“But you will all the same,” the King said, “and you will do it for my own good.”
Again his voice was jeering before he went on,
“That is what Uncle Sándor always says, ‘I am only telling you this for your own good!’ If you want the truth I am sick to death of my uncle and everyone else for that matter! I want to be left alone! I want to enjoy myself, have fun with my own friends, make love to the women I choose – and let me tell you once and for all – you are not my type!”
Zosina was tempted to snap back that he was not her type either, but she knew it would sound very childish.
Instead she just stood staring blindly out of the window feeling that this could not be happening. In fact, the whole conversation was like something in a nightmare.
“I will tell you one more thing,” the King said loudly. “If we have to marry and I cannot see how I can get out of it, the moment I am properly a King and can send Uncle Sándor packing, I shall go my way and you can go yours!”
As he spoke, he walked across the sitting room and left the room slamming the door behind him.
Zosina put her hands up to her face feeling this could not be true and if it was, then perhaps it was all her fault.
‘How did I manage to upset him? Why did I make him angry?’ she asked herself.
She could feel her hands trembling against her cheeks and knew that her whole body was trembling too.
She found it difficult to think or really to believe that the King had been so rude.
Never in her life had a man, with the exception of her father, spoken to her in a horrible jeering voice that seemed to set her nerves on edge like a squeaking saw.
‘How can I marry anybody like that?’ she thought and felt a sudden panic sweep over her.
It was then the door opened and a servant announced, “His Royal Highness, the Prince Regent, Your Majesty!” Zosina put out her hand to hold onto the window ledge. She could not turn round. She could not face the Regent and yet she knew that having entered the room, he must be staring at her back, in surprise.
Then she heard the door shut and after a moment his voice, quiet and calm, said,
“What has happened? Why are you alone? I saw the King coming away from here.”
Zosina tried to find her voice and failed. Then she was aware that he had crossed the room.
“You are upset,” he said quietly. “I am very sorry if the King has done anything to disturb you.”
He sounded so kind that Zosina felt the tears come into her eyes.
Then, as if she could not prevent the words, she heard herself say,
“He hates me! He is very – angry because you – brought me – h-here!”
She felt that what she had said surprised the Regent.
“I cannot believe the King said that he hates you,” he replied. “What did he actually say?”
“I-I c-cannot repeat it,” Zosina said quickly, “but he resents having – to – marry and he thinks that you chose me because – I would – boss him as he said – M-Mama does Papa.”
The words came out without her really meaning to say them and as she spoke a tear from each eye ran down her cheeks.
She hoped the Regent would not notice and went on staring blindly ahead at the mountains which now she could not see.
The Regent came nearer still and now he was standing at her side looking at her and she felt for some strange reason, that she could not explain, that she must not move, must not even breathe in case he learned too much.
“I am sorry,” he said at length in his deep voice. “Desperately sorry this should have happened and to you of all people.”
“Please – can I go – home? Perhaps you could – find somebody else?”
She was afraid as she spoke the last words and yet she had said them.
“You know that is impossible,” the Regent answered. “Although it seems a hard thing to say, this marriage, because it concerns our two countries, is more important than an individual’s likes or dislikes.”
“The – King does not seem to be – aware of that,” Zosina murmured.
“He must understand it by now,” the Regent said and there was a sharp note in his voice. “The whole situation has been explained to him over and over again.”
“He wants to be – free.”
“Which is something he certainly would not be under the Emperor Wilhelm.”
“That is – what I told him – but he would not listen.” The Regent sighed.
“I think perhaps he is just being difficult.”
“Surely you could have – allowed him to – find his own wife?” Zosina questioned. “Perhaps he would have – fallen in love with – one of my sisters, if he had come to – Lützelstein.”
The Regent did not reply and after a moment she turned to look at him and their eyes met.
The tears were still on her cheeks, but now she could see more clearly and there was an expression in his eyes she did not understand.
“I am – sorry,” she said after a moment, “but I am a – failure. You can see – I am a – failure.”
“You are nothing of the sort,” the Regent replied. “It is all my fault, but even now I have met you, I am not certain I could have done anything different.”
He saw that Zosina did not understand and after a moment he said,
“I did not expect you to be as you are.”
“Why am I – wrong?”
There was something almost pathetic in the question and the Regent said hastily,
“But you are not wrong! You are right, absolutely right in every way. It is just that this situation is something you should never have been involved in. I cannot understand why I did not realise it – but then, I had never seen you!”
“What did you not – realise?” Zosina asked. “That you would be sensitive, vulnerable and far too intelligent.”
Zosina’s eyes widened.
“H-how do you – know I am – that?”
“You forget we have talked together,” the Regent replied. “Then if you – think I am all – those things – why am I – wrong?”
She thought for a moment he would not answer. Then he said almost abruptly,
“I thought you would be like your mother!”
Zosina drew in her breath.
“The King said that – everybody knew that – Mama ruled Lützelstein and it was a – petticoat Government.” The Regent’s lips tightened.
“He had no right to say such a thing.”
“But it is – what you – think?”
“I have not said so.”
“Is it true? I had no idea. Papa always seems so overpowering to me and my sisters that I imagined he overwhelmed – everybody else in Lützelstein.”
Even as she spoke, it struck Zosina that perhaps the reason why her father was so disagreeable and overbearing to her and her sisters, was that outside the Palace it was his wife who forced him into making the decisions she wanted.
But even now, she could hardly believe that the King had not talked nonsense.
Then she asked herself helplessly how, sitting in the schoolroom, could she possibly know what went on in the Council Chambers and what decisions her father made on the many problems that were brought to the Palace day after day by members of the Government?
For the first time it struck her that her mother always seemed to have an opinion on everything.
Because she and her sisters were frightened of her and of their father they seldom, if ever, voiced an opinion of their own in the presence of their parents.
She thought now that was what the Regent wanted to happen in Dórsia and the King was right.
He had chosen her because he thought she would be strong and determined and would force the King into doing things he did not want to do and against which he was obviously rebellious.
“I cannot do – anything like – that,” she said in a whisper.
She felt as she spoke that the Regent had been following her thought
s and understood exactly what she was saying. “I know that now,” he said. “But it’s too late.”
“Why?”
“Because the Prime Minister and the Cabinet have agreed that you should marry the King. The Councillors, who have met you already, are simply delighted with you. They see you as somebody very beautiful, very compassionate, someone whom the country will love, which is very important.”
“What – about the – King?”
It was difficult to say the words, and yet they were said. “I will make the King behave himself,” the Regent replied and his voice was hard.
“No, no – please!” Zosina cried. “Do not antagonise him! He hates me – he resents me. If he learns I have complained to you, it will only make things – worse.”
“Then what can I do?”
She thought that he felt as helpless as she did.
“It would be – better to do – nothing,” she said. “I will try – really try – to make him trust me – and then perhaps things will be – different.”
She thought as she spoke that the King was almost like a wild animal she had to tame. The first thing she must do was to prevent him shying away at her approach, suspecting that she was trying to capture and imprison him.
Then she remembered that the King was not an animal but a man and she was very ignorant about men.
Every instinct in her body shrank from having anything to do with one who swore and jeered at her. The things the King had said made her wince even to remember them.
Her face must have been very expressive for the Regent said,
“Forgive me, please forgive me for creating this tangle. I see now only too clearly what I have done, but I don’t know how to undo it.”
There was a note of humility in his voice and at the same time a sympathy and compassion that had not been there before.
“There is – nothing you can do,” Zosina said. “I am aware it is – up to me – but please help me and – if you can – give me courage – because I am – afraid.”
Without really realising what she was doing, as she spoke, she put out her hand towards him and he took it in both of his.
“I don’t believe that any woman could be braver or more wonderful!” he said quietly.
CHAPTER FOUR
For what seemed to Zosina a long time she looked into the Regent’s eyes. Then, in a voice that seemed to her to come from a long way away, she whispered,
“Thank – you.”
As she spoke, the door opened and the Queen Mother came back into the sitting room.
She looked in surprise at the Regent as he released Zosina’s hand and asked,
“Where is Gyórgy? I thought he was here.”
“He had an audience which he had forgotten, ma’am,” the Regent replied.
“How like Gyórgy!” the Queen Mother remarked, “but I think that since I last saw him he is much improved. I congratulate you, Sándor. I know how difficult it has been.”
As she finished speaking, she glanced at Zosina in a way that made her sure that her grandmother had forgotten she was in the room.
The Queen Mother then paused and said in a different tone,
“I am sure, dear child, it would be a good idea if you rested before this evening. I want you to look your very best at the State Banquet.”
“I will go and lie down, Grandmama.”
Zosina curtseyed and kissed her grandmother’s cheek. Then she dropped a curtsey to the Regent, feeling as she did so that it was impossible to look at him.
In her bedroom she found a programme of future events left on a secrétaire and knew that it had been put there by one of the aides-de-camp who had been looking after them since they arrived.
It contained, besides the events at which they were to be present, a list of the important people they would meet and their positions.
Zosina picked it up absent-mindedly, because her thoughts were elsewhere.
When she glanced down to see at what time she had to be ready tonight for the State Banquet, she read,
“11.30. a.m. H.M. Queen Szófia and H.R.H. Princess Zosina to inspect the Convent of the Sacred Heart.
2.30. p.m. H.M. Queen Szófia to open the new Botanical Gardens.
7.00. p.m. H.M. The King, H.M. Queen Szófia, H.R.H. Princess Zosina, H.R.H. The Prince Regent, will dine with the Members of the Order of St. Miklos.”
These she knew were all the Royalty of Dórsia. Then an entry for the next and last day made her draw in her breath.
“11.00. a.m. Reception by the Prime Minister in the House of Parliament where all the Members will be assembled. On this occasion the King’s impending marriage will be announced.”
Zosina put down the programme and walked across her bedroom to sit down on the stool in front of the dressing table.
For a moment she saw her reflection, not with her hair elegantly and fashionably arranged, but with a glittering crown on her head.
This was why she had come to Dórsia, this would be her future.
She gave a little cry and put her hands up to her eyes.
How could she endure it? Not being Queen of such a charming and friendly people, but being the King’s wife.
She felt as if it was a trap from which there was no escape – her thoughts were going round and round as if they were like a squirrel in a cage, which knew there was no way out and she would go on turning and turning until she died.
Then, almost as if he was again standing beside her, she could hear the Regent say,
“I don’t believe that any woman could be more brave or more wonderful!”
‘That is what I have to be,’ she told herself and quickly looked away from the mirror in case she should see the crown again.
*
The State Banquet was certainly impressive.
In the Banqueting Hall of the Palace over three hundred guests sat down to a very elaborate dinner with eight courses and appropriate wines for each one.
It would be impossible, Zosina thought, for anyone to look more magnificent or more regal than her grandmother.
Wearing some of the Lützelstein Crown Jewels, which she had brought with her especially for the occasion, her gown glittering with diamante and with five ropes of huge diamonds round her neck, she looked like every woman’s ideal of a Queen.
In contrast Zosina felt that she must pale into insignificance.
Her gown instead of being white, which she knew was being kept for her wedding, was the second most elaborate one in her trousseau.
Of very pale blue, the colour of the morning sky, it had a tulle train which frothed out behind her like the waves of the sea and tulle encircled her shoulders accentuating the whiteness of her skin and making her eyes seem unnaturally large in her small face.
As a concession to her impending marriage, the Grand-Duchess had lent her one of the small tiaras which had always been considered too unimportant for her to wear herself.
It was in fact, a wreath of flowers fashioned in diamonds and turquoises and, as it glittered and shimmered under the huge crystal chandeliers, it made Zosina, although she was not aware of it, look like the Goddess of Spring.
There was a necklace of diamonds and turquoises to match and bracelets for her wrists.
When she was dressed, she wished that her sisters could see her, especially Katalin.
Katalin had had a great many amusing things to say about her gowns before she left Lützelstein.
“You will look exactly like the Prima Donna in an opera!” she had exclaimed, “except of course, you have not a large enough bosom to be a singer! But doubtless the King will be bowled over by your beauty the moment he sees you.”
‘Well, that at least is something that will not happen!’ Zosina thought now.
She hoped, however, that the Regent would think she was appropriately dressed for the part she had to play and perhaps if she tried very hard she could at least charm the King into being polite to her.
In a way she could understand ho
w he resented being under the authority of his uncle. After all he was the King and to have someone else, however pleasant, ruling for him must be frustrating.
She thought of how her mother had always insisted that they should take no part in any of the celebrations that took place in Lützelstein, except for those which involved their going to a special Church Service or standing on a balcony to watch a procession pass beneath them.
Now that the idea had been put into her head that her mother was bossy, Zosina began to remember dozens of occasions when her mother had overruled her father’s wishes or forbidden them some treat that he would have given them only too willingly.
‘A petticoat government!’ she whispered to herself and wondered how she could make the King understand that she had no wish to boss anyone around, least of all him.
‘I want to get to know the people,’ she thought, ‘and, as the Regent said, for them to love me.’
It was in fact a terrifying thought that those who had brought her to Dórsia had done so because they had thought she would keep the King in order and influence him from behind the throne.
It made Zosina feel almost panic-stricken to think that the plan was that anything that happened in the country would be done at her instigation or because she could influence the King into the right way of thinking.
‘I am quite certain of one thing,’ she told herself. ‘Whatever I suggest, he will do the opposite, just out of spite.’
Then she told herself that was not how Katalin would tackle the problem.
‘I have to will him into listening to me,’ she reflected.
She wondered if Katalin’s idea of willing for what one wanted could ever really be a possibility in ordinary everyday life.
Then she remembered how positive Katalin had been that it would work.
‘First I must will him into believing that I am not dangerous or obstructive,’ Zosina reasoned, ‘but sympathetic and understanding.’
Then she knew that, as far as she was concerned, it would be a question of praying rather than willing the King to do anything.
‘God will help me,’ she whispered to herself.
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