by Lexie James
Scathingly she retorted. “Really? Well what a surprise! I mean for goodness sake, how stupid can you be? They are our children, but first and foremost we are their parents and for at least the next five or six years we will want them to be able to respect us and listen to any advice we give them. If we tell them the truth about how we behaved how can we expect them to give us any respect, let alone listen to any advice we give them?”
Exasperated he retorted. “Okay I get the point, so we don’t tell them the truth. But what then do you suggest we do tell them to explain our relationship, how they were conceived and why it has taken us this long to finally get together?”
“I don’t know.” She replied miserably.
By the time they had parked and were walking back into the hospital they were still no nearer to a satisfactory answer to their problem. In silence they entered the lift. As they reached the children’s floor, Christos made a decision.
“We’ll wing it.” He told her as he walked out in front of her.
She followed behind muttering in disbelief.
“We’ll wing it? We’ll wing it he says, which one of your brain cells thought that was a good idea? Let’s face it if our lives depended on decisions like that we’d be facing the firing squad right now. Which, by the way, I can guarantee you is about to happen, when we face our children with stupid, lame excuses.”
She continued to mutter in that manner all the way along the corridor, he continued, all the way along the corridor to studiously ignore her.
Chrissie and Michael were still engrossed in their computer game when they reached her room. Christos held the door open for Emme as she walked in and she was rather touched by the old fashioned courtesy, not that she had any intention of letting him know that little fact.
“Any signs that they know you are here?” Emme asked Maria, while stooping to give Sophia a kiss.
Maria looked disappointed and after a second’s hesitation Emme moved to her side and rather self-consciously planted a kiss on her cheek too.
Her action was noted by both her children.
Maria smiled at her gratefully. “Only when they’ve wanted us to organise some food for them.”
“No change there then.” Emme told her wryly.
Christos watched the interplay between his mother and Emme with pride for her actions; he also noted how both children had seen it but were pretending that they hadn’t.
“Aunt Sophia, Mama, if you wouldn’t mind giving us some private time, Emme and I would like to speak to our children.”
He held the door open politely waiting while they rose reluctantly and left the room.
Turning to Michael and Chrissie he spoke to them seriously.
“If it’s not too much trouble to you both, your mother and I would appreciate a few moments of your time.” They both glanced up but the game could be heard continuing without them. “If you wouldn’t mind turning that of, I for one, would appreciate it.”
Michael pulled a face but turned the game off but then proceeded to speak before Christos could open his mouth.
“Listen, Chrissie has told me what you both said when you thought she was asleep. How Mum ran away from you, and you let her and then didn’t try hard enough to find her. It wasn’t how Mum told us at all, you didn’t both decide you didn’t love each other and Mum never told you about us. But you’re sorry now especially about the fact that you didn’t try hard enough to find her, oh, and you love Mum. So there you are we know it all.”
“Not quite all,” Christos began, but Emme laid a restraining hand on his arm.
“How do you feel about all that? Emme asked them both.
It was Chrissie who replied cuttingly. “Well let me think? How do we feel about you lying to us? How do you think we feel? Or was it just one of those situations when you had to lie to us because you thought you could justify it by pretending that you were protecting us from the truth? So which of those do you want us to reply to? How do we feel about you lying? Or how do we feel about you not telling our father that we existed?”
Emme’s eloquent glare at Christos’s stated categorically that ‘I told you so!
“Chrissie,” Michael’s voice warned her. “We agreed.” Chrissie glared at him resentfully. “Don’t mind her, she’s just miffed about the lies, she hates lies.”
Trying to remain calm and in control, even though she knew her children were probably going to shoot her down she asked them again.
“How do you feel about everything now that you know? Presumably you will tell us in your own sweet time, there’s no rush.”
She paused and finally realised what Michael had said, fixing him with what she hoped was a forbidding look she demanded to know.
“Wait a minute what have you both agreed to? I am sure you will recognise that as your mother I have the right to be in on any and all of your secrets until I deem you old enough to stand on your own two feet. Then and only then can you keep secrets from me.”
Chrissie looked at her with derision.
“Oh, so it’s okay for you to have secrets and not share them with us, but we are too young to do that!”
She closed her eyes and slumped down on the pillow looking for the entire world as if she was exhausted and in pain. If for one moment Emme had truly believed that she would have interceded and put this discussion off until Chrissie was home again. But she didn’t believe it; in fact she was quite sure that Chrissie was milking the accident for all it was worth.
She knew Christos wanted to deal with the subject now and difficult as it was, she knew he was right. The sooner it was dealt with, the better it would be for all of them.
After glancing at his sister for some support Michael began to speak, his voice croaky at times because his voice had just started to break.
“Chrissie and I discussed everything she had heard with Sophia and our Nonna. Then we decided that we really didn’t need to know anymore. You’re our Mum and you are our Dad. Together you have decided finally that you love each other. So what happens now?”
Michael paused and looked uncertainly from Christos to Emme.
Christos walked across the room and enveloped him in a hug. “What happens now? We live together as a family if you two agree and can live with that?”
Michael grinned. ”Great! That’s two people to help us with our homework and two cars to run us around and you can’t moan like Granddad does ‘cause you’re our parents and it’s your duty! Especially, as, up until now you’ve majorly failed us in the parent stakes!” He grinned smugly. “We’ll have no problems doing anything we want; you’ll have to indulge us all the time to make up for this. We’ll be the envy of all our schoolmates.”
“Mind you there are to be no more lies!” Chrissie interrupted, “Of course once they realise we have two parents actually living with us, they may just ostracise us.”
“That’s true, I hadn’t thought of that.” Michael added. “And once they realise you are both our fully fledged parents, and not step parents, well, we’ll never live that one down.”
Their faces were a picture of horror.
Emme started to laugh, a little titter at first, then, as the humour of the situation took hold of her she laughed till she was holding her sides and tears were running down her face. First Michael, then Chrissie joined in, Christos looked at them totally perplexed.
Gradually Emme calmed enough to gasp at him. “They’re kidding, most of their friends have two sets of parents,” She giggled again with relief. “It’s their way of telling us they don’t want to know everything, they’re happy with the situation as it is.”
He still looked perplexed and more in accord with him then she had been for the last few hours she spontaneously hugged him, holding him tight. “Trust me, they are fine, they don’t want to know it all, leave it alone.”
Michael and Chrissie’s laughter faded as they watched their mother hug their father. He could see the wariness in their eyes because he wasn’t hugging her back, finall
y he grinned, and he hugged her as tightly as she was hugging him.
Finally Chrissie smiled sweetly at them but Michael simply whooped with delight.
CHAPTER TWENTYEIGHT
“Christos this is absolutely ridiculous, it just doesn’t seem right, and it is absolutely and categorically not what we agreed upon. You’ve only just arrived; you haven’t even had time to unpack your belongings. And this is the first weekend that we could have spent together as a family gradually getting to know each other again and letting the children get used to you. Now you’re wasting this precious time taking me to God’s know where and leaving our children, alone all weekend, with their grandparents!”
Emme stared out of the window, disgruntled at the high handed way Christos had first of all decided that they were going away alone for some quality time, and then had manhandled her objections. Her stomach was doing loop the loops at the thought of being alone with him again after all this time, she couldn’t decide if she hoped he’d booked separate rooms or a double room; either way she was worried.
“I know,” He chortled sympathetically. “Our poor children, how on earth will they cope, being spoilt rotten all weekend, after all, there are only so many treats that can be fitted into one single solitary weekend aren’t there?”
She stifled a giggle, just, and turned to continue her contemplation of the countryside. Christos saw what she was doing, but decided not to comment. He knew she had been annoyed with him for spiriting her away, but he was determined to start the beginning of their new life in the right way.
And the children, wonderful as they were, would get in the way of what he planned.
“Where are we going?” She asked curiously having paid no attention to the journey as she had been wrapped in thoughts of what the night might bring. As the car reached the brow of the hill, and began to descend into the valley she looked around and recognised the castle in the distance over to the right.
“Arundel I don’t believe it.” She exclaimed. “I haven’t been here for years, and I do love it. We used to come here when I was a child, we’d bring a picnic and sit in Swanbourne Lake and afterwards my father would row us around the lake and Mum and I would look for the water fairies. Do you know there’s a really deep hole in the lake over on the far side hidden under the trees, Mum used to tell me such fantastical stories of the people who lived at the bottom of that watery wilderness.”
She sat dreamily remembering forgotten happy days. Christos silently thanked Patrick for his suggestion. Once over the bridge he turned right and parked on the road outside the castle walls. As he climbed out collecting their cases she stayed where she was, still lost in her daydreams.
He poked his head back through the door. “Come on, the sun is shining, we’ve loads to see. We’ll get booked into the hotel and then go exploring.”
He picked up their cases and led her back to the bridge where, on the other side of the road was a quaint looking hotel one side of the building overlooking the river, the other half facing the road that led to Swanbourne Lake.
He caught her smile as she crossed the road. “Do you like it?”
She was still smiling as she replied. “I do.”
The room was beautifully, old fashioned, tastefully decorated in nautical blues. The bed was enormous, perfect for his plans and Christos was congratulating himself, when he caught sight of Emme looking worried. Pretending he hadn’t seen the look, he busied himself with unpacking and discussed the rest of the day.
“I thought we might peruse the antique shops this morning then have some lunch and if the weather holds fine how about I row you about the lake, and you can show me where the fairies used to live.”
She turned to him, her face a picture of happiness. “Would you? Somehow the thought of being here and not going for a row on the lake, seems sacrilegious.”
He nodded and she thanked him sweetly. He held the door open for her, and she walked out. Still not quite there, he thought, once there was a time when she would have flung herself into my arms to thank me, and that was when we were only friends; such is my penance.
She was as fascinated as he was by the antique shops but rarely tempted to buy anything, and stopped him from making a few purchases. She whispered in his ear that a bargain was only a bargain if he really wanted it, which put him of buying anything. Until, that was, they got to the book shop. Squashed between two shops, it seemed to go both backwards and upwards and from floor to ceiling every square inch was crammed with books.
“There is nothing like the smell of old books, is there.” She told him reverently. “The smell just invokes the feelings of mystery and knowledge.”
Trailing in her footsteps, Christos found himself quite unable to be as enthusiastic. He preferred books that were clean and untouched. He shuddered as he imagined how many faces had coughed and drooled over these books. By now she had reached the children’s section and was intently scanning the hard back books, suddenly she stilled and reverently removed a faded, battered, large green book from the shelf.
“I don’t believe it; I’ve been looking for this book for years.” She raised shining eyes to him.” My father read it to me as a child, he had borrowed it from someone but he could never remember who and I always wanted to read it to my children. Now here it is. ‘Giantland, The wonderful adventures of Tim Pippin’. I looked for it on line and it was ridiculously expensive.”
“Let me see how much this is then. £120 pounds! You’ve got to be kidding, for a second hand book.” He gaped at her.
“Honestly that’s cheap. I’ve seen it for as much as £180.” She ran her fingers over the pages turning to one of the illustrations. “See, no-one draws like this anymore. And this book’s in wonderful condition.”
Resignedly he looked at the moth eaten book that she was holding so carefully, taking it from her hands he told her. “Is that so? Well I’d hate to see what a book in bad condition looked like then. Oh come on I’m hungry and I can’t afford for you to find any more books you must have. Look on it as my first present for our children.”
Taking it from her he read a sentence, raising his eyes to her quizzically he queried. “You don’t think they might be a little too old for this now?”
Chortling she took his arm. “Trust me, they will love it.”
He loved her holding his arm so it looked as if everybody won.
The afternoon was spent pleasantly rowing the boat around the lake but no matter how much they searched they couldn’t find the deep area in the lake she remembered as a child. Holding his arm as they walked back to the hotel she regaled him with stories of the fantastical tales she had grown up with as a child but as they came nearer to the hotel her enthusiasm for story telling seemed to diminish and she became quieter and quieter.
By the time they sat down to eat that the evening, she had become a bundle of nerves and only spoke when he asked her a question, frequently replying with no more than one word. Frantically he searched for innocuous topics to try and ease the tension he felt building but to no avail, and by the time they climbed the stairs to their room he despaired of ever putting her at her ease.
For the life of him he couldn’t work out what had happened to upset her when earlier it had all begun to feel so perfect. He held the door open for her to walk in first and saw her shiver slightly as she stopped in the centre of the room.
Talking to her back he asked her gently, “Would you like to change in the bathroom?”
She jumped at the chance, moving around him quickly without quite meeting his eyes. Finally she came out of the bathroom; her arms clutched around her body, her head down with her hair falling forward so that she could peek at him from under her eyelashes without him seeing.
He was standing looking out of the window wearing pyjamas bottoms, his chest naked; she felt a hot flush course through her body, and just as suddenly she realised how much she loved him and how vulnerable that made her, how easily he could crush her heart again. Panic began to seep throu
gh her and to try and combat it she looked instead at what he had changed into. Striped pyjamas, he’s wearing striped blue pyjamas, what are we she thought our grandparents?
Focussing on that thought worked for a moment until, as her eyes roamed the room again, they focussed on the bed. And with each passing moment, she became more afraid of the final step she was about to take. Attempting to delay the inevitable, she wandered over to the coffee table and idly leafed through the leaflets extolling the attractions of the area.
Christos had turned as soon as he became aware of her presence back in the room, now he watched her tenderly, but with growing exasperation. All evening she had hardly talked to him, and now she wouldn’t even look at him. Silently he padded across the room, coming up behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. As he did so he felt her immediately stiffen.
“What is it, what’s the matter?” He murmured, his mouth so close to her ear that she could feel the warmth of his breath, tantalising her neck. She shrugged, refusing to speak, and continued to pretend to be absorbed in the leaflets she was reading. Very gently he began to massage the tension in her shoulders, though his fingers itched to reach round and gather her to him. He felt a tremble begin to shudder through her.
Turning her round gently, he placed his hand under her chin so that he could look into her face but she stubbornly refused to look at him. As he watched he saw a single tear, course down her cheek unheeded and he began to panic.
“What is it? Why are you crying? Emme, tell me please, you’re beginning to scare me.”
Finally, she lifted her tear soaked eyes to him and admitted. “I’m scared, it’s been so very long and I’m so afraid of getting hurt all over again.”
Relieved he pulled her against him, his hands rhythmically rubbing her back, gentling her fears as he rained soft kisses on to her sweetly scented hair.
Huskily he told. “I swear to you, on my life, no, on the lives of our children, that I will never willing do anything to hurt you ever again.”