I take a small step forward and grasp his face in my hands, my thumbs brushing patterns over his cheeks. I lean in to kiss him chastely as an apology, hoping he gets what I’m trying to convey. When I pull back, I notice his eyes have softened, instantly getting the message.
“I’m sorry I snapped.”
He lets out the breath he’d been holding, releasing some of the tension from his body.
“You aren’t going back there to take care of this by yourself. I’m going with you. Accept that and get over it,” he says, making me smile.
“I won’t be dealing with this alone. I’ll have Hadley. Who knows, we may end up in there right next to my mom. Wouldn’t that make for interesting table talk with your family?” I joke.
“You can be my bad girl anytime, but let’s keep you out of jail, please. I’m not sure that would go over too well,” he says, thawing a little bit.
“Deal,” I say. “Now get out of here and go home. I need to talk to my boss and figure out a plan. I’ll call you later.”
“Fine,” he appeases, slipping my phone back into my apron. “But I’m not done having this conversation. If you think I’ve given up on going back home with you, you’re sorely mistaken. I told you once before, I’m persistent.” He turns and strolls out the restaurant. I take a moment to gather my thoughts, checking my feelings and family drama at the door.
Time to get back to work.
SIXTEEN
a m e l i a
Sherry was gracious enough to give me the next three days off so I could go back home for a “family emergency.” That should be more than enough time to figure all this out and get me back to Austin. I’m grateful to have a job because the cost of my flight was outrageous due to last minute booking. Chase had to wait on standby for another flight out, but he eventually got one. He was insistent on coming along for support, and once again, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Shocking, I know.
Hadley is supposed to meet us here at the Salina airport as soon as Chase lands, which according to the arrivals screen, should be any minute. I’ve already been here for a few hours. I’ve been wandering around aimlessly, listening to music on my headphones, and reading a book to help pass the time. I think it’s safe to say that I’m starting to go stir crazy.
While I was waiting for my connecting flight to board in Dallas, I did some digging and found out my mom was charged with a DUI and disorderly conduct. According to Hadley, she was arrested before the house was broken into, so she’s fine. Her bail is set at one thousand dollars, but I’m not going to pay that to get her out. You can go ahead and attribute that to my delayed rage.
Unfortunately, she’ll probably be released soon since it’s only her first offense. If it were up to me, she’d rot in there. That’s quite a change in mentality from a couple months ago. Back then, I would’ve paid the bail, and taken care of her, no questions asked. Now, I’m only here to assess the house damage, and check to see what all was stolen. If I’m lucky, we won’t even have to cross paths. But then again, I’m not exactly known for having luck on my side.
I’m sitting down listening to music, when all of a sudden, a pair of rough hands brush up against my temples and remove my earbuds. I tilt my head back to catch an upside-down glimpse of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Sinful standing behind me. He smiles crookedly, and leans down from above to kiss me like the dark angel he is. His halo of brown hair falls around his eyes when our lips touch. My breath catches. Will it always feel like this? His kisses are like a powerful sedative coursing through my veins. I instantly feel mollified. No wonder I’m addicted.
He pulls back to drop a tender kiss on my forehead. “Come on; let’s get the fuck out of here. I hate airports,” he growls.
I text Hadley to let her know that we’re both here. Standing up, I grab Raven’s Italian leather satchel that she let me use as a carry-on, and sling it over my shoulder. Since I’m only going to be here for a couple days, there was no reason to bring a large suitcase. Plus, the majority of my stuff is still in my bedroom at my mom’s house. At least, that’s what I’m assuming, but I guess we’ll see. I don’t really care anymore. Whoever it was that broke in can take the whole damn house; in the long run, they’d probably be doing me a favor.
We turn onto my street and pull into the driveway of my old home. My mom’s car is nowhere to be found, but that doesn’t surprise me. There’s a light dusting of snow on the ground that matches the color of the house. All of the tree branches are cloaked in frost and decorated with icicles. It’s beautiful outside at first glance, but it’s a deceptive beauty. In reality, everything’s completely cold, dead, and lifeless, just like this house sitting in front of us. How comforting.
“Ready?” Hadley asks, breaking into my super uplifting thoughts.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond, unbuckling my seatbelt.
“Let’s get this over with.” She turns off the car and unbuckles her seatbelt. Chase opens the rear door and climbs out of the back.
The twenty-minute drive from the airport was nice; I was able to catch up with Hadley. Chase didn’t contribute much because he was too busy looking out the window. It occurred to me that he probably doesn’t get to see snow very often. I’m sure for him it’s a treat, but for me it’s a nuisance. When you’re a kid, snow is awesome because you get to go sledding in it. When you grow up, it sucks because you have to drive in it.
Hadley and I just finished discussing how her classes have been going at Bethany, and now she’s filling me in on all of the town gossip that I’ve missed.
“Oh, my God, did you hear about that crazy bitch who got arrested last night for a DUI?” she asks, as we’re walking up the driveway.
“You know, I think I heard that somewhere, actually. Supposedly, she caught a disorderly conduct charge, too,” I play along.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t surprise me. Her presence has always been extremely annoying and disruptive, even when she’s sleeping. I heard her house got broken into. Talk about karma.”
“I know, right? I don’t know how that daughter of hers puts up with everything.”
“Didn’t you hear? Her daughter just up and left. It’s long overdue if you ask me, but things are going pretty well for her these days. I always knew she’d land on her feet. She has a new job. Oh, and she met a smoking hot guy. Apparently, he’s quite the lover between the sheets.”
“Hadley!” I screech and nudge her with my elbow. It knocks her back a couple paces.
Chase starts laughing behind us. My hands fly up to cover my flushed cheeks. I’m so thankful it’s cold outside so I can attribute the color of my face to the weather. Hadley quickly regains her footing, her long blonde hair bouncing along with each stride. She casually throws an arm around my neck. We make our way up the stairs to the front door. So far, I don’t see any evidence that the house was broken into.
I jiggle the doorknob. It’s locked. I gave my key to Hadley, just in case there was an emergency and she needed to get into the house. Reading my mind, she reaches into her pocket to pull out her keys. She unlocks the door and pushes it open. I grasp the doorframe and take the first step inside. The wood creaks loudly beneath my feet as a gust of cold air hits me. The temperature inside easily rivals what it feels like outside. I wrap my arms around myself for a sense of warmth and comfort.
It feels like it’s been years, rather than months, since I’ve set foot in here. I’m so far removed from this place now—like I don’t belong here anymore. Nothing’s changed. It’s all exactly as it was. Then it occurs to me why I feel so out of place. It’s because one thing has changed: me.
The walls are the same horrendous canary color they’ve always been, but age and smoke residue have dulled the paint over the years. Bottles are scattered on the coffee table and across the floor in disarray. The floorboards are filthy, and there’s a stench of stale cigarettes mixed with something else unpleasant that I can’t quite pinpoint—spoiled milk, maybe?
I f
lip the light switch to turn on the ceiling fan and air out the room. Nothing happens. Impatiently, I walk until I’m underneath the fan blades and reach up on my tiptoes to yank the chain down. Nada. I try the chain for the light. No dice. I look back at Hadley who looks just as confused as I do.
My God….
The electricity’s been shut off.
“Damn it, Mom,” I curse under my breath.
Not fully believing it, I stride into the kitchen and turn on the faucet, but nothing comes out. When did this happen? I open the fridge and I’m met with a potent sour smell that about knocks me on my ass.
Looks like I’ve found the mystery stench.
I hold my breath and briskly shut the door. Nothing’s frozen in the freezer. To top it off, my mom’s vodka stash is missing. In the seven years that I’ve been dealing with drunk Mom, she’s never let her stash deplete—ever. I’m guessing whoever broke in found it and decided to help themselves.
I slam the freezer door out of frustration, making the contents inside shift and rattle. I sulk back into the living room. Chase is standing against the wall with his hands tucked into his coat pockets. He’s wearing an uncomfortable expression on his face, and he hasn’t spoken a word since we entered the house. It’s extremely awkward. I feel humiliated and ashamed that he has to see this. Why couldn’t he just stay behind like I’d asked? Does everybody have to be a hero these days?
This is exactly the type of thing I wanted to avoid. No matter how hard he tries, I know he won’t be able to unsee all of this. I’m afraid he’ll treat me differently from here on out. I can’t let that happen. My relationship with Chase is the single, most important thing in my world right now, and I don’t want that to change. With all of the other uncertainties going on, I need us to remain strong and stable.
“I need to look around and see what’s missing,” I finally say, breaking the awkward tension in the room. The sooner I finish this, the sooner I can leave. It’s a good thing I already made arrangements for Chase and me to stay at Hadley’s tonight. Otherwise, we’d be freezing our asses off.
“First, can you show me where they broke in?” I ask Hadley.
She nods and turns to walk past the staircase and down the hallway. I quickly conclude that it has to be the side window in the laundry room. That’s the only logical explanation because all of the other windows on the first floor are intact.
Sure enough, the window has been smashed and there’s shattered glass all over the floor. I shiver, not because it’s cold, but because seeing the window taken out makes this real. Images flash through my head of some creepy man walking through here in the middle of the night with no one to catch him. I’m glad my mom wasn’t here when this happened because being all alone in this house would have been traumatizing.
“I would’ve cleaned up the glass, but I didn’t want to touch anything just in case there were fingerprints or something,” Hadley explains.
“Prints are shoddy, at best. Temperatures and weather conditions can affect the preservation of fingerprints on surfaces, especially glass. I’m not a cop or anything, but I’m guessing if no one saw this guy break in, then you guys are probably shit out of luck,” Chase says. His back is up against the doorway with his foot propped up against the frame. He crosses his arms over his chest.
“How do you know about the fingerprints thing? Are you a CSI junkie? It’s okay if you are. Admitting that you have a problem is the very first step toward recovery.”
He laughs. “No, I’m a carpenter who works with wood and glass all day, babe.”
“You’re a carpenter?” Hadley asks in disbelief. She whips her head around. Her brown eyes eagerly find mine. “He’s a carpenter?” she whispers. “You told me he was a bartender.”
“I’m that, too, but carpentry is my day job,” he explains, pushing himself off the doorframe with his foot.
“So hot,” she mouths and fans herself for effect.
I swat at her arm. “When are you going to move to Austin? I miss you like crazy.”
“After I’m done with college, I’m all yours,” she promises with a smile.
“Good, because I really need my other half back.
“Oh, my God. Don’t even get me started. It’s so fucking boring without you here.”
I laugh. “Come on, let’s check the house and find out what’s missing.”
After a quick but seemingly thorough inspection, we find that the only things missing are the alcohol from the freezer, some of my mom’s good jewelry, and one of the TVs. Everything else seems to be here. I also discovered the back door was unlocked, so whoever was here probably used it on their way out. That was an oversight on my part.
I snag a medium sized cardboard box from my bedroom and head downstairs to tape it over the windowsill in the laundry room. It’ll have to do until I can get someone over here to fix it, hopefully tomorrow. Chase is sweeping up all of the broken glass, while Hadley writes down what’s missing. We’re all quick and efficient, resulting in us being able to get out of here in no time. Thank God for that. We lock up the house behind us, and then we’re off to Hadley’s place to finally have some fun.
SEVENTEEN
c h a s e
I once read somewhere that the amount of clutter in your house is a direct reflection of how tidy your life and emotions are. Personally, I think that’s bullshit. If you ask me, it’s all about personality traits. Messy people are messy, and organized people are organized; simple as that. It has nothing to do with the state of your life. But let’s consider the possibilities for a minute. If there’s even an ounce of truth to that theory, it would certainly explain why Nancy’s house is as much of a train wreck as she is.
I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked in, but what I got was something else entirely. Everything was so dirty and cluttered. There were dishes in the kitchen sink that probably haven’t been washed in a month. Stains and cigarette burns covered the upstairs carpet. There were piles of stuff everywhere. I felt claustrophobic. Have you ever seen an episode of Hoarders? That’s what Nancy’s house reminded me of. It looked like something you’d see straight out of that show. I’m supremely confident that jail is a step up for her. At least it’s warm in there.
If there’s one thing I can take away from this whole experience, it’s that I’ve never appreciated my parents more than I do right now. I almost want to call my mom just to say thank you for putting up with all of my shit, and acknowledge all that she and my dad have done. My life wasn’t perfect, but at least I grew up in a safe environment where I knew I was loved. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Mia.
I tried to keep my reaction to a minimum when we did the walkthrough. I could tell Mia was bothered that I saw everything. I’m sure she felt exposed and put on display for all to see, but she’ll just have to get over it. I’m not going anywhere. I meant what I said about coming here to support her. I love this girl, and that means I’m here through hell and high water.
When we get to Hadley’s place, we order pizza, stay in, and chill. It’s too damn cold outside to do anything else. We’re all lounging on the couch watching Shaun of the Dead. Turns out, Hadley is a zombie fanatic. It’s quite entertaining to watch her and Mia go back and forth on what a “real-life” zombie would actually be capable of. I have to give them both props. They know their stuff. These two are fully prepared for an apocalypse should one arise.
Once the movie is over, it suddenly hits us how tired we all are. I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack Truck. All I can think about is my face hitting the cool side of a pillow, and Mia’s gorgeous body wrapping around me like a vine. The latter sounds pretty damn good.
“I hope you guys are okay with the futon, because it’s either that or the floor,” Hadley says.
“The futon is perfect,” Mia assures. “Thanks again for picking us up and letting us crash here.”
“Yes, thank you, Hadley,” I second.
“Anytime. Mia knows that. It sucks that it had
to be under these circumstances, but I’m excited regardless.” She leaves the room and heads down the hallway.
Hadley is one awesome chick. She’s pretty much the blonde version of Mia, so it’s no surprise why they get along so well. They share a lot of the same mannerisms, they have similar personalities, and they wear the same styles. Today she’s sporting a pair of blue Chucks, skinny jeans, a red tank, and a long-sleeved flannel shirt. She gives off the same hipster vibe that Mia does, although I think Hadley is a little more tomboyish.
She’s currently residing in a small, one-bedroom apartment. From the looks of things, it appears she’s heavy into art. Her walls are decorated with framed vintage posters and her entertainment center has hand painted designs that run down the sides. The furniture is a bold red, and there are lots of unique, colorful trinkets lying around. The ceiling has occasional water damage spots and the walls have some slight cracks here and there, but it only adds to the energy of her place. Surprisingly, it doesn’t look dirty or run down. Contrarily, it’s very worn in and eccentric. It all looks effortlessly thrown together, but I can tell she put a lot of thought into the placement of her furniture and decorations.
She reemerges with a thick, heavy blanket in her arms and some spare pillows. She tosses everything down on the futon. “Alright you two, I’m off to bed. You guys help yourselves to whatever. Mia knows her way around, so if you need something, ask her.” She looks over at Mia adoringly and says, “Night, slut,” then starts to walk off. She takes a few steps, stops abruptly, and looks back over her shoulder. “By the way, don’t even think about tainting my futon. I’ll know if you do. I’m everywhere,” she warns.
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