I followed him into the kitchen, where he grabbed one of my beers from the fridge. He snapped it open and tossed me a can.
“Gage, I’m not really in the mood for games right now. So, please.”
“Cole.” He shook his head at me. “I never play games with you. Know that. If there is any game to be played, it won’t be with me.”
“Why are you here?” I asked.
He took a swig of the beer and walked back to me. “You nearly proved me wrong, very nearly. I want to know what happened. Why did you stop?”
“Thought you’d be happy to be right.”
“You want me to be happy that my cousin is hurting?” he retorted.
“No.”
“Then don’t talk shit like that to me. I saw you with her. I have seen you with her this whole time, and suddenly you just decide that it’s best you’re not with her. Why’d you bother?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I came back, and I was the asshole I’ve always been.”
“Why did you ever bother? This isn’t just about recent months. This goes as far back as middle school. You have the same look, and you never tried to be better than what you were. You were just an asshole who couldn’t give goodness a chance. You couldn’t admit back then that you love her, and you can’t now.”
My breath stilled. There was no way I’d believe that Gage of all people guessed that.
“Gage, it’s not that simple. There are just some things you should leave alone. I see that now, and you’re right. I love her. It’s not enough though.”
“Make it be enough. Why the hell wouldn’t it fucking be enough?”
I stared him down. “Gage, you know what kind of person I am. I was an ass to you back in high school and am an ass now. I don’t want to hurt Vanessa the way my father hurt my mother.”
“What are you saying? So, you plan to cheat?”
“No, I would never,” I shot back
“Fuck! Cole, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re actually planning to fail, giving up before you’ve even really tried,” he shouted, and his voice echoed within me. Reverberating through the fibers of my being like it did the walls surrounding us.
“Gage—”
He held up his hand and cut me off. “No! I’m going to tell you something I shouldn’t because it’s not my place. It’s none of my business and she’ll probably hate me for doing this, but I’m going to do it anyway. I’m making it my business because it’s her. So, I’m going to cut you some slack and do you a favor. I’m going to point out what you can’t see. You love her, and she loves you. It’s enough. It has to be because right now she needs you. Cole, she needs you. Vanessa’s pregnant…She needs you.”
A stone dropped in the pit of my stomach, and the blood drained from my face.
“What?”
“You heard me. She’s pregnant. Now, you can do what you want with that information. You can run away like a coward and not try to be a better man than both our fathers, or you can just be you and do what you said you’d do when you told me you wouldn’t hurt her. That day, you looked at me like you were going to prove my ass wrong, and you did. It doesn’t matter what happened after or who said what. Cole, the damn past doesn’t matter. What matters is now and what you do next. She told me you apologized for being with her, but you act like she didn’t know all that stuff about you already. She knew it all and still loved you anyway. Right from way back when. Vanessa still loved you anyway. She still loves you now. So, what next, Cole?”
My mouth opened to talk, but no words came out.
There was nothing to think about.
What next?
Something snapped in me, and I literally saw everything flash before me. That first day I saw her at middle school. Her mother had just dropped her off with her sisters. Like an idiot, I stood in the field watching her. Just looking at the flawless being before me. I wanted so badly to talk to her, but I didn’t because I was the bully. I was afraid she wouldn’t like me. Every time after that when I saw her, it was always the same, and the truth was, it wasn’t her watching me. It was me watching her.
Always feeling like I wasn’t good enough.
I was doing it again now. But I was a bigger fool this time because I actually knew what it was like to be with her and let her go not knowing how much I loved her.
I set the beer down, gave Gage one last look, and left him standing in my kitchen.
I rushed out to my truck, jumped straight in and drove like a maniac straight to Vanessa’s house.
I must have run three red lights on the way over here.
That autopilot mechanism kicked in enough for me to drive and chipped out when I jumped out of my truck and went into her house.
I found her out back in her garden, sitting on the bench by the roses. She was staring out into the space before her. Just looking on, with tears in her eyes.
As I watched her, I decided this was the last time I did this.
No more watching.
No more wondering.
It was going to be the last time that I looked and wondered what my life would be like with her in it.
I already knew.
My girl was sitting right there, pregnant with my child.
She was mine. She always had been, and it was time she knew I had always been hers too.
Chapter 23
Vanessa
I’d gotten so used to the numbness now that it felt like it was a part of me.
Two days of me knowing I was pregnant, and I wasn’t doing a very good job. If I wasn’t crying, I had my head in the toilet throwing everything up.
The strain and drain on my body made it difficult to feel any form of joy for the life growing inside me.
I was in complete shock, and it might have taken me longer than I wanted, but as freaked as I was, that knowledge of having life in me was there, and I knew eventually, once the shock passed, I’d be able to be as happy as I wanted to feel.
I’d come out in the garden to sit just to get some fresh air.
My mom would be coming around later, and I suppose everyone else.
I wasn’t alone, and yet I felt alone because all I could think of was Cole. I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell him, and honestly, I was in two minds about it.
A sudden movement caught my attention, making me jump, and I turned to see him walking toward me.
I nearly thought I was imagining him. It wouldn’t have been impossible with the way I felt.
It wasn’t until he got up to me, stood before me, and dropped to his knees that I realized he was actually here.
There was a look of determination in his eyes that gripped me more than anything because I’d never seen it before.
He took my hands into his and held them.
The numbness was screwing with my thoughts because if I was at my normal self and health, I would have asked him what he was doing here. Even if my heart was so happy to see him it was doing somersaults, I would have still asked the question.
“Vanessa,” he began and tightened his grip on my hands.
“Cole, if this is one of your visits to screw with my mind, please save it. Not today. Just leave me. Just leave me alone.” That was the most words I had strength for because the last time I saw him had been so awful.
It was clear he felt bad, and if he was here to give me more of an explanation of why he couldn’t give me what I needed, I didn’t want to hear it.
“It’s not, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” He nodded.
A tear ran down my cheek. “As usual, I can’t tell what you mean. I don’t know what you’re sorry for. The last time, you apologized for being with me. Do you know how horrible that made me feel?”
He hung his head, and when he returned his gaze to me, the determination I’d seen was even stronger.
“I thought I was doing the right thing for you. When you were sixteen and you came to me that night, I turned you away because I wasn’t good enough for you.”
>
My jaw actually dropped. “What?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t good enough for you Vanessa, and I thought you could do better. I thought a better guy than me should be the one to take something as precious as your innocence from you. That’s the truth.”
“You thought you weren’t good enough to be with me?” I couldn’t believe it, and if this were months ago, I wouldn’t have believed him. If he’d said something like this to me before we got together, I would have thought he was joking around.
“Vanessa, you’re a good person. One of the best I know. You always were. To me, you were an angel. This pure being of goodness that I couldn’t have, as much as I wanted you.”
“I can’t believe that’s what you thought,” I gasped.
He nodded. “And it’s the same thing again. I’ve done so many crazy things in my life. The bet with Denver was shit, Vanessa. It wasn’t anything, and it wasn’t done in the way he made it sound. I was just looking for more of an excuse to be with you. Any excuse, and damn, did I ever shove my foot through the door when I found out about the article. It was killing several birds with one stone. All of that was just an excuse. When I saw you again after so many years, I wanted you all over again, and that part of me pushed through everything else that was true about me.” He stopped and pulled in a deep breath. “All that stuff online is true. All of it, and maybe there are a lot of similarities between me and my father, but I’m not him. I’m not him because I don’t want to be.”
I smoothed my fingers through his. “You’re you,” I told him. “Cole, I read that stuff online for myself. I did. It wasn’t like it was some secret, and I’m not blind; I saw all that was going on, but to me all that stuff wasn’t the man I saw when I looked at you. All of that stuff wasn’t the guy I was with.” That was why I’d pursued anything with him. “Of course, I was scared at first, but not enough to stop me from being with you. The bet pissed me off. I won’t lie about that, and I won’t pretend that what Denver said didn’t faze me. He talked about everything I was scared of. It was like he could read my mind. But what hurt more was you telling me you couldn’t give me what I needed because it was like you were confirming what he said. I don’t know what it was you thought I needed, but I just needed you.”
Now his eyes filled with tears, and they spilled down his cheeks, mingling with the shadow of his beard.
“You have me… All of me. Every part of me and what makes me, me. It’s yours. Always has been. It’s all I have to give. And my love. I love you,” he breathed, and the numb feeling that had taken residence in my soul for the last few days lifted. His words set me free and unlocked my heart. “I love you, Vanessa Cartwright. That was what I should have told you a long time ago.” He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
I smiled at him, relishing the warmth that glowed from deep in my soul from the beauty in his words.
“I love you too, Cole. I do.” It was nice to finally tell him.
He released my hands and touched my face. “Thank you. I feel honored to hear that. Vanessa… I don’t want you to do better than me. I want to be the better you deserve.” A serious expression washed over his face, and he looked down at my stomach. My breathing stilled when he touched my stomach and ran his hand over the flat surface. He knew. I didn’t know who told him, but he knew.
My mind ran on Gage. Gage who’d been with me right from I did the pregnancy test and watched me fall apart. While my sisters were all there and everyone was milling around me to help in the days that followed, Gage saw how broken I was. How crushed I’d been, and it wasn’t purely from the shock of finding out I was pregnant. It was also from losing Cole.
Gage would have been the only person I knew who’d intervene and make that step to tell him.
“You know…” I spoke barely above a whisper.
“I know.” He nodded. “And I want to be the kind of father this baby deserves. Most of all, I want to be the guy to make you happy for the rest of your life. That is all I want. Can you give me a chance to try?”
“Yes.” The answer would always be yes. “Yes, Cole.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me close to his heart.
He’d always talked about me being his. I’d felt it many times.
This was the first time he felt like mine.
Mine for keeps, forever.
Epilogue
Cole
Eight months later …
“Goddess, keep still and stop making that face at me.” I chuckled while Vanessa frowned.
“I look fat,” she complained. “Worse than a troll.”
As usual, I just gave her a look that showed her I wouldn’t be swayed.
“You look beautiful. Can’t you humor a humble artist who wants a painting of his pregnant wife?”
She pretended to look annoyed, but I knew she wasn’t.
Maybe just about the part where I was painting her, but not the rest. We both had our own excitement over being married and having our baby. We each just had different ways of showing it.
Painting even more pictures of her was what I did when I wasn’t showing her off to the world.
That part I did every chance I got.
The Centaurs sadly did not win the Super Bowl this year, but I never took it to heart.
My girl was my biggest accomplishment and what I looked forward to everyday.
I’d showed her off right from the day I proposed, to our wedding on the beautiful white sandy beach of Barbados. We’d been married now for six months, and every day was amazing.
While the Internet was filled with images of us, my gallery was filled with more paintings of her. Just like years ago, I didn’t need an excuse to paint her, but I would definitely admit that the way her body was changing with her ever-growing bump truly fascinated me, and I made sure I captured all of it.
Her when her bump started to show, her six months pregnant when her stomach was full and round, and now her heavily pregnant like she was ready to drop.
All beautiful.
I took a moment to appreciate what I had with her. My beautiful, beautiful wife stood before me naked against the backdrop of the long windows and the view of the willow trees swaying in the breeze in the night.
She looked every bit the goddess she was with her hair flowing against her bare skin.
She’d turned to the side so I could get the full view of her baby bump and covered her breasts with her hands.
I was hoping to get one last one before our son was born.
Our son.
We were having a boy, and I couldn’t wait to meet him.
I wondered if he’d want to play football like me, or paint. Maybe both. Or, maybe he’d be like her.
“You’re looking at me weird again, so I’m guessing you’re happy,” she stated, glancing at me.
“I’m happy.”
Everything was wonderful.
“You better be. I’ve been standing like this for twenty minutes.” She giggled. “Any longer, and this baby will be born here.”
“Five more minutes, and I’ll give you a foot rub and bake you hot fudge chocolate cookies.”
Her eyes lit up at that.
“Oh, I love the sound of that.”
“I love that you love the sound of that,” I teased.
“I love you.” She smiled, and her cheeks tickled that rose color I loved.
“I love you too.” I was about to make the outline on her painting for her wings, but I stopped. I stopped and looked from her to the painting and smiled wider as a thought occurred to me to be different this time.
No wings today.
She didn’t need them.
The angel or naked fairy. They were both her. I didn’t need to do anything to highlight any distinction.
Beautiful and perfect was her. She didn’t need wings for anyone to see she was this magical being in my life that had changed me in so many ways.
All you had to do was look at her just the way she was, and it
was there.
The radiant sparkle in her emerald eyes. The soft ivory of her skin. The rose tinting her cheeks. The glow that came from her heart. The essence of perfection that came from her soul.
It was all her, and she was mine.
My girl, my wife.
I decided I was going to leave this painting just as it was.
Thank you so much for reading.
I hope you enjoyed Cole and Vanessa’s story.
Stay tuned for Gage and Becca’s story in The Ex-Stepsister.
For all the Bad Boy Bachelor fun and crazy adventures of the Cartwright sisters grab the rest of the series.
Acknowledgments
To my readers.
Where would I be without you….
This one’s for all of you.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support, and for reading my stories.
Hugs and LOVE xx
About the Author
Khardine Gray is a USA Today Bestselling author who writes hot contemporary romance and romantic suspense.
Her books have drool worthy heroes who will make you melt, and sassy, fun loving, ambitious heroines.
She loves writing and simply adores her readers.
Keep up with all the new releases by signing up to her readers list at http://www.subscribepage.com/f4u3v9
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Not Before Game Night (Bad Boy Bachelors of Orange County Book 4) Page 17