by Ian Gregoire
“How can you be so certain?” Fay didn’t doubt Ari; she just needed to understand his certainty. “What was it that persuaded you?”
“The answer to both questions is the same: there is much about Kayden that is very reminiscent of you.”
“Would not any similarities between us make it more likely she could repeat the same mistakes I made, not less?” It was the only rational conclusion to be inferred, she thought. “What guarantee is there that Kayden will never become more than just a theoretical threat?”
“You are the guarantee,” said Ari. “And Kayden having you has already averted the potential danger she formerly posed.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You cared enough about Kayden to see the pain she was in, and get her the help she needed by bringing her here. In doing so, you became the catalyst for her to finally come to terms with the source of that pain. She understands now where her anger was leading her to—somewhere she does not wish to go.” Ari looked at her intently. “If someone had cared enough about you when you were Kayden’s age, maybe you could have avoided walking the path you took. Instead, through no fault of your own, you found yourself in the sphere of influence of an unscrupulous man who exploited your pain for his own ends.”
That was one way to interpret her history, Fay silently mused.
“I suspect Kayden has come to greatly appreciate how fortunate she is to have you on her side,” Ari concluded.
Fay found that assertion very difficult to believe; it didn’t sound like the Kayden Jayta she knew. But Ari was a good judge of character, with a knack for getting people to open up to him. It was a quality she knew well from personal experience.
“So, if you really did succeed in getting through to Kayden,” she said, envisioning what might have transpired between Ari and her apprentice the previous night, “you must have learned what happened in the past to make her so…difficult.”
“Yes, she told me, eventually,” Ari affirmed. “And you were right, again, when you described it as a traumatic event she hadn’t yet come to terms with.”
Looking at her friend, she waited for him to elaborate.
“It’s not my story to tell,” he declared, disappointing her. “But I imagine Kayden will want to share it with you once the two of you are reunited.”
She fought off the urge to laugh incredulously.
“I’ve always admired your optimism, Ari, but I just don’t see Kayden wanting to share anything personal with me.”
Ari smiled, knowingly. “I think you will find your apprentice’s attitude towards you greatly improved, old friend,” he said. “Which is just as well. She’s going to need you a great deal over the next few years. I believe you are correct about how powerful Kayden is—though confirmation will have to wait until after she has been inducted into the Order. And having you to guide her will be of tremendous benefit to her.”
Fay harboured doubts about her own suitability to continue to oversee Kayden’s training. As much as she wished it were otherwise, the antagonistic relationship she had with the apprentice wasn’t conducive to getting the best out of her. It might be necessary to step down as the administrator of Antaris campus—to allow someone else to take on the responsibility.
“I see doubt written all over your face, old friend,” said Ari. “I’m not sure I understand why.”
“Ari, my relationship with Kayden has never been good. Over the course of the past three years it has grown progressively worse, and I don’t see how bringing her here, forcing her to confront her past—with the threat of death hanging over her, no less—hasn’t made it worse.”
“Fay, you did the right thing bringing Kayden here, even she would acknowledge that, I’m sure.” There was a surety in Ari’s tone; she had heard and trusted it on numerous occasions before. “Your relationship with Kayden can only improve from this point on. I expect she’ll be rather eager to mend fences with you.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Like I said, you are a catalyst for her,” Ari replied. “You set her on the path to moving past the most painful experience of her life. Now that chapter of her story will shortly come to an end, allowing the next one to commence. A chapter in which you will play a leading role, or so says Idelle. She believes you are going to become the most important person in Kayden’s life,” Ari smiled at her, “and when is Idelle ever wrong about anything?”
Could it be true? She would certainly love to improve her relationship with Kayden. She had devoted the last three years of her life to the young woman, after all.
Ari gently stroked Fay’s upper arm again.
“The quickest way to remove all your doubts is to go and see your apprentice right away. You’ll probably be surprised at how happy she is to see you.” He adopted an exaggerated frown, adding sarcastically, “She might be a little less happy about missing her classes today, though.”
A half smile curled Fay’s lips. “Is that your way of dismissing me, dear friend?”
“Well, you do have a campus to run, not to mention one exceptionally gifted young apprentice whose training needs overseeing.” Ari held her gaze, affectionately. “You have done everything you came here to do, old friend.”
Ari was right. If Kayden had been granted a reprieve there was no reason to remain in Temis Rulan any longer than necessary.
“Where is she now?” she asked. “I guess I should get her back to campus.”
“When I saw her last, she was returning to your quarters.”
“Then that is where I should be.”
Fay gazed at her counterpart, feeling regretful. They had not been in each other’s presence in three years, and now they had to part ways, yet again.
“I’m sorry we didn’t have the opportunity to spend more time together. I will make it up to you the next time.”
“Just make sure I don’t have to wait three years for your next visit.”
Ari held his arms open, inviting a hug. She stepped into his embrace, wrapping her arms fervently around him.
“You do realise you have the option of visiting me at Antaris?” she said.
“That is correct,” replied Ari, “and now I have two reasons for paying a visit to the campus.”
The two friends released each other from their farewell embrace. They silently held each other’s gaze for a protracted moment; it wasn’t necessary for either to say their goodbyes. Eventually, it was Fay who stepped away from Ari, turning on her heels to march purposefully for the exit, vacating the chamber through the south facing double doors, without looking back.
She navigated her way through several corridors. For the duration of the walk back to her quarters, all she could think about was Kayden. How would her next meeting with the apprentice play out? Ari was certainly of the opinion Kayden would be better disposed towards her, henceforth, so she was inclined to believe it to be so. However, his mentioning of Idelle’s prediction was much harder to believe. The idea that she was to become the most important person in Kayden’s life seemed beyond far-fetched in light of her experience with the young apprentice, thus far.
Stopping outside the door to her quarters, Fay didn’t enter right away. Instead, she took a moment to compose herself, wanting to be prepared for every eventuality; there were several different directions the upcoming conversation with Kayden could go in.
Once she felt ready, she pushed the door open and entered her quarters. There was no sign of the apprentice anywhere. She called out to Kayden, and though there was no reply she advanced through the living area towards the open doorway of the bedchamber. As she was passing her tea table she spotted a handwritten note upon it. She stopped to pick it up; it was from Sister Nelda.
Fay,
I have accompanied Kayden to the flower garden. Upon your return you may find us there.
Nelda.
Fay set the note back down on the tea table. She contemplated waiting in her quarters for Kayden to return, but why prolong matters any longer th
an necessary? It made more sense to go to the flower garden immediately, so she promptly departed.
A short while later she had left Kassani House, and was making her way along the grey brick pathway that led to the flower garden. She couldn’t understand why she felt so anxious, the last time she felt this nervous was on her wedding day, three decades ago. And now, as then, her nerves were the by-product of excitement rather than fear. Her gambit with Kayden—bringing her to Temis Rulan to meet Ari—seemed to have paid off, and she was eager to find out just how well.
Upon entering the gardens, she observed several Sanatsai and Jaymidari milling around. Casting her gaze here and there, she saw no sign of Kayden or Nelda in the immediate vicinity—they had to be somewhere further in. She reached out with her senses, courtesy of a ley-line, to pinpoint Kayden’s presence. A subtle smile curled her lips. The apprentice was on the far side of the gardens, not too far from her own favourite spot. She set off along the pathway to meet her charge, returning the occasional warm greeting from other visitors to the flower garden along the way.
Finally she came around the corner of a hedgerow then stopped. Further along the path before her, she found what she was looking for, Kayden sitting on a wooden bench on the right hand side of the path. Sitting beside her was Nelda, casually running a comb through Kayden’s flowing, raven locks.
Fay resumed her steady approach towards them. As she drew nearer, first Kayden, then Nelda, noticed her approaching. Kayden rose quickly to her feet, staring at her, so again she halted in her tracks. Sister Nelda rose more slowly—the welcoming smile on her face barely registering with Fay. Her eyes were locked on Kayden, just as Kayden’s eyes were locked on her. It suddenly dawned on Fay that she had never seen Kayden with her hair down before. Until that moment, she had always taken for granted the notion it wasn’t possible for the apprentice to be any more beautiful—an assumption she now realised was incorrect. But that wasn’t important. What mattered now was whatever happened next.
Who would make the first move now that she and Kayden were back in each other’s orbit?
The moment of truth was at hand.
While Kayden stood, gazing back at Fay, several thoughts flashed through her mind. She had so many things she wanted to say to the woman, but no idea where to begin. Just a day earlier, if anyone had suggested that she would feel as happy to see Fay as she felt at that moment, she would have mocked the suggestion, as well as the person making it. Yet here she was, and she couldn’t be happier.
Nelda placed a hand on her shoulder then spoke quietly into her ear. “I think I’m going to leave you alone now,” she said. “I have the distinct impression you and your master have things you need to say to each other.”
Kayden didn’t reply—she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Fay.
“Before I go,” Nelda continued, “it was very nice to meet you, Kayden. I expect we’ll meet again in a few years time. Until then, farewell.”
Watching Nelda leave in Fay’s direction, Kayden uttered, “Farewell, Sister Nelda.”
She then watched her walk up to Fay, stopping just long enough to exchange a few words before leaving. At last, she was alone with Fay in a secluded corner of the flower garden.
After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to make the first move but Fay beat her to the punch, advancing towards her, steadily closing the distance between them. While the other woman approached, Kayden tried to read the expression on her face, but it was a futile undertaking—she simply didn’t know Fay well enough to read her. Besides, as was usually the case, Fay’s face was inscrutable, which told her nothing about how things might play out.
“How are you, Kayden?” asked Fay, halting in front of the apprentice.
“Good, thank you,” she replied. “I’m glad you’re back, Master Fay. I take it your assignment in Lirantana yesterday was a success?”
There was no immediate response from Fay, which—much to Kayden’s surprise—made her feel gutted. Not just because of the lack of response, but also because of the frown that appeared on Fay’s face. Apparently, the woman was in no mood for small talk.
“Is something wrong, Master?”
“I don’t know, is there?” said Fay, a tinge of uncertainty in her voice. “In the three years I have known you, Kayden, you have never once addressed me as Master. But you’ve just done so, twice in quick succession.”
Without thinking, Kayden retorted, “That can’t be right.”
She promptly began searching her memories for at least one example that would refute Fay’s assertion.
“It’s true,” Fay insisted. “You usually address me as ‘Administrator Annis’ or just, ‘administrator’.”
Kayden stopped trying to recall a time when that wasn’t the case; Fay had spoken truthfully.
“And behind my back,” continued Fay, “I believe you generally refer to me as, ‘That Woman’.”
It dawned on Kayden that she had, indeed, pointedly refused to address Fay as Master ever since she arrived at Antaris campus; she’d gone out of her way to avoid doing so, in fact.
“You’re right, Master,” she conceded reluctantly, “I hope you will accept my apology when I say I’m sorry for all the disrespect I have shown you these past three years.”
Fay looked taken aback.
“No apology is necessary, Kayden.”
“Well, you have it, nonetheless. And for what it’s worth…from this day forward you’ll hear the word master from my lips so frequently, you may very well beg me to stop.” She flashed a beaming smile at Fay.
Judging from the reappearance of the frown upon Fay’s face, Kayden had to assume her attempt at humour was not appreciated. The reunion with her master was not going nearly as well as she wanted, but she was determined not to allow things to become antagonistic.
Still smiling, she added light-heartedly, “What did I do wrong this time, Master?”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Kayden.” Fay’s expression remained unchanged. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you smile.
What a bizarre claim, Kayden thought.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Master,” she retorted. “You must not have been paying attention. I smile all the time.”
“No, you don’t,” Fay countered. “You smirk. A withering smirk to let the recipients know they are less significant than the dirt beneath your boot.”
The smile Kayden had been trying to maintain vanished from her face. Was that really how Fay saw her? If so, what did other people on campus see when they looked at her? She suddenly found she could no longer meet Fay’s gaze, so she stared down at her feet, shame-faced.
For the very first time it dawned on her just how poorly she had behaved towards many of her peers on campus. But it wasn’t just fellow apprentices who had been wronged by her. What about Sister Daria from the campus infirmary? She had taken advantage of the Sister’s attraction to her, for her own ends, for a considerable period of time. Not only had she persuaded Daria to cross several lines for her, she had also toyed with her emotions to the extent that—though she’d never actually said it—the woman was clearly in love with her. For her own part, she had no genuine romantic feelings towards Daria, and never would. Yet only now was she troubled by guilt about the whole affair.
Unexpectedly, she felt Fay’s fingertips gently settle beneath her chin. Slowly her head was tilted upward as Fay compelled her to meet her gaze once more. She was surprised by the warm half-smile Fay was wearing.
“You have a beautiful smile, Kayden,” said Fay. “I hope you will allow me to see it more often in future.”
Kayden’s heart skipped a beat; it was the sweetest thing Fay had ever said to her. She smiled, hesitantly, at her.
“I think I can manage that, Master.”
Fay slowly drew her hand away from Kayden’s face.
“I guess now would be a good time to get you back to Antaris.”
“Do we have to go now?” Kayden blurted. It was not a good time to lea
ve as far as she was concerned. “I was hoping we could stay a little while longer.”
“The longer you remain here, the more questions will be asked. As it is, you’re already the subject of much speculation that I’d like to nip in the bud. We really should leave without delay.”
“But I really wanted to talk to you,” Kayden lamented. She was bitterly disappointed, and it must have shown on her face judging from the curiosity in Fay’s gaze. “There are things I need to tell you, Master—things I want to share with you.”
“Is it important?”
It certainly was, from her point of view. Whether Fay would deem it as such remained to be seen.
“Yes, Master. It’s important to me that we have an opportunity to talk before returning to Antaris,” she said. “If nothing else, I’d like to tell you about my mother. I think it will help you to understand me better. Understand why I am the way that I am.”
She paid close attention to Fay’s reaction. For a protracted moment the woman’s face was the epitome of contemplation; she appeared to be giving much consideration to the request.
“I would like to get to know you better, Kayden,” Fay conceded, finally, “but we still need to leave Temis Rulan right away. However, there’s no reason for us to return to campus immediately. The Sisterhood has a seminary a few miles outside Timaris; we can travel there first. It should take us about an hour and a half to walk back to campus from there—more than enough time for us to talk, don’t you think?”
Kayden smiled. “Yes, Master,” she agreed. “More than enough.”
“Very well, let’s get going, our time here has come to an end.” Fay turned on her heels to begin the walk back to Kassani House.
“Master Fay!” exclaimed Kayden, halting Fay’s departure, and prompting her to peer back over her shoulder. “There’s one more thing before we go.”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for bringing me here.” Her voice had an uncharacteristic solemnity, her words heartfelt. “I’m not accustomed to having anyone other than my mother be genuinely concerned about my wellbeing, but I’ve come to realise that you’ve been looking out for me these past three years—not persecuting me. It means a lot that you would care, even though I’ve given you many reasons not to. I feel like I’ve been granted a second chance and I’ll never forget it. My words cannot convey how truly grateful I am for what you have done. All I can do is promise that from this day forth, I will work my hardest to make you proud of me.”