“Up and down.” Joss leant back as the waitress brought out their sandwiches and gave her a smile, and then changed the subject. Clearly, he didn’t want to talk about his problems. “So, how are things going with Tash?”
Kole took a big bite of the chicken and tomato sandwich and chewed for a moment as he considered how to answer. Joss met his gaze, and they both started to laugh.
“All right,” Kole said wryly, taking another swig of Coke.
“She hooked you yet?”
“She’s doing her best.” Nicely sidestepped, Kole.
Joss lowered his voice conspiratorially. “What’s she like? As feisty in bed as out?”
Kole took another bite of the sandwich. When they were younger, the two of them had often compared notes on girlfriends and sex—it was the only way they ever learned anything. But for the first time in his life, he felt reluctant to talk. This thing with Tasha might only be a fling, but even so, he didn’t want to divulge personal details about what they got up to when they were alone.
“Ah,” Joss said.
“Ah what?”
“I knew it. I fucking knew you’d fall for her.”
Kole glared at him. “I haven’t. I just don’t want to go into detail.”
Joss studied him, a thoughtful expression on his face. “But it’s not what you expected?”
Kole went to deny it, then sighed. Fuck the bet, he’d known Joss a long time. If he couldn’t speak to his best mate about this mess, who could he talk to?
He looked out at the harbor, at the nearest white boat rocking in the light summer breeze. Someone had tied tinsel around the mast, reminding him it was nearly Midsummer’s Eve. Only two more nights to go. Would he be upset or relieved when it was all over?
“Yes and no,” he said. “I knew it would be fun, and it is. But I underestimated the effect our friendship would have. Usually, when I get together with a girl, I don’t know her well, and it takes a while for intimacy to grow.”
“At which point you run a mile.”
Kole’s lips twisted. “Yeah. But we’ve all known each other since we were teenagers. She knew me before I went to uni, before Harry died. It’s like she’s Dorothy, peering behind the curtain.”
“Does it make you uncomfortable?”
“Yes. I hadn’t thought of it before, but it does. I like Tash. She’s great fun, and we’ve got on great. But it makes me uneasy she knows me so well.” He twisted the ring he wore on his right hand. “I decided after Harry died I wanted to live life to the full. I didn’t want to commit myself to one person and feel I had to stay with them out of some misguided loyalty that would just end up making us both miserable. And so, if things look like they’re getting serious with a girl, I just back off before it develops into anything more.”
“Before she gets to know you,” Joss commented.
“I guess so, yeah.”
“But Tasha already has a head start.”
Kole ate another bite of sandwich, and didn’t reply. They sat for a while, watching the gannets diving into the water and emerging with fish in their beaks.
“What are you going to do?” Joss asked eventually. “Do you want to take this further?”
“I don’t know. Five years ago, I thought I’d never settle down. It…” He went to say “scares me,” but closed his mouth so the words didn’t fall out.
“Yeah,” Joss said, as if he’d said them anyway. “I know.”
They watched a family who were obviously on holiday looking in the shop windows. The parents held hands while a small girl and an even smaller boy ran in front of them. When the boy tripped and fell, letting out a squawk of pain, the father ran forward to pick him up and cuddled him until he stopped crying.
The two men eating their sandwiches exchanged a glance.
“You want kids?” Kole asked. It wasn’t a subject they’d ever talked about before.
Joss frowned. “Not yet. Maybe when I’m in my thirties. I don’t have room for anything in my life at the moment except work, Hayley, and my parents.”
Kole knew Joss had lived in Auckland with a woman called Ana for a while. He’d met her in South America, where he’d worked for a few years, and she’d come back to live in New Zealand with him. Kole had met her once, when he’d gone down to the city on business. She’d seemed nice, somewhat intense, and she’d been all over Joss. But only a month later they’d broken up, and Joss had returned to Mangonui, silent, serious, and apparently determined to stay single.
Joss glanced at him. “You?”
Kole looked back at the tinsel-bedecked boat. “I’d have given a resounding no if you’d asked me six months ago. But Harry’s five-year anniversary last month, and now this thing with Tash…” He gave a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know. I feel…odd.”
“Restless?”
“No, not really. The opposite, oddly. Settled. I thought coming back here might make me frustrated and claustrophobic, but instead I feel comfortable. Content. I’ve travelled, lived here, there, and everywhere, been with plenty of women, and now…” He didn’t know what he was trying to say, so he tailed off.
“Are we getting old?” Joss asked,
He gave a short laugh. “Maybe.”
Joss finished off his Coke. “I’d better get back.”
Kole stuffed the last of his sandwich in his mouth, and they began the walk up to Joss’s surgery.
On the way, they talked about how the Black Caps were doing against the Aussies in the cricket, but Kole’s stomach churned uneasily as his mind played over their conversation. He liked Tasha. They’d had great fun. But how did a person know when a relationship was strong enough to develop into something more? They could stay together and give it a try. But what if things fell apart? Then he’d lose her as a friend, and possibly also get his heart broken in the process. He’d tried to avoid that for years. Was he brave enough to go for it now?
Chapter Twenty-Six
“No,” Tasha said for the umpteenth time. “Absolutely not.”
“Jolly good,” Laura Wilde replied as if she hadn’t answered. She handed the pretty pink top to the sales assistant. “We’ll take it.”
Tasha gritted her teeth and pulled her mother to one side of the shop. “Will you stop bossing me about?” she said furiously. “I’m twenty-four and perfectly able to buy my own clothes.”
“And yet you don’t have a single thing in your wardrobe suitable for a wedding.”
“I do so!”
“You can’t wear jeans,” Laura snapped.
“Mother, I’m helping Kole with the photography, I’m not the fucking bride.”
Laura narrowed her eyes. “First, mind your language, and second, it doesn’t matter. It’s a wedding, and you have to look pretty for your boyfriend.”
Now Tasha was really getting angry. “He’s not my boyfriend, and I refuse to change the way I dress for a man!”
Other customers were starting to glance over at their raised voices. Laura grabbed her daughter’s wrist and dragged her into a quieter corner of the shop.
Tasha yanked her arm away, close to tears. “Let go.”
Laura stood in front of her, blocking her way out. “Will you grow up, for God’s sake? I’m not saying you have to alter your entire personality for this man. But Kole runs a business, and he’s asked you to accompany him to help. The least you can do is act the part and stop being so bloody drab!”
Tasha stared mutely at her mother. The fact that Laura was right only made things worse. Tasha hadn’t thought of it like that, but of course while Kole worked he would be advertising his business to all the guests at the wedding, and he might get more bookings on the day. It did make sense to smarten herself up a bit.
She looked down, tired and dispirited. She’d spent the morning at work having trouble concentrating because all she could think about was the evening before and how much she’d enjoyed herself. Then Maisey had insisted on going through her Christmas shopping list, which only served to remind Tasha
that Midsummer’s Eve was two nights away, and after that this lovely time she was having would be over. And then she worried because she knew she’d fallen for Kole, and she was going to lose both him and the fucking shop. And now her mother was nagging her, and making her feel fourteen all over again.
Laura studied her for a moment, then turned away wordlessly and went over to the till. She paid for the pink top, came and took Tasha’s hand this time, and led her out of the shop and toward a local café.
Kerikeri was full of bustling holidaymakers in shorts and T-shirts eating ice creams, but they found a table on the pavement, and ordered an iced coffee.
“Would you like a piece of cake to go with that?” the waitress asked. “We do a lovely chocolate brownie, and a great carrot cake.”
“No, thank you,” Laura said smoothly before Tasha could reply. “You’re putting on weight,” she declared to her daughter once the waitress had walked off.
Tasha didn’t have the energy to argue. “Thanks.”
Laura tipped her sunhat carefully to shade her face from the sun’s rays. “Now I know there’s something wrong. You would never normally let me get away with that.”
“I’m fine.”
Laura leaned forward, and to Tasha’s surprise, picked up her hand and held it in her own. “You’re not. What’s the matter, sweetie?”
“I just feel a bit…flat.”
“Why? I thought you’d be all buzzy now you’re seeing Kole. He’s such a lovely young man. Very alpha male. Just what you need.”
Tasha blew out a long breath. “I’m not ‘seeing’ him. Well, I am, but not the way you think. It’s a finite fling. It finishes on Sunday.”
“Goodness. Why have you given it a use-by date?”
“It’s complicated,” Tasha said softly. She didn’t want to explain about the bet.
Laura stroked her hand. “Sweetie, you obviously like this man. Perhaps you should rethink the situation?”
“I…” Tasha retrieved her hand as the waitress came out with their iced coffees. She gathered her thoughts while she stirred the straw in the creamy cold mixture, then took a long sip. “I do like him.”
“Does he like you?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Then…”
“It’s complicated, Mum. You remember what happened to Harry?”
“His brother? Of course. That poor family, such a tragedy. Do you ever hear from Skye?”
“Yes, apparently she’s in Germany at the moment. Anyway, when Harry died it broke Kole’s heart, as you would expect it to. And because of that, I think he’s determined never to love anyone again, because he’s afraid of losing them.”
Laura thought about that as she sipped her iced coffee delicately. “But that’s stupid,” she concluded. “You can’t avoid having a relationship just because it might come to an end.”
“Hey, you know that, and I know that…”
“You want me to talk to him?”
“Good God, no.” Tasha spoke with horror. “Swear to me you won’t.”
Laura waved a hand. “I won’t, I promise. But someone needs to.”
“I don’t know, Mum, I think it’s something he’s going to have to come to terms with himself. I suppose one day he’ll meet a girl he won’t be able to keep away from, and that will change the way he thinks about love. But I don’t think that girl is me.” The words came out sounding a lot sadder than she’d thought they would.
“Rubbish,” Laura scoffed. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You are totally the woman for him, darling. But what you have to understand is that sometimes it takes a little effort to get the guy you want.”
Tasha frowned. “I am not going on a diet.”
“I don’t mean that. Not that it would hurt in your case.” She ignored Tasha’s rolling of the eyes. “Look, men can be surprisingly dense, even the clever ones. They don’t always realize what they want is right under their noses. Sometimes you have to show them what their greatest desire is.”
“You’re saying I have to manipulate him into loving me? That doesn’t sound very romantic.”
Laura gave an exasperated sigh and banged on the table. “You girls of today!” Her voice held a surprising note of determination. “You shout about feminism and women’s rights and think if a man pays for dinner he’s being sexist, and yet on the other hand you complain if they’re not romantic. You want equality and for them to respect you, and you refuse to change for them, as if doing so means you’re giving up your freedom. But you don’t understand that a successful relationship relies on compromise and on the two of you adjusting until you match. It’s like you’re a round beaker and he’s a square block of ice. The two don’t fit! But if you melt him a little…” Her lips curved.
Tasha’s head spun. “But surely that’s not always the case? We’re all told to wait for Mr. Right, like there’s one man out there who’s absolutely perfect for us.”
“Honey, I’m sorry to tell you this, but no man is perfect. It’s a sliding scale—some are more perfect than others. But I’m sorry to tell you there won’t be one man out there who you will be a hundred percent compatible with. To make a relationship work, to make sure you fit together, you will both have to adjust.”
“And if I refuse?”
Laura shrugged. “Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? In the old days, if we broke a vase, we fixed it—we didn’t throw it away and get a new one. Relationships don’t just happen. They have to be worked at.”
“You’ve been divorced three times,” Tasha pointed out. “You’re hardly an expert on lasting relationships.
“Sweetie, I haven’t had three failed marriages, I’ve had three successful ones that came to an end for various reasons. George and I have been together five years now. Do you think when we first met we immediately knew we wanted to marry each other? Of course not! He did lots of things that annoyed me, and I’m sure I did lots of things that annoyed him too. But I wanted him. So I adjusted, I compromised, and I made him realize he didn’t want to live without me.” She smiled, like a cat that not only had the cream but ten tins of tuna as well.
Laura went on to change the subject, and Tasha let her, not wanting to talk any further about Kole or her mother’s marriages. But when they’d finished their drinks and parted ways, Tasha thought about what she’d said as she walked to her car and drove the hour or so home to Mangonui.
For as long as she could remember, she’d rebelled against her mother’s attitude toward men and thought her weak for changing herself to fit her partners. Tasha had been determined never to be like that.
But for the first time, she began to wonder if her point of view was somewhat childish. Sure, it was important to her to remain self-sufficient, not to be in thrall to a man, and to ensure her partner respected her and listened to her opinions and points of view. But when it came to men, what did she really know? She’d had three rather dismal relationships, the longest of which had ended because the guy had gone off with someone else. Deep down, she knew she’d never thrown off the fear that Lewis’s betrayal had cast over her. It had definitely contributed to her fiercely independent streak. She’d always blamed her attitude toward relationships on her mother, but if she was true to herself—and now she realized she probably hadn’t been in the past—her failure to keep Lewis interested had been more of a factor than she’d thought. Of course, his straying wasn’t all down to her. But it had engendered a feeling of inadequacy within her that had obviously helped to form her current temperament.
So where did that leave her and Kole? They were both screwed up in their own, individual ways. Could they ever make it work? Would he ever be able to accept love didn’t come with a guarantee? And could she bring herself to believe she could influence how he felt about her by changing the way she acted toward him?
She pulled up outside his house and checked her watch. It was only just gone five and he’d had an appointment over on Ninety Mile Beach photographing some annual surfing
competition, so she wasn’t surprised to see his car missing from the drive. Luckily, he’d given her a key for the few days she was staying with him, so she let herself in, poured a glass of wine, took it onto the deck, and sat and watched the boats in the harbor, lost in thought.
The front door opened around an hour later, and she rose and went into the house to meet him. Her heart swelled as he closed the door and dumped his bag on the floor then came straight over to her, his face lighting up.
“Hey you.” He picked her up and sat her on the worktop, then wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “I’ve missed you.”
She pressed her nose into his T-shirt and inhaled the scent of sea, barbecued food, and hot man, touched by his heartfelt hug. “Me too.” Then she pushed back, raised her head, and smiled up at him. His cheekbones and nose were red, his lips dry. “You’ve caught the sun. Didn’t you wear a hat?”
“I did, I swear. It was fucking hot out there though.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Remind me to take sun lotion tomorrow.” Then he kissed her again, longer this time.
She sighed happily and kissed him back, and made no objection when he lifted her and carried her into the bedroom. They opened the doors to the deck and let the evening sun spill into the room, along with the sound of the cicadas in the bush, and made love slowly, sensuously, as though they had all the time in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Midsummer’s Eve dawned bright and sunny. Tasha was relieved for the bride’s sake. How awful it must be to plan a summer wedding and then have it ruined by rain. But her relief was also tinged with a strange sense of disbelief. Her mood demanded thunder and lightning, or some illustration at least of how she felt that this fling was due to come to an end.
Several times during the previous evening, and when they woke—as usual—in the night to make love, she went to talk to Kole about their predicament. But each time the words refused to leave her lips. She didn’t doubt he had some affection for her. And clearly he was enjoying their affair. But was it more than that? Her heart told her yes, but her instincts also reminded her of his words when they’d arranged the bet. I want that shop. And I’m going to get it. He’d told her blatantly, with no attempt to hide the fact he’d go all out to win. But then that’s it… I’m not looking for a relationship. And I don’t want you blaming me when you lose the shop and your heart. He’d been very clear. And she couldn’t shake the small voice in her head that told her on Sunday at one o’clock when they sat in Aqua Blue, Joss and Maisey would proclaim him the winner, and Kole would rub his hands and give her a gleeful look before walking off without a backward glance.
Treat with Caution (Treats to Tempt You Book 1) Page 19