“What are you going to do after they catch him?” Mathieu asked.
She glanced up at him, eyes wide.
“You get really still when you think about him. Just figured I’d remind you that they are going to catch him. He can’t get this stuff swept under the rug.” Mathieu was so certain. She wanted to believe him.
“I won’t get my hopes up.”
“Okay, so humor me.” He rolled they faced each other, poses mirrored with one hand tucked under their faces. “What’s next for you? You serious about moving back here?”
“Yeah. Find a place to finish my hours, then start working. I might stay in New Orleans. I’d like to be around for Leo. Besides, I miss this place.”
His gaze shuttered, growing dark. Was that not what he’d wanted to hear? Did he expect her to leave?
“Is there somewhere to do your hours here?” he asked.
Porkchop loped between us and pounced on Mathieu’s hand. He in turn rolled the puppy over, content to be his plaything.
“There was when I was first looking at locations, but at the time I didn’t want to be close to mom and dad. I’m thinking I’ll reach out to them, see if they would consider it or if I need to go back to Miami to wrap up, I could do it in a month. Then come back and get on my feet.”
Mathieu seemed to have stopped listening to her, all his focus on the puppy. She watched the dogs play, growling at each other.
This was how things would end. With prolonged silences and awkward non-goodbyes.
“Say you have to go back to Miami for a month, in a worst-case scenario, when you came back, where would you stay?” he asked as he held Porkchop down with one hand on his belly, wiggling him around while the puppy growled and bit at his fingers.
“I don’t know. I’d probably ask Leo if he could put me up for a bit.”
“I’m pretty serious about getting a place. You could stay with me.” He didn’t look at her when he spoke, his gaze still on the puppy.
What part of him was making this offer? The man? The officer? The Dominant? Was it out of some sense of honor or obligation?
“I don’t want to put you out any more. You’ve already done so much for me.” Her heart fractured as she spoke the words and the muscles in her throat constricted. She loved him, and soon it would be time to say goodbye.
Mathieu sighed, as if frustrated and nudged Porkchop away, but the puppy kept coming back. He swept Porkchop up and held him to his chest. His gaze rose and there was a piercing quality to it, as if she was in the crosshairs.
“I seriously suck at this now. I want you to stay with me. I don’t want to let you go yet. I realize that I am not the whole package right now, I’ve got some issues still, but you made me wake up and live again. I didn’t want to fall for you, but I did. I think we still have something here. Or am I the only one who sees that?”
She stared at him, jaw lax and still taking in his words. Was he serious?
“Okay, so you don’t have to say yes. . .”
“I’m in love with you,” she blurted, heat rising on her cheeks. Okay, not the best way to say that, but it wasn’t like she’d ever hesitated to put it all out there.
Mathieu chuckled and his grin grew. “Well that’s more than I was expecting. Sorry dude, you need to go down there.” He sat up and placed Porkchop on top of Gator, where he promptly latched onto the other dog’s ears.
Lisette cupped a hand over her face. Why had she just said that?
“Come here.” Mathieu wrapped his arm around her, one leg hooking over hers. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. I think I just forgot I did.”
“Really?” She gaped at him in disbelief.
“What I feel for you is so much deeper than what I ever felt for Amanda. It’s like you’re tied to my bones.”
Lisette swallowed around the growing lump in her throat. Sometimes all the reasons something shouldn’t work were all the best reasons for why it would.
“I need to tell you something first,” she blurted.
Mathieu blinked at her. “Okay,” he said slowly.
She sat up, tucking the blanket under her arms. Porkchop made a straight line for her fluttering hands, growling and trying to pounce on them.
It was time to come totally and completely clean.
“I run a kink blog,” she said.
“Is that it?”
“Yes, but it’s kind of a big deal to some people.”
“What’s it called?”
“Kinky Girl Blogs.”
“No shit?”
She nodded.
He squinted at her. “And you write for the site?”
“No, I’m Kinky Girl. Me. It’s my site.”
“Really?” He squished up his face. “I haven’t read it much, but I thought you’d be a red head. Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“Yes. Odalia figured it out, and now you know, but I don’t tell people it’s me. I just…wanted you to know.”
“Why? Because you’ve written about me?”
She winced. “Maybe…”
“That’s okay, just tell everyone I have a big dick.”
She sputtered and laughed while stroking the puppy’s soft fur.
“I mean, what are you going to say about me on there?”
“Nothing I wouldn’t ask you to okay first, but I do blog about my life and relationships.”
He pursed his lips and stared at the wall. “I want to say something, and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way, but I’m not sure how to say it without sounding like an ass.”
“Just say it.”
Mathieu tilted his head, his gaze coming to rest on her. “I don’t want to put it out there that we’re together just yet. I want to have time for us to settle into this, figure stuff out, before we tell people and get their unwanted input.”
“That doesn’t sound horrible, but it doesn’t leave me feeling anything warm or fuzzy.”
He enveloped her hand in his. “What I don’t want is for people to see you as another Amanda.”
“Oh.” It clicked. He didn’t want the doubters to poison what they had.
She didn’t think they could hide it for long, maybe a week or two from those closest to them, but it was still some time to settle.
The cops were everywhere.
Seth couldn’t take five steps without seeing another patrol car. It was time to get away. There were too many people around Lisette for him to get to her now. He just needed to wait. Be a little more patient.
Except the five o’ clock news had featured a full color picture of his face, except he’d still been a blond then. It was a flimsy disguise and wouldn’t last long.
He struck off down another street, winding his way farther and farther away from his target. It wasn’t a retreat, more like a regroup. He needed to get things in motion to fix the cop business. It was surprising his commanding officer hadn’t nipped the investigation in the bud already. His superiors had never let a situation get to the press before, so this was new.
There was nothing Seth could do about the coverage. He just had to ignore it. Or pretend to. It now felt as if he was constantly in a sniper’s crosshairs. He didn’t like being so exposed. When he hunted, it was just him and his prey. Now, it was him, Lisette, and the whole world.
The bitch would pay.
But first, he needed some space.
He made it back to the rundown motel where he’d rented a room under a false ID. It was the kind of place where the desk clerk never looked you in the face and if you paid in cash, they didn’t care what you called yourself.
He didn’t want to make this call, but if his mission were to be a success, he needed the back-up. As soon as he made the call he’d have to move again, so he packed up his belongings and set them by the door.
Cell phones were such convenient technology, but they might as well be homing beacons, beckoning anyone who would come to them a glimpse into the
owner’s life. They contained so much personal information. So many applications that aggregated all the information you needed about a person.
All the more reason why Seth kept a few phones and never turned any of them on.
He pulled out a sleek, white phone from its case and powered it on. He let it boot up, ignored the messages, and dialed the one number he would never forget. His commanding officer’s direct line.
“Bishop, you’d better have a damn good reason for not being here under my nose,” a gravelly voice growled over the phone.
“Sorry, sir. I have a mission—”
“No, what you have had is a psychotic break with reality.”
Seth pursed his lips. They’d discussed this before. “Sir, I can’t come back until the girl is dead.”
“Christ, how many have you killed this time?”
He had to pause to think about it. There were the ones the police had found and a few others. “Eight or nine.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Sir, I need the press and the police called off.”
“No. No, Bishop. If you’d called me out of the gate when this started happening, I’d have helped you, but this is too much. You get your ass here and we will deal with it.”
The old man continued to bitch at him. Seth pursed his lips and hung up. In a few flicks of his wrist he’d opened the case and removed the battery.
That was disappointing.
He slid the pieces back into the case and into a pocket on his backpack.
It was time to move.
Hello Kinksters,
The staff has asked me to do another Q&A post. The outpouring of support has touched my heart and hasn’t gone unheard.
The most received question this week has been a variant on, am I okay?
The answer is yes. I am safe, taken care of, and I believe there will be a swift conclusion to the on-going problems with the guilty party who attacked me.
Next up, the staff has been fielding some interest in bringing Kinky Girl to some conventions, and we’ve gotten quite a few inquiries that are essentially, will you be near me?
I’m sorry, but no. Kinky Girl is an anonymous forum. Should the bloggers choose to go public and present, that’s great. More power to them. But Kinky Girl as either the site or myself will not be making an appearance. From the beginning I’ve striven to maintain an anonymous, safe platform for people to speak out about their lifestyles, current events, and what they can do to better the kink community through this site. I feel that by going public with our identities, we will lose some of the freedom to be ourselves. In addition, a number of our contributors have lives, jobs, and families that are unconnected to our kink lifestyles.
This following question was asked by a small handful of people who chose to share their stories with either myself or the staff as a whole. Let me speak first to the shared experience. For those of us who have experienced abuse, there is a part of us that might always carry the scars—and that’s okay. We can still overcome it, through our personal journeys, by opening ourselves up to trust and love again. It’s hard. We hurt. The triggers we live with change the way we live and interact with others. And yes, to answer the question posed to us, I and the staff believe that the victims of abuse can find love again. We can be loved and give love, and more than that—we deserve it as much as anyone else does.
Okay kinksters, I have three hot guys waiting for me to get into bed. Here’s the latest addition to my little family. His name is Porkchop and he likes to gnaw on my toes. I know all our foot fetishist followers are awfully jealous of this little guy. The new polish is a matte purple from an independent online store that sent me samples. I promise to update later with the buy links.
Love you kinky people,
KG
Lisette rose slowly to consciousness. The room was still dark and the comforting weight of a sixty-pound dog was across her feet. One leg was mostly numb while the other was wet.
Not a good sign.
Mathieu had his back to her and was whispering into his cell phone. She was too groggy to catch anything he said and far more concerned for why the bed was wet. She sat up and placed her hand on top of the spot. The unmistakable aroma of dog and pee hit her in the face.
The puppy.
They’d fallen asleep with the puppy in bed with them.
She groaned and Mathieu turned toward her, his face half illuminated by the glow of his cell phone. It would have been an eerily beautiful picture, were she not half-covered in dog pee.
Lisette managed to get out from under Gator and swung her legs off the bed. She hissed as the blood rushed into her right foot and wiggled her toes as the sensation of pins and needles poking her sole shot up her nerves.
She patted the bed, scared of what else Porkchop might have left for them to find. The puppy was curled up against Gator, sound asleep. She felt bad picking him up, but neither did she want him to piddle on the bed again. Limping her way into the living room, she swaddled Porkchop in one of Mathieu’s old, ratty shirts so he would sleep with the scent of his human pack around him and left the still snoozing puppy in his crate.
Mathieu filled the doorway to the bedroom when she turned around.
“What’s going on?” She didn’t know if she wanted him to tell her or not.
“I—uh—I have to go in. Now.” He didn’t seem pleased about that at all.
A drop of fear snaked through her veins, spreading dread, her heart rate kicked up and the muscles around her chest constricted. She’d be alone.
“There’s another kid missing. They’re working sources to find them. I’m sorry.”
How could she be upset about that?
“Go.” She closed the distance between them and lifted up on tip-toe to press a kiss to his mouth. She could do that now, without fear that she was fabricating something between them—because it was already there. On both sides.
“Patrol is going to come by sooner, I think every half hour, and they’ll call you every hour. As soon as I know who is on duty, I’ll text you their numbers so you know to answer. Can you call Leo to come over?”
“He’s still in Shreveport.”
“Damn, and Lola is in Baton Rouge and I have no idea where Odalia is.”
“I’ll be fine. Go. Those kids need to be found.”
She managed to say the words and mean them, but deep down she was scared. When he left, she’d be alone while she did laundry in the basement, while she took the dogs out for a walk and while she was here, waiting for him to get back. Alone with her thoughts and jumping at every sound that could be Seth.
“I’ll check in on you.”
“I’ll make you something to eat really quick.” She gave him a little push into the bedroom before retreating to the kitchen to have her meltdown in private.
If Mathieu saw her shaking like a leaf, he wouldn’t leave her. And she couldn’t be the reason he didn’t go out and try to find the kids. She gripped the kitchen counter and blew out a breath. Gator’s nails clicked against the floor as he followed her into the kitchen and licked her bare thigh.
“It’s just going to be us today. Think you can protect me?” She knelt and stared into his dark eyes.
Gator strained toward her until their noses touched. She smiled and gave him a scratch.
Right. Breakfast. There were things to do and a man to see out of the door.
She washed her hands and put together a quick sandwich. It wasn’t anything fancy or even breakfast-like, but she couldn’t send him out the door without something in his stomach.
Mathieu appeared as if summoned, and accepted her offering of food with a smile.
“Thank you.”
She lifted up for another kiss, soaking up all his confidence and courage. She’d need all she could get to make it through the day without her imagination killing her. Mathieu held her against his chest with an arm around her waist. He pressed his mouth to hers, deepening the kis
s. Warmth spread through her abdomen, curling up through her chest.
“I’ll be back,” he said in a low, husky voice.
“Alright, Terminator. I’ll see you tonight.”
He gave her one last smile before stepping through the door and into the hall. She slid the locks into place and leaned her back against it.
The tremors didn’t come; fear didn’t lock her into place. A creepy-crawly sensation danced up her spine, but that was it. Maybe she was stronger than she realized.
Lisette jumped in the shower and washed off in a hurry. She could hear Porkchop whining and it was early enough the neighbors were probably still asleep. She hurriedly got dressed and wrangled the harnesses and leashes onto both dogs.
It’ll be okay, she chanted to herself as she let Gator take the lead. Porkchop mostly bounced around, following the older dog or chasing her shoelaces. Regardless, they got down to the street and struck off toward the dog park. Mathieu might have gotten nasty looks and told to stay away, but she’d been lucky so far. Hell, most of the time the park was empty when she went.
Every five or ten feet she glanced over her shoulder, but nothing was there. People walked to and fro, on their way to work or out for a jog. She was just another of the early morning risers.
She breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe today wasn’t going to be that bad.
Seth stared at the blonde woman in his binoculars.
She was out and alone. He’d seen Detective Mouton leave the building shortly before Lisette stepped out with the dogs.
Finally, he could wrap things up.
But not now. There was too much traffic. Once the morning rush was over, she’d be alone in the building.
It would be a fitting end, to leave her for the man who thought to own her to find. Maybe Mouton would learn his place then.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Blood
Mathieu stared at the map spread out on top of a patrol car. Officers were canvassing the neighborhood, but like all the other snatch and grab jobs with the kids, no one had seen anything amiss.
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