you play with women. You love the chase. It’s all about the hunt for you, isn’t it? It’s true in business, and it’s certainly true in the way you approach dating. Once you’ve gotten them, you’re no longer interested, are you? It’s all a game to you.”
“Maybe, if by game you mean physical satisfaction, then you’re right, Grace, and don’t look at me like that. Don’t try forcing your standards on me. We aren’t anything alike, you know.”
Aaron was good at not giving anything away, but he was right about one thing. We weren’t anything alike. I was an open book no matter how hard I tried to come across differently or keep people away. It was easy to read all of my doubts and uncertainties.
“So what happens when you wake up one day and you’re eighty years old and all alone?”
“Well, then I guess I’ll get married.”
I didn’t like his answer. Aaron’s flippant response left me even angrier with him. Did he ever take anything seriously? And was he the same guy who had showed so much generosity to Zoey and her daughter? At this moment, it was hard to imagine.
By the time we pulled into my apartment parking lot, I just wanted to get away from my dangerous distraction. Unfortunately, Aaron insisted on doing the gentlemanly thing and escorting me to my door.
He took my bag from me and walked beside me up the steps to my apartment.
It was a rainy night in Austin, and I was as sad and dreary as the skies above.
“Have dinner with me tonight. I’m sure you don’t have a thing to eat at your place. Why don’t you come home with me and let me make you dinner?”
Tell him no. Tell him there’s absolutely no way you’re going anywhere with him, my conscience literally screamed those words a thousand times while my mouth seemed to have a will of its own. It had me agreeing easily without any further persuasion on his part.
“Good. Why don’t you pack something to wear to work tomorrow and we’ll ride in together?”
Why Aaron wanted to spend time with me, I wasn’t sure, but all I could think about was that I’d have him to myself for a little while longer. My conscience might be screaming, Get rid of him! but my heart wanted to pretend I stood a chance at mattering just a little to someone like Aaron.
“You know, as I recall, you owe me,” Aaron told me later after he’d made dinner and we sat in front of the fireplace in his living room drinking coffee. I’d learned my lesson with wine.
“What are you talking about?” I asked him when I could do so without blushing like a foolish girl.
“Well, if you remember, you told me I couldn’t spend an entire weekend without working. Well it’s almost midnight, and I haven’t even thought about work yet. So I’d say that qualifies as you owing me, wouldn’t you?”
“What do you want?” I tried to keep my voice steady as I said those words.
Aaron laughed at my innocence before getting to his feet. “I’ll have to think about that one. Yeah, I’ll have to think hard about that one.”
I hate to say it, but I’d all but forgotten about Deb until she walked into my office the following morning. I sat weeding through the mountains of e-mails and meeting requests forwarded to me by Sally when Deb stopped in front of me.
“I thought you were going to call me last night,” she said, taking her usual seat across the desk from me. Her gaze locked on my expression, not missing my attempt at evading her.
She knew something was up.
“I meant to, Deb, but by the time I got home and unpacked I was beat.” I literally groaned inside at having lied to my best friend. What was wrong with me?
Deb wasn’t buying my little story one little bit. “Uh-huh. Sorry, you’re not getting off that easy. But look at this!” She held up the most perfect diamond ring I’d seen. I grabbed her hand and held the rock up to the light on my desk for a better inspection.
With a heavy sigh, I released her hand. “Deb, it’s gorgeous. You are so lucky.”
Aaron walked in to ask me something, and immediately I was on edge.
“Hey, Deb. I heard you got one of those.” Aaron came round my desk to stand next to me. Too close for comfort. He admired Deb’s ring while she watched our body language. She knew me well enough to know how I was reacting to his nearness. She saw all of it in the way I held myself perfectly still next to him.
“Nice. Brian’s a lucky guy. Sorry to interrupt your gossip session, but Grace, I wanted to see if you could try again to get Elise’s assistant to agree to a meeting. I’m thinking for the time being that it should be just myself and possibly you there to take notes. We don’t want to scare her off, but I want to get this settled before we lose the contract.”
“Sure, I’ll get started right away.” I was rewarded with another one of Aaron’s charming smiles that made me weak in the knees before leaving us alone.
“Wow, I’m so jealous! Working with a good-looking man every single day. It must be sheer heaven, huh?”
“Deb, he’ll hear you,” I tried to shush her, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“Oh, and since when do you care if a guy thinks you’re interested in him or not?”
She started laughing when she caught my reaction. “What’s going on between you two? And please don’t tell me you are just friends because I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Nothing is going on. Absolutely nothing. You know how I feel,” I repeated without much enthusiasm.
“Yeah and I know how you’re acting right now too. Like a woman who’s definitely interested in a guy.”
I gave her my best angry look but she wasn’t moved enough to leave. “I’ve got to try and reach this client for Aaro—Mr. Severn. They’re threatening to pull their business by the end of the year. This could be bad.”
“Okay, but we’re having lunch today, and I’m getting the whole story out of you. So don’t even think about trying to back out of it.”
Deb left me in peace so I could try to compose my best secretarial voice before calling Elise’s assistant.
The woman had pretty much blown me off on all previous five attempts at getting Aaron on her boss’s calendar. Today was an entirely different story.
“Well, hello. How was your holiday?” I was so surprised by her change in attitude, I almost dropped the phone and just barely managed to keep it from clanging against my desk.
“Good…” I managed to say while I tried to understand the new, friendlier demeanor.
“Oh good. I’m so glad you called because I was just getting ready to give you a call myself. Elise has been after me to set up that time your boss requested. That was the first thing she said this morning when she came in. ‘Get me time with Aaron Severn.’ Do you think Mr. Severn would have some time later today?”
Of course, Aaron would be willing to adjust his schedule. I wasn’t sure what had caused the sudden change of behavior in Elise or her assistant. They’d been determined to write LoneStar off entirely. Would he be walking into some type of an ambush?
“We can do whatever time works for Elise. How about three?”
“Three will be perfect. I’ll let her know. Who
shall I say will be attending along with Mr. Severn?”
“Just Mr. Severn and myself. He would like to keep this first meeting informal.”
“Perfect. I’ll let Elise know to expect you both then.”
After I’d hung up, I still wasn’t any closer to understanding what was behind all of the new enthusiasm on Elise’s or her assistant’s part.
Aaron wasn’t nearly as concerned.
“Great. That’s fantastic. I don’t know how you did it, and I certainly don’t care to speculate on what’s going on in Elise’s mind. We’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”
Over lunch, I told Deb about the sudden change in temperature from the Ice Queen, as we’d jokingly dubbed Elise, who preferred to be called by her first name of all things.
“Oh, come on. You have to know the reason. The woman has gotten a look at Aaron and seen what’s she’s been missing. Elise is notorious for going through men. Watch out, honey. You’d better protect your interests with her.”
“I told you I don’t have any interests to protect. Aaron is my boss and my friend. That’s all.”
“Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself as much.”
“Look, can’t we talk about you for a change? I’m sick of talking about Aaron. When are you and Brian getting married?”
Deb gave me one of her little “I know what you’re trying to do” looks, but she was still in engagement bliss and more than happy to discuss her upcoming marriage over me.
“Christmas Eve. I’ve always wanted to get married on Christmas Eve.”
“This Christmas Eve? As in one month from now?” I asked in astonishment.