by Lexie James
And if there wasn’t another man, and he knew that she had been a virgin that night, then, he felt a sinking twisting feeling in his stomach, that meant she had only slept with one man, him. That meant that those children were his, as well as hers.
He had accused her of being a slut for having born another man’s children, when in fact he had sired those children.
He had failed her that morning, by staying with his mates. Then, to compound it all last night, he’d gone in with all guns blazing and accused her of having a lover because she had children. Yet all the while that lover was actually him! He had called her a slut because of them, and she had steadfastly refused to tell him, that he was, actually, their father.
Why had she stayed silent on that fact? Why had she done that? He couldn’t work that one out. Maybe it was the key to helping him understand why she had never told him about her pregnancy. He hardly recognised his own voice, so cracked as it was with emotion, as he questioned his godmother.
“Why didn’t she get in touch with the boy and tell him he was about to become a father?”
Sophia recognised the pain in his voice, but she managed to remain immune to the emotion she heard, in order to ensure he was aware of all the facts. “She’s very proud, she thought if he truly wanted her, he would come after her. But as the weeks became months, and he never called her she eventually gave up on that hope, She became more and more distant and more determined that he would have no place in their lives.”
“Did she never think that he might have tried to find her, but couldn’t find any trace of her? She knew his name, why on earth didn’t she try to contact him?” He asked angrily, all the while remembering how he had searched for her surname, going through phone directory after phone directory to no avail. How he had tracked down her friends, only to be told no one knew where she was, and even if they did they wouldn’t tell him, not after what he had done.
Sophia smiled at him knowingly. “When he didn’t get in touch, she was sure he didn’t want her, she therefore assumed, wrongly I feel, that he wouldn’t want their children either. Maybe it just never occurred to her that he couldn’t find her.”
Christos’s mind was reeling, as he considered the real reason why she thought he didn’t want her. She had heard his mates congratulating him for sleeping with her, that was why she had run away, and that was why she wouldn’t have tried to contact him. But once they were born, if nothing else, hadn’t she needed money?
Then his mind wandered back to an argument they had had years ago, after he had taken her to see Medea. She had said then, that she believed the better way to punish Jason for his betrayal of her love was not to have killed the children but to have spirited them away. Never allowing him to see them again and teaching them what a bastard their father was. She had said to him ‘when you betray someone’s love you betray their trust; trust can never be repaired; nothing can survive once love is betrayed.’
With a sinking heart he realised why she hadn’t tried to contact him. He also knew there would be no compromise in her mind; no turning back to what they had once had. Was she punishing him? Or protecting the children from what she thought would be his rejection of them. He wasn’t quite sure, but he knew he had to find out. When he considered what had happened twelve years ago, he appreciated that it would seem to her that he had betrayed her love and trust. Then he thought to what he had said last night and it hit him that he had hammered down every nail on his coffin and more, burying himself inside it, ten feet down or more.
He knew he deserved every ounce of her anger, and he’d never done anything to deserve her love and trust.
And yet, his very soul cried out with its pain, she doesn’t understand, she doesn’t know how I really feel about her, how it was despair that made me lash out at her so angrily. Despair that, due to my stupid actions, I had lost her.
Somehow he knew he had to find a way to prove to her that his life’s happiness depended on them being together. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her moving around the dining room, working quietly and taking little notice of anyone around her. He could see how tired she looked; he could see the circles under her eyes, and he knew it was his words and actions that had caused them.
He felt sick with shame, shame that he had taken so much from her all those years ago. Despite what he had done to her she had somehow found the strength to pick herself up and get on with her life. Now here he was, determined to disrupt the fragile peace she had created for herself.
But you’re not happy are you? He thought, as he watched her tenderly. I know you need me in your life, you just don’t realise it yet, and you’re going to be so bloody stubborn about admitting it. That’s going to be part of my penance he reasoned, breaking your walls down and fighting your stubbornness.
But I will do it, he silently vowed to himself because you are, so worth it.
Sophia watched him, as he watched her. “She always looks like that during this weekend. By the time she’s up on that stage tonight, she will be ready to burst.”
The others looked expectantly at Sophia, waiting for her to expand on her remark. “The local choir give a concert this evening before the fireworks, Emme and the children always sing with them.”
Christos’s emotions were so jumbled and raw; he felt he couldn’t listen to any more of his godmother’s revelations. Glancing up he saw Patrick watching him thoughtfully, and decided to go and discuss with him the jobs he wanted help with. It seemed a hundreds time more welcome than sitting passively by, and hearing what a thoughtless, uncaring bastard he had been.
Standing up, he pushed his chair in firmly. “If you will all excuse me, I believe my presence is required elsewhere.”
He walked swiftly over to Patrick and asked what was required of him.
All three women turned to see where he was going, and then turned back to the table.
“Sophia you were magnificent, I can’t believe you managed to keep your voice so calm.” Adrienne told her admiringly.
Sophia looked pleased as punch with herself. “Well thank you both, because I needed you both to join in too with questions, otherwise my conversation would have sounded rather one sided. I needed to be sure he understood the story from her point of view.”
Maria beamed. “At least he now knows they are his children. That’s another step in the right direction. Sophia, do you think I could, I mean, how do you think Emme would take it if I spoke to the chil.., to my grandchildren. Would she try and stop me? Would she hate me because of what he’s done? They are my grandchildren, yet I never held them as babies, or heard their first words, or watched them play, or picked them up when they cried...”
Maria’s voice trailed off as she tried to stem the tears that were threatening to fall.
Sophia touched her hand sympathetically. “I honestly don’t know, last night she veered between anger and tears, this morning she looks like she hasn’t slept at all. She knows you know about the children, but she is so determined to keep them from him, that I honestly can’t decide how she will react. If you are with me, then speaking to the children would be perfectly normal because they come to me all the time. However, I am also sure that she will be scared to death you might inadvertently tell them that you are their grandmother. That would open a can of worms for her that I feel she is too fragile to cope with this weekend.”
Sophia suddenly realised that Patrick was looking at them with a very knowing look on his face.
“You know I don’t think Christos is the only one who’s finally put two and two together; I believe Patrick may just have worked it out too. Last night he went off to speak to Christos, after Emme laid into him. I must admit, I was pleased to see Christos in one piece this morning, I remember Patrick’s anger the day she told us she was pregnant, and Patrick doesn’t forgive easily either. Yet from the look of the two of them, they seem to be getting on amicably. I believe Patrick may be trying to encourage Christos. Now all that Christos has to do is to convince Emme t
hat he truly loves her.”
“Do you think he will be able to do?” Adrienne asked pensively.
“It all depends on how good a mountaineer he is. Personally, I believe Emme is going to make it as difficult for him as she possible can!” Sophia dryly answered her.
The worried look on the other two faces of her compatriots mirrored the concern etched on hers, they all knew he had an upward battle on his hands.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
From the moment he approached Patrick and told him he was prepared to help, Patrick had him running all over the place. He found himself swallowing a smile as he realised how relaxing it was to work so physically hard. The constant manipulations involved in his business at boardroom level regularly left him feeling irritable and short-tempered yet today’s activities were leaving him feeling pleasantly content. It’s rather ironic, he thought, that I would never get involved at this level while working in my own business yet, here I am running around doing anything and everything that I possibly can do to help others.
Erecting some of the stalls gave him plenty of opportunities to work with Michael, as together they held up planks of wood and hammered them in to their places. Gradually the stalls took shape and Christos felt strangely proud of his achievements though he was very aware, and felt it rather ironic, that it was his son who was telling him how to do it. He wondered if anyone else saw the role reversal but then realised that he was the only one who so far knew that Michael was his son.
Apart that was, from Lindy, Emme; his eyes scoured the garden but she was nowhere in sight. So she couldn’t even see what he was doing. He had to keep remembering that he needed to call her Emme from now on, after all these years of calling her Lindy it was going to be hard. With a stifled sigh he concentrated on Michael’s instructions and as he smiled his thanks Christos enfolded each and everyone one of them into his heart.
Chrissie followed on with the women, decorating and titivating the stalls. Michael told him, laughingly, that the men did all the hard work, Chrissie interrupted to tell Christos that the men could only be trusted with the construction work, it needed the women to do the artistic stuff. Christos was just thinking how mature they both were when he saw Michael stick his tongue out at Chrissie, possibly not that mature then! A few times he had rushed over to steady the ladder that Chrissie was standing on, much to her annoyance.
“I’m fine, thank you very much, I’m not such a ninny that I don’t know how to put up a ladder safely.” She informed him imperiously.
Duly chastised, he walked away trying not to laugh, she was so like her mother. It was then that he noticed Emme and was aware that concern was etched all over her face as she saw how closely he was interacting with the children. He pretended not to have seen, increasingly unsure how to broach the subject that he now knew who their father was.
He noticed that Patrick was watching the interaction between the children and himself, Christos began to sense that possibly Patrick had more understanding of the situation between himself and Emme than he was letting on, yet, if he did he said nothing simply smiling whenever they caught each other’s eye.
In the cold light of day Christos had reviewed the events of yesterday evening, and then the startling revelations that this morning had brought. For someone who prided himself in behaving impeccably, apart from his dealings with his mother, he found it impossible to either rationalise his actions or explain them away. In the end he decided to give up trying, his behaviour had been beyond atrocious, and he had the feeling that to make amends would take him forever; if she would only let him try.
A lifetime of loving, a warm glow went through him, one he hadn’t felt for years. He could manage that, but what would she think of it? Who would be harder to convince of his sincerity? Emme, Michael, or Chrissie. He had the feeling that Michael would accept him more readily, then he swallowed convulsively, I’m being stupid, he castigated himself, who the hell am I trying to fool. He knew it was going to be an almost impossible task to win them over but to fail, well, that just didn’t bear contemplating.
From thinking last night that Chrissie and Michael were someone else’s children to the realisation, this morning, that they were his children Christos found it hard to rationalise the feeling of pride he felt whenever he looked at them. He found himself feeling strangely protective of them, and kept checking to see that they were both coping with their allotted tasks. He saw Chrissie smiling up at a young lad that was helping her, and Christos was knocked sideways by the surge of emotion that surged through him as the young man hugged her. He had to work hard at controlling his desire to rush over and yank them apart. If any man hurt her the way he had hurt her mother he would kill them; he stood stock still as that realisation hit him straight between his eyes.
With a certainty he knew Patrick knew who he was, yet he hadn’t done anything. Why? His eyes narrowed as he looked around for Patrick instead they alighted on Emme. He had seen her rarely this morning, she was always moving quickly in the opposite direction to wherever he was and it gradually began to dawn on him that she was deliberately keeping a distance between them. Every time Patrick sent him to do a job that was near her she would glance at him, then turn her back and remove herself from his proximity.
Once he realised what she was doing, he became more and more amused by it; mentally timing how long it would be before she moved away.
Patrick however was most definitely not amused; in fact he was getting more and more annoyed with his daughter, as he watched how she was behaving every time he sent Christos over to do a job near her. He sent Christos to help set up the chairs with Emme, he was so sure she couldn’t move away, because there was so much to do, but then again he should have known his daughter. In furious disbelief, he saw her grab a chair from Christos and glare at him, before planting herself between the children and him. He could see the way that Christos looked at her, yet she seemed impervious to it.
This is absolutely ridiculous he thought, here am I doing everything that I can possibly can do to put them both together and get them to talk, yet it is all for nothing if she refuses to play ball. He racked his brains then, checking his watch, he realised that there was a simpler solution.
“We’ll break for lunch now.” He told Christos, as he walked over to him, where he was waiting patiently to be told what else he had to do. “We have a buffet lunch over there under the trees, perhaps you might like to join me and we can have a nice little chat. You can tell me all about that glorious mother of yours.”
Christos looked confused.
“Your mother, you know, Adrienne.” Patrick prompted him. “I was rather hoping I might get to dance with her tonight, if you wouldn’t object to an old man asking her.”
“Right yes, my mother.” He saw Emme gather up the children and shepherd them over to the lunch table. “Would you be going to sit with your daughter and her children?”
“I might indeed. But I think we’ll wait until they are settled and eating before we join them, then she can’t run away from you, like she’s been doing all morning. Do you think that’s a good idea?”
Christos looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “Are you trying to bring us together?”
Patrick paused, looking at him speculatively, before he spoke very quietly, so that no-one else could over hear. “Well now I believe that event already happened twelve years ago, didn’t it? So now I’m on my way to seeing if we could make that one time togetherness a more permanent situation.”
Christos’s lips twitched with amusement as he tenderly looked at Emme. “I believe it is going to be an uphill struggle to achieve.”
Narrowing his eyes against the sunlight, he checked to see if Emme and the children were settled on the grass and eating, then he turned to clasp Patrick’s hands firmly.
“Thank you for not shooting me, I look at Chrissie and I think what I would do to anyone who hurt her and I’ve only just met her, I don’t even know her yet. Adrienne’s not my mother, but I think
you already knew that. She is, however an incredibly loyal personal assistant, who has been looking for my lost love more diligently than I ever have. I believe I owe her an enormous debt of gratitude for ensuring I came here.”
Patrick half smiled at him, as he also checked out what Emme and the children were doing. “Right let’s go and join them quickly while they’re still eating. By the way, don’t thank me for not shooting you just yet; you’ve still got to win the fair maiden, and then marry her. If you don’t do that, then I will shoot you. Or, there are always the fireworks, I am quite serious when I tell you that I’m not safe to be left alone with them.”
Christos looked quizzically at Patrick, from his demeanour he could not quite work out if he really meant what he had said.
Patrick grinned. “You’re wondering if I mean everything that I have said. Well I have a temper that my forefathers blessed me with and I’m telling you now, you never want to see it. Where do you think my daughter gets her tongue from? So I suggest that you sort out this problem, to my entire satisfaction. I’ll give you some time to achieve that, let’s say, till the end of the weekend; I’ll not set upon you with the fireworks, just yet.”
Christos continued to eye him warily, Patrick grinned and slapped him on the back, and Christos was surprised by the innate strength of such a wiry man.
“Come on, grab a plate, or they will have already eaten, and my machinations will all have been for nothing.”
Collecting plates of food, both men went and sat down beside Emme and the children. Emme’s eyes flashed angrily at both of them.
Both men studiously ignored her.
“Granddad, should I come and help you set up the fireworks?” Michael asked enthusiastically. “Chrissie and I have had some brilliant ideas for layouts, that is, if you’re interested.”
Patrick was pouring himself a drink, and took a moment to answer.