“This is so romantic, Reid.”
“Can I propose a toast?” he asks, leaning back to look at me. I nod and smile in anticipation. “To mistakes. To learning from them and accepting them. We’ve both made our fair share but I feel closer to you than ever tonight, Darl. If our mistakes brought us here then let’s honor them. I love you. More than you could ever know.”
We clink glasses and finish our champagne. I wipe a tear from my eye, but before I drop my hand Reid brings my wet finger to his mouth and graces it with a sweet kiss. “No more tears,” he tells me, leaning down to take my mouth.
When he pulls away I find my breath and smile. His healing eye catches my attention and I stroke it with my thumb. “I love you, more than I can ever show you.”
“You being with me is more than enough.”
The sky is completely black around us now. The view before us is illuminated with a million artificial lights fighting with the stars for our attention. We are able to enjoy a few minutes more before it is time to leave. I can’t thank him enough for the gift of this moment but I’ll try.
The ride home is silent but comfortable, more than comfortable. Our ease with each other is played out through soft touching, squeezing thighs, stroking fingers, and brief happy glances that subtly say everything that words can’t match. That ease accompanies us home, to our apartment, to our bed, as we favor familiarity and enjoy the benefits of knowing and loving each other for seven whole years, finally reminding ourselves that such an aged bond is a blessing, not a curse.
33
DARLENE
“I wrote you a song,” I call the second Reid walks through the door. I didn’t mean to attack him immediately, but the song is fresh in my mind and I’m desperate to sing it for him. He doesn’t look quite so keen. Instead, he looks at me a little shocked before glancing momentarily at his office. I note the armful of bound paper and sink a little in my chair. “I mean, hi.”
“Hi, baby,” he answers, a little quiet. “I have to work tonight.”
I think I do well not to let my disappointment show but he puts his papers on the counter and walks to sit in front of me, giving me that sympathetic look that reminds me how much my acting ability sucks.
“It’s fine,” I lie.
“No, it’s not, but it’s for a good cause. I have interviews for an assistant all day tomorrow and then I’ve persuaded them to allow me a few days off.”
I push aside the shock. “Really?”
He nods, a trace of a smile pulling at his mouth. “I miss the beach.”
My eyes stretch open and air escapes my lungs as if it has been sucked out. I put down Cash and take Reid’s hands in mine, struggling to combat the tears that have been living so close to the surface lately. “We’re going to LA?”
“Tomorrow night.”
I throw my arms around his neck and push us both to the back of the couch. His lips seek out mine but the kiss lacks intent as neither of us can stop smiling.
“I love you,” I breathe.
“Then sing me my song.”
“Nu-uh.” I sit up, shaking my head exaggeratedly. “I’ll sing you your song on the beach where it deserves to be played.”
He laughs and pulls me back down. “So you’re just going to leave me hanging?” His hips are pressed into mine and I’ve softened my legs around him.
“Oh, I think you’re the tease here.” We both stare down at our joined middles and then his eyes roam hungrily up my body as he flashes me that lopsided smile.
“I’m no tease. I’ll finish the job, baby.” He emphasizes his promise with a soft grind of his swollen erection against my sensitive center.
“Your work?”
“I guess I can spare ten minutes.”
“Ten?” I ask, mocking outrage.
“Okay, twenty. Tops.” He regards me seriously before grinning mischievously and dropping his lips to my neck with a loud growl.
Twenty minutes comes and goes.
The flight took four hours but it may as well have been a day long journey for how much it dragged. I have never been more excited to get somewhere in my life.
Despite how late it already is the heat greets me like a deep hug as we step out of the airport. Thank heavens for Reid’s efficiency because I am in a comfortable daze as I soak up the warmth and the feeling of being home. It’s not my home in the sense of being born and raised here, but it’s the place I have lived the best of my life. It feels like home. It smells like home. It is where the majority of my memories live and it’s where I met Reid. Where we began our story.
Reid joins me in my nostalgic bubble during the cab ride to his grandparents, staring out of the window with a soft smile lingering over his features. He pulls me close and I gladly settle against his shoulder, feeling my whole life slipping back into place.
It’s late when we arrive. Gram and Gramps are already waiting on the porch for us. Gram trickles down the stairs with wide eyes and a beaming smile, taking Reid into her arms with a happy sob.
“You’ve lost weight,” she accuses, and then turning to me, holding me at arm length. “And you’re too pale,” she sighs, and then scoops me into her delicate arms. “Thank goodness you got here when you did. Let’s get you two fed and fried!”
We eat and talk, and talk and eat, Reid having much more to say than I. The conversation centers round his work and I find myself zoning out. When we finally turn in for bed neither of us can sleep. We can hear the ocean through the open window, calling us like a fawn to its mother.
“Shall we?” Reid asks, already scooting out of bed.
“Grab Cash!” I whisper shout as I pull on some jeans and shrug on Reid’s white shirt over my camisole.
Reid takes my hand as we tiptoe down the creaky stairs and toward the back door, stopping only for Reid to fetch a six-pack from the fridge; Gramps’ gift to us.
The house is small and quaint, but worth an absolute fortune due to its proximity to the beach. The sand is less than a stone’s throw away down some worn wooden steps. The second the sand pours between my toes I sigh contentedly.
We walk toward the ebbing tide and sit cross-legged on the sand. The moon looks bigger here, brighter too, nothing but the stars to fight with for our attention. Their bluish glow transcends over the lapping water, unhindered by clouds or skyscraping buildings. Not on this beach.
“I can’t wait to see the sunset again,” I muse out loud.
“Me neither.” Reid bites the top off of a beer and hands it to me. “It feels different here now, though.”
“Really? I think it feels exactly the same...warm,” I say, sounding out the addition.
He chuckles and sips on his own beer. “What’s the biggest difference for you?”
I look at him, trying to work out whether he wants a playful answer or the truth. “It’s not one thing. Not really. Sure, I like all the components, but it’s the way it makes me feel that I crave. It feels easier to breathe here.” Reid looks away, toying with the label on his bottle. I try to address the guiltiness this brings me. “I spent my entire adolescence on the move, Reid, so when I finally settled somewhere for more than six months I clung to that notion of home. It’s not really real. It’s idealistic. I pinned this place as my home and it’s going to take some time to accept that it’s not anymore.”
“If ever,” he mutters.
I look at him, a touch annoyed but battling through it. “You know why it’s so difficult to leave here? Because of you. We met here, we fell in love here. Christ, Reid, we married here. LA is filled with a million memories and the majority of them are of you.”
“I know, I get that. So let’s make more memories in Chicago.”
“That’s the plan.” I offer a smile. “My home’s with you, Reid, and if that’s in Chicago then I’m okay with that.”
“I want more than okay.”
“Then you need to give me some more time.”
He sighs heavily and nods his head like it’s weighted. Shifti
ng closer, I wipe the sand off of my hand before looping it under his arm and wrapping my fingers around his bicep. I rest my head against his shoulder before he pulls away enough to look at me.
“So…my song?”
“Manners.”
“Pretty please.”
I attempt my own lopsided smile before reaching for Cash and laying him on my thighs. I take a moment to appreciate Reid, my husband, and how beautiful he is. Be it in Chicago or LA, his attractiveness transcends. His eyes, so dark in the black air, still twinkle impossibly, and his perfectly coiffed hair has been replaced with floppy strands, swept back from repeated runs of his hands through it. The most noticeable of all though is the way that he is looking at me, as if I am the sole reason for his happiness rather than the one thing that has threatened to steal it.
Clapping his hands in a gesture of ‘hurry up’ Reid rearranges himself to face me completely, letting his toned legs fall to the side as he leans against the sand, propped up on his elbow.
I breathe deep, strum once, and begin.
“Cold like my heart when we’re apart,
Sitting all alone in the room,
Empty like promise, trapped in the darkness,
Drowning in the light of the moon,
An empty vase sure conveys the way I feel when I’m without you,
An empty vase out of place without your arms to fall into,
I need you,
The yellow of the sun puts a smile upon my face,
The heat of its glow like the heat of your embrace,
But it doesn’t compare, for when you are there,
I’m blind to everything but your grace.
An empty vase sure conveys the way I feel when I’m without you,
An empty vase out of place without your arms to fall into,
And I need you, like the vase needs filling, darkness is spilling, without
your glow,
And I want you, like the vase needs color, I want to harbor, the love
that I know.
You’re what I need, what I want, what I need, what I want.
Reid is silent as the last chord fades into the salty air. The song was purposely country, for him, because I know that’s what he enjoys me singing the most, and while it was soft and quieter than I would have liked to have sung, having taken into account the late hour, I hope that the emotion behind it was conveyed, because it said a lot for me.
Green eyes burn my blushing face. I’m not ordinarily so nervous about performing, but when my heart pours out along with my music, and the music is my very own, I can feel the pressure like it’s a tangible force.
I’m about to demand a response from him when he sits up, his eyes unyielding, and he crawls the small distance to me. Taking my guitar without asking, he lays it next to us. His gaze falls to my lips and I feel my insides clench at the intensity of his manner. Sometimes he looks at me like I am an unexplored wonder, like he’s thirsty and I’m his juice, he’s hungry and I’m his meat. This is one of those moments, and when he looks at me like this I will be his anything.
He’s on his knees hovering over me. Bringing his hand to my jaw he tilts my head up, manipulating my mouth to meet his. The pressure is soft but not weak and his breath is warm and heavy against my parted lips. I’m a puppet in his hands as he guides me backwards onto the sand, reaching for his towel to place under my head. He’s yet to say a single word to me and despite his reaction I’m still desperate for feedback.
“Did you like it?” I ask, breathy but stern as I block his kiss with my fingers.
Reid bites them, clamping them together before releasing them with a devilish smile. “Of course I loved it, you’re amazing. So talented, so beautiful,” he half says, half purrs, punctuating his words with brief kisses. Then his smile falters and he holds my chin in his grasp. “But you’ll never feel that way again. You’ll never feel empty again.”
I smile. “Promise?”
Holding his hand out, upright, he waits for my own, and with its contact he says, “I promise.” Our fingers spread and then entwine, lacing together as he embeds our hands in the sand above my head. “I promise,” he repeats against my ear, tightening my insides once more. My legs fall open, allowing his hips room to move against me, two lots of denim between us but the swell of him pressing against my already sensitive area is enough to have me gasping.
As his hand leaves my face to unbutton his shirt that I’m wearing, I shift in the sand, promptly reminding myself where we are.
“Here?”
“It’s the middle of the night, baby. Nobody’s watching us but the stars.” Dexterous fingers have opened the length of my shirt and his hand slips over my aware skin, persuading me in harmony with his words.
Looking either side of me, behind me, in front of us, I concede that there is nobody around. The mound of sand we are nestling against hides us somewhat from the darkened row of beach houses and there is no noise from anywhere other than the waves to hint at an oncoming intrusion. I consult with my conscience but when Reid’s fingertips reach my hardened nipples, teasing them with lazy circles, I disregard any indecision.
My legs tighten around him, bringing him closer still as my hands guide his face to mine. Our tongues meet gently, stroking heavily but slow. Reid pulls back enough for me to bite his lip. He growls as I lift my pelvis, begging for more than just friction.
Consenting, his hands travel greedily down my body until they reach my waist. Easily unfastening my jeans, he tugs them down slowly, his eyes feasting on my exposed flesh as he realizes I am without underwear. He doesn’t acknowledge it, not vocally, but the corners of his lips curl and he hastily removes his shirt and denim shorts.
Stopping me from pulling him back to me, he instead leans back on the sand, using his shirt as a poor attempt at a pillow. Reaching for my hips he guides me until I am straddling him. I am already so turned on that I instantly fall into a rhythm of gliding over him, coating him in my wetness. Gentle hands stroke the curves of my breasts, holding their weight as his thumbs circle my diamond-hard nipples.
“You are stunning. You’re beautiful every minute of the day, but in this moonlight, on our beach, you are out of this world beautiful.” His words are a whispered song, hitting all the right notes. I need him in me now. We both do. I angle myself over him and fall slowly, treasuring how deeply he fills me and how, as he controls his excitement, I can feel him throbbing so hungrily inside me.
“Slow baby,” he moans, as he lifts my hips, prompting me to move. The sand shifts under my knees, moving in tandem with my lifting, allowing the movements to come slow and cushioned. The feeling is exquisite. Reid thinks so too, throwing his head back for a moment, allowing me to enjoy the blue of the moon as it highlights the sharp line of his stubbly jaw and the way his brow is furrowed with deep concentration. His mouth hangs open but his jaw is tense, a sure sign that he is enjoying this as much as myself.
The moonlight bounces off of his sculpted chest and abs. I notice with faint awareness that Gram is right; he’s lost a little weight. He’s still defined but has less bulk. It doesn’t take away from how artfully chiseled the contours of his body are. My hands run over every muscle I see, the hard bumps quiver at my touch and I can see he’s so close.
I move quicker, sinking deeper until he’s so embedded in me it’s almost painful. In my pace I find my own release approaching, beckoning me with thick, intense contracting. Reid’s fingers dig hard into my skin, as groans fall plentifully from his slack mouth. I move them away, needing some support as I battle my impending orgasm. He clasps my fingers in his as he thrusts into me at the same time as my own movement, bouncing us together so perfectly.
“Yes, Reid. Together,” I cry, so close and so in need of this.
“I’m waiting, baby.”
With a deep push against my womb I am undone, every muscle of my body is rigid with an intense sensation that throbs in my center but pours heatedly through my veins and blacks out every thought in m
y mind. The only thing I am conscious of is Reid’s hands around my back as he sits up, holding tight as his mouth bites down on my shoulder with his own release. We rock to the rhythm of the waves behind us as we come down from such a powerful high.
“It’s been a while,” Reid breathes with his lips at my cheek.
“Since the beach has seen us so indecently?”
He chuckles and nods. “I’ve missed it.”
“Me too. Although, I don’t miss the sand getting everywhere,” I groan, wondering if I will wake Gram and Gramps if I shower this late.
“Sand?” he repeats. I nod, kissing him once before lifting myself off of him. I’m poised to put my jeans back on when I’m tackled from behind and lifted high into the air.
“Reid!” I squeal as I’m thrown over his shoulder.
“Shush!”
“You shush! Put me down!”
He’s walking with determination toward the ocean. “We can’t have sand in all the wrong places, can we?” he says, and even with his ass as my only viewpoint I can tell he is smiling.
“Don’t you dare!” With my challenge he swats me on my bare ass and propels into a jog. The waves hit Reid’s legs and I already know that it’s cold from his sharp intake of breath.
“Fuck,” he bites, still going in deeper. I’m insanely mad, so why am I laughing? It’s uncontrollable. He tries to lift me off of his shoulders but I cling to him like a cat, wrapping my legs around his waist and locking my arms around his neck.
“If I go, you go!” I laugh.
“Oh, it’s totally worth it.”
He dunks.
He fucking dunks.
We are completely submerged in ice cold water for what can only be a second but what feels like a lifetime. We are both gasping with shock and laughter as he brings us to stand, cursing repeatedly as Reid lowers us again. This time he descends slow, allowing us to acclimatize to the chill. It’s not so cold second time round, just without the warmth of the sun.
“You’re such a jerk!” I snap, mocking strangling him.
Winter Blues Page 21