'The sooner we start, the sooner it'll be done,' Risala encouraged him.
Not trusting himself to reply, Kheda turned to use the heavy sweeps to turn the little ship while Risala busied herself with the sails. Dev tended the tiller in unconcerned silence. Once they had the Amigal on her way across the open waters, Kheda went to stand in the prow, alone with his thoughts.
How can she be so cold-hearted, so ruthless? Her iron will's not so admirable now, is it, when it's turned on you instead of against the domain's foes? Rekha, of course she'd go along with Janne. I've always known there'd be no question for her if it came to a choice between me and her children. Sain, well, I've barely had time to lay claim to her loyalty.
How can I claim any loyalty from any of them, when in truth, I've done all that Janne accused me of? Did I misread the omens and the stars that led me to this? I don't believe so. But is it so unexpected that there be a price to pay for dealing with wizards, even if my intent has been pure? Have I brought this upon myself? If my intent had not been pure, perhaps I would be dead now, killed by the poison in the shellfish.
Could Sirket possibly have the right of it? He's not mired in magic the way I have undeniably been. There's certainly too much truth in what Janne had to say to ignore it. If no one claims the Chazen domain, we won't need invaders to bring disaster on the southern reaches; we'll bring it on ourselves.
What now? Do I dare take the omens from the stars tonight? Should I be studying the skies and all the signs of nature around me? How will I read them if I do, when I have absolutely no feeling for this Chazen domain, no claim upon its people and not the first notion what's going to happen now?
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Document creation date: 13 April 2010
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Southern Fire ac-1 Page 57