by Hamel, B. B.
I was almost lucky.
Except I still had a mystery to solve. The next day, I got into work early, did my rounds, then found Fiona sitting behind her nurses’ station, idly staring at the monitor like she could barely believe her horrible luck. I leaned over and caught her attention.
She sat up straight and stared at me. “Dr. Coarse,” she said, keeping a straight face.
“Nurse Fiona.” I grinned and cocked my head. “How’s your shift going?”
“Just fine.” She glanced at the nurse sitting beside her, an older woman named Mary, then back at me. “Can I do something for you?”
Mary was studiously ignoring us, while really listening to every single word. That woman was just about the nosiest person in the entire hospital.
“Need help getting a line in,” I said. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
That would do the rounds soon enough: hotshot doctor asks nurse for help with a simple procedure. I couldn’t wait to hear the comments and get the dirty looks, but it’d be worth it if nobody would suspect anything. Better to hide in plain sight than to try and sneak around.
Fiona seemed to understand what I was doing and stood. “I guess I have a minute,” she said. “Although you should be able to do this on your own.”
“Thank you,” I said, and walked off with her hot on my heels.
I took her down a side hall and into a quiet, abandoned section. I stepped into a dark patient room and walked into the empty space where a bed should’ve been. Sunlight slanted in sideways through the window and I looked at the marked white wall, at the plugs where monitors would be placed, and I wondered how many people had come and gone through these walls, how many tragedies and victories this room had seen. Every single room had a story in Mercy, just like in every other hospital, and I was interested in them all.
“You know you’ll pay for that one later, right?” Fiona frowned at me as she slid the door shut behind her.
“I’m aware. But I figure it’s better if people gossip about how I can’t put in a line without your help. Maybe then they won’t notice if we’re spending a lot of time together.”
She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head back. “What makes you think we’ll spend any time together at all?”
“Because you want to get to the bottom of what we heard as much as I do.”
She was quiet for a second. I could see her doing the math in her head, trying to decide if it was worth getting involved in all this, or if she should pass it off to me and move on with her life. Except I knew that wasn’t a problem at all, not for someone like her. She couldn’t walk away from this any more than I could.
“How do you think we’re going to do that?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“That’s real helpful.”
I laughed. “You told me not to plan.”
“And you listened?” She paced across the room, toward the window, and back to the door. I watched her curiously, wondering if she always paced when she was agitated.
“I’m not stupid enough to ignore a direct order.”
She snorted. “Come on, let’s not play that game.”
“What game?”
“The whole, oh, nurses are so important bullshit. We all know what you doctors think.” She stared at me and I saw the unbridled annoyance in her expression.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “That’s not exactly fair.”
“Didn’t say it was.”
“Look, not all of us think nurses are useless, you know.”
“And yet you admit that some of you do?”
I threw up my hands. “Of course. There are plenty of doctors in this place that are total fucking assholes. And let me remind you that there are plenty of nurses that are inept morons, too.”
“Plenty of moron doctors.” She crossed her arms defiantly.
“I totally agree. So let’s settle this right now. Doctors are assholes and morons, and nurses are also assholes and morons. Maybe now we can set aside our tribal differences and move on?”
She let out a breath. “Fine, all right, maybe that wasn’t fair.”
“No, it wasn’t, but I get it. Nothing’s easy in this place, but let’s pretend like we’re on the same team, shall we?”
“Fine.” She leaned up against the wall and took a deep breath. “Tell me again what you heard before I showed up.”
I gave her a quick recap of the events: going into the closet to get the masks, hearing Maria’s voice echo down the hall, and catching a snippet of conversation that caught my attention. From there, I heard her mention the boss again, and writing a check, and a bag full of cash, then Fiona showed up.
“I have no clue what their game is, or who the boss is, or anything like that.”
“It seems so strange. How could she move that much money around and nobody notice?”
“That’s what I want to find out.”
Fiona grunted and walked toward the door, peering out like we might get caught. “Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll work on this with you, but we’re partners. You’re not making all the decisions, and I’m not going to do all the dirty work.”
“Understood.” I grinned at her, head tilted. “So you’re Sherlock, and I’m Watson.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“Except I’m Watson from the books. You know, a badass investigator.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Lighten up. This is going to be fun.”
“You know, weirdly enough, uncovering fraud in my place of business isn’t exactly my idea of fun.”
“You must be really boring then.”
She gave me another one of those beautiful, angry stares. I had a feeling I was going to see a lot of them.
“And another rule. We’re not making this personal. This is all about finding out what Maria’s up to and making sure she goes down for it.”
“Right, nothing personal. So I guess you don’t want to go out for drinks after work then?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Right, okay, shouldn’t have asked.”
She shook her head. “Come on. Don’t you have some other nurse you can drag around for fun?”
“That’s not really my game, you know.”
She snorted. “That’s not what I heard.”
I crossed my arms and watched her carefully. “And what did you hear?”
She looked at me for a second then shook her head. “Nothing. Never mind. Forget it.”
“Fiona.”
She walked to the door and pushed it open. “Think about what we’re doing next and get back to me. You know where I’ll be.”
I watched her walk out and felt my own anger stir in my chest.
I didn’t know what she thought about me, but I wasn’t the type to fuck my way through the nursing staff. My friend Gavin was like that, but he left the hospital a year ago, and I hadn’t heard much from him since. As far as I knew, he was still happily married.
Which was never going to happen to me. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, reliving one of my earliest memories, something that had happened right in a room like this. My mother, sitting on the bed with a broken arm and a black eye, my father hovering over her, his breath reeking of vodka, and the look he gave her, and the look he gave me, that spoke so loudly though nobody in that room opened their mouths: that look meant silence, all silence, or else.
It wasn’t a good memory. Most of my memories from those years were bad, but for some reason that one stood out. I could still remember the disinfectant and the way the nurse looked at my father like he was some kind of monster, but still let me and my mom leave with him when it was time to go.
No, I wasn’t the marrying type, and I wasn’t the type to sleep around at work. I got what I needed from bars and clubs, and I was always up front about what it meant to go home with me. One night, no questions asked, no bullshit in the morning—one night of fun, and nothing more. I’d had women balk at that proposition and walk aw
ay, and that was fine by me. I didn’t want anyone getting involved that wasn’t prepared for it.
Maybe that was why I felt so off-balance around Fiona. She was beautiful, that much was obvious, but there was something else about her. Maybe it was her attitude, or her anger, or her insistence on being treated like an equal, or something else, something ineffable. Whatever it was, it made me want to be around her—and that was dangerous.
More dangerous than whatever scheme we were about to shove our noses into.
3
Fiona
I did my job, kept my head down, and concentrated. I didn’t want to be a part of hospital gossip. That was never my intention.
Of course, it never worked out that way.
The next morning, I sat in the cafeteria with a cup of coffee and my legs stretched out in front of me. Mary stopped by and sat down with a sigh, her plate laden with a bagel, eggs, and a pile of bacon.
“How was your date with Dr. Gorgeous?”
I gave her a look. “You mean Dr. Coarse?”
“Dean Coarse. He’s a little young for me, but, sweetie, he seems like your type.”
I snorted. “Not even close.”
“Oh, hon, come on. Everyone talks about him.”
“I’m not everyone.”
She gave me a look and stabbed her eggs. She talked with her mouth full, and I had to stare down at my coffee to keep from feeling nauseous. “I’ve never seen that man ask a nurse to do a simple procedure for him before, and I’ve been on his floor a few times.”
“So what?”
“So, it’s a little strange, is all.”
“There’s nothing inappropriate happening.”
She shrugged. “Didn’t say there was.”
I stood up and held my coffee with both hands. “We both know you’re a gossip, Mary. Please don’t make me the subject of your wild fantasies.”
“Come on, Fiona, it’s not every day Dr. Gorgeous flirts with a nurse. He’s one of the good ones, you know.”
I waved at her and walked off. I took a sip and burned my tongue as I stepped onto the elevator. I had to make room for a gurney and stared at the empty bed, at the starched, bleached linens, and wondered how many bodies it had held, how many people had tried to find comfort in that blanket, that overstuffed pillow.
Hospitals were small villages, almost a city in miniature. They had their own laundry, their own food, their own sewer and electric and everything in between. They had their own economy, their own ecosystem. They also had their own social strata, with the doctors at the top, followed by the administrators, then the nursing staff, then the rest of the staff before them. Sometimes I felt like I was the only one that cared about it, like I was the only person conscious off my class in the whole place, or maybe I cared too much.
There was something I didn’t love about working with a doctor like this, but Dean meant well. And Mary was right: Dean didn’t have such a bad reputation, even though I pretended like he did. Gavin had been much worse, back before he ran off with Erica, but Dean didn’t seem to be like that. I had to grudgingly respect that, even if it was the bare minimum, because of course nobody should get involved with their coworkers, sexually or otherwise.
Which was why I flinched when Dean appeared an hour later while I was alone in a patient room cleaning up after a checkout. He slid the door shut then put his hand on my lower back, and I whirled on him, eyes hard and ready to tell him to go to hell.
He smirked and pulled his hand back. “Busy?” he asked.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Needed to get your attention.”
“You can use your words next time.”
“Duly noted. Are you busy?”
I shrugged. “Straightening up this place.”
“You do that?” He frowned a little bit. “I thought we had other staff for that.”
“We do, but they sometimes take a while to get around here, and I don’t want someone to have to wait for a bed if I can help it.”
He gave me an odd look then motioned with his head. “Come on. I need a hand.”
“Am I putting in another fake line?”
“No, you’re standing watch while I break into Maria’s office.”
He turned to leave the room but I reached out and grabbed his wrist on impulse. I squeezed and held it, pulling him back, heart racing. “Hold on, are you insane?”
He looked back at me and grinned. “Not even a little bit.”
“There’s no way in hell that I’m going to break into Maria’s office.”
“You’re right, you’re not. I’m breaking into her office, and you’re standing watch.”
He turned to go again, and this time I stepped in his way. I put my hand on his chest and felt the muscle beneath his scrubs, and my heart did a strange twist—which only pissed me off even more.
“Absolutely not.”
“Then I’ll do it on my own.” He stared at me, but didn’t move, and I dropped my hand from his chest.
“You’re not going in alone.”
“Which is it? I’m not going in, or I’m not going in alone? Because I’m sure as hell heading to her office right this second.”
“Do you want to get fired?”
He laughed and shook his head. “She’s in a departmental meeting right now, and those things stretch for hours. We have plenty of time.”
“What about her secretary?”
“She’s on her lunch break.” He checked his watch. “For exactly twenty more minutes.”
“How the hell could you know that?”
“I pay attention to things.” He frowned at me and stepped forward. I didn’t move, and we were inches apart. “We can stand here and argue as much as you want, but we aren’t getting another chance. You want to find proof that Maria’s up to something? Let me get into her office.”
I took a deep breath and steadied myself. This was truly insane, way beyond what I thought we’d be doing—but then again, I didn’t exactly know how we’d find proof without snooping around. My mind slipped back to that moment in the hall and I knew I had to do something, couldn’t sit around and let her get away with stealing from the hospital. I let out a frustrated grunt and stepped aside.
“I’ll keep watch,” I said grudgingly. “But seriously, at the first sign of anyone coming—”
“I’ll make sure to get the hell out of there.” He strode into the hall then toward the elevators.
I scrambled to keep up, heart racing. I didn’t know how he seemed so calm. We were on our way to break into the hospital administrator’s office, which was basically a death sentence if we got caught. She’d make sure we never worked anywhere else again, I was sure of that. I couldn’t believe Dean didn’t seem to care that he was risking his entire career for this, and yet he didn’t seem like he was joking around.
We passed the nurses’ station. “Be back in a few,” I said to Mary. She saluted me then winked and I got the feeling a new rumor was about to sprout up all over the hospital.
“She’s going to talk about seeing us together,” he muttered as he stepped onto the elevator and punched in the top floor.
“I was just thinking that same thing.”
“Maybe she’ll think we’re having an affair.” He looked down at me and another smile quirked the edge of his lips. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
“Maybe not for you.” I looked away toward the polished metal wall and saw our reflection, bent and blurry in the chrome, and stared at his tall body. I pictured him stooping down to kiss me, his arms wrapped around my hips—and I had to push the daydream aside.
Nurses didn’t get a free pass like doctors. The hospital was a jungle and the doctors were the apex predators, which meant they got as much leeway as they wanted. If a young, handsome doctor slept around, well, boys will be boys. But if a nurse did the same thing, she’d be slut-shamed into oblivion and cast aside like trash.
I wasn’t about to risk getting a reputation like
that. I worked damn hard to earn respect, and I didn’t want to lose it all on some fling with Dr. Asshole over there, no matter how handsome he was, or dedicated to doing the right thing, or smart, and gorgeous, and funny.
Well, shit.
The elevator reached the top and he stepped out first. The executive wing was quiet, more like a typical office than a hospital. The floor had a thin carpet and the drop ceiling muffled sound. I was so used to the blinding fluorescent lights and the echoes of the main hospital that I felt lost for a second as we walked past cubicles, mostly quiet during lunchtime, back toward the offices lining the far wall of the building.
He slowed and stopped, craning his neck to look around. Maria had the office in the far left corner. A small sitting area was set up outside, with her secretary’s desk right outside the door, and fortunately it was all empty.
“Sit there,” he said, nodding at a couch. “I’ll be a second. Pretend like you’re waiting and say your name really loudly if someone shows up.”
“Won’t that be really obvious?”
He shrugged. “If you’ve got a better idea, now’s the time.”
I clenched my jaw then sat down on the bouncy leather chair. “Hurry up.”
He nodded once, eyes serious, and walked to Maria’s door. The knob turned and he disappeared inside.
I sat on the edge of the seat anxiously bouncing my knee up and down. There were a few people in the office—I could hear someone talking on the phone in one of the cubes nearby, someone else typing away, someone coughing. I didn’t think anyone noticed him slip inside, and I could probably come up with some excuse if they did—he was looking for patient paperwork, or he had a meeting with Maria that got pushed but he didn’t realize, or something like that. Still, this was an insanely massive risk, and so far from worth it.
Suddenly there was a thump. I jumped to my feet, expecting—something, I wasn’t sure, maybe a stampede of angry security guards. I rushed to the door and found Dean kneeling down next to a large, reddish brown desk, picking up a silver paperweight with the hospital logo emblazoned on the top in glittery ink. He glanced up and shook the weight in the air before returning it to a stack of folders.