Most of all, she was happy, happier than she had been in years if she were honest, and it didn’t all have to do with her improved sex life, though that certainly didn’t hurt. Grant was home a lot more now. Though at first that had been incredibly awkward, with the both of them tiptoeing around each other like strangers assigned to room together in college, they were finally beginning to find their balance again. Now that Grant was home most nights, they had developed a routine of doing something together after dinner. Most of the time it was nothing big, walking around the neighborhood or watching a TV show or movie. Sometimes the girls joined them, and sometimes they didn’t. She couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had had this much time together, but it was good. They were reconnecting and becoming closer than they had been in a very long time.
Her relationship with her husband wasn’t the only thing that had improved of late either. Natalie was positively blossoming in this new community. She had gotten into the art class that she begged to take and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. She’d also gone on several of the hikes that Brent had organized to give the teenagers something to do over the summer. As a result, she’d made friends quickly, and now it seemed like every time Lainie turned around she was at some friend’s house or there were neighborhood kids trooping up her stairs and taking over the upstairs family room. Not that Lainie minded, quite the opposite. She was delighted that Natalie had finally found a place where she could be comfortable and make friends.
Before moving here, Natalie had always been somewhat isolated and socially awkward. From very early on, school had been a struggle for Natalie. She’d been held back in second grade before finally being diagnosed with a learning disability in third grade. Allowing the school to retain Natalie had possibly been one of the worst mistakes Lainie had ever made as a parent and as a teacher, it had condemned her socially. The children who had originally been her year mates had shunned her and labeled her as dumb. The children who became her year mates after her retention had shunned her because she had not originally been part of their class. No matter how hard she tried, she had never been one of them. She had been caught between the two groups, never really fitting into either one and being teased mercilessly by both.
By contrast, Kathleen had always been a social butterfly, running with the popular crowd almost from the first moment she stepped her little pink glittery sneakered foot into her kindergarten classroom. A budding fashionista and natural leader, other children, particularly other girls, had always flocked to Kathleen, eagerly following her lead, content to trail along in her orbit. Now, though, she absolutely refused to make any effort to connect with any of the young people her own age in Corbin’s Bend, despite repeated efforts on Lainie’s part to encourage her to do so. She wasn’t at all happy about the sudden turn in social fortunes. She complained loudly and voraciously every time Natalie had friends over.
“You’re welcome to do the same anytime you’d like to,” Lainie had told her after her most recent bout of complaining when the two were in the kitchen preparing dinner. That was yet another change that had come about in recent weeks. Grant had insisted that the girls be responsible for helping around the house. Lainie had given up giving them chores some time ago, finding that it took her longer and was much more stressful to try to convince them to do chores than it was just to do whatever needed doing herself. Grant, however, had reinstated them. Now the girls took turns helping with dinner and dishes and laundry. They quickly learned that arguing with their father got them nothing but lost allowances, lost electronics, and restriction of activities. Thus, Kathleen sat at the table grudgingly peeling potatoes.
“Like I could actually do that,” she spat, glaring at the potato in her hand like it was lethal. “All my friends are back in North Carolina. This is all your fault, you know. If you hadn’t dragged me out here to live in this crazy cult, I could be back home with my friends and be happy.”
“For the last time, Corbin’s Bend is not a cult. Please stop calling it that. Like your dad and I have tried to explain more than once, calling it a cult is disrespectful both to us and to our neighbors.” Lainie felt like a broken record. She’d lost count of how many times they’d had that conversation in the last month.
Kathleen shrugged, the look she gave Lainie making it obvious she hadn’t taken in a word Lainie said. “I call it like I see it.”
Lainie rubbed a hand across her forehead, not bothering to engage in what she knew would be both a fruitless and pointless argument. “Secondly, it wouldn’t hurt for you to at least try to make friends with some of the teenagers around here.”
“Why would I want to do that? Everyone here is lame,” she huffed.
“How do you know that?” Lainie persisted. “They can’t be all bad. Besides, didn’t I see you talking to a boy at the pool last weekend?”
“No you did not,” Kathleen informed her haughtily, flinging her hair back over her shoulders and blowing impatiently at the blonde streaked with hot pink locks that fell in her face. “You saw him talking to me. That doesn’t mean I was talking back. Maybe at first. He seemed cool. I thought I might have finally found someone who lives here who was sane. Turns out, he actually thinks all this crazy spanking stuff is perfectly normal. He had the nerve to tell me he expected to be allowed to spank any girl who was his girlfriend.”
“Honey, for the kids who have grown up here, this is normal,” Lainie explained gently.
“No, it’s not!” Kathleen shouted, throwing both knife and potato down on the table. “This is not normal! No one is ever going to hit me!” She erupted out of her chair, sending it clattering across the floor. “It’s abuse, and I know it even if you don’t. Everyone in the real world says so.” Before Lainie could respond, Kathleen had fled up the stairs. Seconds later, her bedroom door slammed, echoing through the house like an explosion.
“What was that all about?” Grant asked, coming in from work on the heels of Kathleen’s exit.
Sighing, Lainie righted the chair, picked up the discarded knife, and told him. Before she had even finished the story, Grant came over and put his arms around her, letting her drop her head back against his chest. “I wish this wasn’t so hard for her,” she said when she had finished recounting.
“I do too,” Grant replied, “but we can’t help her understand if she refuses to even consider another point of view.”
“That’s a point,” Lainie conceded, “but I wonder if we’re not asking too much of a fifteen-year-old. I’m just beginning to understand this lifestyle myself, and I entered into it as a consenting – if naïve – adult. She didn’t really have much of a choice.”
“She did,” Grant insisted. “We talked about this together as a family. She had as much opportunity as anybody else to raise concerns.”
“She’s fifteen, Grant,” Lainie said. “How much real understanding can she possibly have? I knew your father and grandfather and had at least had conversations with you about this lifestyle before I agreed to it. The girls don’t even have that, not really.”
“We’ve had conversations with them too,” Grant countered. “I’ve tried my best to make them understand. You’ve talked to them. What else are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t know,” Lainie admitted. “I just know I hate seeing her so angry and unhappy. I wish there was something I could do to cheer her up. Maybe if she could get out of her funk, she’d be able to begin to see things differently. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re miserable and brooding.”
“And whose fault is that?” Grant persisted. “She is the one who’s choosing to stay holed up in her room. No one is forcing her to stay up there. She’s free to come out and stop brooding anytime she chooses. It’s not like she’s under house arrest, as long as she’s not grounded.
“And just how often has she not being grounded this summer?” Lainie asked dryly. These days Kathleen seemed to spend far more time in trouble then she did out of it. The days she made it without facing some kin
d of consequence were unfortunately few and far between.
“That’s her choice too,” Grant replied. “We’re only expecting that she be respectful and responsible. That’s not too much to ask.”
Philosophically, Lainie agreed with him, but she also understood all too well what it was like to be suddenly facing limits and expectations that had not been always been there, or at least had not always been consistently enforced. To Grant, who’d lived in a family where the expectations had been there all his life, these were elementary concepts. He didn’t understand why Kathleen seemed to be struggling with them so much when he himself thought of them as second nature. Lainie, however, knew all about that impulse to buck the system and to remain fiercely independent. She couldn’t very well fault it in her daughter when she knew perfectly well exactly where her daughter had gotten that particular trait. “I’m not disagreeing with you,” Lainie told him. “I’m just saying maybe if she could have some fun she could be more open to all the changes.”
“Did you have something in mind?” Grant asked.
“Not really,” Lainie said. “Maybe I could take the girls to Denver and have a girl’s day out. I think it would do Kathleen good to see more of Colorado than Corbin’s Bend.”
“Are you sure that’s not rewarding her bad behavior?” Grant questioned.
“I don’t know,” Lainie told him honestly, “And frankly I don’t care. Nothing we’ve tried so far has worked, and I’m tired of seeing her mope. It can’t hurt to try.”
“I suppose it can’t,” Grant agreed, “and if it works it might just save our sanity.”
* * * * *
A few days later, Lainie found herself standing in the parking lot of an open air mall in Denver twisting a paper map this way and that trying to figure out how to navigate her way to the girls’ favorite stores. It was the perfect day for it with a glorious blue sky and temperatures that would have been considered spring-like in North Carolina.
So far, the day had been very pleasant. It was as if the cloud has lifted off of Kathleen the farther they had gotten from Corbin’s Bend. She’d actually engaged in conversation, real honest-to-goodness conversation. Granted, it had inevitably devolved into good-natured bickering with Natalie over music and celebrities and current trends, but it was so refreshingly normal that Lainie had wanted to cheer. She’d take typical adolescent bickering any day over the brooding and anger that had clouded their lives for weeks now. There had been one tense moment when a driver in a Volkswagen Bug had passed them on the road, and Natalie had slugged Kathleen in the arm, yelling, “Punch Bug!”
That particular road game had the potential to go wrong even on a good day. Lainie winced internally, hoping that Kathleen’s good humor was sufficient for her to see it in the playful way that Natalie meant it and that it wouldn’t lead to a tantrum and a meltdown. Miraculously, Kathleen had only rolled her eyes and shoved Natalie away, declaring, “You are such a nerd!”
Once, being called a name would have had Natalie shrinking back and blushing with embarrassment. Natalie had become far more confident over the last few weeks though. She grinned at Kathleen, puffing up her chest in an exaggerated manner. “Yep and proud of it!” Kathleen shoved her again, and Natalie dissolved into giggles. Lainie shook her head exasperatedly, but she loved every minute of it.
The good mood lasted through the first several shops and lunch in a restaurant tucked into a corner of the outdoor mall. It was in the middle of a large department store while they were browsing through the juniors section when things started to go drastically wrong. The girls were wandering around looking through the clothes, pulling out various pieces and putting them together, forming outfits and checking prices and sizes when Kathleen turned and asked Lainie when they would need to come shopping for school clothes.
Before Lainie could answer, Natalie had turned and looked at Kathleen askance. “What are you talking about?” she asked. “We won’t need new clothes for school this year, at least not these clothes. We have to wear uniforms.”
“Maybe you elementary kids do,” Kathleen replied, clearly unable to resist getting in a dig at her sister for being stuck in elementary school rather than moving on to middle school as she had expected, “but surely not in high school. We’re way too old for uniforms. We’re practically adults.”
“Shows what you know,” Natalie sniffed haughtily. “All the schools in Corbin’s Bend have uniforms, even the high school. Tell her, Mom.”
Lainie shifted uncomfortably. This was not going to go well. How could they have neglected to inform Kathleen of that little detail? They had lived in Corbin’s Bend for over a month now. Surely it had come up in conversation somewhere or the other kids had mentioned it. Natalie had clearly been informed, but just as clearly she had not thought to inform her sister. “Maybe we should talk about this at home,” Lainie said slowly. This was not a conversation she wanted to have in public, knowing full well it was likely to cause a meltdown of epic proportions.
Unfortunately, Lainie’s hesitation told Kathleen all she needed to know. “You have got to be kidding me!” she screeched. “No! I won’t do it! Do you hear me? I won’t do it, and you can’t make me!” She was shouting, wild-eyed and utterly furious, completely out of proportion with simply not wanting to wear uniforms. People around them were beginning to stop and stare. Lainie’s face began to burn. It was as though every eye in the store was on her and they were all judging her for her inability to control her child.
“Kathleen, please, just calm down,” she said quietly. “This isn’t the time or the place. We can talk about this at home.”
“Calm down! Don’t tell me to calm down. This is your fault. It’s bad enough you drag me all the way out here to live in some crazy cult. Now you’re trying to take away my identity too! I won’t do it!” Kathleen shouted. They were beginning to draw a crowd, and several of the spectators were clearly hanging on every word.
Lainie edged closer, wrapping an arm around Kathleen’s shoulders and trying to guide her out of the store. “School doesn’t start for a while yet. We can talk about this later.”
Kathleen snatched away. “I don’t want to talk about it. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m not doing it, and I don’t care what anyone says. You can’t make me. Even if you let him beat me. I’ll run away first.”
For a moment, Lainie couldn’t speak, equal parts mortified, horrified, and enraged. Part of her fervently wished the floor would swallow her whole, and the other part could have cheerfully throttled her daughter. “Kathleen Elaina Taylor!” she hissed. “That. Is. Enough. Stop this nonsense. You’re being ridiculous. No one has ever beaten you in your life.”
“It’s not nonsense,” Kathleen insisted. “He beats you, doesn’t he?”
Incensed beyond all patience, Lainie grabbed Kathleen’s arm and yanked hard, dragging her toward the nearest exit. “Natalie, we’re leaving,” she called over her shoulder. Natalie hung the shirts she was looking at back on the rack and moved with alacrity. Her expression said she was as eager to get out of this embarrassing situation as Lainie was.
When they made it out of the store, Kathleen succeeded in twisting away from Lainie. “Get off me,” she snapped.
Lainie let her go, too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to continue attempting to manhandle her daughter. At fifteen, Kathleen was already several inches taller than Lainie and it was only the extreme nature of the situation that even led her to attempt it. “Go get in the car,” Lainie commanded.
“Mama,” Natalie whined. “I wanted to keep looking. Can’t we just go to another store away from this one?”
“We’re going home,” Lainie told her.
“That’s not fair,” Natalie said stubbornly. “It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything. Why should I have to stop just because she threw a fit?”
“Because I have had all I can take today,” Lainie replied in a tone that booked no contradiction. “I cannot deal with both of you right now. Get in the
car, Natalie Anne.” Natalie threw her sister a withering look but subsided, following along without further comment.
* * * * *
The ride home was stonily silent. The girls both pulled out music and earbuds and pointedly ignored each other. All of the earlier fun and teasing had evaporated, replaced by a tension thick enough to be nearly smothering. Eventually Lainie’s fury and embarrassment began to subside. She began to worry and stew about Kathleen’s unhappiness. Was it really fair of them to force her to live somewhere where she was clearly miserable? The tantrum was over the top, but it was clearly fueled by an anger that had been building for a long time. Maybe this move and the changes in their lifestyle were just too much for Kathleen. It had been hard enough for her, and she wasn’t a teenager. She should have been clearer with Kathleen about school and uniforms and all of the changes. Springing them on her out of the blue wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right to assume that just because Natalie knew and had adapted that Kathleen would as well. She should’ve talked it over with both of them before they ever moved. They should’ve done a far better job of preparing the girls. Granted, it would’ve been hard to prepare them for something she did not fully understand herself, but she should’ve made more of an effort. When it came down to it, this whole mess was her fault. Hers and Grant’s, But mostly hers. She dealt with adolescent tantrums on a daily basis and had for years. She should’ve seen this coming.
Learning to Live Again (Corbin's Bend, Season Two Book 9) Page 12