What on earth was he planning?
A minute later we were outside in the cool air again, walking in the opposite direction of the tent, walking toward the ocean.
~ CHAPTER 38 ~
OLIVER
Under no circumstances was I staying on the couch in the same house as all those fucking people—including the groom my girlfriend used be in love with. Instead I was forced to make do. Which was damn annoying.
All I could think about was the island. Maybe we’d been starving there, but the way I had Luce completely to myself had felt like our own personal bubble. The hotel last night felt similar. I needed to recreate that feeling again tonight. Possibly every night from here on out.
So I grabbed all the blankets and pillows I could find, and with the help of the flashlight on my new phone, I led her in the direction of the beach.
The air was bitter, but not freezing. When we reached sand, I begun setting up a cocoon of covers for us to sleep in. I started with the sleeping bag on the bottom.
This wasn’t the Bahamas. There weren’t a zillion bugs or mosquitos. Just cold air, a sky full of stars, and one round moon. When I finished with the covers, I kicked off my shoes. She kicked off hers and we crawled in under the nest. I pulled the thickest cover over our heads.
“So much better,” I said as I pulled her against me, breathing in the same air as she. “If the cold is too much, we go can back. But I wanted you to myself even if it was only for a few minutes.”
I found my phone and hit the button to turn the flashlight on again. I dropped it behind my back. It gave the top of our cover tent a small glow, just enough light for me to see her face. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold on the walk over. So I cupped my hands over her face, working on warming her up. “Better?”
She nodded.
“I get it if it’s in the past and not something you want to talk about. But what happened between you and Rhett? Was he your boyfriend?”
She cleared her throat. “Um. No. Not even close.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” I immediately regretted going there. I shouldn’t have brought him into the conversation. I could tell by the strain in her voice it wasn’t her favorite topic.
“No, if you’re curious about it, I don’t care. I’ll tell you whatever.”
“I don’t know if ‘curious’ is the right word. But yeah, I want to know more about you so I want to know about this.”
She moved her body a little closer to mine, tucking herself in close against my chest. Maybe she did it for warmth, but it assured me that my question hadn’t been inappropriate. “I’d been working at Chancy’s Claw a few months when he started. He had this addictive personality where literally every woman who walked in the door gravitated to him like a magnet. Me included. One day after work, we kissed and ended up having sex in his car like a minute later. I couldn’t control myself. It all happened pretty fast. Then it happened again the next night and every night for a full week. There wasn’t much conversation there. I never asked him if it was only with me, even though I knew he had a huge history of sleeping around. Well, then one of the other girls at work told me that she’d been with Rhett several times, too. Same week. I ended it.”
“And you remained friends?” I asked with an anger I didn’t expect bubbling inside me. How could anyone be casual with someone as special as Luce? It pissed me off that he didn’t treat her with more respect than that.
“Yeah. I was hurt. But the transition to friends was easy. Well, maybe easy because I made it easy, but secretly I’d fallen for him somewhere in the mess.” She spoke into my chest. “I hated that feeling,” she muttered. “That unreturned, unrequited, hopeless feeling. It lasted for years and it ruined any other relationship I tried. It made me bitter. I had to watch him as he fell in love with Sydney more and more each day. I had to hear about it as he spoke about her all the time. Love is supposed to be a good thing, right, and it felt like a disease inside me I couldn’t get rid of.”
“Like a cancer,” I finished.
“Yeah.” Her voice quivered.
I ached for her. I wanted to erase the lingering pain I could tell she still felt. “I hope you aren’t comparing me to Rhett in any way,” I told her. “Because I’m not him. I’m not an idiot.” I took a breath. “I knew the moment I saw you there was something I wanted to be close to. I’ve never seen a person and felt that before you. I’ve never wanted to drop everything in my life the way I want to for you.”
“That’s how I was with him. And it’s fucking scary when the other person doesn’t want the same.”
My hands were shaking. That was my fear. Did she want the same with me? She said it was love, but maybe I needed it to be greater than love. I needed the crazy stuff.
I wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Not with my heart trying to beat itself to death against my ribs.
“Oliver,” she whispered.
“Yeah.” I tried to hide the emotion in my voice. I think I managed to speak evenly.
“I need you. I need you to make love to me now. And fucking remind me in the morning to track down a Plan B pill because we can’t keep being reckless like this.” She squeezed my hand. “Okay? Promise?”
Oh, she didn’t know. I forgot I hadn’t told her. I was sterile. I’d made that choice for myself about a year ago, and I’d had a vasectomy. But that whole thing wasn’t a conversation I wanted to get into right this moment. I came inside her last night. If she needed me, then I planned on doing the same again right now.
~ CHAPTER 39 ~
LUCE
Why was I so nervous? We’d already slept together. But as I flat out asked Ollie to be with me, I felt all jittery. He moved under the covers, working off his jacket. Then he worked off his pants. His warm hands brushed across my skin and helped me wiggle out of my clothes, too. It wasn’t an easy task under the weight of all these covers.
When we finished, he was naked, and I was naked. But we weren’t touching yet. Not much at least.
He lightly moved fingers across my hip, across the tattoo I could tell was becoming his favorite. I touched his chest where the hard muscles were. We were both being way too shy.
“Ollie, it’s just fucking.”
“No, it’s not. For the first time in my life, it’s not.” He kissed me then. His hot mouth straight to mine. My heart squeezed at the moment. He felt so good, tasted so right.
He gripped at my waist, pulling me on top of him so that I straddled his body. The head of his cock was right there, pushing against me. He guided it in so fast—stretching me, filling me—that I gasped.
This sigh of relief left his mouth. “There,” he said, pushing my hair out of my face, holding it back from falling in our way. “There. I fucking love you.”
“I love you, too,” I muttered.
These were big words. Big scary words. Especially when he said them while he was so deep inside me, making me feel vulnerable as hell. I started moving against him, with the help of his hands at my waist, and he felt so damn good. Moving up and down against him was crazy good.
My mouth dropped open, and I cried out his name. “Yes—Oliver, yes!”
Ollie moved his hands to my breasts, cupping the weight of them in his hands, pinching softly at my hardened nipples. His move sent a ripple of electricity across my skin. All the nerve endings between my legs were screaming as I kept riding that big, beautiful cock of his. I closed my eyes. I was nearly there.
Then Ollie flipped me onto my back. The movement was sudden and a little rough. His thrusts became sharp. He touched me between my legs, gliding his fingers over my super sensitive clit.
“Shit,” I breathed.
He felt so fucking good.
“Say it again,” he commanded. I knew he meant the l-word. I knew he wanted me to tell him as I came.
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Ollie,” I cried. Because maybe we shouldn’t keep saying these words so easily. Maybe we should take a step back, slow down.
> It was impossible to focus when he had me so close to the edge.
“Say it, Luce,” he asked again.
And before I could even catch my breath, that rush ran through my body. Like a damn bursting euphoria, and I cried out, “I love you,” into the hot air under our covers.
I held onto his arms, digging my fingers into his muscular biceps, enjoying the way my orgasm lingered as he continued the rhythm of his thrusting. I really did love him. I loved his innocence, even though he was the least innocent person I knew. I loved his sweet side and his persistence. Mostly, I loved the way I felt when I was with him. Like anything was possible. Like love was real and only a matter of the stars aligning. Like fate was possible. Like he was my person.
He slowed. I felt the change as he came inside me. He didn’t bother trying to pull out. We really needed to start being a hell of a lot safer than this.
Then when it was over, he dropped his head to mine, breathing heavily. Even though he’d already proven he wasn’t the type to fuck and walk away, at least not with me, some part of me grew fearful as it ended. I waited for him to ask me to get dressed.
He didn’t.
He pulled out and collapsed beside me. He draped an arm on my naked body and pull me in against his hot chest. “I love you,” he said against my ear.
“Jesus Ollie, you’ve got to stop saying that.” I laughed.
“Nope. I love you.” He kissed my ear. “I love you.” He kissed my cheek. “I love you.” He nestled his nose against my neck. “You started it. Now I’m not going to stop.”
“You’re insane.”
“Nah. You like it.”
I couldn’t help but smile, because I felt giddy each time he used those words.
I curled into him. After a few more crazy words, kisses, and snuggles. We both worked at getting dressed again. The physical activity had kept us warm, but I could feel the cold settling in. Curling in against his side, I started to let sleep wash over me. Then I fell asleep—under the moon and the covers, listening to the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore not far from where we stayed.
~ CHAPTER 40 ~
OLIVER
I woke to the dim light and the smell of an old house. John’s old house to be specific. Luce and I had stayed on the beach for a couple hours, trying to sleep, but ultimately we’d returned to the warmth of the house.
The couch wasn’t so bad. Comfier than it looked. And I had this hot little smoke show tucked close beside me. Life was good. I touched her hair, fingering the silky strands. “Luce,” I whispered.
I wanted to sneak out of here while we still could, before the whole house woke up.
“Luce, baby.”
“Ollie,” came my brother Luke’s deep voice.
I’ll be honest—I jumped a little as I suddenly noticed him hovering over us like Frankenstein’s monster.
“Ollie. Can we speak in the kitchen?”
Cue the ominous music.
Luce was still softly breathing. I suddenly didn’t want to wake her. I climbed over her and out of our warm little spot. I went with Luke to the kitchen. Which was down a few different winding hallways.
The lights were on full fluorescent brightness. Luke joined Caleb and Dani—who somehow had a breakfast sandwich, and I wanted one of those—at the kitchen table. He sat. “Sit, Ollie. We need to talk.”
Fuck you guys. No, really. This had intervention written all over it. And you know what, I was sober. I was happy. I was dating a girl who was really good for me. So fuck all of them. But I sat, suppressing all the words I wanted to scream at them, at least for the moment. I’d hear what they wanted to lecture me on first.
“First of all,” Caleb started. “Emma’s hurt you picked Luce as your next, you know, one-night stand or whatever. But I assured her it was just sex so that would be done with soon. You aren’t normally the type to shit where you eat. Maybe next time try picking a woman who isn’t related to my girlfriend, someone who doesn’t directly impact me.”
“Right.” I gave him a nod and a sad attempt at a smile. I didn’t even feel like commenting on all the crap that just came out of his mouth. I’d already told Dani we’d been talking for months, so at some point she could have jumped in to defend me. But she didn’t.
“You crashed the wedding,” she commented.
“Nope. Luce was invited. I was her date. So you can’t use that one on me. Next, Luke, let’s hear your grievances.” I was sure he had the most. He’d been sitting there all silent, all high and mighty, like usual.
“My son has speech therapy on Wednesday. I’d really like to be able to drive back to Tennessee and be sleeping in my bed with Rebecca tonight.”
He had a valid thing to talk about. “I don’t know what to do about April,” I admitted. “I might take Luce to Europe. We could stay in Paris for a little while, or maybe I could find a place in the country. I just need to get away until this thing with April dies down. I need to get a restraining order also. Because really this woman should be arrested.”
“Europe?” Caleb questioned, resting his elbows on the table, leaning in closer to me. “Pretty sure Luce isn’t going to Europe with you anytime soon.”
“Unless you know something I don’t, which you don’t, I’m sure she’d go with me.”
“I must know something you don’t then.”
The blood inside my veins grew hot. He needed to back the fuck off. “I’m sorry about April,” I said to the others, standing up. “It’s my fault for sleeping with someone without stopping to make sure wasn’t she crazy first. I should have made her fill out a questionnaire before I got in bed with her. Luckily, I’m with Luce now, so you can rest easy knowing I’m not out there fucking psychopaths who might try to also interfere with our lives. If it bothers anyone at this table that I’m with Luce—you can kiss my ass. And that’s really all I have to say. Now there’s a girl in the other room who is much better company than any of you.”
I left them. My hands were shaking, and my heart was speeding. I marched down the hall, straight for the room and couch I’d shared with Luce.
I found her awake. She had her coat and shoes on. She had every last blanket folded neatly and resting on the couch.
“Hey.” I ran a hand over my neck, suddenly feeling nervous.
“Hi.” She stood up. “So I think I’m going to take off. Um, there’s a few errands I’d like to run around town. Like finding a pharmacy and getting the heaviest dose of birth control they have.”
“You don’t need to do that. The birth control. I’m... I’m...” I swallowed hard. “I can’t get you pregnant. I mean, I’m sterile.”
“Oh?”
“I had a vasectomy about a year ago.” I shrugged. “Um, yeah. Then when I was at the addiction recovery place...” Jesus, I was shaking trying to spit this out. “At the recovery place I had to be tested, you know for sexually transmitted diseases and whatnot, and I wasn’t with anyone before you since then. Right? So, unless by some miracle everything reconnected itself after my surgery…” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Oh, fuck.” I stopped talking because I really sucked at explaining all this. She was now the first person to know about my surgery. Even my family in the other room didn’t know I’d gotten it done.
“You don’t want kids?” she asked.
“I don’t know. But I know I don’t want them any time soon. I had some sperm frozen just in case I change my mind. But I’m about eighty percent sure I would make an awful father.”
“That’s not true.” Luce walked closer. She pressed a hand to my chest and gently kissed my cheek. “I still have other things to take care of today. Can we meet for dinner?”
I nodded. I didn’t understand if her leaving now was normal or something I should worry about. We’d been spending so much time together, maybe she just needed a minute alone. I just hoped it was only a minute. That we really would see each other again tonight. Because somehow this felt like a goodbye.
~ CHAPTER 41 ~
Monday morning, eight o’clock, and I stood outside the doors to Dr. Price’s waiting room. I had to drive to Charlotte for this. I had to cancel on Ollie last night—for this. Even though I still had his car.
Fuck, I kicked at the generic hallway carpet. If I ate sugar, I’d be stress snacking. Because right about now I wanted to give up all my principles and get a candy bar out of the vending machine staring me straight in the face.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, distracting me from the sugar-filled machine. I pulled it out and saw it was Ollie’s name on the screen. I answered when maybe I shouldn’t have.
“Hey,” I muttered, pressing the phone hard against my ear. There was a quiver in my voice. I hope he didn’t hear it. “You’re up early.”
“I didn’t sleep great without you. You coming back to me anytime soon?”
“I’m in Charlotte.”
“Charlotte?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I still have your car.”
“I don’t care about my car. Why Charlotte?”
I hadn’t told him a thing about the breast cancer gene that ran in my family. And from what I could gather, Caleb hadn’t either. I swallowed, feeling all kind of emotions hitting my stomach. “I should be home later today.”
“Home to me or home to your house?”
I loved that he called himself ‘home.’ Because right this minute, I was feeling homesick for this man. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, I don’t know.”
He made a noise, a growl from his throat. I know I was being vague. I know I was pushing him away. I know he was frustrated with me.
“Did I fuck something up?”
“No,” I stressed. “No, of course not. But I do need to go. Shit, bye Oliver.”
Never Leave a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 4) Page 14