by Sean Michael
“I don’t know.” Robin reached out for his hand, held on. “I think maybe I need a nap.”
He chuckled but took the comment under advisement. “Have you had anything to eat yet today?”
“No. No, I was running late, and I thought I’d grab coffee and a muffin on my first break.”
“I bet you feel a lot better after you’ve eaten.”
As if on cue, their waitress arrived with their juices and milks. “So you’re ready to order?”
“Please. Robin will have the waffles with no berries, extra whip cream. I’ll have the waffles and two side orders of bacon, please.”
“You got it. Won’t be long at all.”
Robin drank his milk, proving that his boy was actually hungry.
He sipped at his orange juice, wanting to have that finished before his waffles showed up. He didn’t like the way the sweet syrup made the juice taste.
He watched as the milk worked on his boy, giving those cheeks a little color.
“I love you. I’m sorry things have been so weird.”
“I love you too. And it’s not all on you. We’re both in this relationship.”
“I know, but I can only be sorry for my parts.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry for your parts,” he teased softly. “I’m particularly fond of your parts.”
“Thank you. I’m sort of crazy about yours.”
“Only sort of?” He pouted dramatically.
“Okay, stupidly.”
Stack laughed and took Robin’s hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss his boy’s knuckles. “You love me best.”
“Yes.” Robin beamed at him. “And I’m going to figure all this out, I promise.”
“You don’t have to do it alone. And you don’t have to have it all figured out today.” There wasn’t any reason for Robin to stress this.
“Thank you. I’ll have to work out details, but we’ll… it’ll be okay.”
“Of course it’s going to be okay.” Had his boy not heard him say they could do this together?
“I know. I know. I’m lucky. You have my back.”
“I do. We have this, boy.” He squeezed Robin’s hand again, letting it go as the waitress came back with their food. Damn, those waffles looked good.
“God, that looks amazing.” Robin handed him the syrup.
He poured a bunch on his waffles and handed it back. Then he added copious amounts of butter. They would have to go work out later.
“That’s the best part. The butter. I can feel my arteries hardening.”
He laughed at how their minds had gone to the same place. They really were a couple. Robin winked at him, so playful. So joyful.
He smiled back, enjoying the sudden turn of mood. Happy Robin was so much better than pouty, angry Robin.
Of course, part of the problem was these harsh mood swings.
“Eat your food, baby. We have plans for later.”
“We were supposed to chat about our plans.”
“So let’s chat.” But he was still the master here.
“Here? Okay. I’m not sinking into things like I used to.”
“I have noticed that.” He’d put it down to them being so busy.
“Do you think it’s me? Do you think I’m doing something wrong?”
“I think we’ve been super busy… and stressed. Have you been doing anything different? Coming in with a different attitude?”
“Just a lot on my mind, I think.”
“You are supposed to give that over to me, Robin.” It was like his boy had forgotten what it meant to have a master.
“I do! I mean, I try to. I mean, we both have a lot to think about….”
“You’re not supposed to worry about what’s on my mind. You’re supposed to trust me with everything and let go.” They needed a scene more than ever. Something intense.
“I worry. We’re a couple. I’m responsible for making your life better.”
“What exactly does that mean to you?”
“I used to know. I used to take care of everything at the house and feel like that was enough.”
“And now because you were working you think you don’t take care of me? Because you’re not actually physically taking care of everything at the house?” That wasn’t what it was about. Sure, lots of subs enjoyed taking care of all that, but it wasn’t a requirement.
“Well, I mean, of course not, but it used to be all I did, you know?”
“So you’re having trouble figuring out your place now that you aren’t simply taking care of the house. You don’t get it, then. That you being my submissive—that’s taking care of me.” He didn’t need Robin to do things for him. He needed Robin to give himself completely.
“But it’s not. I mean, it is, but… I worry. I want us to be okay.”
“Do you feel that we’re not?” Okay. This called for something drastic. A big scene where he stripped Robin down.
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, I think you’re fine. I think I’m just a little scattered. I think that my whole world changed when I left you.”
“I think you’ve forgotten what it truly means to have a master.” He sat back, his food mostly uneaten. He was too busy working out the scene he was going to do with Robin to focus on his waffles.
“What? No! No, I haven’t. Not at all!”
“So how come this is the first I’m hearing about all this?”
“We haven’t exactly spent a shitload of time sharing our feelings. We try to make sure we don’t hurt each other again, and we work.”
“You still should have told me how you were feeling. You’ve been so stressed at work, I would have liked to have taken at least this from your shoulders.”
“I don’t know that I knew how I was feeling, Stack. I mean, this is a whole new world.”
Stack shook his head. “Not really. I’m still your master; you’re still my boy.” He believed Robin had forgotten how they worked, deep at the core of them. Not on purpose, not meanly—it had just happened.
“Yes, but I have to stand up for myself too. I have to be clear about things—good and bad. That’s fair to both of us.”
He tilted his head. “Baby, I’m confused.”
“I’m sorry. Let’s just eat our waffles. My brain is all over the place.”
“We’ll eat, and then we’ll go to the gym.” He needed to attend his boy. Remind Robin who his master was and what that meant. Help his boy find his subspace again.
He had a few bites, then texted Tide, asked his fellow master if he could pick a few things up for him.
“I’m sorry. Just—it’s been a weird day.”
“On that we can totally agree.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby. We’ll figure it out.” He reached out and took Robin’s hand, squeezed it. “I promise.”
“Let’s just eat and relax. We can revisit the deep thoughts tomorrow.”
“Actually, we’re going to eat, go to the gym, and do a scene. Master Tide has agreed to pick up some things for me.”
“But…. Stack, I thought you were listening to me.”
“I listened to every word, boy. That’s why we’re doing the scene.” Everything Robin said made him feel even stronger about doing this scene.
“We’re eating a big meal. I got fired. I want to relax.”
“And the best way to do that is to get you to your subspace.”
“Maybe the best way is to go home, clean, maybe start job hunting.”
Now Robin was pushing to make sure the scene was long and intense, surely. “We’re going with my plan. Take as long as you want to eat, but then your ass is mine.” Literally.
Robin sighed. “Dammit. Have I done something wrong?”
“I said a scene, not a punishment, boy. Having said that, you do seem to have forgotten who the master is here.”
“I have not. I’m trying to do things right!”
“But you’re telling me how we’re going to get you to relax. You’r
e discounting my role as your master.”
“I’m just trying to be… good.” Robin frowned at him. “I’m a good guy.”
He took Robin’s hand again. “I never said you weren’t. I said this wasn’t a punishment. Have you taken that in? This is a scene. Deep submission. I’m going to push you—I’m going to stretch you.”
Robin searched his eyes, and Stack saw it, the moment when Robin heard him. Really heard him. “No. No, I hadn’t. I was obviously listening to the voices in my head. I hear you now.”
There was his boy.
“Good. Good. We’re going to make an afternoon of it. It’s going to be intense.” The words were a promise as well as a warning.
“You don’t have to go back in tonight? You’re not on call?”
“I took a day of personal time.” And he had a contingency plan if he got called in for an emergency. A way to put a pin in the scene and come back to it later. With any luck it wouldn’t be an issue.
“I don’t know if, emotionally, I can do intense and then spend the night alone, you know?” Robin held his hand.
“That won’t happen.” He could promise that.
“Thank you. I’m trying really hard to be open about what I need.”
“Sometimes you can’t see what that is, though. Sometimes you get in your own way.”
Robin nodded. “Sometimes. Hell, Stack, I don’t know. Sometimes I feel totally upside down.”
“And when trying to right yourself makes it even worse, you need to remember to come to me. That’s what I’m talking about when I say you forget I’m your master.” He pointed at Robin’s half-eaten waffles. “This was your treat—don’t waste it.” They didn’t need to talk this to death. Robin would get it better through the scene itself.
“You either, huh?”
“I won’t.” He had to admit, his mind was on the scene now. On how he was going to shave his boy all over. Make Robin ride one of the big plugs that attached to the floor in the gym. Whip that tiny hole. It was designed to make Robin soar.
“Cool.” Robin’s phone rang, and his boy rolled his eyes, turned it off without looking. Seemed like Stack wasn’t the only one already focusing on the scene. Good. He wanted his boy right with him. “There’s no one I want to talk to but you right now.”
He smiled. “Good. We can enjoy the rest of our breakfasts and begin to focus, to get into the right headspace at the same time.”
“Can I have a bite of bacon?”
“Baby, one of the plates is for you.”
“Oh. Thanks!” Silly boy. Always in his head. Always.
“You’re welcome.” He ate some of his own bacon, then worked on finishing his waffle. The berries were tart and lovely. Then he sat back to admire Robin eating as he thought about their scene, about bringing Robin to his subspace again. Helping Robin find his center once more.
His boy needed him, and maybe more than that, he needed Robin. Needed to find his footing again. Maybe this was the scene required to regenerate the relationship they’d once had. Either way—he was eager. His boy deserved nothing less.
Stack needed to make sure he was home tonight, to keep his lover close, held tight. To that end, he sent a text to the zoo, letting them know his personal time was going to extend into tomorrow—he couldn’t be on call. They’d have to bring in his backup if there was an emergency. Having Tide on tap wasn’t enough. Robin needed him.
Him.
Chapter Nineteen
ROBIN MADE those last few bites last and last. He was excited and nervous and shivery. He’d been working himself into a state, but when Stack had reminded him to listen, that he wasn’t in any sort of trouble, that this was no punishment….
Well, shit. He lived for these scenes, and he wanted this, wanted to play and let the awful shit from this morning go.
She’d called him a slut. She didn’t have the right to do that. No one did—not as an insult. That was Stack’s word for him, and it meant love and heat and admiration.
Stack looked at his watch and then at him, giving him a knowing smile. “I think you’re about done, don’t you?”
“I have three more bites,” he teased.
“Are you planning on making them last another hour?” Stack asked, eyes twinkling, proving his master was teasing too.
“Maybe two hours. I could cut them in half!” He couldn’t hold in the laughter.
“Only if you want the mother of all spankings before we even begin the scene.” Stack shook his head, but a few chuckles worked their way out.
They looked at each other and started laughing, cackling hysterically, letting the tension out.
When they’d gotten a hold of themselves again, Stack raised his hand, and once he had their waitress’s attention, he made the international symbol for “Check, please.”
“There. You’ve got however long it takes for her to bring us the bill and me to pay it to finish up your waffles.”
“I’m wounded.” Still, he really was done. He finished his orange juice, still chuckling.
“I’ll kiss you to make it better,” Stack promised, giving him a wink as the waitress, approaching their table with their bill, missed a half step.
She recovered quickly, handing over the slips of paper. “Will you need the machine?”
Stack nodded as he took the paper and looked it over. “Please.”
“Be right back.”
“You look excited.” Robin loved that look of eagerness in Stack’s eyes.
“I am. We haven’t had a scene like this one in a long time. You’re going to fly, baby. To the stars.” Even Stack’s voice sounded excited.
“So long as you catch me in the end, Master.”
“Always.” Stack took his hand again, eyes looking straight into his soul. “It’s what I was made for.”
“You were made to rescue lost cats. I just lucked out.”
Stack stuck out his tongue. “You make it sound like I climb ladders to pull house cats down from tall branches.”
Before he could say anything, their waitress returned with the machine, and Stack pulled out his debit card to pay for their meal. The thought tickled the hell out of him, though. Stack as a shirtless fireman. His lover certainly had the body for it.
As a result of his thoughts, he was smiling pretty wide by the time Stack had finished paying and pocketed his card. The waitress took away their plates as she went.
“You ready, boy?” Stack asked, smiling back at him.
“I am. I was just admiring you.”
Stack put his arms up and flexed. “That means all the work is worth it.”
“Always. You’re stunning.” He was lean where Stack was muscular.
Stack looked pleased. Then he stood and held out his hand. “Come on, my beautiful one. I am going to make you more than stunning yourself.”
“I don’t think a scene is going to make me muscly and hot.”
Stack chuckled. “Good. I like you not muscly. You’re already hot, though.” Stack pulled him up and kissed the back of his hand again.
He felt like he had every bit of Stack’s attention right now.
“Thank you. I want to be hot in your eyes. It’s important.”
“You are, Robin. Like so hot. You make me need every time I see you.” Stack kept hold of his hand as they left the restaurant and headed toward the gym.
“Thank you.” Oh, that felt good. Really good.
“I’ve recruited Master Tide to help with the scene,” Stack noted. “He’s gathered everything we’re going to need and is meeting us on the third floor.”
They’d played with Master Tide for years, and they were all good friends, trusted one another. “He wasn’t busy? I know he’s got a boy of his own.”
“He was apparently at loose ends. I think Lance had a photo shoot. Which worked out well for us.” Stack held his hand tighter as they got closer to the gym. It felt good to know that anticipation was riding his master.
“It did. You’re making me excited.�
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“Good.” Stack said only that—simple, but heartfelt—and squeezed Robin’s hand again.
They had almost reached the gym, and the tension ratcheted up. How would Stack start it? What did he have planned?
“So… are there rules? I mean, what are you looking for?”
“Your obedience and your joy. And your trust,” Stack added as they arrived at the door. “We’re going to go up to the showers on the third floor first. We’ll begin there.”
“Those three things are easy as breathing.” He knew without a single doubt that Stack would never intentionally hurt him, ever.
“Excellent.” They got to the gym, and Stack held the door for him. He waved at the guy behind the front desk and led Robin right to the main stairs. They headed up. “Remember this is an intense, extreme scene, so take a breath when you need to.”
“Right. As long as you have me, I’m cool.” He hoped.
“You’re going to shower for me, first. Just a quick soap and rinse job. Then I’m going to shave you. All of you.”
“All of me?” They’d done it before, a few times, but he needed to find a new job….
“Every single inch. I’m going to strip you absolutely bare so I can build you back up into my Robin again.” They reached the third floor, and Stack moved them right toward the showers.
“But what about finding a new job? It’ll be at least a few weeks before I can….”
“This will give you time to hone your resume and decide exactly what it is you want to do. I know you don’t want to work just for the sake of working. Was the gallery job really what you wanted? I mean, if your boss had been better? Anyway. The shaving is happening. You and me—we’re more important than you getting a new job right away.”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, that was a lot of questions in a row, Master.”
“Sorry. And I don’t know if you want to answer them right now. I’m ready for us to shut out the rest of the world and enter the scene. Everything else will still be here waiting for us tomorrow.”
“I love you.” That seemed to be the most important thing. He loved Stack.
Stack drew him close and kissed him. “I love you too.” The piercing gaze held his for a long moment; then Stack nodded. “Strip and take a quick shower, boy.”