Never Leave a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 4)

by Sarah Darlington

  I hung up before our conversation could go any further. I missed him so damn much and it had barely been twenty-four hours since I saw him last. I never went back to him yesterday after running my fictional ‘errands.’ Instead I went home and stayed in bed the entire day working up the courage for today’s trip to Charlotte.

  I pushed on the door to Dr. Price’s office, walking inside. It was your standard doctor’s office—lots of chairs and lots of ladies waiting for their appointments. I’d missed appointments. I’d avoided phone calls. Now I was here. Without an appointment, hoping Dr. Price or one of his associates could fit me in.

  “Hi,” I said to Tina, a woman I knew well because of my sister’s countless visits here.

  “Hi, Ms. Winchester.”

  “I need to see Dr. Price. Just to talk for a minute. I know I don’t have an appointment. But I was hoping you could fit me in at some point. I’ll wait however long.”

  “Actually, um, I think he might want to see you right away. Hold on.” She stood up, whispering something to the other receptionist, and she walked off through the door into the back.

  Well, that was weird. I wasn’t expecting to be seen so quickly. Not when I’d waited in this waiting room for way too many minutes of my life in the past.

  About a minute later a nurse practitioner called my name, and she led me back to one of the rooms. Dr. Price was already inside.

  “Luce. Hi. Come inside. Sit down,” he said. He was in his fifties. The type of man that just radiated natural charisma. “It’s great that you came in today. As it happens, I have an opening for surgery this Friday. You’re on the waitlist for your double mastectomy, and Jane from scheduling has been trying to reach you the last few days. We want to do your surgery this Friday. If you’re ready.”

  “My, um. I lost my phone. I have a new number.”

  “Okay. I understand. How are your feelings about the surgery? Are you still just as ready for it now as you were in January?”

  Not even close.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  It was the right answer. The logical, safe one. I couldn’t be afraid of this anymore. I just had to do it, and then move on with my life.

  “Yes,” I said again more confidently. “I want the surgery. I’m ready. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. It was what I came in to ask about today.”

  “That’s great. We talked about reconstruction previously. Nothing has changed. It’s going to be a different process for you than with Emma, simply because of your cup size.” He kept talking. All the details I already knew. My surgery would be in a couple phases. I’d have to have expanders put in my chest to slowly make way for the implants because my breasts were already small to begin with.

  This was old information.

  But as he spoke, all I could think about was Ollie. How he was such a physical guy. How sex was ingrained into his personality. How he had to be thinking this thing with me was something fun and exciting. But how ‘fun and exciting’ would I be with open wounds and ‘expanders’ in my chest. There would be absolutely no physical activity with all that going on—for months!

  It would change me. Not just physically. Emotionally. I knew this surgery was going to change me, harden me. Ollie was too young and too wild to deal with something like this.

  I left the doctor’s office, staring at his beautiful car parked in the parking lot. He probably didn’t care I had his car because he had enough money to replace it if he needed. Just like he could easily have another woman twice as beautiful as me warming his bed tomorrow if he wanted. He’d be okay. A strange calm went through me. I guess I already knew what I was going to have to do. I needed to end everything with Ollie while we had only good memories to take with us. I wanted to avoid the hard and messy times that would certainly come with a surgery like this.

  I called him back. There was no hiding the quiver in my voice this time. “Hey, let’s meet for lunch. I’m already done in Charlotte. Want to try Chancy’s Claw? Is noon okay?”

  “I would love to have lunch with you. Noon is fine. Chancy’s Claw is fine.”

  I swallowed. How was I ever going to do this? “See you there.”

  “See you soon.”

  ~ CHAPTER 42 ~

  OLIVER

  Something was wrong with Luce, and I couldn’t figure out what. I knew it the moment she called and canceled plans with me yesterday. “I can’t come,” had been her words. She didn’t say why. She had said it like I was trouble and she needed to stay away. I tried not to read into it. I tried to keep calm. I tried to make it through the night without her. Even though it fucking sucked sleeping alone.

  Now I was here at Chancy’s Claw. If she was about to end everything with me then at least she hadn’t said it in a text message. Face to face, I could talk my way out of (or into) anything. But I didn’t want to have to ‘talk my way’ into her heart. I wanted to be there already. And twenty-four hours ago I would have thought I was.

  “Hi.”

  There she was. I came up behind her. She’d beaten me here. She stood next to the hostess stand in black jeans, Chuck Taylors, and a crop top. Some of her tattoos on her waist were showing. Fuck. Me. For as confident as I liked to think I was, I never would have approached a girl like Luce in my past. I always picked the girls with fake eyelashes and silicone tits. The girls who fucked Rockstars for a good story to tell their friends. A girl as cool and unique as Luce—nah, I stayed away. Maybe it was a self-preservation thing. But here I was, likely seconds away from inevitable heartbreak.

  Luce looked over her shoulder. She gave me a small hint of a smile. It wasn’t the warm welcome I wanted. She grabbed two menus from the abandoned hostess stand and led the way to a table. “There might be a few customers around noon, but until Memorial Day weekend the weekdays here are super slow.”

  She picked a booth and slid inside.

  I sat down across from her.

  Fuck—seriously, this felt like a breakup.

  From the way she couldn’t quite look me in the eyes, to the neutral meeting place, to the florescent lighting, and plastic menus. I’d never even had a girlfriend, she was my first, and even I could read all the signs. I let out a breath and rested my elbows on the table.

  “Why were you in Charlotte?” I asked.

  “It’s not important.”

  “It felt like it was important.”

  Her eyes met mine now. “It wasn’t.” She picked up her menu. “I don’t know what to get. I’m so damn hungry. I just want to eat something I shouldn’t.” She dropped the menu again, pushing it aside. “Oliver... I, um. I really think…”

  “Don’t.” My stomach sank to the floor. I could feel what was coming. “Don’t even say it. Please, Luce, don’t do it. I know I’m not boyfriend material. I know I come with a lot of drama and strings attached because of who I am. But maybe, if you give me half a chance, I might just surprise you.” I closed my eyes. “Give me the chance to surprise you. Just a chance. I promise I’m not going to let you down. I’m not him. I’m not Rhett. I know a great thing when it’s in front of me. Give us that small chance,” I muttered. “Please.”

  I reopened my eyes to find her face red like she was on the brink of tears. With my stomach in my throat, and the room spinning, I waited for her to say the words—to break up with me and effectively shatter my heart. But the words I knew were coming never came. After another moment, she took a breath and looked back at her menu. “I want the ultimate seafood plater. It’s huge, and mostly fried, not even close to vegan. Will you share it with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thanks.” She closed her menu, giving me a small forced smile. I could see how close she still was to crying. I could see pain on her face, despite how much I think she was trying to hide it.

  “You’re not breaking up with me?” I still didn’t know what was going on.

  Her blue eyes... now they filled with tears. “No.” The word from her lips was so small, I almost missed it. But I heard it and
my heart flip-flopped. It was the best word. “No,” she repeated. “I don’t want to.”

  “Well, thank the lord,” I said in relief, breathing in deep, feeling myself start to get emotional.

  I couldn’t stay sitting still. I left my side of the booth for hers. I moved in close against her. I grabbed her face, working my fingers into her hair, and I kissed her softly.

  I tasted her tears. Or maybe I tasted my own. I didn’t even know what had just happened. Or why we came so close to ending. But I was relieved her answer had been no. I kissed her, then hugged her, squeezing my arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me.

  Her arms got inadvertently locked in between us. But I didn’t end the hug. I only kept holding her. Especially when she buried her face against the fabric of my shirt. There was more happening here that I didn’t understand. There had to be. We’d been fine twenty-four hours ago. Now I felt something overwhelming hanging in the air.

  “If I have to prove to you that you can rely on me—fine. If it takes all the time in the world—fine. But one day you’ll trust me with your secrets. One day you’ll tell me first.”

  I kept holding her. I didn’t mind. She felt good against me. And I must have been doing something right because she calmed, and eventually pulled away.

  “Thank you, Ollie.”

  Yeah, I didn’t know what I’d done. “Anytime,” I muttered.

  At that second, a waitress finally came over to help us. It was Emma, of all people. She didn’t look very happy to be our server.

  “Oh wonderful,” she grumbled under her breath.

  I pushed my lips into a smile. “Hi, Emma. Why the hell are you our waitress when your boyfriend has literally millions of dollars?”

  ~ CHAPTER 43 ~

  LUCE

  My heart still screamed from the words I’d just exchanged with Ollie. I came in here with every intention of breaking things off with him and somehow the conversation went in an opposite direction. Now Emma was here, working today, unexpectedly.

  “I’m serious,” Ollie said to Emma. “Caleb loves you. He’ll probably marry you one day. I’m sure he would support you.” Wow. Ollie was actually very kind as he explained this. “You could do whatever. Aren’t you into art? But if you want to be a waitress then sorry, I’ll shut up.”

  Emma looked completely caught off guard. “I can’t just up and quit like Luce quit. My art doesn’t pay any bills.”

  “You could, but whatever.” He grabbed the menu. “Can I order the ultimate seafood platter? And like a side salad, just in case, for this one.” He winked and playfully bumped my shoulder.

  Emma stared at us. “What? This is real?” she asked, dumbfounded. “You two are together? Like together together?”

  “Yeah,” I answered. “We are.”

  A few minutes ago, staring at Ollie’s handsome face across the table, seeing the worry and fear written on it, the most genuine thing I’d ever seen in my life, I’d realized that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break up with him and end this. Deep down, not a bone in me wanted to. I didn’t want to face my surgery alone. I wanted Ollie to do exactly what he said—to surprise me and be there. Then to accept me afterwards, just like it felt he was accepting me now.

  “This is ridiculous,” Emma commented. “I mean, it’s Ollie. You know what he said to me on the day we met. That he wanted to fuck me in the bathroom.”

  “Yeah, I did say that,” Ollie admitted. “I’m sorry I said it, Emma. I say a lot of stupid shit, and I use sex as some kind of shield. I’m starting to realize that now. There’s no excuse for my past behavior, but I’m serious about Luce. I’m in love with her. So, yes, this is real.”

  Emma just stared at us for a moment. “So is this your plan for the future, Luce? Date a Rockstar? Have him support you and pay your medical bills?”

  I felt the color physically drain from my face. She might as well have slapped me. It would have had the same effect. I wasn’t dating Ollie for his money. But I could see how it might look like I was.

  “Medical bills?” Ollie asked. “What does she mean?”

  “She’s being hypothetical.” I pushed at his side because I couldn’t stay trapped in the booth another minute. “Move. Move, please.”

  He moved, standing so I could get out. Once I was free, I left without looking back.

  “Luce!” Emma called after me. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it.”

  I wasn’t listening, I was walking for the door. Outside, the cold air hit my face, and I sucked in a breath. I hurried for my car. Only, fuck, it was Ollie’s car. I still had his Mercedes. Parked next to it was John’s car. Ollie must have borrowed it today.

  “Crap,” I muttered because I heard Ollie's feet on the gravel behind me. I felt him as he came to stand beside me.

  “Where are you going?”

  I pulled his keys from my pocket, turning toward him. “I can’t keep driving your car around like it’s mine. It’s not mine.” I tried to push his keys into his hand, but he wouldn’t take them.

  “I don’t mind. You need a car.”

  “Take your keys, Oliver!”

  “No.”

  I let them fall to the ground. Then I started to run. I had to get away. My friends Noah and Georgie—they lived not far from the restaurant. I could go there.

  Dammit, Ollie followed. He ran with me. Tears blurred my vision. I was crying and jogging down the open road like a crazy person, and he was witnessing everything. He kept running beside me. He said nothing, just kept up my pace. I ran until I was out of steam and my jog turned into a walk.

  I wasn’t even halfway to Noah’s house.

  I moved for the sidewalk, and then I stood on the side of the road with my hands on my hips, trying to catch my breath and my composure, not daring to look directly at Ollie.

  “I love you,” he muttered. His voice sounded as shaken as I felt. “If you have medical bills, I’ll pay them.”

  “It was hypothetical,” I repeated, still breathing hard.

  “Then I could hypothetically pay them.”

  “Stop talking crazy!” I shouted. “Just stop it. When we joked about Paris, it was fun. It was cute. You were cute. But this is real life shit. This is my life. Since I met you you’ve changed everything. Everything!”

  He made me so angry. So angry for making me believe in him. I wanted to keep believing in him, but I also needed him to take a step back.

  So I pushed. And I pushed hard.

  “Ollie, you’re full of shit. You’re the guy in rehab for a sex addition. You’re the guy entertaining topless women on your boat when you know another woman is showing up for you that day. You’re the guy who has a vasectomy, probably because you’re too worried about having a bunch of illegitimate children running around in this world. You’re the guy who says the right things, the perfect things, to get women to fuck you.”

  His jaw was tight.

  His eyes were hard.

  “That’s who I am?”

  “That’s who you are.”

  “Fine. If you know me so well. You want me to walk away, is that what you’re getting at? I mean, why else did you ask me to lunch in the first place today?”

  There was some mild truth to my accusations of his character, but mostly I said those hurtful things because I was so damn terrified. I was too afraid to tell him the truth about my surgery. Too afraid to face the reality of what would happen the day after my surgery. Or the month. The following year. At what point would this all just crumble, causing him to revert back to the guy I’d just described?

  “I want you to walk away.”

  He breathed out through his nose, shaking his head, taking a step back. His whole demeanor changed into a version of Ollie I wasn’t familiar with. “Fine, baby.” He smiled a cocky smile nearly every Instagram photo on his page featured. “I’m in no mood for the drama anyway. I’ll leave my keys in the glove box just in case you need a ride home. Don’t freeze out here. Have a nice walk around the block.”r />
  Without looking me in the eyes even once more, he started to go. He started to walk. As easy as that, my words made him leave. I watched him as he went, each one of his steps hurting a little more than the last.

  Tears slipped down my cheeks.

  Then, when I couldn’t watch him any longer, I headed in the opposite direction.

  ~ CHAPTER 44 ~

  OLIVER

  Fuck. Thirty minutes later and I wasn’t in a good place. I’d immediately returned to the restaurant.

  “Where’s Luce?” Emma had asked.

  “I don’t fucking know,” I snapped.

  Besides us, the restaurant was empty. So I walked to the bar. I reached over the counter and grabbed the closest bottle I could reach. Jack Daniels. It would do.

  “You can’t do that,” Emma warned, right on my heels.

  “You gonna stop me, sweetheart.”

  She didn’t answer. So I removed the pour from the bottle and started drinking the amber liquid inside. I had a decent tolerance. There wasn’t enough left in this one bottle to get me truly fucked up. So good thing there were plenty of others in front of me.

  “I’m sorry,” Emma said. “This is my fault.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You didn’t cause this. I did.”

  The liquid felt warm going down.

  “I’m calling Caleb.”

  “Do whatever you gotta do.” I sat down on the nearest bar stool. “I ain’t moving.” I wasn’t going anywhere until Luce came back. Or until I hit the floor. Whichever came first.

  But yeah. As it turned out, it wasn’t Luce that came first. It ended up being the floor.

  ~ CHAPTER 45 ~

  OLIVER

  I woke with a headache from hell. The bright lights in whatever God-forsaken motel room I’d landed in were killer. Only, it wasn’t a motel. It was a guest bedroom with framed art all over the walls.