You brought me to a devastating climax, my loved one, and now I cannot stop thinking of that complete union of our beings that makes me so intensely happy.
You see, darling, we shall soon need the wonderful toy we dream of having. Given that my suggestion does not appeal to you, given that you do not want me to find a handsome, well-hung lover for you, I want you to use me to create the illusion for you. For almost a year now I have managed to bugger you every time we have been together, but I know how far from real the sensations I give you are. And that upsets me terribly, for I should really like to be the wonderful, tireless male lover whose memory would dog your thoughts day and night.
My dear love, have you thought what my embraces would be like if I had an impressive member strapped around my middle and a magnificent pair of balls between my legs? It would be easy for me to change sex, and then I could lie down on the bed and offer you my stiff cock, which you could take into your avid mouth while you stroked my beautiful balls.
Once you are truly aroused by these ministrations, I would lovingly straddle your body and wrap my strong arms around you, I would bugger you with my big dick, plying it into you up to the balls. And you are most likely aware that these devices can create the even more extraordinary illusion of sperm being discharged. A bit of warm water is all it takes to replace that sublime liquor that I should like to see flowing freely between your buttocks.
I can already imagine the astonishing positions we shall adopt. And I am sure you will then be mine forever, for I shall no longer be afraid of anyone. You will be left drained by my spirited attentions manifested in still more audacious ministrations than I give you now. I adore you, you know that, and I want to give you maximum pleasure so that it never even occurs to you to leave me. Who could take possession of your ardent flesh better than me, my Lottie, tell me that? If you want, you can give me the means to take it still more fully, and then you will see what a wonderful man I can become for you.
I shall leave you to think about this idea and someday soon you yourself will probably strap a monstrous prick around my middle so that it can drive all the way into your intimate flesh, which I do so adore, just as yours did into me yesterday.
I know you like being buggered, I know this more fully than you do yourself, for no one can feel as I do the way your flesh contracts around my tongue. And I know with a dildo like that you would have the hallucinatory sensations afforded by a beautiful male cock voluptuously discharging into your ass.
And I too could satisfy my passion by fucking myself ardently without fear of tiring you with successive couplings.
I want no other mistress and you want no other man. My darling, we love each other enough to use all the means at our disposal to achieve whatever excesses these third parties might do for us, don’t you think?
Yes, together we shall act out scenes of debauchery, perhaps this winter. Our depravity is becoming all-consuming, I can feel it. We shall never escape its clutches. But surely that depravity is the only reason our union is so lasting? Without it, we would have wearied of the usual ministrations, thanks to it we are bound to each other and nothing could separate us but a mutual loss of interest. But we are finding more pleasure than ever together, and only yesterday I realized that everything is still just as ardent as at the start of our romance.
But I want you to belong to me even more fully, my darling love. I want to take you relentlessly, and I shall work at that with the full force of my tenderness, which is boundless.
Yes, starting on Monday, we can see each other every evening and that makes me very happy, for I could not go on any longer apart from you, my tender darling. I should like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for thinking of escorting me home every evening, for I was sad to think we might not be able to spend just a few, alas very brief, moments alone together.
There, my loved one, this is a very long letter. Shall I have a reply on Monday evening? I shall telephone on Monday morning when I arrive at the office. I adore you and send you passionate kisses, my entrancing little Lottie.
Simone
WEDNESDAY, FIVE O’CLOCK
My dear beloved,
You must be arriving in Nice as I write, after a good journey, I hope.
Meanwhile, I am alone, desperately alone under rainy skies that are chilling my poor heart! I was already feeling very sad, and this morning I carried out a painful duty. I went to the graveyard with a friend of mine (you know, the “woman with the turban”). The man she has been with for ten years has died. She had to wait till the “other woman” (because alas there is also an “other woman”) had left the graveside before she could say her final farewell! What a dismal task it was, giving my poor friend support. And what a painful situation is ours, the mistresses who live in the margins of your lives, when you are the ones we adore! I am not very cheerful, my dear beloved, as you can see. But how could I be when I feel such pain, such pain inside?
My little one, my darling whom I love, why did you leave me, even if only for a week? You obviously don’t know the emptiness you leave behind. And yet you do know, for I never stop telling you I love you! Especially as yesterday we were together. Once more the door closed behind us, and we gave ourselves to each other with the same insatiable desire. Yesterday I held your adorable body in my arms! Do you remember, my dear treasure? You read my letter avidly, with your cock already rearing with ardent longing. My mouth sucked at it lovingly and my swift, deft tongue ran from your balls to its red head. I dotted kisses all along your member. And you had a formidable erection. Then, turning to your ass, I had the audacity to push the tip of my big pink nipple into it! I pleasured you with that little button. I think it even went a little way inside! My tongue also probed your thrilling flesh and you were already climaxing.
I have relived our heavenly embraces in my dreams and I saw your dick imprisoned between my breasts again. I made a necklace of warm flesh for him, and you rubbed back and forth between my breasts while I pushed them together, then a jet of sperm drenched me and I spread it all over my breasts, much to your delight!
Tell me soon how you felt about this new way of finding pleasure, my dear beloved. Did you savor it fully? Tell me, was it “dirty” enough watching that pink head emerging from my opulent globes? And when your come squirted out, oh the glow of debauchery in your swooning eyes! Which coupling do you like best, tell me? You know plenty now! You have come right down my throat, you have offloaded in my big ass, you have tugged yourself off before my eyes and you have drenched my body with your come. Lastly, yesterday, you inaugurated this new method that, I think, did not displease you! Which will you choose next time? Tell me soon, my dear treasure!
Another appalling week to get through far from you, far from your arms! I am so sad at the thought of heading off alone every evening without you by my side! I have grown so accustomed to our daily ritual that I have no idea how to organize my life if I don’t see you! This evening I shall rush home early for I have the most terrible chagrin to overcome. I shall slink off to a quiet corner of the house and reread your last two letters, while I wait to receive more!
My dear love, don’t abandon me, don’t leave me. If you knew just how utterly I am yours you would understand my isolation. You are everything to me. Apart from you, I have nothing to love like that. Swear to me that you still love me just as much, tell me, my dear treasure!
I was happy you allowed me to come and see you yesterday evening, even though I was sad to watch you leave. Did I not have your last kiss, your last smile, your last wave? Ah! How I love you, how I do love you. A love like that cannot possibly ever end, and you will always be a part of me, for you are my first, my true love! Nothing before you counts. After you? Ah! Better not to think yet about after you, for it would be so devastating if you ever said anything final that it makes me shudder from head to foot. Yes, it would have to come from you. You yourself would suffer so little that I would have no regrets. Can a man suffer? No, and anyway, are we not here
to pick up the injured bird?
Whereas, can you see, it would abysmal for me? Oh, my loved one, come back soon and clasp me to you in a wonderful embrace. Come back soon to take relentless possession of my body, which yields to your caresses! Look, I am waiting for you. I am naked under the covers, with my thighs spread as they were yesterday. Come and fuck me, my dear love, come quickly! Oh yes, that’s good like that. Make me come, make me come. I spray all my come over your cock, you darling bastard. Is it good, tell me, is it good?
Ah! No, there is nothing to compare to the intensity of that coupling. And to think that for sixteen months I scorned it! But you will help me make up for lost time, won’t you, dear beloved, and that is how you will love me from now on.
I also hope I shall soon have a long letter from you! Let your heart speak, my love, given that you love me! You know how charming I find your sweet tender words, and how happy I am when I read your letters. Tell me what I mean to you, and how much pleasure it gives you taking my depraved body! What ministrations am I best at giving you, my beloved darling?
I shall write without fail tomorrow and on Saturday I shall probably be able to reply to your letter! Tell me when you will be back, my loved one, and if you are utterly and completely adorable you will let me know what time you will arrive so I can come to collect you.
You granted me the sadness of your leaving, tell me, won’t you grant me the joy of your return? Goodbye, my big darling boy, I shall stop now, till tomorrow! Will you cast a quick eye over my big ass this evening before you go to sleep? Come back as soon as possible, for I long to see you again, my loved one. And write me a letter or two, I’m so lonely!
Sending passionate kisses to every inch of your glorious body! Be good, stay faithful to me for a week at least!!!
I adore you, my dear darling.
Simone
MONDAY, 4:30 P.M.
My darling love,
Two more hours and I shall finally set off to be reunited with you. I really cannot wait to kiss your beloved lips passionately, and time goes so slowly without you.
I have been incredibly preoccupied since this morning, my loved one, because when I woke I was still caught up in my dream from last night and I just cannot shake off the thought of it.
Listen….
We were in a huge apartment, me, you and another young man. We were drinking copious amounts of champagne and the three of us were naked. You started stroking me lovingly, your cock straining with violent longing, while our friend sucked furiously at your ass. All of a sudden you were lying full length on some cushions and he was sucking your cock while I pleasured him vigorously with my hand. Meanwhile, you had your head between my thighs, drinking my free-flowing juices.
Then you turned and reciprocated the attention on him. His glorious prick disappeared between your lips and I pleasured your cock just as powerfully as I had his, while I plied my cunt with my other hand.
Then he and I set each other a challenge, to be the one to make you come. Who would do it best? So next came this extraordinary scene: Our young friend drove his rigid prick into you, and I watched him buggering you. I was crazed with jealousy but you did not come under his brutal attentions. And then I noticed an enormous dildo under the table. I picked it up and immediately started buggering you with it myself. I kept my stomach pressed up against your ass and drove the magnificent member into your hole while my hand worked expertly on your prick. You shuddered strangely and did not ask for mercy. Twice, three times I took you like that, and soon you collapsed onto the divan, overwhelmed.
I woke this morning very disturbed by this outrageous dream and have not stopped thinking about it since. I want to make it come true, when can I? Let’s talk about it this evening, can we?
I adore you, my loved one, I shall see you soon, but I want your ass all to myself, and not be forced to give it to anyone else…unless that really is what you want!
Simone
THURSDAY, 14 NOVEMBER 1929
My great love,
Before anything else you must forgive this morning’s letter and tear it up. I do not want to leave any trace of my absurd jealousy, which suddenly erupts despite my best efforts. I want to stop tormenting you, my dear darling, and although, alas, I may continue to suffer, you will hear no more of my heart’s laments, and you can believe I am finally cured of this evil, which gnaws at me stealthily. Yes, I have faith in you, I have faith in your love, and I ask only one thing, that you keep your softest caresses and your wildest embraces for me, and when you are in my arms you are the depraved and passionate lover I have created for myself, and for myself alone.
I adore you, my dear love, you are my whole life, and my body will know no other touch but yours. So long as you love me, I shall be yours, I swear it.
Will tomorrow be the day we can be together at last, when we can melt into each other in one of those couplings that drains us by so utterly fulfilling us? I can feel an imperious craving for your body rising within me, and I want to love you more wildly than ever. These long days apart have whipped all my senses into a paroxysm of longing, and I can tell I shall throw myself on you tomorrow, succumbing to the full ardor of my desire. And, darling, you will give me that beautiful body that I adore. I have not laid eyes on it for a week, and I have a burning need to smother it with delirious kisses.
I am not yet sure how this sensational hour will end. How would you like to come, my love? Shall I provide a warm haven for your cock between my breasts? Would you like me to swallow your come? Or will you bugger your darling little bitch? Or perhaps you will pleasure your beautiful prick before her eyes and sully her swooning body with hot, cloying sperm. We cannot predict that final moment, and we can decide nothing in advance, for it will all depend on what powers of resistance we have tomorrow after an hour of demented couplings. We shall be truly exhausted but I shall still have the strength to make you offload furiously. You must tell me how you want me to take you, with my breasts, my mouth, or my ass, and I shall give myself entirely to you.
You must love me with all your might, Charles, to prove that your desire is as keen as it always has been, and that you are deliriously happy in my arms.
I am waiting impatiently for our tryst, when I can make you offload uncontrollably. I have never been such a dirty bitch as I am now, and my longing for you is wilder than ever. You will discover that for yourself tomorrow.
I am alone in the little room where we once loved each other so frenziedly, do you remember, and as I write, I am stroking my button with one firm finger, and I can feel it swelling and preparing to climax. A boundless exhilaration steals over my whole body, and I would finish the deed if I did not plan to save all this come, and give it to you tomorrow. You will make it spray out with your skilled tongue, and your cock will find every last drop in the depths of my cunt, won’t it, my darling love? You will fuck me furiously, and my thighs are spreading of their own accord at the thought of the wonderful sensations you give me. Oh, I love you, you are an incomparable lover and I want to keep you forever and ever.
Till this evening, my beloved love, but even more so, till tomorrow. I adore you, dear lover. Fuck me hard.
Simone
Very unusually, this last letter is dated—14 November 1929. This dating could possibly be explained by the fact that this is an anniversary of sorts: The letter comes seventeen months after Simone’s affair with Charles began (we know from a previous letter that they met on 14 June 1928), so perhaps, miscalculating, Simone had this marked as their year and a half anniversary. This is an indication of the extreme importance Simone attaches to the passage of time endorsing a relationship that she knows is fragile.
This is three weeks after the Crash of 1929, which was to throw Europe into chaos and launch mankind toward the Second World War; but Simone is not concerned with outside events. Her only focus of interest is her relationship with Charles, and her correspondence reveals only fragmentary snatches of her life, confining itself to this all-consuming pas
sion.
THURSDAY, TEN O’CLOCK
My loved one,
You will not be surprised to hear I was filled with emotion when I reread the letter I had skimmed through all too quickly in your presence. Deciphering those perverse and passionate words a second time ignited such feverish desire that I was unable to get to sleep until well into the night. Unfortunately, it was impossible for me to assuage my rutting senses, for the current arrangements forbid me any freedom. Besides, I prefer it thus, for tomorrow I shall give you all the reserves of vigorous longing I have within me, and it will be your fierce kisses that make me die with pleasure.
So, my dear love, you have agreed to accept the ultimate experience I dream of providing for you. Yes, I confess, such a scene would be a tempting sight for the passionate mistress that I am, and I feel sure it will afford me a rare delight to see you succumbing to the assaults of a valiant male. But you know, to achieve this we shall need an evening of pure madness, an evening when we are both inflamed and overexcited…For I am still not sure I would have the strength to surrender you to anyone in cold blood. I promised I would let you have this perverse sensation, but I cannot make up my mind. One evening when you are free, completely free, we shall go together to find a handsome lover worthy of taking your thrilling body, and before my eyes you will offer up your ass to his hard cock. I can picture the scene in astonishing detail: The man is lying quite naked. You suck avidly at his limp cock, which soon responds to your ardent kisses and rears its proud head, and when it is perfectly ready, you then take his place. You lie your glorious body down on the bed. Resting your head between your arms and with your thighs raised, you reach your little brown hole toward this muscular male. He straddles your body and, gripping your shoulders the better to hold his prey, he gives one brutal thrust and drives his triumphant member into your vanquished flesh. He’s buggering you, my Charles, this handsome lover you have dreamed of finding is buggering you, and you can feel his full round balls knocking between your thighs. Your body contracts and shudders to this devastating sensation. I have at last allowed you to realize your wildest longing, and I welcome back into my arms a lover exhausted and conquered, still gasping from his extraordinary climax.
The Passion of Mademoiselle S. Page 13