“Okay, lady. Let’s figure out where to go from here. You have to go to work?”
Sam nodded. “Just until noon. Then I was planning to head out for the weekend.”
“So here’s what we do. We take the car to a guy I know who does window glass. We leave it there and agree to not worry about it ‘til Monday. Then we rent a car, and you head out.”
Sam hesitated. “It seems like a lot of trouble. Maybe I should call and cancel.”
“Is that what you want to do?”
“Well, of course not! I just feel like maybe this is an omen or something…”
Barry was now in the odd position of convincing Sam to do something he probably didn’t want her to do. “Ms. Samantha. You know you want to go tonight. And everything else is arranged. The car thing is not such a big fuckin’ deal. Just let me help you.”
Sam stood and downed the last sip of her vodka, leaving the empty glass on the coffee table. “You’re right. Let’s go.”
Chapter 10: Paradise
It was now 2:00 P.M., and Sam had an hour to get to the hotel, just enough time to meet Valerie at the scheduled hour of three. She was determined to put all of the preceding events of the day behind her: the accident, the search for a rental car, the conversations with various police officers. She had done the best she could to handle a very weird situation, and she had handled it, with Barry’s help. And now she was on the way to see this woman she found so totally irresistible. In Sam’s mind, nothing else mattered.
Sam arrived at the hotel and checked in, letting the desk clerk know she was expecting “a friend.” But she didn’t actually need the desk to inform her of Valerie’s arrival, as she spent the next two hours staring expectantly out the window of the room and drinking wine. The minutes ticked slowly by, and still no Valerie. After about two hours of this, Sam couldn’t stand it anymore, and called Barry at home. She thought of him first and foremost as her best friend, and thus far he had never failed to be there when she needed him. It didn’t even occur to Sam it might be uncomfortable for Barry to hear about his fiancé’s anxiety over the tardiness of her lover.
He picked up on the first ring. “Hey, lady. What’s going on?”
Sam launched right into her predicament, “She’s not here yet. We said three. I’m really worried, but I can’t call her at home…”
“Sam, just calm down. Maybe she had a flat or something.”
“I thought of that—but wouldn’t she at least call?”
“Okay, look. Just fix yourself a drink and wait another half hour. Then call me back and we’ll go from there.”
Sam reluctantly agreed. “Right…okay. I’ll call you. Thanks, Barry.” And Sam hung up the phone and followed Barry’s direction. She mixed a drink in one of the hotel plastic cups and took it outside to the patio at the front of the hotel. She watched intently for Valerie’s small black car, with the familiar face in the driver’s seat.
At 5:15, Valerie’s car squealed into the parking lot. She was obviously as anxious to arrive as Sam was to have her there. Sam ran out to meet her as she got out of the car.
“Oh, baby, I’m so glad to be here.”
All of Sam’s anxiety melted away on hearing her say this. “Are you okay? I was a little bit worried…”
“You won’t believe the past few days I’ve had,” said Valerie. “Sally’s son has been at the house—what a fuckin’ loser—there’s bound to be trouble any time he shows up. He’s supposed to go to court in Tallahassee next week. That whole bullshit has been on my mind for the past few days non-stop. When I came to the turn-off, I kept going past I-75. That’s why I’m so late.”
This sounded a bit weird to Sam, vaguely suspicious, but not a blatant enough lie to call her on. Little did Sam know this was only the beginning of a web of half-truths and made-up stories she would receive from Valerie. At this point, she accepted the deception simply because she wanted to. After all, Valerie had arrived safely, and they would get to spend a whole evening and night together with no outside obligations to distract them.
The experience of being with Valerie had thus far only been positive for Sam, and today seemed to be no exception. Valerie grinned at her, called her “baby girl,” and kissed her in the elevator on the way up to their room. Their room! Sam was acutely conscious of the fact that this was the first time she and Valerie were both staying in the hotel room—and Valerie wouldn’t have to leave her in the middle of the night. At this realization, every possible negative outcome left Sam’s head, and she relaxed into the glorious feeling of being with her lover. She had waited too long for this sensation to let anything spoil it.
As soon as they got into the room, Valerie produced a bottle of expensive vodka from her suitcase and poured both of them a stiff drink. Sam decided not to worry about anything, but to go with the moment. Valerie sat in the armchair by the bed and motioned to Sam to join her. This was only the beginning of an entire afternoon and night of constant touching and physical intimacy between the two women.
For Sam, it represented total connection, a melding of flesh and spirit she had longed for inexpressibly. Unfortunately, it was impossible for Sam to know exactly what was going on in Valerie’s head. Sam, once again, vowed to go with the feeling and believe in the moment. What else could she do?
After a time of kissing and touching in the armchair, they moved to the bed. Sam made an instant decision to give herself up to the physical experience of being with Valerie, regardless of the ultimate outcome. She needed this—she deserved it. Being in this woman’s arms and surrendering herself to the pleasure of lesbian sex felt to Sam like payment for all the years she had spent in her hometown, raising her kids, and pretending to be someone she wasn’t. She absolutely refused to let herself feel guilty.
As the sun went down outside the hotel window, the two lovers moved to get dressed and go find some dinner. For Sam, every part of the night held magic: the dinner in a small, quaint bistro, the walk down the block to the local gay club, the time spent in the company of other partying gays and lesbians, and the final return to the hotel room. Sam was certain she had never had so many orgasms in one twelve-hour period. Her body seemed to be in a state of constant sexual awareness.
Suddenly, it was morning. Sam woke to find herself tangled in Valerie’s embrace, with one arm flung carelessly across the other woman’s breasts. It took her a moment to come back to the surface of consciousness, to ground herself in time and place. As she moved slightly and looked around, Valerie woke up.
“Good morning, gorgeous.”
Sam was slightly startled but recovered her composure quickly. “Hey. Did you sleep okay?”
Valerie replied gallantly, “Of course—you were here with me. You amaze me, Samantha.”
Sam was now totally awake. She propped herself up on one elbow and gazed at this mysterious and indefinable creature in her bed.
Valerie went on, “For someone who claims to be inexperienced, you’ve definitely gotten the hang of lesbian sex pretty quickly.”
Sam blushed but kept her cool, remembering a line from a movie that seemed to fit, “Well, I guess it must be that ‘home court advantage,’ ya know?”
Valerie laughed. Sam was pleased with herself for keeping the mood light, when she really felt head-over-heels in love. She slipped out of bed to visit the restroom, returning to find Valerie still naked, but sitting up and smoking. Sam curled up beside her and sighed softly.
After several minutes of silence, Valerie said softly, “What’s on your mind, baby girl?”
Sam hesitated. She didn’t want to scare the other woman away by being too intense. “I guess…I’m just thinking…that I would be really sad if I never got to see you again.”
There was a long pause during which Sam held her breath, waiting for her lover’s response. “You will see me again, baby. I guarantee it.”
Sam wanted to ask “when” but wisely decided not to. Instead, she simply said, “Good.” She sensed their time together was
about to come to an end, and she wanted to leave things on an upbeat note.
The next half hour was taken up by preparations for leaving; both women dressing and packing, with a few kisses and caresses thrown in. As they went down on the elevator, Sam tried not to stare at Valerie, but was intensely aware she had no idea when she would see her again. Sam was also aware she had promised Barry she would make Valerie promise to tell Sally about her relationship with Sam before their next meeting. Sam was pretty sure they had discussed this the night before, but her memories were so clouded with alcohol and sex she couldn’t really be certain.
Sam was relieved when Valerie brought up the topic herself, as they stood next to Sam’s car saying good-bye. “You will see me again, baby. And I will talk to Sally. Don’t worry.” Sam smiled, but said nothing. They kissed, and Sam got into her car, feeling something like the sensation of ripping Velcro apart as she separated herself from Valerie. Sam was exhausted, overwhelmed with emotion, and immensely glad she didn’t have to deal with kids when she got home. She pulled out of the parking lot, watching Valerie as she stood there, waving and then giving a jaunty little salute.
Chapter 11: Misunderstanding
As she drove home from her night with Valerie, she contemplated her various options, a knot in her stomach all the while. Her wedding with Barry was set for the following fall, and they were starting to look for a house. She did want to live with Barry, and she knew he was open to outside relationships for each of them. But he seemed to view everything about Valerie with distaste. Sam, on the other hand, found her absolutely irresistible. And she still had Alex “lined up,” so to speak—waiting to meet Sam whenever it could be arranged. It was confusing, and exhausting.
Life went on. Sam went to work, took care of the kids, saw Barry, talked to her mom—with one ear tuned to hear the phone ring. When more than a week had passed with no word from Valerie, Sam started getting nervous. Had she invested so much emotion in someone who would never really be there? The expression on Barry’s face, and Sam’s own common sense, told her this was precisely what had happened.
In a desperate attempt to take her mind off Valerie, Sam decided to call Alex and see how that might work out. Like Sam, Alex had kids and a male partner—maybe Barry was right and this would be a “better fit” for Sam.
Alex’s husband answered the phone. Sam didn’t like the idea of having to chat with him in order to get to Alex, but she didn’t really have a choice.
“Jake? This is Samantha. Alex’s online friend. Is she there?”
It took Jake a moment to process. Sam waited.
“Oh, sure—Sam! Hang on, I’ll find her.”
Alex came on the line, sounding a little breathless. “Sam! I’m so glad to hear from you.”
Sam felt herself relaxing. Alex did want to talk to her and would probably jump at any chance to meet Sam offered. True, she wasn’t Valerie, but she was available.
“Hi, Alex. I feel really bad about not calling you sooner…how are you?”
“Okay…busy with school and kids…you know.”
Sam decided to cut to the chase. “The reason I called…well, to talk to you, of course, but—I was hoping we could get together sometime soon. Maybe in June? We could meet at the beach.” Again, Sam waited.
Alex was quiet, then: “Cool, yes, of course!” Alex laughed—what Sam thought was a very cute and feminine laugh. “But, wait…”
Sam tensed up again. Could she meet at the beach or not?
“What are you doing this weekend for Memorial Day?”
Sam thought quickly. Emily and Dax were with their dad, her mom was out of town, and Barry would be happy she was finally meeting Alex. There was absolutely no reason she should turn down whatever it was Alex had in mind.
“Nothing, really. What were you thinking?”
“Well, would you want to come here? I’ll get a room for you. I can come meet you for dinner and we can spend some time together. It’s pretty far to drive, though…”
Sam decided not to think, just do it. “No, it’s okay. I’d love to.”
Alex laughed again. “Great! It’ll be fun.” And she went on to give Sam directions to the motel.
“Okay…I’ll see you Friday night then. Cool.”
“Friday night,” repeated Alex. “Bye.”
Sam hung up the phone, wondering what she had just gotten herself into. She had never even met this girl, and now she was making a three-hour drive on a holiday weekend to see her. Well, at least she was doing something besides moping around thinking about Valerie. She called Barry to tell him what was going on.
* * * *
The drive down was long and boring, past countless hick towns and cow pastures. Sam’s head was overloaded with a jumble of thoughts and emotions, ranging from excitement about meeting Alex to despair over not hearing from Valerie, mixed with apprehension about her life in general. Luckily, it didn’t require much concentration to find the motel Alex had told her about. Sam discovered it was the only motel in the tiny town where Alex and Jake lived.
The clerk, a sleepy looking young girl with rimless glasses and dirty blonde hair, was expecting Sam and checked her in with no hassle. Alex had apparently paid for the room ahead of time. Sam was flattered and pleased, looking forward to meeting the other woman at last. As she settled into the room, which was modestly furnished but appeared to be clean, the bedside phone rang. It was Jake, letting Sam know Alex was on her way over.
As it turned out, Alex looked just like her picture on the Find a Friend website. She was tall and slim, with shoulder length brownish hair, green eyes that crinkled at the corners, and an infectious smile. She shook Sam’s hand, laughed, and then gave her a self-conscious hug. Sam offered Alex a glass of wine, and they sat awkwardly in the two armchairs by the window. Sam distractedly wondered if Alex was expecting something like the erotic scenes Sam had written to her via email—she wasn’t sure she could fulfill that expectation with the memory of Valerie’s hands and lips vividly intruding.
The ice was finally broken after a second glass of wine, when Sam commented on Alex’s red toenails. “Polished toenails are so sexy,” Sam ventured. “Especially red.”
Alex blushed and laughed, tucking her feet up under herself in the chair. “But yours aren’t polished.”
“Well, no…it’s kind of a femme thing, don’t you think?” Sam was playing with the butch role, not totally sure if it fit for her. Valerie always seemed so confident and cool, and Sam had begun to associate this confidence with being less “girly.” May as well try it out on this pretty girl I’ll likely never see again anyway.
Alex untucked her feet and slid to the floor in front of Sam’s chair. She looked up at Sam with a grin. “So I’m the femme, huh? I wondered how that worked.”
Sam laughed softly and touched Alex’s face, then leaned over to kiss her lightly on the lips. “Well, it works for me.” They kissed again.
By the time they got back from dinner, Sam was feeling quite relaxed and more than a little turned on. It seemed like a given any further conversation would take place in the motel bed. Alex was something of a tease, though, and made Sam take time to seduce her. At least an hour went by before Sam had the other woman’s shirt off; to Sam’s surprise, Alex wasn’t wearing a bra. Funny, she didn’t seem like the type. Alex took Sam’s hand and placed it on her naked breast. More kissing, touching…more clothes coming off. Suddenly, the phone rang.
“I’d better get it,” Alex whispered. “In case it’s the kids or something.”
Sam wondered where the kids thought their mom was but handed the phone to Alex wordlessly.
“Hey,” Alex breathed into the phone. Then a silence, followed by a giggle. “Yeah, she’s here. We’re just…getting to know each other.” More giggles. Obviously, Alex wasn’t talking to one of her kids. Sam surmised it had to be Jake on the phone, checking up on his wife. Not good.
Sam rolled over and slipped her tank top back on. Alex talking to her husband was
not exactly a turn on. Alex covered the phone and turned to Sam. “He wants to come over and meet you. Is that okay?”
Sam hesitated. She didn’t want to be suspicious, or downright rude—but she really didn’t feel okay about it. Sam shrugged and said, “Sure, I guess.” And then, “Now?”
“Yeah, now.”
Sam fixed herself a drink and sat in one of the armchairs. Alex found her discarded T-shirt and answered Jake’s knock on the door only a few minutes later. They must live right down the street from here.
Alex’s husband looked like a million other working class, macho guys—nothing special, but reasonably handsome. Tall, short hair, small moustache. A guy. Not what Sam wanted from this weekend at all. She could feel the experience she might have had slipping through her fingers by the moment.
Jake sat awkwardly in the other armchair. Sam offered him a drink, trying valiantly to relax and be friendly in spite of her reservations. Sam made herself another drink along with Jake’s. As the evening wore on, she started to think Jake was not such a bad guy. He was witty, and obviously crazy about Alex. Sam found herself laughing at his jokes, as she joined Alex on the bed.
Before she knew what was happening, Sam discovered she was kissing Alex on the bed, and Alex had taken her T-shirt off again. Sam knew she was a little bit drunk. Would she be doing this, making out with this half naked woman while this man watched, if she weren’t? And shouldn’t the answer to this question be telling her something? No…and yes! Sam got up and headed for the room’s tiny lavatory, hiding out from Jake’s eyes and Alex’s questions. She just couldn’t do it—whatever it was they expected.
When Sam came out of her hiding place, Jake was gone. Alex was dressed and sitting in one of the chairs. She jumped up when she saw Sam.
“Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to freak you out. I thought you knew.”
“Knew what? That you were looking for a threesome? That your husband is some kind of weirdo voyeur? What?”
Alex could tell Sam was upset. Alex herself was close to tears. “Is there any way to repair the damage? I do like you, Sam.”
In All the Wrong Places Page 5