He didn’t know what had happened to Grace, and until he knew what he was dealing with, he refused to panic. He’d simply gone through the motions, even if a little faster than normal. When he’d arrived, he’d explained his situation to the ER clerk, then followed a nurse to the emergency bay. One quick look at Grace and he could see she was fine.
But Carly was another story. Her eyes were red rimmed. Cheeks tearstained. Hair tousled like she’d run her fingers through it a dozen times. She had clearly overreacted, which told him one thing: she’d behaved like a typical first-time parent. He saw all the signs, having been in her position a few short weeks ago. Something in his chest shifted uncomfortably, and for the first time since he’d become a parent, he didn’t feel like he was in this deal all alone. His friends loved and cared for Grace, and they’d do anything for her. No doubt about it. But not one of them was as invested in her well-being as Carly had become. Which made her the perfect woman—uh, he meant babysitter—for him.
He’d also come to depend on her, far more than he had on anyone else in a very long time. Which was why somehow, against all reason, he’d wound up comforting Carly. Hell, he hadn’t lied. Raising Grace was by far the toughest gig he’d ever had, and he’d made plenty of mistakes his first weeks.
Once he’d received the discharge paperwork and been assured by the doctor once more that Grace would be fine, he carried Grace in his arms and followed Carly to her car. It was near the ER entrance, where she’d parked rather haphazardly.
He put a hand on her shoulder. “You sure you’re going to be all right?”
“Would you stop asking me that?”
“Look, I’m not going back to the airport. Emily took my last flight of the day.”
“You had to get someone else to take your flight? I’m so sorry I bothered you over this.”
“Don’t be. Anyway, she didn’t mind at all.”
When she unclicked her car lock with the key fob, Levi opened the door for her. She came around and stood between the door frame and the car. “When I think of what could have happened...”
“But it didn’t.”
“How can you be so calm about this? I screwed up.”
“You overreacted. Not quite the same thing.”
She sighed and got behind the wheel. “Raising a baby is so hard. I don’t know how you do it.”
He grinned. “With a lot of help.”
He could admit that now. Even if a sense of pride kept him thinking he could do this on his own, he wouldn’t have survived the first two weeks without his friends. Matt and Sarah. Stone and Emily. Cassie. Who in the world ever raised a child in a vacuum?
Her smudged green eyes met his. “Thanks for being so cool about this.”
She tried to shut her door, but he put one arm out to stop her.
“Carly.”
“What?”
“You have to drive Grace home. I don’t have the car seat with me.”
She clunked her head on the steering wheel. “Of course.”
He leaned into the back seat, strapped Grace in, then shut the door. “See you back there.”
* * *
LATER THAT EVENING, for the first time in weeks, Levi felt four walls closing in on him. After feeding Grace, bathing her and rocking her to sleep, he fed Digger. Levi had finally taught him to roll over on command, and he’d discovered that the dog was incredibly smart when there were dog treats involved. Eventually, Digger grew tired and retired to his pillow, taking his latest treat with him.
Levi plopped on the couch feeling out of sorts. He wanted...something. Company, maybe. Carly. What he wanted were those green eyes searching his again with a hunger and vulnerability that made him ache. He wanted to hear the soft moans she made when he was buried deep inside her.
But, as Matt had warned him, Levi needed to proceed with caution. Much as he liked Carly and the way she took care of Grace like her own, she’d already demonstrated she could lie with the best of them. His least favorite character trait. He told himself that she wouldn’t lie to him again. She’d learned her lesson, but on some level that didn’t ring true.
She was a little hysterical, too. A bit lost. Troubled about something she wouldn’t share with him.
And had no idea how beautiful she was.
He could get a woman. He could get a lot of women most of the time. The problem had always been keeping them, though not much of an issue since he’d stopped trying. His long absences had made a permanent relationship impractical and impossible. Granted, everything had changed since his AF days. He was grounded and would be for the foreseeable future. But what was he supposed to do with a girl-next-door type like Carly? He had no idea what she really wanted other than selling her mother’s company, or if what she wanted could ever possibly be him and Grace. Carly might not be able to hang with him through the difficult times ahead of raising Grace.
A few minutes later, his doorbell rang and he opened the door to find Carly, a tinfoil-covered pan in her hands.
“I made you brownies. A peace offering.”
He waved her in. “Hey, I told you. We’re cool.”
Still holding the tray, she walked to the kitchen and set it on the table. “It’s okay. I love baking once in a blue moon. There’s a routine to it that’s reassuring. And if you follow the directions precisely, it always comes out.”
Between the doughnuts and brownie deliveries, he definitely needed to figure out a way to play basketball again. Or teach Digger how to run.
Her back to him, she hung her head. “I screwed up. I should have just phoned the doctor’s office before running to the emergency room. You must think I’m such an idiot.”
“Not even close.” He pulled on her arm so she’d turn and face him. “People make mistakes, babe. You’re talking to someone who has made some big ones in his life, so I’m not judging you. Grace is all right.”
“But—”
“You didn’t judge me, did you?”
“That’s different.”
“You want to tell me why you think you’re such a screw-up? Because something tells me it goes beyond what happened today.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Okay, look. I brought you the brownies, and I’m seriously sorry about today. But that doesn’t mean you get to psychoanalyze me.”
“Got it.”
“Just eat the brownies, Levi. That’s what they’re here for.” She pulled off the tin foil and underneath lay a small work of art.
Brownie art. They had green icing on them and what appeared to be chocolate shavings on top. Beautiful, and he didn’t want them. Not now. He simply studied her, feeling a smile tug at his lips. She did that to him, even after he’d had a crap day. He could admit now, so many times he’d come home after work to pick up Grace, he’d been looking forward to a lot more than seeing his little girl. Just a few minutes with Carly picked up his day. She was sweet. Witty. Not to mention, after one night with her, impossible to forget.
“You...don’t want the brownies?” she asked.
He folded his arms and leaned back against the counter. “They look great.”
“They are, in fact. All my life, any time I was scared or nervous about anything, like a test, I’d bake. In New York, I had enough inventory to open my own bakery. Too bad I never wanted to do that for a living, since I’m pretty good. My roommates were certainly happy. Aren’t you even going to taste one?”
“Later.”
“Well, fine, suit yourself. I think I’ll have one if you don’t mind. You’re actually in great shape, and I don’t think one brownie is going to kill you.” She scooped a brownie out and took a bite. “How’s Grace?”
“Still good.”
She nodded, and he didn’t miss the way she let out a long breath. Maybe that was why she’d come over. The brownies were an excus
e, because she was still worried about Grace. It killed him a little bit that she had taken it so hard, and he wanted more than anything to make it better for her. To fix this. Permanently. He wanted her to see herself the way he did for once. Capable. So beautiful. Intriguing. He wanted to take whoever had shattered her self-esteem and rearrange his face permanently.
She finished the brownie and licked her finger. He groaned inwardly.
“Levi...maybe...maybe it’s time you find another babysitter.”
“So you’re bailing on me.”
“You should have fired me.” She poked a finger in his chest.
“For overreacting? Listen, I know I’m new at parenting, but I’d be more inclined to fire someone who underreacted. You did everything a newbie parent would have done, and that’s what I want. That’s what Grace needs. Someone who cares about her as much as I do. And I don’t want anyone else.”
“You haven’t even tried to find anyone, have you?”
Now she had him. Why would he when he had her? Correction. You don’t have her, Grace has her. There’s a difference.
“I’ve been busy.”
“It was supposed to be temporary.”
“But now we’re engaged.” He walked past her and picked up a brownie.
“Secret fake engaged.”
“Whatever.”
He took a bite out of the brownie, which, as it turned out, was a moist, chocolate-and-mint-flavored piece of utopia. This brownie tasted like sex. The best kind of sex, the kind you didn’t want to end. An all-nighter. He nearly grabbed the edge of the counter to ease the intense pleasure of this brownie. His mouth had just had an orgasm.
Carly smiled. “Good, huh?”
He swallowed. “Not bad.”
“I have my talents.” She slid him the look of a confident woman, chin up, and damn, he loved that look on her. “Look, I wasn’t honest with you. Not completely. When I took this job, I said I was a baby expert. Which wasn’t entirely true. Although I know an awful lot. It’s just not the same in theory. Which is funny because I’ve always been better at hands-on. I was never all that good with books and tests.”
The dyslexia.
She waved a hand. “You got me sidetracked. I’m trying to say that this baby business is so much harder than I thought it would be. And I think you and Grace deserve better.”
“I’ve got better.” He took a step closer, but not before picking up another piece of sex...er, brownie.
“What you’ve got is the owner of a popular baby website who can write about baby products and recommend them. But that’s a far cry from someone who really understands babies.”
“I don’t need someone who understands babies. What I’ve got is someone who understands Grace.”
“What you’ve got is—”
“Someone who doesn’t do baby talk because she obviously thinks my daughter is smart enough to understand real words. Or maybe just wants to teach her real words. Like I do.”
She gazed at him, eyes soft. “Why do people do that, anyway? I think she should learn the word right the first time. If she can’t say it, she’ll just keep trying.”
“Exactly,” he said, taking hold of one wrist with his free hand. “Now you see why I can’t let you go.”
Of course, she thought he was talking about the babysitting gig. And he was, partly. Mostly.
“I see your point. But surely there are other babysitters out there like me. Not everyone says woo for you. Jill doesn’t. Mrs. Lane didn’t. And anyway—”
And that was it. She needed to stop talking, because he’d much rather be kissing her. He stuck the rest of the brownie in her mouth while it was open. It was not the first thing he wanted to do with that mouth of hers. Not even the second thing. But he still enjoyed the wide eyes, the pink cheeks as she chewed and studied him. He enjoyed her. When both of his hands drifted down to her hips and tugged her close, her expressive eyes went from surprised to the soft yearning look he’d seen in his fantasies.
She swallowed, and her tongue flicked out to lick her lips.
“Got that? Because you have something...right here.” His tongue licked one side of her mouth, then the other.
“Levi,” she breathed. “What are we doing?”
“Anything you want.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
THERE WAS ONLY one thing Carly had found she loved more passionately than her better-than-sex brownies with mint-chocolate frosting and chocolate slivers on top. Sex. With Levi.
Anything you want.
His voice was smoother than butter and richer than chocolate. The combination of her brownies and Levi’s kisses had her in sensory overload. Her heart kicked up and she fisted her hands in his cotton shirt, then her fingers skimmed down his abs until she rested them on the waistband of his jeans.
Levi shouldn’t promise things he couldn’t deliver. He couldn’t give her anything she wanted, because what she wanted was for the world to go away. She wanted responsibilities and obligations and even long-held dreams to disappear for now. Even for a moment. Maybe then she could be alone with Levi. She could be decadent and careless and luxuriate in soft cotton sheets and the feel of his bristled jaw against her neck. In between her legs. Everywhere.
“Tell me what you want,” Levi said, dropping openmouthed kisses down the column of her neck, on the soft spot behind her ear.
“Um...this is a good start.”
“More detail.” His fingers reached into her hair and tilted her face up to his.
She met his eyes and saw the raw heat in them. “I want you to kiss me. I like the way you kiss me.”
Her lips parted under his, and he stroked her tongue. “What else?”
Her breath caught, her legs went liquid and she couldn’t speak for a moment. “More.”
“Good answer,” he said with a wicked grin and tilted her chin up with one finger. “But whatever we do tonight is going to change everything. I won’t share you with anyone.”
His hands slid down to rest at the small of her back and he pressed against her.
He was hard, and she shivered with anticipation. “That goes for me, too. I won’t share you.”
“Understood.” He smiled against her mouth.
“Wow,” she whispered. “That was easy.”
“I’m easy. When it comes to you.” His hands glided down her arms and cuffed her wrists.
Not to be outdone, she got busy touching him everywhere, something she loved. Her wandering fingers flattened against his abs, which tightened in response. Seconds later, she wound up hoisted in his powerful arms. He threw her over his shoulder in a firefighter’s hold.
“Levi,” she said on a laugh. “What are you doing?”
“I’m saving you,” he said, moving toward his bedroom. “Always wanted to do this.”
Her upside-down view of the world was amusing. For one thing, Levi had a great ass, in his jeans and out of them, in case she’d forgotten. She hadn’t. They wound up in a tangle of limbs on his bed, both fully clothed, Levi on top. Going by the feel of him pressing against her stomach, he had to be busting out of his jeans. She wanted to remedy that and remedy it fast. When her hands drifted down lightly and tugged on his pants, he reached for her hands and stilled them.
He brought their joined hands up to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “Slow down.”
When he reached for his T-shirt and pulled it over his head with one arm, her pulse kicked up into triple digits. He had the most magnificent body, all hard, inherently male angles. Hard...everything. She pulled off her shirt, too, revealing the cami underneath. Still no sexy, push-up, demi bra. She cursed her lack of lingerie and swore she’d go to Lu Lah Lah tomorrow and stock up for the winter.
Levi didn’t seem to mind the cami. He locked eyes
with her, his blue ones searing her with desire and need. His fingers circled her breast through her sheer cami and his thumb tweaked her nipple. He pulled her cami over her head, then grazed his teeth over her lower lip.
He took in her body, as if he was trying to memorize her, and this time she wasn’t as self-conscious.
“Enjoying the view?”
“Always.” He bent to draw a nipple in his mouth. Licking and nipping, he had her writhing under him in minutes.
“Stop teasing me.” Her fingers dug into his forearms.
“Never.” He went back to her nipples, sucking and licking like he had all the time in the world.
“Levi.” She sank her fingers into his hair and held on for the ride. And he would take her on a hell of a ride. “Tell me you have a condom.”
He met her eyes. “I have a big box.”
“Oh, good.” Wait. A box? “Why a box?”
“I was hopeful.” He stopped to meet her eyes, and his were on fire with heat. “About us. You and me.”
It got her all hot and bothered picturing Levi buying those condoms. Thinking about her when he did. Because he’d wanted her again. That first time hadn’t just been memorable for her. The thought fired her up with renewed desire and an aching longing that spread to every nerve ending. And that was the thing. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. It had been so long since she’d felt this desired. This wanted. And he’d managed to make her feel this way with just one look from his blue eyes. A gentle touch from his calloused hands. And some not-so-gentle touches that were as amazing and breathtaking.
He kissed her again, his mouth demanding and possessive. His tongue hot and wild. He stopped only to bring his hands to the waistband of her jeans, where he unbuttoned and unzipped. She helped by lifting her hips to shimmy and wriggle out of them, and he pulled them the rest of the way off.
He gave her a slow smile. “Wriggle your hips like that again.”
“Like this?” Now wearing only a sheer white thong, she was nearly naked as she undulated her hips for him.
The smile slipped off his face. “Do you know how sexy you are? Look at you, babe. You’re so damn hot.”
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