by S Michaels
‘Apart from myself I can’ he murmurs against my ear and I smile.
‘I didn’t even have the energy for myself’ I murmur and he tightens his hold.
‘I will make it up to you I promise’ he stops playing and his words suddenly have meaning, I sigh against his head. We remain silently floating in the water wrapped around each other for what seems like an age before reluctantly exiting the pool.
‘Ok, say goodbye to hubby now Bella’ I tease ‘the next time you see him it will be in the chapel’ Bella stands and gives me daggers before wrapping her arms around Mike who looks like he would cut his arm off rather than be parted from his wife to be. Grant turns me around and wraps his arms around me ‘so I will be the one in the suit’ he mumbles down to me and I smile shyly.
‘See you tomorrow Grant’ I move away but not before he drops a quick kiss on my lips and slaps my backside playfully.
‘Come on Mike’ he calls ‘stripper time’ Bella throws him a filthy look before addressing Mike.
‘If you want to look at stripper’s baby that’s fine but hands to yourself, I will give you a strip show tomorrow night’ and she winks. Mike grabs her and kisses her again as he releases her he whispers something in her ear, she flushes and kisses him once again.
‘Come on the show starts in an hour’ I call and she reluctantly leaves Mike and moves towards me, I grab her hand and send a grin in the direction of the boys who are smiling, ‘come on soppy knickers’
We have a great night just the two of us I have missed Bella and she appears to feel the same, we go to show called ‘la Reve’ in our hotel which is fantastic it is an acrobatic show set in water which is absolutely spectacular. Afterwards we eat in the bar not wanting to venture far before sitting in the casino on the roulette and both winning. I am a bit tipsy and Bella is tiring I guess the pregnancy is affecting her more than I thought so I suggest we head up to our suite where we change into our onesies and sit and chat with a film playing on the flat screen TV.
‘So what is going to happen with Grant?’ it is the first time that Bella has mentioned Grant since the pool.
‘I don’t know but Grant and I’s relationship or non-relationship is not your worry, this trip is about you and Mike’ I inform her ‘and we certainly are not discussing it on the eve of your wedding. Now are we all set?’
‘Yes I think so’ she smiles.
‘How do you feel about becoming a mum?’ I ask, Bella’s mum died when she was young and she was brought up by her grandparents.
‘It was a shock but I am looking forward to it now, the thought of growing a baby that is part of Mike and I….words cannot express!’
‘You deserve happiness’ I tell her.
‘Thank you so do you! Tell me a little bit, do you think you will work it out with Grant? Seeing you together it is plain that time has changed nothing’
‘I don’t know do you think it is possible for us to forgive and move on?’
‘Of course as long as you draw a line under it and start afresh. It was him that refused to wait until tomorrow to see you although Mike was just as eager by the way’ she states and I consider this.
‘Anyway, bed madam you have a busy day tomorrow!’ I grin determined not to be drawn into the world of Grant and me tonight.
********
We awake to another sunny day in Vegas, I slept in fits and spurts. Every time I think of Grant I am wide awake and analyzing the possibility of a future together. I ordered breakfast in the room the night before so jump in the shower and tidy the living area. We have hair appointments this morning so I wake Bella up to shower before breakfast arrives.
‘I am so nervous’ she brings her hand to her stomach before dashing to the bathroom. I don’t know whether it is morning sickness or nerves so fetch some soda water from the mini bar and rub her back, ‘ehh’ she moans.
‘Is it nerves?’ I check.
‘No morning sickness I thought I had got away with it but I have been feeling nauseous the past week, not today of all days!’
‘Drink this’ I put the soda in her hand and she sips it before throwing up again.
‘Oops sorry I thought it would help’
The door buzzer rings and I move to let the room service trolley in tipping the man. I move back to Bella, ‘you need to eat something plain I read it somewhere, come on’
I sit her down and hand her a piece of dry toast and it seems to settle her, I don’t mention that yesterday she ate her body weight in burger and chips.
‘Right breakfast is out’ I mumble.
‘You eat’ she encourages and I scowl at her.
‘Not you too, I do eat! Do you think you can shower as we have hair and makeup appointments soon?’
‘Yes I think it has passed’
My phone buzzes signaling a text has arrived and I retrieve it,
Hi
Not sure this is still your number,
How is the blushing bride? Gx
I type back grinning,
Still my number,
Bride has morning sickness!
It pings a reply,
Oh dear!
No kisses for me?
He is in flirt mode,
I am very selective with my kisses these days.
Besides I prefer to give them personally!
Bella appears beside me again, ‘you ok?’
‘I think so’ she looks pale.
‘Ok we will eat later shall we go?’ I ask and she nods ‘you aren’t nervous though are you?’
‘I am….. why is that Mike is my soul mate?’ she questions.
I pick my phone up and dial Grant who answers immediately, ‘hi’
‘Hi, the bride is very nervous and needs to speak to the groom should we allow it? I confiscated her phone last night’
‘That is mean Abi, why is she nervous he adores her?’ he shocks.
‘Exactly what I said what do you think?’ my insides squirm at his voice.
‘Abi! What’s wrong?’ Mike is panicking on the line.
‘Nothing is wrong Mike Bella just woke to morning sickness and is feeling a bit shaky you want a word?’
‘Yes please’ I hand the phone over and collect my things as Bella coo’s into the phone before ending with ‘love you too see you soon’
She grins at me ‘thank you Abi’ and I shake my head ‘Grant wants to speak to you’ she hands my phone back to me.
‘Hi’
‘Hi, you know the best man and maid of honor have to get it on don’t you?’ he flirts.
‘You think?’ my voice is droll despite my stomach flipping at his words.
‘It’s the law’ he murmurs seductively ‘don’t wear underwear Abi’ he whispers.
‘Grant behave yourself’ I scold him.
‘Never!’ he chuckles.
‘See you later’
Chapter Eighteen
I stand and admire Bella, she looks like a movie star. Her hair has been positioned into a vintage style with pin curls and a quiff, her dress fits tight I imagine she is filling out gradually and she has lace gloves to match her dress. Her shoes are cream lace too and she is holding lavender flowers which compliment my powder blue dress. Bella requested that I have a similar hairstyle and makeup keeping in with her theme.
‘You look gorgeous Bella’ I enthuse.
‘Thank you, you look pretty good yourself’ she smiles.
We walk down to the chapel Bella receiving many an admiring glance she looks stunning. A member of staff greet us and show us to a side room until they are ready for us. I have nerves fluttering in my insides at the prospect of once again seeing Grant and for Bella who looks like she is going to pass out.
We are directed in and the wedding music that Bella has chosen begins, Coldplay, In My Place and I already have tears in my eyes.
‘You ok?’ I check and stroke her cheek ‘be happy Bell’
‘I will’ she smiles a watery smile at me.
‘Come on your man is waiting’ I
urge her in as the doors are opened and in our view are the two most handsome men I have ever seen. They both look immaculate in their expensive suits Mike’s eyes are piercing towards Bella and he smiles relaxing.
I follow Bella down the small aisle and she turns and hands me her flowers, my grin is watery as I encourage her. Mike winks at me before staring into Bella’s eyes like a thirsty man, I risk a glance over to Grant who smiles sexily at me and I flush. The ceremony is delightful, I assumed it would be quite quick and unfeeling being Vegas but it was touching and intimate.
We are shown into a room and sign to witness the marriage before a photographer takes some pictures, one of the four of us then a few of the happy couple and one of Grant and I which he takes advantage of by moving his hand over my backside causing me to throw him a stern look which of course he was aiming for. I hug Bella and Mike wishing them both the best for the future, Grant does the same.
‘Right, a meal then you lovebirds can fly off into the sunset’ Grant announces ushering us out of the hotel into a waiting limo.
‘This is very good of you Grant thank you’ Bella declares.
‘My pleasure, it’s good to see you both so happy’ he acknowledges.
‘Where are you off to after?’ I enquire unaware they were flying straight away on their honeymoon.
‘The Caribbean for some rest and sun’ Mike announces ‘my wife and I need some alone time’ he grins at using the W word, Bella giggles.
I tilt my head towards them, ‘you two will be fine’ I murmur ‘a match made in heaven’ and Bella nods emotionally.
‘God woman you are always crying’ I lighten the mood ‘bloody hormones’ and she giggles.
We pull up outside the Stratosphere where Grant and I had our first date and my eyes turn to his he smiles gently, ‘memories’ he mumbles and I smile back emotionally.
‘You been here before?’ Bella asks.
‘Our first date’ Grant announces and Bella smiles regarding us fondly.
We are shown to what must be the best table in the revolving restaurant overlooking the beautiful sights and I sit adjacent to Grant who rests his arm across the back as he did on our first date. I lean back and inhale his scent so close to me. Mike and Bella are cuddled up admiring the view oblivious to us, Grant orders champagne and sparkling water as we are given menus.
‘What are you having?’ he questions.
I shrug ‘fish maybe’
‘Come on find your appetite please Abi’ he soothes.
‘The crushed cod please’ I hand the menu back to him and he hands me a glass of champagne.
‘Ok, to Bella and Mike long may their partnership last’ Grant calls and we clink glasses, I smile over at them before moving my glance back to Grant. He glances down at me his eyes alight, ‘you ok?’
‘Yes I think so’ I mumble and he lifts my chin up towards him placing a kiss on my lips gently.
‘This is the first place I did this too’ he murmurs his eyes drinking me in.
‘How did you two not make it work?’ Bella mutters from opposite us.
‘Outside influences’ Grant murmurs.
‘Not only’ I add but Grant just regards me. The bubble has burst and I glance away as our meals are placed before us.
********
We are standing outside the hotel, ‘have a great time’ I hug Bella ‘text me when you get home and we will meet for a catch up’
‘Thank you for coming Abi. Grant you will make sure she gets home safe won’t you?’ she confirms with Grant who rolls his eyes.
‘I guarantee her safe return Bella’ he assures her.
‘Yes but what if you two have one of your falling outs’ she worries.
‘We won’t’ Grant calls gently ‘if she misbehaves I will tan her back side’ he teases and I throw a dark look his way.
‘Bye Mike, congratulations again’ I hug him.
‘You will be fine Abi’ he nods in Grant’s direction ‘give him a chance’
I nod at Mike before I address Bella, ‘I am quite capable of making my own way home anyway Bella I don’t know why you worry so’
‘She won’t be making her way anywhere alone Bella’ Grant confirms.
‘See already you are bickering’ she looks to Mike who sends a pacifying smile her way.
‘It is their idea of foreplay Bella, come on or I will find someone else to take’
We wave them off and I turn suddenly feeling extremely shy, ‘so……’
‘Come let’s get a drink’ he holds his hand out and I take it. We walk into the Wynn hotel and move into the bar where we sit, ‘what you having?’
‘Mojito please’
‘Mojito and a Jack Daniels please, no ice’ he turns to me ‘You have gone very quiet Miss Stephens’
‘Have I?’ I glance down at my hands.
‘Extremely’ the barman places our drinks down with some snacks which Grant pushes towards me.
‘Seriously, you have to stop doing that you just saw me eat’ I am aggravated.
‘You eat like a sparrow’ his eyes take on my dress ‘you do look stunning though’ he murmurs.
‘Make your mind up’ I grumble.
‘Well you never used to eat so little, I prefer a few curves myself. So what’s with the weight loss?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean you left me Abi not the other way around. I went to work walking on air and came back a broken man’
‘You want to do this here and now?’
‘No!’ he shakes his head, ‘I don’t want to go over old ground I want to move forward. I realize I behaved badly and I hurt you for that I apologize’ he glances at me lifting his drink, I tilt mine towards him, ‘to us’ he mutters before we drink.
‘I hear things sorted themselves out regarding your dramas in the end?’ someone has to mention the elephant in the room.
‘Eventually’ he exhales a breath ‘I will never put myself in that circumstance or the distinct possibility of that situation again’
‘So what you are saying is you are going to remain celibate?’ I snort.
‘No, I am saying that I only ever want to be intimate with one person on this planet and if she gets pregnant…..’ he shrugs.
My stomach flips as I gaze down into my glass bringing it to my lips to keep myself occupied.
‘The drama has resolved itself Grant, the way you handled it unfortunately remains’ I test a glance up into his eyes.
‘I realize that. I recognize that. All I can ask is that you forgive me and take a gamble on me Abi. I only handled things badly because it was all alien to me! That isn’t an excuse, I have never taken on the responsibly of someone else’s feelings before. In regards to my keeping you separate from my office, yes I wanted to keep you to myself for no other reason but the fact that I love you. I should have informed you that Amber was an employee but to me that wasn’t important because she was unimportant to me. I have missed you so much Abi, I feel as though there is a gigantic void in my life’
‘Our feelings have never been the issue Grant, but I always sensed you held half of your life back from me, I still don’t really know what you do for a living’ I breathe ‘I don’t care how much money you possess I just want to know you the whole you’
‘Then give us a chance, teach me how to do this?’ he pleads. My gaze moves over him his hair is slightly shorter on top but other than that he appears no different just a little more serious perhaps.
I look into his anxious gaze and know that I am going to allow him back into my heart because he never left. I am miserable without him, I go about my days on autopilot living a half-life.
‘You have to let me in’ I warn him quietly ‘to all aspects of your life, I should be able to walk into your office and bring you lunch or just pop in to visit. None of this separate business where my imagination runs riot wondering what you are hiding?’
He pulls me in between his legs draped over the bar stool wrapping his arms around me, ‘whatev
er negotiations I agree, anything’ he sighs ‘I cannot be without you Abi, I am so sorry for everything’ he squeezes me tightly and I pull his head into my chest placing a kiss on the top of his head.
‘We are getting married’ he informs me and I pull away from him.
‘No! One step at a time’ I murmur.
‘No, all or nothing Abi’ his face is set like stone ‘no more one foot in, you either love me or you don’t I cannot be feeling insecure about whether I am going to say or do the wrong thing and return to an empty house. We work through our problems like adults in love’
‘Grant!’ I attempt.
‘No, non-negotiable we love each other’ he shakes his head, ‘we are getting married I have the ring’ he reaches into his inside jacket pocket pulling out a Tiffany box.
‘When did you get that?’ I enquire shocked.
‘I bought it months ago, I was going to surprise you at the airport then….’ He rubs his hand over his face.
I regard him with surprise he is struggling here, I sense his panic ‘Ok’ I whisper calming him frowning ‘ok! Relax’
‘You don’t know what it has been like living without you’ he growls ‘I have been a monster’
‘Of course I do I lived it too Grant!’ I snap sitting back down ‘I lost my best friend and the love of my life in one fail swoop! Don’t you dare tell me how bad you had it, I had to move home and start again’
‘I know, I am sorry’ he sighs pulling me back towards him ‘I love you, please marry me and allow me to spend my life loving you’
I stare at him my anger subsiding ‘you have a lot to learn Mr Fitzgerald’
‘I know, educate me’ he rubs his hand up and down my hip ‘I am a fast learner I promise’
‘Ok’ I sigh and he grins.
‘What yes you will marry me?’
‘Well you have spoiled it for me now, no other man measures up so I guess so’ I smile gently and he stands lifting me up and swings me around kissing me soundly.
Chapter Nineteen
Ellie Golding is playing ‘How long will I love you? As long as the stars are above you’ as I walk down the aisle of the chapel in Grant’s new Las Vegas Hotel. Grant has flown out our entire families who are facing me as I link my dad’s arm Bella following behind me her swollen abdomen pushing against the fabric of her lemon dress. I am dressed in a short wedding dress with long sleeves in cream lace, the entire back cut out leaving my spine exposed for view. I have my hair long and wavy pulled back on one side. I am holding yellow gerbera’s and my eyes are focused entirely on Grant.