“You’re back,” she said.
“Yep, did you miss me?” Valerie asked loudly.
For answer, Sam got up and sat next to Valerie on the floor. It didn’t occur to her until much later she always seemed to be at this woman’s feet.
The party of three went on until the early hours of the morning. Sam was so drunk she barely realized Donna was in the bed, too. Until she woke a few hours later and saw Donna’s bare arm draped across Valerie’s chest.
As Sam sat there wondering what to do, Valerie woke up—and so did Donna.
“What’s a matter, baby?” Valerie said.
Sam found her voice. “Are you talking to me? Or—her?” She pointed at Donna accusingly.
“Hey, calm down, baby girl! Donna…stays here sometimes. When we’ve been up late partying. It’s nothin’ for you to freak out about.”
Donna was in the process of creeping quietly out of the bed. She grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom.
Sam was furious and her feelings were hurt. How could Valerie take their relationship so lightly?
“Well, I hate to tell you, but I am ‘freaked out.’ How did she get in the bed without me knowing? And…all three of us are naked. I don’t think I even want to know what really happened!” Now both women were out of bed and on their feet. Donna appeared fully dressed and headed for the door.
“Wait, girl! You don’t have to go just because this one is upset. You’re my friend!”
“Yes, she does have to go…unless you want me to go instead…”
Valerie froze at this statement. Donna slipped out and was gone.
“No, baby, don’t go. I need you. I swear. She’ll never be in this bed ever again!”
This statement only served to make Sam wonder how many times Donna had actually been in the bed. Much to her own disgust, she began to cry.
Valerie looked surprised by the tears, putting her arms around Sam gently and kissing her on the forehead.
“I’m sorry, Samantha. Shit! I didn’t how much you cared. Please don’t cry. Fuck it!”
Sam relaxed in her lover’s arms. “I just…want you to myself, I guess,” she whispered. “Is that so wrong?”
No, no, baby. It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. You’re the one for me, I promise. Now come on and get back into bed. Please?”
Sam did. As she fell asleep, she had a weird moment of feeling sorry for Donna. Sam hoped her feelings weren’t hurt, too.
Chapter 24: Trouble in Paradise
On a Wednesday afternoon, Sam opened the door to the house and kicked off her shoes. It had been a long day at work, including a difficult client and an annoying phone call from the kids’ dad Nic. Apparently, he didn’t like the fact that Emily had an extra soccer practice on one of “his” days. For Sam, this worry was a tiny blip on the radar compared to her own ongoing problems.
As she went into the kitchen to get a beer, Sam realized the house was unusually quiet. Emily and Dax were at Nic’s, Chelsea had an after-school dance class, and Barry must have gone to Ryan’s swim meet. She had the house, and the phone, to herself.
She curled up at one end of the couch, with the phone and her beer, to call Valerie.
“Speak to me!” said the voice that answered on the first ring.
“Valerie?” said Sam. “What’s going on?”
“Hey, baby!”
“Hey. What’s going on?” she asked again. There was music and laughter in the background.
“It’s a hump day party!” answered Valerie. “A bunch of people over here—wish you were too, baby girl…”
Sam hesitated. Valerie sounded drunk and a bit manic. And Sam knew “a bunch of people” couldn’t fit into Valerie’s tiny studio apartment. She wondered who was really there.
“Me, too. Wish I was there, I mean. Who is there?”
There was a hollow thump, as if Valerie had dropped the phone. Then Sam heard another voice say, “Val, come get this drink. Or I’m gonna drink it myself!” The voice sounded familiar.
Then Valerie came back on, laughing, “Baby, I gotta go. This girl here is stealing my booze.” More drunken laughter. “Donna says hi!”
Sam felt her anxiety ratchet up another notch. “Donna’s there?”
“Yeah, she’s here. Stayin’ here for a couple of weeks. Crazy-ass bitch got kicked out of her apartment.”
Sam couldn’t find words to reply, but this didn’t seem to bother Valerie one bit.
“Hey, Sam—gotta go back to the party. After all, I’m the host!”
“Sure. Go ahead. Talk to you later.” As Sam ended the call, she realized with a sinking feeling it would be another ten days before she saw Valerie. And now Donna was living there. Sam wished she had someone to talk to about this new development. Barry was out of the question; no way would she give him more ammunition against Valerie.
As Sam sat on the couch finishing her beer, a horn honked from the driveway. Before she could get to the door to check, Sam heard Michelle’s voice calling “Where’s that gorgeous Samantha?” from the driveway.
Sam breathed a sigh of relief it wasn’t a salesperson—a stranger—but a welcome friend. Michelle was probably the one person who would listen to Sam’s story without judgment.
The two hugged at the door, then Michelle came in with a grin on her round face. Her long dark hair hung loose down her back. As always, Sam was glad to see Michelle.
“Hey, girl. How’s it going?”
Sam answered with a shrug of her shoulders, “Oh, ya know. Seeing Valerie, fighting with Barry, trying to maintain sanity…”
Michelle laughed. “It’s okay, Sam. Need to talk?”
Sam gave a laugh of relief and relaxation. “You have no idea!” She led Michelle into the kitchen and got them both a beer. Michelle had been spending the night at the house once a week for a month or so, seeing a few customers in the area. Luckily, Barry liked Michelle—and Sam looked forward to the comforting female company.
They took their beers out to the back porch, always the place of deep conversation.
Michelle looked at Sam and said, “So, Ms. Samantha, how are things with Valerie? Any improvement as far as Barry’s viewpoint?”
Sam shook her head in discouragement. “Afraid not. Barry still freaks out over everything. And there’s this woman, a friend of Valerie’s, staying at her apartment.”
“What?! In a studio apartment? Where does she sleep?”
Sam was silent, again shrugging her shoulders in response.
“So, is this other woman a lover? Kind of sounds like it…”
Sam answered quietly, “That’s what I’m afraid of. What do you think?”
Michelle moved over to sit close to Sam. “Sweetie, I don’t know. But you should really have a serious talk with Valerie.”
“Yeah, I know. I just hate to rock the boat.”
“Well,” offered Michelle, “If the boat is that precarious, maybe you should know about it.”
“I hear you,” said Sam, “But I’m scared. I’m not ready to give her up…”
* * * *
Ten days later, Sam pulled up in front of Valerie’s apartment complex to spend the weekend. As usual, she forgot all about Barry’s silent disapproval as soon as she arrived at the beach. Her physical attraction to Valerie was stronger than ever; she couldn’t wait just to touch her.
Inside the apartment, Sam was relieved no one else was there. Valerie looked dressed and ready to go out. After two weeks at home, Sam was totally on board with going to the local gay bar to forget her woes.
“Hey, baby! Put your stuff away and then let’s do some major partying.”
Sam didn’t argue. She stashed her suitcase quickly and then headed to the bathroom to check her make-up and hair. She absolutely loved going out with Valerie and being her girlfriend in public.
The rest of the evening passed quickly, filled with music, alcohol, and drunken conversation. Sam was pleased to find Donna was nowhere in sight.
It was
after midnight when the two women returned to Valerie’s apartment. Still no Donna. But almost as soon as they got inside and kicked off their shoes, Valerie’s phone rang. Sam waited while she listened to the one-sided conversation.
When Valerie put the phone down, she said to Sam, “Come on, baby, we got a rescue mission here.”
Sam signaled a question with her expression.
Valerie added, “Taffy. She’s passed out cold. Herman is scared she’s overdosed. I gotta go over there…”
Sam was exhausted but didn’t want Valerie to go without her. “Okay, let’s go.”
* * * *
Taffy’s apartment was a one bedroom on the second floor. The door was ajar, and Herman stood in the doorway, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. Looking past him, Sam saw Taffy prostrate on the bed, lying totally still. The situation didn’t look good. Sam’s immediate instinct was to call 911.
But when she voiced this idea, Valerie vetoed it in no uncertain terms.
“Are you fuckin’ nuts? We don’t need any cops buzzing around asking questions. She’s better off here with her friends.”
Sam determined to keep her mouth shut and follow directions. Valerie seemed to know what to do. She went directly over to Taffy’s comatose body and shook her roughly.
“Hey, kiddo. What are ya doin’ scaring ever’body like this? Come on now—open your damn eyes!”
Taffy didn’t open her eyes but did moan a bit. At least she was alive.
Valerie turned to Herman, who now stood in the kitchen doorway, watching in confusion. “Hey, old man. Do ya know what she took? Or smoked or whatever?”
Herman shook his head. “No, I swear. I just came over to borrow some rice. The door was open—Taf was on the bed just like you see her. I got you right away.”
“Okay, Herman, don’t worry. I got this. She’ll pull through it.”
Valerie then sat Taffy up, motioning for Sam to help her. Together, they propped Taffy’s tousled red head against the backboard with pillows. Then Valerie made her drink some sips of water. At first, Taffy sputtered and coughed, but soon was drinking a bit. Then she opened her eyes and glared at the room in general.
“Hey! There she is! What’s up, Taffy?”
Taffy focused on Valerie’s face and attempted a smile.
Sam came closer and asked, “What do we do now? She doesn’t look too good, Val…”
Valerie laughed and said, “I’m sure she feels like shit, baby, but she’ll live. Could you get some more water for her? The more she can drink, the faster she’ll get whatever it is out of her system.”
Herman was ahead of the game and handed Valerie a large glass of water.
“Thanks, man.” Valerie said. She gave Taffy some more water, most of which dripped down her already stained T-shirt. Putting the glass on the nightstand, Valerie turned to Herman.
“Can you stay a while, buddy? Me and Sam are gonna go cook some dinner. We’ll come back in a little bit and give Taffy some food.”
Herman looked happy to be helpful. “Sure, Val—no sweat. I’ll make sure she stays awake. You’re sure she’s gonna be okay?”
Valerie nodded and patted the old man on the shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve seen worse. Taffy’s a tough old bird.”
She grabbed Sam’s hand and led her out. Sam was relieved to be out of the stuffy, cluttered apartment and away from what she considered a dangerous situation. But Valerie seemed to take the whole thing as a matter of course, as if she had seen it a thousand times. She probably has…Sam thought.
Chapter 25: Anger and Doubt
Sam opened the door to an empty house when she returned from her weekend rendezvous late Sunday afternoon. She wondered where everyone was, but felt grateful for the quiet after a hectic weekend. Taffy seemed to thrive on the attention that came with her little “mishap” and proceeded to milk the thing for all it was worth. Sam was still irritated at the lack of private time with Valerie.
As always, she prayed Barry was in a good mood when he got home. She knew the three younger kids were at church youth group, and Ryan was probably with his girlfriend. If Barry would just behave himself, they could relax on the back porch in peace.
Before Sam could even take her bag upstairs and fix a drink, the front door banged open and three teenaged voices echoed through the living room. Sam looked out the window and saw Barry’s car in the drive—he must have picked up the kids at church.
“Mom,” Dax called. “You’re back!” Her son ran to wrap his arms around his mom in a hug. Sam thought how tall Dax was getting and realized with a pang of guilt Barry was spending more time with him than she was.
“That’s my guy,” said Sam, kissing the top of her son’s head. The thought came into her head that Dax and Emily would probably be totally freaked out by Valerie and her friends. They loved Barry and the life they had with Sam and Barry together.
* * * *
The next night, all the kids except for Emily, the night owl, were in bed when Michelle knocked on the door. Sam was happy their friend was there—Michelle was about the only person left Sam and Barry both found comfortable. Sam knew Barry held out a faint hope she and Michelle might eventually get together romantically.
“Michelle, come on in,” said Barry. “Can we get you anything? A drink? Granola bar? Leftover pizza?”
Michelle laughed and answered, “No thanks, super host. I ate already. I might have a glass of wine but let me get settled first.”
“No worries,” said Barry. “Put your stuff in Sam’s room. I’m sleeping in Ryan’s room while he spends some time at his mom’s.”
Michelle looked at Sam with a question in her eyes.
Sam answered somewhat guiltily, “Yeah, you can sleep in my room, Michelle. Barry is…not usually there these days.”
Later, in the privacy of Sam’s bedroom, Michelle asked for more of an explanation.
Sam took her time answering. “I guess I just want to be faithful to Valerie—is that weird?”
Michelle snuggled up closer to Sam in the bed. “No, not really. Except Barry loves you, too.”
Sam sighed in frustration. “I know. And I do love him. But I don’t want anyone in my bed but Valerie.”
Michelle was silent in the darkness of the room. Sam knew her friend was thinking of the idea behind polyamory and how her relationship with Valerie fell short.
“I just…want you to be happy, Sam. I worry about you.”
Sam reached out a hand and caressed Michelle’s face. At times like these, she wondered whether there might be a better option than Valerie.
“Thank you for your concern, my friend. I worry, too. But I’m just not ready to give up yet.”
Michelle said nothing, sighing quietly in the darkness.
* * * *
Sam thought about what Michelle said as she drove to Valerie’s. Should she be worried? She was. Should she break up with Valerie? The idea gave her a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Without a girlfriend, she would be just another middle-aged married woman in Hicksville, America, taking her kids to soccer practice. This image of herself was hard to accept.
By the time she pulled up at Valerie’s apartment complex, Sam was in a state of major confusion. She needed confirmation of the strength of her relationship.
Donna met her at the door.
“Sam! How ya doin’?”
Sam was taken by surprise.
“Cool. I mean…okay.”
Donna grinned and took Sam’s bag. Sam was torn between annoyance at Donna’s presence and appreciation of the woman’s friendly welcome. Inside the apartment, Valerie was nowhere in sight.
Donna must have felt Sam’s question in the air. “She’s at work. I’m supposed to take care of you until she gets here.”
Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Take care of me? What exactly does that mean?”
Donna laughed, too. “Well, I’m pretty sure it means you get a drink. So let’s start with that. Safe enough, right?”
Sam took t
he beer offered and laughed with Donna. She found herself relaxing and kind of liking the woman. They went outside and sat in the two beat-up lawn chairs looking out over the parking lot.
After an hour or so and another beer each, the two women were chatting and laughing like old friends. This is where Valerie found them as she slammed the door of her car shut and strode up the walkway.
“Well, well. What do we have here? A party of two? Any room for me?”
Sam felt the ice in Valerie’s voice. She glanced over at Donna, who obviously felt it, too. She offered, “Sure, Girl. Get a beer and join us. Sam was just telling me about…her drive up here.”
“She was? Anything special happen, baby?”
Sam answered quietly, “No, not really. Just tired from work I guess. And had to drop the kids at Nic’s first.”
Although this seemed like a neutral statement to Sam, Valerie took it as a signal to trash Barry.
“What? Your perfect little hubby couldn’t help you out for once? Maybe he’s got something going on the side, too. After all, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!” She laughed at her own joke, a harsh sound that spelled trouble.
Sam chose not to respond. Unfortunately, Donna was not so cautious.
“Hey, Val—leave her alone. She’s here with you now, isn’t she? Just relax.”
Valerie started pacing. “Look, bitch—don’t tell me to relax. You look pretty relaxed yourself sitting here with my girlfriend.”
Donna stood up as if to defend herself. This ignited Valerie even further. She stood in front of Donna, feet planted wide, and pounded one fist into the other palm.
“What? You got somethin’ to say?” She pounded her fist again.
Sam realized things were going in a decidedly bad direction. She attempted to comfort and reassure the angry Valerie.
“Sweetie, come on. We were just waiting for you. Now we can start the party.”
Valerie looked at Sam, her face a confusion of emotions. Abruptly, she plopped down in the chair vacated by Donna.
“Okay, I guess.” She leaned over to kiss Sam. “Glad you’re here, baby. Hey, Donna, how about that beer?” No one would ever suspect that, just moments before, she had looked ready to slug Donna.
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