by Nicole Dykes
I need to push her away.
“Asher . . .” Her voice is raspy as her hand slides over my bare stomach and each sweaty ridge.
A memory forms in my mind. “I’m sweaty.”
I can feel her smile against my lips as we go back to the past and a very similar conversation. “So, make me sweaty to match.”
And she’s still fucking trouble for me. But I grab the hem of her tank top, ripping it off. I'm fucking elated when I see she’s not wearing a bra. “It’s nice to see your tits without Sawyer’s hands over them.”
She rolls her eyes and leans her head back against the wall. “If you need to think about Sawyer to get your dick hard, that’s fine with me.”
I take her hand in mine and place it over the bulge in my shorts. “He had no part in this.”
She groans, letting her tongue drag over my neck as she palms my hard cock. “Then stop talking about him.”
I dip my head for my tongue to drag over her already hardened nipple, teasing it before I pull with my teeth enough to elicit a pained moan that’s also full of pleasure.
“Asher.” She drags my name out, her hand sinking into my shorts and briefs to grasp my cock, stroking me with familiarity.
“This is a bad idea.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” she’s too far gone to care as her thumb swirls over the tip of my dick, making me suck in a harsh breath, but the next thing out of her mouth is what truly sends me over the edge, “Mr. Sterling.” I’m a goner, and now I'm the one who’s past giving a damn. My lips crash against hers, and her mouth opens instantly for me, wanting the war my tongue offers.
We don’t come up for breath. I shove her shorts and panties down, and she does the same with my shorts and briefs. Both of us are hungry and desperate, neither giving a fuck about the mistake we are currently making.
I can’t take much more as her hand wraps around my cock, refusing to let go. One of my hands cups her breast as the other finds the wetness between her thighs. She strokes me gently as I explore her wet slit with my fingers, flicking over her clit and making her hiss. “God, Asher, I want you inside of me.”
I let my teeth drag over her jaw and then her neck, grazing her only slightly. “I’m not in love with you.”
“Good.” She doesn’t miss a beat as her fingers grip my hair, her other hand stroking my shaft over and over. “I don’t love you.”
I move both of my hands to her ass, picking her up, pressing her body against the wall. “You better not run away this time.”
Her head shakes from side to side as she positions my aching dick at her entrance. “I won’t. Never again.”
I thrust inside her, making us both gasp as her fingernails sink into my scalp and her lips dip down to mine, riding my cock as I pull back and then slam into her again. “Fuck,” I pant against her mouth.
“Oh god, it shouldn’t feel this good,” she sighs against my mouth as I fill her, her nails dragging down the back of my neck to my shoulders. I’m certain it will leave a mark, and I fucking want it to.
“It’s because it’s really fucking wrong.”
Her pussy clenches around me when I hit her deep inside, and she bites my bottom lip. “Well, don’t stop. I’m already close to coming.”
Her voice is so hot. I can hear the want dripping from her words. Holding her against the wall with one hand, I use the other to tease her clit. “I’m not fucking stopping, no matter how epically stupid this is.”
“It’s only stupid if we act that way after, Asher.”
I can’t focus on her words when she clenches around my cock again, spurring me toward my own orgasm.
“Come with me,” she breathes against my lips.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
She laughs, and it’s fucking beautiful when she nips my lips and then pulls me into a desperate kiss. “Just do it, you asshole.”
I would love to defy her, but I'm too fucking close to spilling my load inside her already. “You still have the IUD?”
Her eyes meet mine as she pulls back only slightly. It’s clear she only just now realized we didn’t have the birth control talk. “Yes.”
I nod my head, my forehead brushing against hers before my lips kiss hers again. “Good because I'm going to come inside of you and make damn sure you feel me.”
She gasps into my mouth, her lips capturing mine as she squeezes me so tight with her orgasm, mine soon follows with a roar coming from my throat into her mouth.
Her nails dig into my shoulder blades as I pound into her. Her tight pussy milks every last bit of cum from my cock. “Jesus, Asher.”
I’m still holding her up as we catch our breath.
“Your teacher fantasy satisfied?”
I let her feet drop to the floor as she picks up her shirt and slips it on, followed by her shorts. “I'll let you know.”
I nod, tugging on my own shorts. “This can’t happen again.”
She smooths down her hair with her hand, still panting as she bites her bottom lip with her pearly teeth and shrugs. “As long as we’re smarter this time, I don’t see why not.”
“Viv . . .” I warn, but it’s too late. She’s already pulled open the door and effectively ignored me.
Yup, this was really fucking stupid.
I refuse to regret last night. I know it’s dangerous, but I meant what I said. I honestly think this is only stupid if we aren’t prepared.
I know Asher doesn’t want a relationship, and after everything we went through, I’m beginning to believe we aren’t right for each other.
Still, no one knows my body like he does. No one gets me that excited. There’s no denying we have chemistry, but I’ve learned a lot since the first time. And I know chemistry doesn’t always mean love.
Asher and I don’t work outside of the bedroom, and that’s okay.
The door bursts open, and Baz runs inside the house, flinging his backpack on the couch before running past me to his room. “Hey!” But it’s too late, he’s already gone.
Asher saunters in, placing his leather bag on the couch and plopping down beside it with his phone in hand. Just the sight of him, dressed in his clothes for school, his large hand holding his phone with his hair tousled just right is almost too much.
Get it together, Viv.
Jesus, you would think I was starved for sex.
Is it the profession or the man?
His words from last night ring in my ears, and I bite my bottom lip, drifting back to that moment. He looks up from his phone, one eyebrow raised like he can hear my thoughts. “Stop.”
I look down at my own phone in my hand. Before they got home, I was going over my notes for the next project with Lola and Penelope. “Stop what?”
“Thinking about my cock.”
My eyes raise, and I hope they portray how infuriating he is. “Are you serious?” I look back toward the hallway, seeing that Baz is in his room at the end of the hall, but it’s pretty far away. “What if Baz hears that?”
“Pretty sure he doesn’t know what cock means yet, but what if he would have walked in on us last night? You didn’t seem too worried about that.”
My jaw drops, and I honestly have no idea why. I’m so used to him being a prick by now. “Did you have a bad day today or something? You seemed fine this morning.”
“I am fine.”
He’s not. He’s clearly pissed-off, and of course, instead of just talking about it like a human being, he’s going to punish me. “You’re not.” I straighten my shoulders and place my phone on the coffee table.
Maybe he isn’t ready to handle things like adults, but I am. I’m not going to run away or scream at him. I’m certainly not going to sulk and pout like a hurt puppy.
“I don’t regret last night.” I keep my voice low, quickly glancing back toward Baz, seeing he’s still playing happily and look back to Asher. “But I don’t want Baz to know about any of this. Ever.”
“I don’t either.” He places his phone next to hi
m on the couch and leans forward. “That’s why it can’t happen anymore.”
I shrug my shoulders slightly, brushing him off. “I didn’t say that.”
“Well I fucking did.” I don’t say anything, and he only gets angrier. “I mean it, Viv.”
“I’m not going to beg you to sleep with me, Asher, but I’ve grown. I’m different now.”
He rolls his eyes and slumps back against the couch. “No. You haven't.”
“How dare you tell me who I am.” I lean closer to him, but I keep my voice down. “I was naïve with you the first time, but I’m well aware now that you won’t ever want a relationship. I don’t even want that anymore.”
“Jesus Christ, Viv.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, gripping the ends. “You haven’t changed a bit.” He points furiously at me. “You knew full well the first time that I didn’t' want a relationship. You just ignored it.”
I fold my arms, angry that he’s right, and I don’t want to admit it. “It’s crystal clear now. It was foggy then.”
He leans forward again, his elbows on his knees. “What exactly was foggy about it? Me saying flat out I never wanted a relationship?”
Shit. He is so infuriating. But he’s also right. I search his eyes, feeling hurt sear through me because, looking at him, it’s clear he never had any real feelings for me. “Fine. I was stupid.” He raises an eyebrow with quiet curiosity. “I thought I could handle it, and then I fell hard for you. At least, I thought I did. And then you crushed me.”
“Which is all the reason never to fuck again,” he interrupts rudely.
My eyes hold his with a glare. “But I should thank you for it because I grew up. I was immature and stupid. I allowed my heart to be shattered by you. I thought I was in love, but I wasn’t. You were a friend. And Baz’s uncle, and seeing how good you are with him, it messed with my head when we added in sex.”
He stands up, walking over to sit next to me, our thighs almost touching. “So why do you want to do it again?”
I think it over for a moment, my head lowering, feeling ashamed and annoyed. So many other emotions flow through me before I lift my gaze again. “Because I’m different now. I’m not going to fall for you, Asher, and you can thank Sawyer for that.”
His teeth mash together. “Why the fuck would I thank that asshole for anything?”
“Because he’s good with Baz. He’s handsome. Smart. Funny. Employed.” I can tell he’s growing tired of the list of Sawyer’s attributes. “He checks all the same boxes that you did. The things every single mother should want, but I didn’t fall in love with him. Not at all. It was never serious.”
“So, you think because you can fuck Sawyer without catching feelings, it will be the same with me?”
I shrug. It makes sense to me. A part of me was broken when Asher didn’t return the love I thought I felt. Maybe I’ll never repair it. Or maybe the right person hasn’t come along yet.
“I do. It wasn’t right with you. And it wasn’t right with him. My prince charming clearly hasn’t arrived yet.”
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You want a prince, huh?”
I shake my head. “Right now,” I lower my voice again, “I’m just looking for an orgasm or two occasionally. Good friends. A job. And for my son to be happy. I have everything I need.” I lift my shoulders again even though I actually feel quite confident. “Maybe I’m my own prince.”
He studies me, still not believing me.
I stand up, needing to get dinner started soon. My voice is a whisper as I look down at him. “I’m not going to beg you to fuck me, but I’m not going to stop it either.”
He looks conflicted, his eyes swirling with uncertainty and bitter anger. “I won’t go through that shit again. I’m finally as close to happy as I can be, Viv. I can’t lose Baz again.”
I place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently, trying to reassure him. “I won’t ever separate you two again. You have my word, no matter what happens, that’s a mistake I won’t make again.”
“I have to stay away from you.” His deep voice is quiet as he says that almost to himself, making my heart squeeze tightly in my chest with guilt.
“You won’t lose him again.” His eyes lock on mine. “No matter what.”
It’s a promise, and it’s one I will never break.
I can’t get Viv out of my head. I want to. I can’t stand thinking about her all the time, but I can’t stop. She really thinks she’s changed, that her brain and heart won’t get totally fucked-up adding in sex. But I know better.
Still . . . I can’t stop thinking about taking her in the gym almost a week ago. Her body was so fucking ready for me.
“Ow!” I look over at the sound of my nephew’s voice and start running across the playground before any of the other teachers make it there. It’s recess, and when I make it to Baz, I see blood pouring out of his nose and a big kid standing nearby looking guilty.
I can’t hit a kindergartner.
“Baz, what happened? I lean down, taking a Kleenex from Ms. Bowen as she reaches us. I hold it to his nose, and he points at the big kid.
“He hit me!”
“Nuh-uh. He shoved me first!”
I look at Baz, narrowing my gaze. “Did you push him?”
I know when he’s guilty. He looks down at the ground as I hold the tissue to his still bleeding nose. “Maybe.”
“Here.” I gently tilt his head back, trying to get the blood to stop. “You can’t put your hands on anyone else, buddy.” I look over at the other kid. “And you can’t either.”
I’m a teacher. I’m not allowed to be biased, but I have to take several deep breaths to calm down even if Baz made first contact. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up at Ms. Bowen. “I’ll take them to the principal’s office. I stand up, still holding the tissue over Baz’s nose.
“Is that really necessary?”
“Of course it is.” She folds her arms, looking down at both boys briefly and back at me. “We have a strict policy here, Mr. Sterling. No violence. No exceptions.” She takes the other kid’s hand and moves toward Baz, but leans in, whispering so only I can hear her. “No matter how cute their uncles are.”
I fight rolling my eyes because I'm not even remotely interested. She’s pretty, but she doesn’t make my dick hard, not even when she calls me Mr. Sterling.
No. I seem to need torture and intense emotional pain to get hard.
“I’ll take Baz to the nurse first. Then I’ll take him to the office.”
She studies me suspiciously, but then nods in approval before heading off with the other student. I sigh and lean down to look at Baz again as the crowd that had formed starts to dissipate. “You okay, buddy?”
He lowers his head so he can’t see me. “I’m mad.”
“What happened?”
He just shakes his head, a furious pout on his face, and I know he isn’t going to talk about it right now. “Okay. You gotta go face the music, kid. But it will be fine.”
I take his hand. “What does that mean?”
I laugh as we walk. “It means you’re in trouble. We have to go talk to the principal and then probably your mom.”
He groans. “Oh, man. Mommy is going to be mad.”
“Yeah . . . Probably. But take it from someone who has made your mom pretty mad before, she’ll forgive you.”
It’s one of her best and worst qualities.
And I really fucking wish she would just hate me already so we can stay away from each other. But, of course, even if we both hate each other, it isn’t that simple.
After I take Baz to the nurse, I talk to the principal, who sentenced both kids to going home for the day. I asked her if Baz could wait with me and to let me call his mom, and thankfully, Mrs. Bailey is pretty cool and agreed to it.
Baz wasn’t feeling so hot after being punched in the nose, so I let him lay down on the cot in the nurse’s office to go call Viv.
She didn’t answer, so I left her
a voicemail. She’s probably at work.
After recess and a story, the kids have gone to music in a different room when Viv bursts through the door of my classroom, looking around frantically for Baz. “Asher?”
I stand from my desk. I should have known she was going to panic. “He’s fine.”
“You said he got into a fight? Is he okay?”
I nod my head, standing in front of her in her frantic state. “Viv. Breathe.”
She looks furiously at me, but she does take a deep breath. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. He’s in the nurse’s office, laying down.”
She takes another deep breath. “What happened?”
“I’m not sure. He got into a fight with another kid on the playground. Baz shoved him, and the kid socked him in the nose.”
Her jaw drops, and she’s clearly shocked. I was a little surprised myself. Baz is usually the lover not the fighter type. “He pushed another kid?”
I shrug. “He’s a boy. And a Sterling. It won’t be the last time.”
She looks even more annoyed now. “How can you be so calm?”
I smile. “He’s fine. Little bloody nose.”
She pales when her eyes meet my collar. “Is that his blood?”
I look down, seeing a little spec of blood on my shirt. It must have happened when I hugged him to me. I lift my eyes. “He’s fine.”
“You were there?” She barely manages the question. It’s merely a breath from between her lips.
Lips I crave.
Fuck!
I nod my head, still watching her mouth. “Yes.”
We’re standing too close, but neither of us move. “And he’s okay?”
She’s not speaking above a whisper, and I know my closeness is affecting her now that she knows Sebastian is safe. I nod my head again, my hand raising to her hips, resting there. “He’s fine.”
“Thank you for being there.” Her eyes lift and settle on mine. “I’m afraid of something bad happening to him.”