by T. S. Joyce
“The medicine I make doesn’t just stop certain animal traits, Tobias. Your animal will shrink to nothing.” When Tobias gripped her hand in his, she gasped at his speed.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You have a very striking body,” she murmured, running her hand over his taut skin to make sure she’d gotten all the quills.
“Vera.”
No getting out of the rest of this conversation. “What I mean is, I can stop your hibernation. Injections once a month, but you won’t be able to conjure your bear while the meds are in your system. You’ll be helpless. No better than a human.”
“Jesus,” he murmured, eyes wide. “Not even to defend myself or you?”
She shook her head sadly. “I have last month’s injection in me, and I still can’t Change. I’ve tried and tried because I haven’t shifted in a couple years, but I can’t. I can feel her in there, you know? I just can’t reach her.”
Tobias dropped her wrist and rubbed his hand down the short scruff on his face, looking utterly shaken. “That’s a big trade-off.”
“For you it will be. You were always a bear shifter. Your animal was always a part of you. For me, it was a relief when I figured out how to suppress mine. I could kind of feel normal again.” She looked around pointedly. “Well, if you ignore where I ended up, I felt kind of normal.”
“So why stop the medicine now?”
“Because I’m tired of running.”
“You mean you’re tired of being scared of yourself.”
She lifted one shoulder up to her ear in a half shrug. “Yeah, that.”
Tobias didn’t say anything. His expression got real thoughtful as he poured a bottle of water over his skin and toweled off. He even put on a set of extra clothes he’d retrieved from the back of the plane without talking to her. Maybe she should’ve waited until after they’d left to tell him. Had she just screwed her chances of escaping? Maybe getting rid of the bear for half a year wasn’t worth staying awake. She didn’t know. Vera didn’t know anything about him. She’d assumed hibernation was a terrible experience for bear shifters, but perhaps she’d been wrong.
But when the silence got uncomfortably thick, and she began to think up ways to convince him to take her with him again, he loaded up her things in the plane and buckled her into the passenger’s seat before putting a headset over her ears.
After a rough take-off, when they were past the building storm and into smooth airspace, Tobias finally spoke to her again. “We’ll figure everything out.”
Those four words meant more than he could ever know. He was still in this. And even if it wasn’t a love match and he was only willing to trade his protection for her cure, Tobias still felt important. Now, he wasn’t just some man she’d dreamed up. He was a flesh and blood shifter who had gone protective for her back in the village. He’d called her his mate and went after Harlan. The stranger had taken quills for her.
Sure, Tobias saw their pairing as a means to an end—an impersonal mating that got them both what they wanted, void of emotions.
He was a survivor—that was for sure and for certain.
But Vera was beginning to become highly suspicious that Tobias Silver was also a decent man.
Chapter Four
“This is where you live?” Vera asked, trying and failing to stifle the disappointment in her voice. “In a hotel?” She adjusted the strap of her purple bag and followed him inside room 1010.
Tobias clicked on the light and set her suitcase down. “This and a number of other hotels. Are you disappointed?” His tone was odd and low, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.
In that moment, she wanted to lie because her opinion on his “home” seemed to matter to him, but he would hear if she was dishonest. Damn his shifter senses. She looked around and explored the room, stalling. It had a single queen-size bed with a green and navy floral print comforter. There was a nice on-suite bathroom with granite countertops and a sparkling white tub, even a little sink near a mini-fridge in the corner. The smell of cleaner was harsh against her hypersensitive nose. “A little. I guess I imagined a little cabin somewhere off in the woods. Some stability.”
“You had that on Perl Island.”
Vera sat heavily onto the plush mattress. “It wasn’t the same. I wasn’t with—” She clamped her mouth shut and cursed herself silently.
Tobias leaned against the door he’d just closed. “You weren’t with what?”
Clearing her throat uncomfortably, she murmured, “I wasn’t with you. I know that’s weird because I don’t really know you, but for some strange and stupid reason, I feel safe with you, and the whole plane ride here I was excited about seeing your place.”
His striking green eyes held steady on her, his face a stoic mask until at last he said, “I hibernate in a den on Kodiak Island during the winters. I guess that’s home for me. The hotels are just a place to sleep between deliveries.”
“Oh. What does your den look like?”
A small smile curved his lips, and he got a faraway look. “It’s nothing fancy and nothing you would be impressed with. It’s just a deep cave, with evergreen branches where I sleep. It’s the best den, though, and every year I go to battle with the wild bears for it.”
“You fight them?”
Tobias dipped his chin once, his eyes sparking. “My bear needs it.”
“Do all grizzlies need to fight?”
“Do you want to shower first?”
“Oh, no, Mr. Secrets.” Vera flipped onto her belly on the mattress and crossed her ankles in the air. “Spill them beans.”
A soft noise rumbled from Tobias as he lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “My brothers don’t need to fight. I do. You tethered yourself to a monster. Congratulations. I’m going to take a shower.”
He strode toward the bathroom door, but Vera launched herself at him like a flying squirrel coasting to another tree.
Tobias grunted and stumbled, then straightened and said, “Lady, get off.”
He was pinned with his arms at his side as she clung to him Koala style. “No,” she said, shaking her head for emphasis. “You can’t run from my affection. Not until you hear what I have to say.”
“Then say it and let me go.”
Leaning forward, she whispered into his ear, “I’m a monster, too.” Gooseflesh rippled up his neck, and before she could stop herself, she kissed him there just to feel the texture and inhale his sexy, masculine scent. “Admissions like that won’t chase me off, and it will take some time getting used to hotel living, but I’ll write down a list of pros and feel better about all this in the morning.” Loosening her grip, she slid down his body like a stripper pole and snatched her purple bag from the floor. Bolting around him, she said, “I call shower first!”
Pros: hot water, clean showers, and she was about to scrub three years of Alaskan bush grit from her skin. Vera stripped down, turned on the hot tap, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Red, puffy eyes, streams of black mascara down her face, wind-burned cheeks, and tangled hair that had been in perfect curls this morning, but now lay limply across her shoulders and down to her ribs. Turning from side to side, she giggled. Tobias, that lucky dog. But when her eyes landed on the puncture wounds at the top of her breast, her smile faltered, and she twisted to study the ones on her back. Tobias’s bear jaws were huge to make the marks so far down.
“I’m claimed,” she whispered, shocked all over again. This had actually worked.
Plumes of steam were billowing from above the white shower curtain by the time she was done staring at the bite mark. When her eyes landed on the tiny, miniature bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner by the sink, her smile returned tenfold, and she let off a long squeal.
“What’s wrong?” Tobias asked in a panicked voice as he threw the door open.
She turned and held the precious commodities up. “Vanilla scented!”
Tobias wasn’t looking at her newly discovered hair care system, though. He was froze
n in the doorway, eyes glued to her boobs. “Holy shit,” he whispered.
Well now, that wasn’t the reaction the boys on Perl gave her when they spied on her while she bathed in the river. She frowned down at herself. “Bad?”
Tobias shook his head, back and forth, back and forth, eyes scanning down to her belly, then lower.
At last, he lifted those emerald green eyes to hers with a stunned look on his face. “You look…”
“I look what?” Pretty, gorgeous, like a goddess. Tobias was about to add another pro to her list.
“You look hearty.”
“Hearty?” She snorted. “Like beef stew? Dig deeper, Silver.”
Tobias straightened his spine and slowly covered his obvious erection with his hands, which was a better compliment than “you look hearty.”
“I mean you look hot. Sexy.” He cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes closed, then opened them again with an uncomfortable smile. “I like the way you look.”
Vera wasn’t modest at all. Not anymore. Not after Perl Island, but suddenly, her skin flushed with heat under Tobias’s gaze. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”
Tobias stood frozen in the doorway for a long time. She couldn’t even tell if he was breathing, but finally, he gave her a slight nod and began to undress. To give him privacy, she stepped into the shower and yelped at how hot the water was. It had to be almost boiling. Frantic, she turned it colder and pressed herself flat against the wall to avoid the scalding jets.
Just as she found the perfect temperature, Tobias stepped in and straightened to his full height. He was a tall man with wide, muscular shoulders and took up most of the room in the shower, but Vera didn’t mind. There was something intimate about this. Without a word, she lathered up a washrag with the bar of soap and began to run it over the hard curves of his body. His eyes darkened as she dragged the cloth down his pecs and abs, across the sexy strips of muscles over his hips. He turned for her slowly, and she ran soap suds down the taut musculature of his back. She’d never seen a more well-built man. “I like the way you look, too,” she murmured.
“Is this your first hot shower since you moved to Perl Island?”
Vera huffed a laugh. “No one moves to Perl. I was placed there. And yes, this is my first hot shower. It feels heavenly.”
“And you’re spending it washing me?”
“It’s not just washing you, Tobias. I’m getting to know you.” Heat flooded her cheeks again, and she wondered what the hell was wrong with her skin. She wasn’t a blusher.
“I don’t know anything about girls.”
“I could tell that from the weird-ass compliment you gave me.”
Tobias chuckled and took the rag from her fingertips. He rinsed it under the water, then lathered it up and turned her. Gently, he washed around her new bite mark, already half-healed thanks to her shifter abilities.
“What do girls like? Or specifically, what do you like?”
The question caught her off-guard. Partly because she was relaxing by the moment under his soft touch, and partly because no one had ever asked her what she liked before. Not that she could remember, anyway.
“Vanilla scented shampoo and conditioner,” she teased.
“You joke a lot. You never let a conversation get serious. Why?”
Observant bear, already digging at her roots. She joked and smiled to cope with the hard stuff. To take away the sting of having to think about things she didn’t want to. It was a survival mechanism. She couldn’t admit that part out loud to him, though, because he would see how messed up she was. Tobias Silver’s opinion meant more to her than anything else right now. No, it didn’t make sense, but there it was. She liked him, and she wanted him to like her, too. “I like painting my nails, doing my make-up, getting my hair done, and wearing sundresses. I like shaving my legs and looking put-together. Perhaps that sounds silly and super girly to a man like you, but you have to realize I was deep in the wilderness with all men for a long time, and sometimes it felt like I was drowning. Like I was losing myself completely. Perl is no easy place to live, and I was fine getting my hands dirty. But every once in a while, I want to look in the mirror and feel like a woman.” Her voice shook at the end, so she swallowed hard.
Tobias turned her slowly and dragged the washcloth over the length of her collar bone, his face carefully blank.
“I did things to survive,” she whispered.
Tobias’s shoulders lifted with a long inhalation, then he sighed. “I suppose you would’ve had to. There’s nothing wrong with being a survivor, Vera.”
“The girly stuff is a good escape. It makes me feel like before.”
“You mean before you had to become a rugged mountain woman?”
She huffed a laugh and nodded, happy that he wasn’t giving her grief for her admissions.
“You want to go to dinner with me?”
“Are you asking me on a date, McBeefcake?
“Maybe. We can go anywhere you choose.”
“Which, in this tiny town, is the taco place or the hamburger diner.”
He nodded and grinned. “Exactly.”
“Can we do both? Oh, and find somewhere that serves pie. And ice cream. And you aren’t allowed to make fun of how many french fries I eat. And maybe we can get one of those giant pickles from the gas station? And nachos. Do you think the diner serves pizza, too?”
Tobias gave a sexy, deep laugh that stretched his mouth into the biggest grin she’d seen on him. Stunning. “I guess you were deprived on Perl.”
“If I never have to eat another muskrat, it’ll be too soon.”
Tobias shocked her when he pulled her against him. They were such a contrast. Her soft to his steel. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him and muttered, “You’re stabbing me with your boner.”
“Lady, you smell like pheromones, and you look sexy as hell. I like my mark on you, my bear approves of whatever animal you’re hiding. The boner is here to stay. Might as well stop pointing it out.”
“You want to pollinate me,” she teased, snuggling her cheek against his chest.
“You fancy me a bee and yourself a flower, but flowers are delicate and their petals are frail. You’re no flower, Vera. You’re a thistle instead.”
Vera opened her eyes and frowned at the white shower curtain. “What do you mean?”
Rubbing his chin over the top of her hair, he murmured, “Beautiful but dangerous.”
Huh. Tobias might not know a lot about woman, but he sure knew enough about her. One day with the man, and he’d gifted her with the most meaningful compliment anyone had ever given her. He’d rewarded her for holding the serious conversation instead of skittering away from it.
And suddenly, Tobias felt like the dangerous one because, slowly but surely, her heart was tethering itself to him.
Tobias Silver wasn’t just some mate for hire anymore.
Now, he had the power to hurt her.
Chapter Five
“I can’t believe how much you can eat,” Vera joked.
Tobias’s lips turned up in an answering smile as he pulled a pillow from the bed and dropped it onto the pallet he’d made on the floor.
She was snuggled in the bed with the low noise of the television in the background. She’d been itching to watch TV, but when she was around Tobias, he somehow commanded all her attention. “Are you nesting?” she asked, more curious than ever about the nature of bear shifters.
“No, I’m just making a place to sleep.”
“So you don’t normally prefer to sleep on the floor?”
“Nope.”
“I get cold easily, and you have the air conditioner set at arctic temperatures.”
Tobias sighed, hands on his hips. “Say what you want. I’m shit at hints.”
“If you insist on it being thirty-two degrees in here, the least you can do is give me your body heat. Sleep beside me, McBeefcake.”
“That’s a bad idea.”
“It’s definitely not.�
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“Vera, you just came off the island, and our situation is really unusual. I don’t want to rush a physical relationship with you.”
She scrunched up her nose. “I’m in heat.”
“I can tell.”
“I have needs.”
“You’ve been rubbing yourself on me like a needy cat all night.”
“Me-ow.”
“Vera.” He narrowed his eyes and gave her a hard look.
She pouted. “Fine, I won’t seduce you. But I’m serious about not being able to sleep when it’s this cold. I need you.”
Tobias’s pupils contracted to pinpoints, and he froze.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I said that last part.” It was true, but she hadn’t meant to admit it out loud. Not yet. Backpedaling from the uncomfortable mistake, she rushed out, “It’s just that we had such a good dinner, and we talked about your family and what hibernation is like for you, and I felt all close. Too close, I get that. It just feels like I’ve known you for a long time and—”
“That’s the bite talking.”
“What?”
“You haven’t been a shifter for long. What, three years? A claiming mark makes things foggy. Confusing. You’re feeling a bond based on instinct, Vera. Our animals have chosen each other, but we need to give our human sides time to catch up, okay?”
Vera pulled the comforter up higher under her chin and nodded. “Okay.”
“Goodnight, Vera.” Tobias clicked off the light and rustled around in the dark, settling onto his make-shift bed.
“G’night.” Vera sighed and stared at the dark ceiling. The town wasn’t a big one, but there was still light pollution and street noise that made everything seem a little overwhelming. Sure, she would get used to it all in time, but this was night one out of the wilderness, and she was feeling a little adrift. And cold. Really cold. She clenched her teeth together so they wouldn’t chatter.
Okay, Tobias had slammed on the breaks. Dinner had been amazing, and he’d even rested his boot against hers under the table as they talked and ate. He’d even let her try everything on his plate without getting territorial. It was one of those dates that made her draw up and think, this could be something. Not just a contract pairing, but something special. Tobias was thoughtful about his responses, quiet, reflective, good at listening. His heavy dominance and the growl in his throat didn’t even bother her so much anymore because underneath his animal, Tobias was good. A little tortured, a little jaded, and careful sharing any information about himself, but good.