“An hour!” gobbled the Major. “Practice! Bah, I say! Do you hear me, sir?”
“Yes,” said Sir Richard, flicking a speck of dust from his sleeve. “And I imagine I am not the only one privileged to hear you.”
“You are a dandy!” uttered the Major, with loathing. “A dandy, sir! That’s what you are!”
“Well, I am glad that the haste with which I dressed has not obscured that fact,” replied Sir Richard amiably. “But the correct term is Corinthian.”
“I don’t care a fig what the correct term may be!” roared the Major, striking the table with his fist. “It’s all the same to me: dandy, Corinthian, or pure popinjay!”
“If I lose my temper with you, which, however, I should be loth to do—at all events, at this hour of the morning—you will discover that you are mistaken,” said Sir Richard. “Meanwhile, I presume that you did not bring me out of my bed to exchange compliments with me. What, sir, do you want?”
“Don’t take that high and mighty tone with me, sir!” said the Major. “That whelp of yours has made off with my daughter!”
“Nonsense!” said Sir Richard calmly.
“Nonsense, is it? Then let me tell you that she has gone, sir! Gone, do you hear me? And her maid with her!”
“Accept my condolences,” said Sir Richard.
“Your condolences! I don’t want your damned condolences, sir! I want to know what you mean to do!”
“Nothing at all,” replied Sir Richard.
The Major’s eyes positively bulged, and a vein stood out on his heated brow. “You stand there, and say that you mean to do nothing, when your scoundrel of a cousin has eloped with my daughter?”
“Not at all. I mean to do nothing because my cousin has not eloped with your daughter. You must forgive me if I point out to you that I am getting a little weary of your parental difficulties.”
“How dare you, sir? how dare you?” gasped the Major. “Your cousin meets my daughter by stealth in Bath, lures her out at dead of night here, deceives her with false promises, and now—now, to crown all, makes off with her, and you say—you say that you are weary of my difficulties!”
“Very weary of them. If your daughter has left your roof—and who shall blame her?—I advise you not to waste your time and my patience here, but to enquire at Crome Hall whether Mr Piers Luttrell is at home, or whether he also is missing.”
“Young Luttrell! By God, if it were so I should be glad of it! Ay, glad of it, and glad that any man rather than that vicious, scoundrelly whelp of yours, had eloped with Lydia!”
“Well, that is a fortunate circumstance,” said Sir Richard.
“It is nothing of the kind! You know very well it is not young Luttrell! She herself confessed that she had been in the habit of meeting your cousin, and the young dog said in this very room—in this very room, mark you, with you standing by—”
“My good sir, your daughter and my cousin talked a great deal of nonsense, but I assure you they have not eloped together.”
“Very well, sir, very well! Where then is your cousin at this moment?”
“In his bed, I imagine.”
“Then send for him!” barked the Major.
“As you please,” Sir Richard said, and strolled over to the bell, and pulled it.
He had scarcely released it when the door opened, and the Honourable Cedric walked in, magnificently arrayed in a brocade dressing-gown of vivid and startling design. “What the deuce is the matter?” he asked plaintively. “Never heard such an ungodly racket in my life! Ricky, dear old boy, you ain’t dressed?”
“Yes,” sighed Sir Richard. “It is a great bore, however.”
“But, my dear fellow, it ain’t nine o’clock!” said Cedric in horrified tones. “Damme if I know what has come over you! You can’t start the day at this hour: it ain’t decent!”
“I know, Ceddie, but when in Rome, one—er—is obliged to cultivate the habits of the Romans. Ah, allow me to present Major Daubenay—Mr Brandon!”
“Servant, sir!” snapped the Major, with the stiffest of bows.
“Oh, how d’ye do?” said Cedric vaguely. “Deuced queer hours you keep in the country!”
“I am not here upon a visit of courtesy!” said the Major.
“Now, don’t tell me you’ve been quarrelling, Ricky!” begged Cedric. “It sounded devilish like it to me. Really, dear boy, you might have remembered I was sleeping above you. Never at my best before noon, y”know. Besides, it ain’t like you!”
He lounged, yawning, across the room to an armchair by the fireplace, and dropped into it, stretching his long legs out before him. The Major glared at him, and said pointedly that he had come to see Sir Richard upon a private matter.
This hint passed over Cedric’s head. “What we want is some coffee—strong coffee!” he said.
A maid-servant in a mobbed cap came in just then, and seemed astonished to find the room occupied. “Oh, I beg pardon, sir! I thought the bell rang!”
“It did,” said Sir Richard. “Have the goodness to tap on Mr Brown’s door, and to request him to step downstairs as soon as he shall have dressed. Major Daubenay wishes to speak to him.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” commanded Cedric. “Bring some coffee first, there’s a good girl!”
“Yes, sir,” said the maid, looking flustered.
“Coffee!” exploded Major Daubenay.
Cedric cocked an intelligent eyebrow. “Don’t like the notion? What shall it be? Myself, I think it’s too early for brandy, but if you fancy a can of ale, say the word!”
“I want nothing, sir! Sir Richard, while we waste time in such idle fripperies as these, that young dog is abducting my daughter!”
“Fetch Mr Brown,” Sir Richard told the servant.
“Abduction, by Jupiter!” said Cedric. “What young dog?”
“Major Daubenay,” said Sir Richard, “is labouring under the delusion that my cousin eloped last night with his daughter.”
“Eh?” Cedric blinked. An unholy gleam stole into his eyes as he glanced from Sir Richard to the Major; he said unsteadily: “No, by Jove, you don’t mean it? You ought to keep him in better order, Ricky!”
“Yes!” said the Major. “He ought indeed! But instead of that he has—I will not say abetted the young scoundrel—but adopted an attitude which I can only describe as Callous, sir, and supine!”
Cedric shook his head. “That’s Ricky all over.” His gravity broke down. “Oh lord, what the deuce put it into your head your daughter had gone off with his cousin? I’ll tell you what, it’s the richest jest I’ve heard in months! Ricky, if I don’t roast you for this for years to come!”
“You are going to the Peninsula, Ceddie,” Sir Richard said, with a lurking smile.
“You are amused, sir!” the Major said, bristling.
“Lord, yes, and so would you be if you knew as much about Wyndham’s cousin as I do!”
The maid-servant came back into the room. “Oh, if you please, sir! Mr Brown’s not in his room,” she said, dropping a curtsey.
The effect of this pronouncement was startling. The Major gave a roar like that of a baffled bull; Cedric’s laughter was cut short; and Sir Richard let his eyeglass fall.
“I knew it! Oh, I knew it!” raged the Major. “Now, sir!”
Sir Richard recovered himself swiftly. “Pray do not be absurd, sir!” he said, with more asperity than Cedric ever remembered to have heard in his voice before. “My cousin has in all probability stepped out to enjoy the air. He is an early riser.”
“If you please, sir, the young gentleman has taken his cloak-bag with him.”
The Major seemed to be having considerable difficulty in holding his fury within bounds. Cedric, observing his gobblings with a sapient eye, begged him to be careful. “I knew a man once who got into just such a taking. He burst a blood-vessel. True as I sit here!”
The maid-servant, upon whom the Honourable Cedric’s charm of manner had not fallen unappreciated, smothered a gi
ggle, and twisted one corner of her apron into a screw. “There was a letter for your honour upon the mantelshelf when I did the room out,” she volunteered.
Sir Richard swung round on his heel, and went to the fireplace. Pen’s note, which she had propped up against the clock, had fallen down, and so missed his eye. He picked it up, a little pale of countenance, and retired with it to the window.
“My dear Richard,” Pen had written. “This is to say goodbye to you, and to thank you very much for all your kindness. I have made up my mind to return to Aunt Almeria, for the notion of our being obliged to marry is preposterous. I shall tell her some tale that will satisfy her. Dear sir, it was truly a splendid adventure. Your very obliged servant, Penelope Creed.
“P.S. I will send back your cravats and the cloak-bag, and indeed I thank you, dear Richard.”
Cedric, watching his friend’s rigid face, dragged himself out of his chair, and lounged across to lay a hand on Sir Richard’s shoulder. “Ricky, dear boy! Now, what is it?”
“I demand to see that letter!” barked the Major.
Sir Richard folded the sheet, and slipped it into his inner pocket. “Be content, sir: my cousin has not eloped with your daughter.”
“I don’t believe you!”
“If you mean to give me the lie—” Sir Richard checked himself, and turned to the abigail. “When did Mr Brown leave this place?”
“I don’t know, sir. But Parks was downstairs—the waiter, sir.”
“Fetch him.”
“If your cousin has not gone off with my daughter, show me that letter!” demanded the Major.
The Honourable Cedric let his hand fall from Sir Richard’s shoulder, and strolled into the middle of the room, an expression of disdain upon his aristocratic countenance. “You, sir—Daubenay, or whatever your name may be—I don’t know what maggot’s got into your head, but damme, I’m tired of it! For the lord’s sake, go away!”
“I shall not stir from this room until I know the truth!” declared the Major. “I should not be surprised if I found that you were both in league with that young whipper-snapper!”
“Damme, there’s something devilish queer about the air of this place!” said Cedric. “It’s my belief you’re all mad!”
At this moment the gloomy waiter came into the room. His disclosure that Pen had gone to Bristol with Mrs Hopkins made Sir Richard’s face assume a more masklike expression than ever, but they could not fail to assuage one at least of the Major’s alarms. He mopped his brow, and said gruffly that he saw that he had made a mistake.
“That’s what we’ve been telling you,” Cedric pointed out. “I’ll tell you another thing, sir: I want my breakfast, and I’ll be damned if I’ll sit down to it with you dancing about the room, and shouting in my ear. It ain’t restful!”
“But I don’t understand!” complained the Major in a milder tone. “She said she went out to meet your cousin, sir!”
“I have already told you, sir, that your daughter and my cousin both talked a deal of nonsense,” said Sir Richard, over his shoulder.
“You mean she said it to make me believe—to throw dust in my eyes? Upon my soul!”
“Now, don’t start that again!” begged Cedric.
“She has gone off with young Luttrell!” exploded the Major. “By God, I’ll break every bone in his body!”
“Well, we don’t mind that,” said Cedric. “You go and do it, sir! Don’t waste a moment! Waiter, the door!”
“Good God, this is terrible!” exclaimed the Major, sinking into a chair, and clapping a hand to his brow. “Depend upon it, they are half-way to the Scottish border by now! As though that were not enough! But there is Philips wanting me to take that wretched girl to Bath this morning, to see whether she can recognize some fellow they have caught there! What am I to say to him? The scandal! My poor wife! I left her prostrate!”
“Run back to her at once!” urged Cedric. “You have not a moment to spare! Tell me, though, had this fellow the diamonds upon him?”
The Major made a gesture as of one brushing aside a gnat. “What should I care for that? It is my misguided child I am thinking about!”
“I dare say you don’t care, but I do. The man who was murdered was my brother, and those diamonds belong to my family!”
“Your brother? Good Gad, sir, I am astonished!” said the Major, glaring at him. “No one—no one, believe me!—would credit you with having sustained such a loss! Your levity, your—”
“Never mind my levity, old gentleman! Has that damned necklace been found?”
“Yes, sir, I understand that the prisoner had a necklace in his possession. And if that is your only concern in this appalling affair—”
“Ricky, I must get my hands on that necklace. I hate to leave you, dear boy, but there’s nothing for it! Where the devil’s that coffee? Can’t go without my breakfast!” He caught sight of the waiter, who had reappeared in the doorway. “You there! What the devil do you mean by standing gaping? Breakfast, you gaby!”
“Yes, sir,” said the waiter, sniffing. “And what will I tell the lady, sir, if you please?”
“Tell her we ain’t receiving!—What lady?”
The waiter proffered a tray with a visiting card upon it. “For Sir Richard Wyndham,” he said lugubriously. “She would be obleeged by the favour of a word with him.”
Cedric picked up the card, and read aloud: “Lady Luttrell. Who the deuce is Lady Luttrell, Ricky?”
“Lady Luttrell!” said the Major, starting up. “Here? Ha, is this some dastardly plot?”
Sir Richard turned, a look of surprise in his face. “Show the lady in!” he said.
“Well, I always knew country life would never do for me,” remarked Cedric, “but damme, I never realized one half of it till now! Not nine o’clock, and the better part of the county paying morning calls! Horrible, Ricky, horrible!”
Sir Richard had turned away from the window, and was watching the door, his brows slightly raised. The waiter ushered in a good-looking woman of between forty and fifty years of age, with brown hair flecked with grey, shrewd, humorous eyes, and a somewhat masterful mouth and chin. Sir Richard moved to meet her, but before he could say anything the Major had burst into speech.
“So, ma’am! So!” he shot out. “You wish to see Sir Richard Wyndham, do you? You did not expect to meet me here, I dare say!”
“No,” agreed the lady composedly. “I did not. However, since we shall be obliged, I understand, to meet one another in future with an appearance at least of complaisance, we may as well make a start. How do you do, Major?”
“Upon my word, you are mighty cool, ma’am! Pray, are you aware that your son has eloped with my daughter?”
“Yes,” replied Lady Luttrell. “My son left a letter behind to inform me of this circumstance.”
Her calm seemed to throw the Major out of his stride. He said rather lamely: “But what are we to do?”
She smiled. “We have nothing to do but to accept the event with as good a grace as we can. You do not like the match, and nor do I, but to pursue the young couple, or to show the world our disapproval, will only serve to make us both ridiculous.” She looked him over with a rather mocking light in her eyes, but he seemed so much taken aback, that she relented, and held out her hand to him. “Come, Major! We may as well bury the hatchet. I cannot be estranged from my only son; you, I am persuaded, would be equally loth to disown your daughter.”
He shook hands with her, not very graciously. “I do not know what to say! I am utterly confounded! They have behaved very ill towards us, very ill indeed!”
“Oh yes!” she sighed. “But did we perhaps behave ill towards them?”
This was plainly going too far for the Major, whose eyes began to bulge again. Cedric intervened hastily: “Don’t set him off again, ma’am, for lord’s sake!”
“Hold your tongue, sir!” snapped the Major. “But you came here to see Sir Richard Wyndham, ma’am! How is this?”
“I c
ame to see Sir Richard Wyndham upon quite another matter,” she replied. Her glance dwelled for an instant on Cedric, and travelled past him to Sir Richard. “And you, I think, must be Sir Richard Wyndham,” she said.
He bowed. “I am at your service, ma’am. Permit me to present Mr Brandon to you!”
She looked quickly towards Cedric. “Ah, I thought your face familiar! Sir, I hardly know what to say to you, except that I am more deeply distressed than I am well able to express to you.”
Cedric looked startled. “Nothing to be distressed about on my account, ma’am, nothing in the world! Must beg your ladyship to excuse my appearance! The fact is, these early hours, you know, put a man out!”
“Lady Luttrell refers, I apprehend, to Beverley’s death,” said Sir Richard dryly.
“Bev? Oh, of course, yes! Shocking affair! Never was more surprised in my life!”
“It is a source of profound dismay to me that such a thing should have happened while your brother was a guest in my house,” said Lady Luttrell.
“Don’t give it a thought, ma’am!” begged Cedric. “Not your fault—always thought he would come to a bad end—might have happened anywhere!”
“Your callousness, sir, is disgusting!” proclaimed the Major, picking up his hat. “I will not remain another instant to be revolted by such a display of heartless unconcern!”
“Well, damme, who wants you to?” demanded Cedric. “Haven’t I been trying to get you to go away this past half-hour? Never met such a thick-skinned fellow in my life!”
“Escort Major Daubenay to the door, Ceddie,” Sir Richard said. “I understand that Lady Luttrell wishes to see me upon a private matter.”
“Private as you please, dear boy! Ma’am, your very obedient! After you, Major!” He bowed the Major out with a flourish, winked at Sir Richard, and went out himself.
“What an engaging scapegrace!” remarked Lady Luttrell, moving forward into the middle of the parlour. “I confess, I much disliked his brother.”
“Your dislike was shared by most of his acquaintance, ma’am. Will you not be seated?”
She took the chair he offered, and looked him over rather penetratingly. “Well, Sir Richard,” she said, perfectly mistress of the situation, “you are wondering, I dare say, why I have come to call upon you.”
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