“Chris! Nice work, kid,” he said with a smirk as he rummaged around for a clean pair of boxers.
“Come on, Jay, cut it out,” Chris responded. He started making his bed, anything to make us forget what we had walked in on.
I wanted to go find Julie, go see if she was okay; to see if she could open up to me the same way she did for Chris. I wanted to get rid of this jealousy I had. I wanted to punch something. But all I could do was change out of my damp clothes and climb into bed.
I guess I could add that I wanted sleep, since that was another unobtainable thing that night.
Julie
A couple weeks passed and though I didn't outwardly avoid Chris when we were together with the group, I made sure not to be alone with him either. I still couldn't believe that I broke down and told him about my stepfather. I didn't mean to, but with the weed as a catalyst, the sound of the rain must have triggered something within me.
I knew Chris was a good guy, but I wanted to make sure he would back off. I needed to build the wall back up. I wasn't ready to talk about my past and it was all I could do to re-suppress those memories of my stepfather to where they belonged, deep down in the recesses of my brain.
Chris handled my snub in stride. There was no show of anger or hurt pride. It made me feel like maybe he would be there as a friend if I needed him. I realized that he was someone who I could potentially trust, since I subconsciously already did.
I quickly found myself taking up residence in the back row of classes next to Jon. It wasn't long before I ate my meals and studied with him also. Even if Jon didn't initially sit with me in the cafeteria or the common room during study hours, somehow I would find him next to me. I couldn't tell whether I went to him or if he gravitated towards me. Either way, I couldn't complain. Being near him eased my anxiety, which helped keep the bad memories at bay.
Mindy Davies
"Hi! I'm Stacy," the bubbly little teenager greeted everyone.
"Hey there Stacy," Jason responded with a wink. I looked over at Jason, shaking my head. I couldn't hide my disgust at his girl obsession. Stacy Hatcheck had arrived earlier that day and I didn't know which part was worse, her tiny waist accentuated by her full C-cup or her gorgeous light blue eyes and perfect skin.
The girl rubbed me the wrong way. She just seemed happy; happy and excited to be here. I was thoroughly confused by her. I rolled my eyes and let them travel over to look at Jason again, whose mouth was practically on the table, staring at Stacy.
"Ugh," slipped out of my mouth in exasperation. Everyone looked at me. I just stared back, but I felt the blush starting to rise up my neck into my cheeks, "Sorry… I... realized I forgot my notebook!"
"Nice cover," Julie mumbled under her breath before announcing she would come with me.
"I need to head back to my cabin also, I forgot something too..." Jon said automatically in response to Julie, "it was nice to meet you, Stacy."
We stood up, and with some more phony apologies we quickly left for the girls’ cabin. I led the way with haste, not paying much attention to Jon tagging along again. I had gotten used to him being attached to Julie's hip. Jon took a quick look behind him as he opened the door to our cabin like a gentleman, letting us walk in first. Before entering, he took l last glance behind him to make sure no one was around to see him sneak in.
Julie sat on a vacant bed near the bathroom and opened the window before reaching into the nightstand for a cigarette. Jon sat down next to her. I paced in front of them and ignored the feel of their eyes watching me.
My mind was spinning,
"It's… practically illegal!" I began.
Jon, who had been reaching for Julie's hand to take a drag of her cigarette, stopped to look at me, a very puzzled look on his face, "um… what?"
"She's like…fourteen. And Jason is looking at her with drool foaming at the mouth. He's almost eighteen! That's just… wrong!"
"I think she's fifteen," Julie quietly interjected.
"And, Jason is still seventeen for like, six months," Jon said as he exhaled smoke.
I was ready to retort, "But then he's eighteen! And like, what is she? A midget? She's like a mutant. I've never seen anyone that tiny and proportioned like that. That's like a new breed of human girl. And what's with her? Does she need a pair of pom-poms too? So she can shake them around with her tiny self, rubbing it in how perfect and tiny she is."
"Are you done, sweetie?" Julie asked. Jon shook his head, eyes wide, trying to make sense of my rambling.
"Wait," I said, pausing to think, "yeah. I'm done."
"Well, you realize you're making up a few situations in your head. We just met Stacy three minutes ago; give her a chance. Jason is going to drool over any girl who crosses his path—and that just has to do with him being him. It doesn't even have to do with the fact that being up here doesn't exactly help out with sexual frustrations," Julie cleared her throat and tried not to glance at Jon.
"If you ask me, you just sound a little jeal—" Jon started to say.
"Don't," Julie and I said together.
"What I say?" Jon blinked once at our response.
"There is no jealousy, Jonathan," I said quickly as I walked towards the door, "and this conversation never happened."
Julie
"What… was that?" Jon asked, watching me close the window. I turned around to find him staring at me. I ran my hand nervously through my hair.
"Listen, you may have been sitting in here like one of the girls, but you definitely aren't one of the girls, Jon."
I reached for a bottle of body spray; spraying myself before holding it up to Jon, ready to spray his shirt.
"No, I'm not sitting through classes all day smelling like you," Jon said, reaching for the spray, trying to wrestle it away from my clutches.
"Oh you make it sound like I don't smell good… like it's such a bad thing… to smell like me all day long," I choked out between giggles. I had the spray bottle above my head, as if Jon couldn't easily reach it. Before he did, I sprayed his hand a couple of times and doubled over in laughter.
"Really?" Jon said as he tickled me in retaliation. I got a few solid sprays to Jon's t-shirt before he had me on the bed. I tried to fight back as he tickled me, but was failing.
"Truce, please truce," I gasped for air through laughs.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, you smell great," Jon said before he leaned in, kissed my cheek and stood. He reached down and pulled me to my feet, keeping my hand in his for an extra moment. I broke eye contact as I stepped back to grab my notebook. I needed to break the physical contact. Being around Jon definitely made me nervous, which was a weird experience for me. Guys didn’t make nervous.
I turned to leave the cabin, knowing Jon would follow me, and we walked to class.
JONATHAN
We entered the cafeteria for class and I slid onto the bench next to Julie.
There was something about being with Julie that calmed me down, took away the ever-present anger I felt. Even though she was slightly distracting to have around all the time, it was an easy transition. I liked her being around and I liked being around her.
Lena was standing next to a large cart covered by a blanket. There were strange noises coming from under the cover.
"What's that, Teach?" Anthony asked.
"Everyone sit, I'll get to that in a moment," Lena started, looking around at her class, "where's Marie?" she asked.
No one answered but Lena decided to get started anyway.
"Sex," she said.
"You did it!" Jason said, "You got our attention in one syllable or less."
"Bonehead," Mindy called Jason.
"Ooh," Jason smarted, "bonehead… good one, Davies."
Mindy rolled her eyes, but a flush colored her cheeks.
"Anyway," Lena interrupted, "this will be our only class meeting this week."
"This is getting better and better," Jason said.
Lena ignored him and walked over to the cart, quickly
pulling the blanket away from four bassinets.
"Where do I begin?” Lena pondered to herself, “I know all of you had sex education in your former middle and high schools. I'm sure some of you have had your own sex education," Lena added with a nervous laugh.
"Maybe not all of us," I said throwing a pen cap at Jason. Jason gave me the finger while the class snickered.
"Regardless," Lena said, "this is going to be a serious crash course. We received a donation of these infant simulators. They are not exactly living, breathing babies, but they are crying, laughing, crapping, strange little robots.
"We only got four, they're extremely expensive, so you guys really need to handle them as if they are real live human beings. This lesson isn't going to be so cut and dry. I want to show you some diversity so you can understand all walks of life."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Anthony asked warily.
"So it's 2015, right?" Lena started, "What kind of couples are there now?"
"Unhappy ones," Julie commented.
"Yeah, how many happy couples are there anymore?" Mindy chimed in, "isn't it one in two marriages that end in divorce now?"
"My parents are divorced," I added to prove her point.
"My parents are still married, happily married actually," Anthony stated.
"Good for them, but you have to admit that's a rare situation," Mindy rebutted.
"I'm not going to say that I love how jaded you guys are, but you are definitely getting my point. Anyone else? Any other familial situations you can think of?" Lena pushed us to have more conversation.
"What about gay couples," Stacy piped up with a smile, "Gay couples are able to get married now, adopt kids. And what about all the women who are having kids with a sperm sample or adopting kids on their own, without a partner."
"That's not a relationship," Mindy interjected sharply.
"But what if it is a new form of relationship? It’s certainly the new American family dynamic," Lena encouraged, "that's what I mean. I want you to all learn about all these different walks of life in terms of family life nowadays. It's not just the nuclear family ideal anymore, and I think you're all aware of that.
"The gay couple, the teen couple, the single mom who was left with the kids, the single mom by choice. These are the family lives that are out there now."
"But there still are couples who love each other and get married and have the perfect life," Stacy insisted.
"Yeah, but those are never going to be the lives we have, hon," Mindy said, surprising even herself with the amount of pessimism.
"Okay Min, since you have definitely taken the roll as the cynic here, there's one more path we haven't touched upon and this is the woman alone. The woman who has no relationship, keeps everyone at an arm's length away, chooses not to find love, not to have kids. Maybe she can't have kids.
"Whatever her story is, Mindy, you will be the single female. Pick an angle, whichever one you want, and go with it."
Mindy sat there confused and staring, maybe glaring, at Lena.
"Jay, I'm going to pair you with Stacy. Stacy, you wanted to be the advocate for the nuclear couple, you got it. But here's the twist: due to the economy, Jason was laid off and you now have to start working to help out the family."
"See how fast the love lasts then," Julie said with a cynical laugh.
"Jon and Julie, you will be our teen couple. You chose not to abort, not to put up for adoption, you had a kid and now you have to cope with that. You have to figure out if you're going to school, where you're living, all of that fun stuff.
"Chris and… Anthony. You two—"
"Hold up!" Anthony cut Lena off, "you're pairing us together?"
"What, I'm not your type?" Chris said, batting his eyelashes at Tony, making everyone laugh. Even Mindy cracked a smile at that.
"I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but do I really have to be the token gay guy in this experiment?"
"Don't take it personally, Tony, it's just an assignment," Lena said.
"Does that mean Marie's a lesbian with Michelle?" Julie asked, pointing out that there were two missing female Mountain Climbers.
"Well, Michelle is actually not in on this assignment this week, she's already participated in this one a couple years ago. That's why she's not here. And I don't know where Marie is, but she will be playing the part of single mom, left by her boyfriend-slash-baby-daddy."
"Hold on, that's not fair," Mindy said. Everyone turned to look at her again, "Marie's not even here, but she still gets to have a kid and a dirt bag ex? But I'm stuck completely alone?"
"Listen, Mindy, like I said, this is just an assignment. This has no correlation to real life," Lena said.
Mindy didn't say anything, just shrugged. This day had pretty much hit its low point for her.
Mindy
I walked back to the cabin, completely let down by the assignment. I wanted to be alone – call it practice for the project, practice for life. I couldn't help how my thoughts turned darker by the hour. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I needed to sit and think.
"Davies—wait up," I heard Jason calling after me. I slowed to allow him to catch up.
"What's up," I asked him.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Jason smarted, "Stacy was a little upset before class… she thinks you hate her."
"What?" I exclaimed, "Why? Because I got up and left to go get my notebook before? Jon and Julie came with! Why doesn't she care about them?"
Jason turned me around by the shoulders to show me Jon and Julie with the rest of the group hanging out and talking to Stacy. The word "traitor" flashed across my brain. I hoped it didn't flash across my face too.
"You're the only one not trying to talk to her and make her feel welcome," Jason said.
"Jason, I don't have a problem with her," I said.
"Then what do you have a problem with, cause you've had an attitude all day?" Jason demanded, getting annoyed.
"Right now… pretty much just you," I responded, turning and walking off. I thought Jason would follow. But he didn't. He left me alone.
As I walked into the empty cabin, I had a fleeting thought that maybe I was causing this. It was my fault that I was alone. I didn't know why I did this. It was just a habit I had, a defense mechanism. Sometimes it was just easier to shut everyone out and spend time alone. No one cared about the way I felt, so why not just hide out. Jason was already too close, knew too much about me.
Being alone was easier than dealing with feelings about Jason.
But how did I really feel? I wasn't sure. Was it jealousy? That Jason thought I was more like a sister than someone he could actually like?
"God, I'm pathetic," I muttered, flopping onto my bed.
Chapter Four
“Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards.”
JON
It was three days into the baby project and I was at my breaking point. This doll-baby cried constantly and we couldn’t get more than a couple hours of sleep a night. At about four in the morning the first night, Julie came straight into the boys’ cabin, shook me awake, handed me the robot and walked out without a word. Naturally, I was pissed. Since Chris and Tony were sharing a doll, I had only been asleep for about an hour before my own screaming monster-bot interrupted my sleep.
After that, we decided on torturing each other by attempting to sleep in the common room. This way neither of us got sleep and we were miserable and at each other’s throats.
Of course, to top it off, we had to write a paper together.
When the project started, I was excited for the chance to get to know more about Julie. Those feelings quickly dissipated as my sleep deprivation kicked in. If I was short tempered to begin with, lack of sleep just heightened my bad attitude.
The baby had finally fallen asleep and we had a chance to pull out the assignment.
“These questions are a little personal,” Julie commented to herself, sca
nning the list. This project was meant to put more trust in each other. It was meant to strengthen bonds within our group. It was about opening up to our teammates and all that jazz, but I knew it was a lot to ask her to speak about these topics. Horizons was too new for Julie—she wasn’t ready to discuss everything.
I wanted to comfort her, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I felt like with my irritability, the best thing was to keep quiet around Julie. Keeping her an arms length away was better than snapping at her and being the jerk I innately was.
Julie
My initial excitement to work with Jon quickly vanished. As I read the question list, I found myself wishing that I were working with Chris. He at least had a handle on some of my demons. I wasn’t scared to talk to Chris the way I was talking to Jon. Sometimes talking to Jon was like walking on eggshells.
The more time we spent together, the more I seemed to annoy him. It didn’t make sense when a few days prior, he seemed to enjoy having me around. I tried to tell myself that it was stress from the baby. Isn’t that what babies did?
“I’m just going to take a quick break, are you okay with the baby?” I asked. I needed a minute to think now that I saw the questions. I needed a game plan.
“I’ll be right back,” I said quickly before gauging Jon’s reaction.
I walked out to the main hall and saw Chris sitting on a couch in the corner. It wasn’t where our group typically hung out.
“Trying to hide from the hubs?” I accused, leaning over the back of the couch. Chris slowly turned his head to me; I was again impressed that he didn’t startle. The kid was tougher than he looked. Must have been that military background from his father.
“You look tired,” he commented, a smirk on his face.
“Oh gee, thanks,” I said with an eye roll, coming around to sit next to him, “you charmer you. I know that’s guy code for: you look like shit.”
“So how you doing with Prince Charming and the baby?” he asked. We still hadn’t outwardly spoken about my breakdown and it lingered between us.
“That sounds like a new age fairy tale,” I shrugged, “This project makes us fight too much. So getting into serious project questions has yet to happen. I guess there’s still time.”
Unsound (Horizons #1) Page 11