by Kitty Cox
After the cops came the media. Claudia had been right there, ready to give all the details they could want. What surprised Dez was that both Amy and Sam had their own opinions to add. Sure, it was just the local channel, but they'd already seen how quickly that could be picked up by the national news. Right now Deviant Games needed as many people on their side as they could get. By the time the sun set, the story was blazing across Twitter. Dez hadn't looked, but she had a funny feeling that the company account had posted a link with all the sordid details. Chance was glued to his phone, but at least this time he was chuckling.
"Looks like your fan club is losing ground," he said, showing her a tweet of some meme.
"Until tomorrow." Dez flopped onto the sofa. "Sales are down, Chance."
"Of course they are. Hottest buy times are right after the announcement and the week before the game goes live. We're doing fine, Dez. All this crap is just free advertising for Silk. Stop worrying."
Her eyes were locked on the ceiling. "They said 'Frag the cunt.' I'm pretty sure they meant me."
"I know." The mirth had vanished.
"Fragged, Chance." Slowly, she forced herself to look at him. "Not fire, not fuck, but frag. That means kill."
"Yeah, I play shooters too, kid. I know. I'm still not going to let anything happen to you."
"But you can't stop them."
That uncomfortable feeling was back. It made her legs want to move. Her lungs felt like they'd shrunk in half. Every sound was just a little louder. She knew it was panic, but she still didn't know how to stop it. All Dez could do was push herself off the couch and storm down the hall. His bedroom was always safe. Nothing bad ever happened there. It was her haven, the one place she could stop running away and just let herself pretend she was normal.
"Dez," Chance hissed, rushing down the hall behind her. "We're ok. Everyone's ok, and it was just paintballs."
"I'm not ok," she snapped, spinning to face him. "When aren't you going to get that, Chance? I'm not ok. I'm never going to be ok. They already broke me!"
He took a step closer. "And I still love you. I don't care how many pieces you're in, I'm always going to love you, Dez."
"But I'm not ok!" Her voice was almost a whimper.
He shrugged, his eyes never leaving hers. "None of us are. We're all flawed, but you're brave enough to show it."
"And they'll kill me for it. They said if I touched another game they'd – "
Her throat closed, the air completely gone. The room was too small. It was warm – or maybe cold, she couldn't tell anymore. Her heart was pounding so loud she could feel it in her ears. They said if she didn't stay away from games they'd kill her and she hadn't believed them. She had to go. She had to get out of here! Desperate for air, she had to get outside. That was the only way she could breathe again!
She tried to push past him. As she rushed for the door, he grabbed her arm, wrenching her around to look at him. For the first time, Chance's face wasn't understanding. He was pissed. Those silver eyes were stormy.
"I won't ever let them hurt you."
Time stopped. In her panic, the world turned crystal clear. The feeling of his fingers on her bicep was stiff, but not hard enough to bruise. A muscle along his jaw twitched. She could feel the strain in her neck as she looked up into his face. Every single detail was there, except one. He was angry – and she still wasn't scared of him. Dez could feel his skin against hers, but it didn't hurt. It never hurt. This man was the one person in the world who would keep her safe. That knowledge made it possible to finally take a breath.
"Chance," she whispered.
"Never," he insisted. "Do you hear me, Dez? If they want to hurt you, they have to come through me. If they think they can scare us out of games, they're wrong! This, right here, is our life. It's the shit we got dealt, and we're going to live it our way. I'm not letting you run out on me because of some goddamned paintballs!"
"But you can't stop them."
He pulled her closer. "You can."
"How?" She moved her other foot toward him.
"Stop running away. Stop waiting for some hero to come save you. Stop hiding, Sugar, and fight back. Stop letting those bastards win."
Her mouth was dry. Her heart was pounding. The light from the hall made it easy to see, but the room was dim. Shadows played across his face, but she could see his eyes. The reflection in them was like a mirror, but what she saw wasn't what she expected. That girl looked tough. That girl looked like exactly who she wanted to be. She wasn't afraid of the man's hand on her arm. Slowly, Dez nodded.
"I'm tired of being scared."
He blinked, blocking her view of the woman she wished to be. "Then change something."
Dez lifted her chin. One thing leapt into her mind. It's what had defined her for too long. If she wanted to fight back, she knew exactly where to start. She needed him to touch her, but the words were the hardest she'd ever said. "Kiss me."
Chance's mouth split into a smile and he stepped back, releasing her. "No."
"What?!" He chuckled and she wanted to hit him.
"No," he said again. "If you want something, then you have to take it. That's how the world works, Sugar." Then the bastard pulled his shirt over his head.
Ivory skin was punctuated by deep shadows along every muscle. Tossing his t-shirt to the side made his arms flex and his shoulders ripple. The fire god tilted his head, smiled, then crooked a single finger, beckoning her closer.
"You can touch me." His smile grew even as he took another step away from her. "You've even let me touch you a few times now. What's stopping you, Destiny? You scared?"
"Oh, fuck that," she snarled, and wrenched off her own shirt, storming toward him.
At the edge of the bed, her hands found his chest and she pushed. Together, they tumbled into it. Dez was done being the victim. He was right, and it was about damned time she got something she wanted. Her hands reached for the button of his jeans.
Chapter 32
"You're going to have to help," she said, struggling to get his pants open.
Lying on his back, his head held up by the pillows, Chance was watching her every move. Straddling his legs, she was in complete control. Her slim fingers teased the soft skin along his pelvis. Her ink made her look like a feral animal. Her tiny little breasts were so hard, the little nipples begging for his mouth. He wanted her like he'd never wanted anything in his life, but this wasn't about him.
"Sugar..."
His pants released and she pulled them open. His dick sprang free, aching with how much he needed her, and she began tugging the denim over his hips.
"Dez," he tried again, lifting his ass to make her task easier.
Her head snapped up. "Shut up, Chance. I'm tired of being the victim."
Laughing would get him in shit, but he couldn't stop the smile. "If you're going to fuck me, you'd better get a condom, Sugar."
She stopped. Those little hands of hers were so damned soft on his thighs. Her eyes were huge. The perfect little bow of her mouth was parted, and he watched her tits rise and fall as she panted, but he had no idea if she was excited or afraid. His sweet little taste of sugar never played by the rules. Oh no, Dez made them.
"Top drawer of the nightstand, Dez. If you want to do this, then we're doing it right so you have no reason to regret it."
Her eyes flicked to the table beside the bed, then back. "Thought those were just for your dates?"
"You on birth control?"
Her head wavered back and forth in a silent no.
"Well, I'm sure as shit not going to stop you, but I'm not really ready for kids. Maybe tomorrow we'll get you on the pill so I won't have to use these." Chance slowly moved his hand up her thigh. "You can stop if you want, Sugar. I just don't want to screw this up." He also didn't want to be just a hate fuck for her.
Dez sucked back a deep breath. He kept his eyes on her face, but he loved how her supple little body moved. She had him pinned down as if she was in control,
and he loved it. He loved the bravado. Fuck, he loved everything about this little demon pixie. Enough that if she stopped now, he wouldn't care. That she'd tried was enough.
Her throat tensed as she swallowed. "I don't know how..."
"If you want to do this, we need a condom. Just get one from that drawer." He jerked his head at it.
When she leaned across him, his dick twitched, straining upward for her body. She didn't care, just reached a bit farther, pulling open the drawer. While she rummaged for one of the foil packets, her body teased across him, sending sparks straight into his balls. Holy fuck, he wasn't going to last if she kept this up! This girl was going to be the death of him.
Leaning back, she held it up, but nervousness lingered in her eyes. "Now what?"
God, her innocence was like a drug. He wanted to snatch the packet from her hands, roll it on, and bury himself in her until she screamed, but he knew that wasn't how this would go. If he tried that, she'd scream all right – but in fear, not pleasure. Slowly, Chance sat up until they were face to face.
He gently took the condom from her hand, thrilled that she didn't flinch. "How do you want this to go, Dez?"
"I dunno..."
He waited for her to finish, but that was all she had. When the silence stretched on, he decided to see just how ready she really was. Never taking his eyes from hers, Chance reached up to brush that one lock of hair away from her brow. His perfect little Sugar tensed – then let him.
"I want to love you," he said softly. "I want to be perfect. I want to be that fire god you think I am, but I don't want you to pretend to like it. I want you to want to be touched, Sugar. I want to take care of you, protect you, and show you that being with me isn't going to hurt. Not ever."
Her eyes closed and her head bobbed up and down. "I know."
"Tell me what you want, Dez. Anything, and I'll do it."
When her lids lifted again, moisture made her eyes glisten. "I want to know what it feels like to be loved."
He sure as shit wasn't going to let her get by with some platitude. "You already know that. I love you, Sugar. Haven't exactly made a secret of it, either."
"No, I mean..." She looked across the room, unable to meet his eyes.
"Tell me."
Softly, the words little more than a whisper, she said, "I used to daydream about meeting you. I..."
"Go on."
"I imagined you kissing me all over, touching me, telling me I was beautiful. I wanted you to want me so much you couldn't stop." She paused and he could hear her struggle to swallow. "I want you to pretend like I'm ok for a little bit, but I'm scared I'm going to freak out."
His hand cupped the back of her head and he leaned closer, pulling her into him. "Then freak out. I'm going to kiss you, Destiny Pierce, and I'm not going to stop until you either tell me to or can’t take any more. You ok with that?"
Her answer was to press her mouth against his. Warm, soft lips yielded willingly when he flicked his tongue over them and between her teeth. Her own met it – timid, but he'd take it. She tasted like candy. She smelled like electronics: sharp with a bit of singed dust. She felt like heaven. Her body relaxing against his was what he'd always wanted. His little taste of sugar wasn't looking for any man. She wanted him. Him!
She pulled back just far enough to whisper against his mouth. "We're doing this." Then she grabbed the condom packet from his hands and tore it open.
"You're doing this." He kissed her again, moving along the side of her face. "I'm just here to enjoy the show."
"Then put that on," she almost growled.
His need made him throb, but Chance wasn't a fool. "No. If you want something, you need to take it."
"I don't fucking know how!" She tried to press the slick latex into his hand.
He twisted her wrist and moved it lower. "I'll show you."
Together, he helped her roll it on. In all his life, he'd never imagined something so mundane would mean so much, but she was touching him. She was doing this. Yeah, maybe he was the one making sure it was on properly, but watching her face as she concentrated on his dick? He was so damned hard he thought he was going to burst, and she wasn't even all the way naked, yet.
"This doesn't work well if you have on pants, you know." His eyes moved across her legs.
Like some temptress, she leaned back and slowly climbed off. Chance didn't waste any time removing the last of his own clothes, but he drank in the sight of her. No matter how many times he saw her naked, it only made him want her more. In the last few months she'd filled out, looking dainty rather than destroyed, but what turned him on the most was her honesty. Not her words, but the way Dez just shoved her jeans to the ground, kicked them off, then climbed right back on. Even the comforter sighed as she shuffled back toward exactly where he wanted her.
In all his life, this wasn't what he'd imagined as the perfect lay. Nope, that was typically frantic, delirious, and over rather quickly, usually with the girl walking her ass right back out of his life as easily as she'd come into it. This was the complete opposite. The awkward moment when she paused to think about where to sit on him, the way he had to give her complete control – all of that made this real, and real was ten times sexier than any daydream. As Dez settled herself across his thighs, he realized this was exactly what he'd been missing. This was about something more than just getting off. Being with Dez was about trust, and there was no way in hell he was going to fuck this up.
He knew she'd never been on top. Not that he'd ask and break the delicate mood he had going, but those assholes couldn't have forced her – not his Dez – like this. It also gave her control. If she panicked, it meant she wouldn't feel trapped. With her above him, she'd be able to control everything, including how far she let him in.
"C'mere, Sugar," he begged, crooking his finger to make her slide just a bit farther up his body.
Her eyes were locked on his dick as she inched higher. "Is it going to hurt?"
"I'll never hurt you." His hand found her thigh, stopping her right over his pelvis. "I'll never make you do anything. If you want to stop – at any time – then stop."
Her tongue flicked over her lips as she looked up at him. Not his dick, but him. "It hurt last time."
Those words made the ache fade, and Chance sat up to meet her face. "Then don't do this, but I'm not them. I'm not going to take a damned thing from you, and right about now, I do not want to think about what anyone else has done to you." His other hand caught the side of her face, forcing her to look him right in the eyes. "You're a virgin. No one has ever made love to you, and I'm going to wait as long as you need so I can be the first. Do you understand?"
"But I love you."
"Then stop thinking about it. Stop being afraid of me, Dez. I'll never hurt you, but this time you're the one with all the power. You're the one who gets to make all of the decisions." He leaned closer. "Sugar, the first move is yours. Kiss me or let me jack off – because my balls are starting to ache with how much I want you."
She ducked her head, but a giggle slipped out. "So I just sit on it?"
"No." A finger under her chin let him see her face. "First, you kiss me. This isn't about my damned dick, Dez. I've told you that. Kiss me and stop thinking so damned much. Stop worrying about what comes next and pay attention to right now." His hand released her face and moved to her spine, barely caressing her soft skin. "Feel this? I'm touching you, Sugar." His other hand began to move higher up her leg. "I can feel your skin shiver. I can hear you breathing faster. I can see your eyes wanting to close." He leaned just a bit more until he could almost touch her neck. "I just want to hear you moan and know it's because you're with me."
The breath she released was loud, but his little demon wasn't going to give in. Chance kissed her throat, his tongue teasing the skin as he moved toward her jaw. Unconsciously, Dez tilted her head back, giving him access, and he felt all the blood rush right back where it belonged. He kissed again, this time behind her ear, and finally got
what he wanted. The sound was so gentle, so unlike anything she'd ever made before, and it had him completely enthralled.
"Kiss me," he begged. "Just kiss me, Dez."
Her breath caressed his cheek, her mouth followed a second later. Chance couldn't stop himself. His arms wrapped around her back, and he turned to claim her lips with his own. This time she wasn't timid. Dez's tongue was waiting, dancing softly in first her mouth before daring to invade his. The groan in the back of his throat was a match to hers.
When she broke free to suck in air, he claimed her neck again, kissing lower, then lower still. When his mouth reached Doom, he felt the thickened flesh of her scar but ignored it. She leaned back, pressing into his touch, and he moved just a bit lower. Those small, perfect breasts of hers were right there, the nipples standing erect, begging him, and Chance wasn't the kind of man to say no. His tongue flicked across one, and finally, her moan was real. He licked at it again until her hands tangled in his hair, demanding more. He moved to the other, giving it the same treatment.
She tasted so good. Each swipe of his tongue made him want another. Every gasp, pant, and sigh proved she wasn't scared. For this moment, Chance had all he could ask for, and he was not going to screw this up. He was going to show her what it felt like to be loved, not fucked. He was going to show the woman of his dreams that touching him was something she needed, because this would not be the only time. This woman was not going to just walk out when she was done with him. She was the only one he'd ever wanted to stay. Chance let his hand move around to her stomach then lower.
He couldn't feel the ink under her skin, but the scars were hard and thick. With his eyes closed and his mouth on her breast, his hands told him everything. The thin skin over her ribs had too little padding. The lines of her stomach were soft but lean. The dimple of her belly button was small, as delicate as everything else about her. Then he felt the short brush of her curls. The hair wasn't thick or long. She might not have a reason to keep her pussy trimmed to impress, but he didn't give a shit. He didn't want her because she waxed herself bare. He wanted her because she made him feel real. Chance moved his attention back to the first nipple and moved his hand down to her damp folds and slid right between them.