Hidden Love

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘Rachel…!’

  ‘You aren’t going to deny me?’ Tears shimmered in her eyes.

  ‘Never again.’ He strained her to him. ‘I’m never going to let you leave me again.’

  What followed was the most beautiful experience Rachel had ever known. Their lovemaking reached the very pinnacle of unity, a oneness that came from mutual love and mutual desire.

  Afterwards she lay in Nick’s arms, her head resting on his chest, their arms still around each other, as if they were afraid they would lose each other again.

  ‘You love me too.’ Nick’s chest moved beneath her as he spoke.

  ‘Yes,’ she confirmed huskily.

  ‘How long? How long have you loved me?’

  ‘From the beginning, like you.’

  He moved so that they were facing each other, frowning disbelievingly. ‘Then why didn’t you tell me? Show me?’

  ‘Why didn’t you?’ she teased gently.

  ‘Pride,’ he sighed heavily. ‘I loved you, and yet I mistrusted the emotion, and you along with it. When we met I knew I was deeply attracted to you, that I wanted to sleep with you, and that night, after I lost the semi-final, you made no objection when I said I wanted to spend the night with you.’

  ‘I thought you just meant the evening.’ Rachel blushed at her naïveté.

  Nick’s mouth quirked with amusement. ‘You little baby!’

  ‘Well, I wasn’t to know,’ she said indignatly. ‘I wasn’t used to dating sophisticated men who thought nothing of going to bed with a woman on such short acquaintance.’

  ‘Shorter, sometimes,’ he mocked.

  ‘Boastful!’

  ‘Honest,’ he corrected softly. ‘I haven’t been a saint—’

  ‘Oh, I know that!’

  ‘But then I hadn’t been Casanova either,’ he said sternly. ‘You came along with your sweetness and beauty, tempting me beyond endurance. I had no idea you were an innocent, I didn’t think there were any left. Then when I made love to you and found you untouched—! My mind went off at a tangent. There was that boy you were with in the park, kissing you quite passionately, according to Kay—’

  ‘Nick, I wasn’t kissing Danny,’ she insisted firmly. ‘In fact I was trying to find some way to make him stop kissing me when I saw Kay needed help.’

  ‘You don’t have to tell me this—’

  ‘But it’s the truth. Really, Nick,’ she looked at him pleadingly.

  ‘Well, I wasn’t to know that at the time,’ he sighed. ‘I took that fact, added to the way you responded to me, the way you didn’t deny wanting to spend the night with me—’

  ‘And decided I was trying to trick you in some way.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said tersely. ‘With my background—’

  ‘Which I had no knowledge of. I had no idea of the way your parents treated you, Nick,’ she touched his cheek as if to take away the past pain. ‘Or of your adoption. Suzy told me at the wedding.’

  ‘The wedding?’

  ‘Yes,’ Rachel nodded. ‘You know we went out into the garden together. Don’t you remember, I told you we’d been talking about you?’

  ‘And that was it?’ he frowned. ‘That’s what you were talking about?’

  ‘Yes. Suzy thought I ought to know the reason you hated me so much. Plus your own plans for a wedding,’ she added questioningly.

  ‘Suzy and me?’ Nick exclaimed.

  She swallowed hard. ‘Wasn’t it true?’

  ‘Never,’ he shook his head dazedly. ‘But she told you it was?’

  Rachel nodded. ‘Plus all the hundreds of times she could have trapped you into marriage the same way.’

  ‘You told her the reason we were getting married?’

  ‘No, you did,’ she frowned.

  ‘No,’ he denied huskily, ‘I didn’t tell anyone. Maybe she guessed?’

  ‘It isn’t the sort of thing you would just guess!’ she scorned. ‘You must have told her, Nick.’

  ‘No,’ he insisted. ‘Maybe she tried a long shot and you fell for it? Suzy can be a devious little cat when she wants to be.’

  Looking back on the conversation, Rachel realised she could have told Suzy more than she actually knew, could have fallen into a trap, as Nick said. One thing was sure, she believed Nick when he said he hadn’t told the other woman.

  ‘But you did sleep with her when you went away to play tennis,’ she said with remembered pain.

  ‘I’ve never slept with Suzy,’ he rasped. ‘And certainly not when I was away playing tennis. I was married to you.’

  Rachel frowned. ‘But that time you telephoned me she asked you if you were ready to go to dinner. You even made your call to me in front of her!’

  ‘I was in the bedroom—’

  ‘That just makes it worse!’ she choked.

  ‘And Suzy and her father were in the lounge,’ he explained gently. ‘I had a suite, and I went into the bedroom to call you while they waited for me. Was she the reason you wouldn’t join me in Canada?’ he frowned suddenly.

  ‘Yes.’

  He gave a deep sigh. ‘I’m beginning to think I may have underestimated Suzy all these years. She certainly seems to have been behind a lot of our troubles.’

  ‘I think our mistrust of each other was behind that,’ Rachel said ruefully.

  ‘Maybe, but Suzy helped things along a bit. Was it you who told the newspaper about our marriage?’

  ‘I talked to the reporter, but someone else had already told her about us.’

  ‘And as Suzy was the one who put the seed of doubt in my mind I would hazard a guess that she was the one who put the word out. God, when I found out about the newspaper story I was so damned mad—’

  ‘I noticed,’ she grimaced.

  ‘I thought you were tricking me like my mother tricked my father. I wanted you with me in Canada because I couldn’t play for thinking of you, I thought you were really coming to care for me, and then that story appeared…! I could have strangled you!’ Nick groaned. ‘The worst of it was, it was all true. You were more important to me than tennis, than anything, and being without you was agony.’

  ‘You could have taken me with you.’ Rachel played with the glistening golden hair on his chest.

  ‘When I left I didn’t think it was a good idea, I found it hard to keep my hands off you at the best of times,’ he admitted huskily. ‘But being away from you was worse the second time. By the end of the first week I was climbing the wall. My tennis was appalling!’

  ‘Why did you decide to come and see me now, Nick? Why now? It’s been two years.’

  ‘God, don’t I know it! I thought maybe by now you might have forgiven me.’ He gently caressed her thigh as they talked.

  ‘For what?’

  ‘For telling you to get out of my life. I didn’t really mean it. But we’re back together now,’ his arms tightened about her. ‘I can hardly believe it.’

  Neither could Rachel. She had never thought they could be so happy, not even in her wildest imaginings. And it was going to go on and on…

  ‘The first thing you have to do is tell this Matthew things are over between you,’ Nick continued. ‘I can’t say I like the idea of your having slept with another man, but that’s in the past now. I was no angel before I met you, and you’re a lot younger than me—What’s wrong? Where are you going?’ he groaned as she sat up in the bed.

  Matthew! Heavens, she had forgotten all about Matthew—Nick’s son. Her son. What was Nick going to do when he knew they had a child, a child she had kept hidden from him for two years? Her happiness suddenly seemed a frail thing.

  ‘Rachel, I’m not angry.’ He swung out of bed, pulling on a robe to come over to where she was frantically pulling on her clothes. ‘We were separated, you were free to sleep with whoever you want to.’

  Rachel looked up at him with pained eyes. ‘Did you?’

  ‘No one,’ his eyes were gentle. ‘No one at all. But I don’t condemn you. I just want you to finish with this Mat
thew and—’

  ‘I can’t,’ she choked, straightening. ‘I can’t ever give him up. You see—’

  ‘You can’t mean that,’ Nick gasped. ‘Rachel, you can’t want us both!’

  ‘But I do. You see—’

  ‘For God’s sake don’t say any more.’ He was very pale. ‘You love him, is that it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you just said you love me,’ he groaned.

  ‘I do—’

  ‘Hell, you can’t love us both, want us both!’

  ‘But I do. Nick, just let me explain—’

  ‘I don’t want to know!’ He thrust her away from him. ‘I have to get myself a drink,’ he muttered, turning to leave the room.

  ‘Nick—’

  ‘Get out, Rachel,’ he ordered harshly. ‘And this time I never want to see you again.’

  ‘Nick—’

  ‘Ever!’ he shouted vehemently, and slammed out of the room.

  Rachel trembled at his anger. She had handled this badly, so badly, and now there seemed only one thing left to do.

  She left quietly, the chink of glass in the lounge telling her that Nick was still drinking. She hoped he wouldn’t be too drunk to listen to her when she got back.

  Matthew had spent the day with her mother because of his accident, and he was still asleep from his nap when she got home, delaying her return to Nick’s apartment. One thing guaranteed to put Matthew in a bad mood was a forced wakening from his nap, and she wanted him his usual sunny self when he met his father for the first time.

  ‘Anything wrong, dear?’ her mother asked as Rachel paced the room waiting for Matthew to wake.

  She felt a little embarrassed as she told her mother what had happened that afternoon, although she could tell her mother wholeheartedly approved of the fact that she and Nick were, she hoped, getting back together.

  ‘If he can forgive me for Matthew,’ she added anxiously.

  ‘Forgive you?’ Her mother raised her eyebrows. ‘The silly man made it impossible for you to stay with him!’

  ‘Yes,’ Rachel agreed ruefully. ‘I think I heard Matthew,’ she brightened.

  ‘So did I,’ her mother nodded. ‘I—’ the doorbell rang. ‘You answer the door, I’ll see to Matthew.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Go along, dear. I’ll give Matthew a drink while you get ready to go out.’

  Rachel was frowning as she opened the door, but the frown soon turned to a gasp of amazement. ‘Nick…!’

  He was very pale, deep lines beside his nose and mouth—and surprisingly sober. ‘Can I come in?’ His voice was gruff.

  ‘Of course.’ She held the door open. ‘I—Why are you here?’

  ‘Because I knew you wouldn’t come back,’ he rasped. ‘You can keep him, Rachel,’ he told her abruptly, the strain he was under intense. ‘If the only way I can keep you is by sharing you then that’s what I’ll do.’

  She looked up into his proud face, knowing the effort his words cost him, tears flooding her eyes. ‘Oh, Nick—’

  ‘Don’t pity me, Rachel,’ he said tautly. ‘And don’t ever tell me anything about this Matthew. You can see him, but I don’t want to know about it.’

  ‘Nick, please,’ she touched his arm. ‘Come and meet Matthew.’

  He tensed beneath her hand. ‘You mean he’s here?’

  ‘With my mother,’ she nodded.

  ‘My God, you didn’t waste much time!’ His expression was grim.

  ‘Please come and meet him, Nick,’ she pulled him along with her. ‘It isn’t what you think.’

  ‘For God’s sake, Rachel—’

  By this time she had him in the lounge, Matthew was playing on the carpeted floor on his own while her mother was preparing the chocolate milk shake he was so fond of.

  ‘My God—!’ Nick muttered dazedly. ‘Rachel…?’

  ‘Mummy! Mummy!’ Matthew had turned and seen them, running into Rachel’s waiting arms, hiding his face in her throat as he saw the stranger with her.

  She heard Nick gasp at her side, and was terrified to look up, not knowing whether she would see condemnation or pleasure on his face. ‘Yes, it’s Mummy, darling,’ she took the safe course and spoke to Matthew. ‘Did you have a nice nap?’

  Matthew had eyes only for Nick now. ‘Man,’ he announced proudly.

  ‘Yes,’ she gave a choked laugh.

  ‘Rachel, is this—Can he be—’

  ‘Let the man hold you, Matthew.’ She held her son out to Nick.

  For a moment Matthew hesitated, then he went eagerly into his father’s arms, his shyness, as usual, not lasting long.

  Nick looked down at him in dazed wonder, at eyes as grey as Rachel’s, but the golden hair and features all his own. Matthew grinned at him as he investigated the recesses of his ear.

  ‘Don’t do that to Daddy, darling.’ Rachel gently removed his fingers.

  ‘My God, it is!’ Nick choked.

  Rachel still couldn’t look at him, concentrating all her attention on Matthew. ‘I said no, Matthew,’ she repeated sternly. ‘Daddy doesn’t like his ears poked.’

  ‘Daddy,’ he repeated triumphantly.

  ‘Very clever,’ she gave a choked laugh. ‘Clever boy, Matthew!’

  ‘Dad-dy. Daddy,’ he beamed.

  ‘Oh dear, now what have we started?’ she teased lightly.

  Nick drew in a ragged breath. ‘He’s my son!’

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded, her eyes downcast.

  ‘Why, Rachel? Why?’

  She didn’t pretend not to know what he meant, her eyes flashing as she looked up at him for the first time, a greyness to his skin now, a look of wonder in his eyes as he looked at Matthew, as he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off him.

  ‘I have my pride too, Nick,’ she sighed. ‘And I had no intention of staying with you once I knew I was pregnant. You see, I knew how much I loved you by that time, how much it would hurt me to be your wife on sufference. I was wrong to deny you your son, I know that, it was completely selfish of me, but I—’

  ‘If you were selfish so was I,’ Nick stopped her condemnation mid-flow. ‘Rachel, our child—Matthew,’ he smiled down shakily at his son with love. ‘Matthew could have been conceived after we were married,’ he told her steadily.

  ‘After…?’ she repeated dazedly.

  ‘My naïve little baby,’ he chided gently, touching her cheek with loving fingers. ‘You know nothing, do you? I didn’t try to prevent a child between us, not before or after we were married.’

  ‘I don’t understand…’ She shook her head in puzzlement.

  ‘It’s quite simple, Rachel. I wanted you to become pregnant, to keep you with me, to have you as my wife without admitting to the weakness of loving you. I had no idea that being pregnant by me was the one thing guaranteed to take you away from me.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘And how do you feel about loving me now? Do you still feel it’s a weakness?’ She held her breath as she waited for his answer.

  Nick smiled, a warm loving smile that held back none of his emotions. ‘With you at my side I could capture the world.’ His voice was strong and commanding. ‘With you and Matthew at my side I could capture the universe!’ He was suddenly serious. ‘Will you be at my side, both of you?’

  ‘Daddy!’ Matthew shouted once again, obviously feeling he had been ignored long enough.

  Rachel gave a husky laugh. ‘Well, he seems to have made his mind up.’

  Nick’s expression was content. ‘And you—have you made your mind up?’

  She gave him a clear untroubled smile. ‘I never had a choice—and I never wanted one.’

  ‘I love you,’ Nick groaned.

  ‘I love you too.’

  ‘Later on tonight I’d like to show you how much,’ he questioned.

  She raised teasing eyebrows. ‘I don’t know how Matthew will feel about that. You see, up to now he’s shared my room with me.’

  ‘And you let me think—! You, Mrs St Clare, are not
going to get any sleep tonight, you’re going to be showing me how sorry you are for deceiving me,’ he warned.

  A loud cough from the hallway heralded her mother’s entrance with Matthew’s milk, obviously feeling she had waited in the kitchen long enough to give them the time they needed to sort things out between them. Matthew struggled to go down to the floor, drinking the milk shake down thirstily.

  ‘Greedy little devil, isn’t he?’ Nick murmured proudly.

  ‘Like his father,’ she nodded absently. ‘Nick—’

  His hand grasped hers understandingly. ‘This is a new beginning for us, Rachel. The past is forgotten. Yes?’

  ‘Yes,’ she agreed fervently.

  ‘Only one thing hasn’t changed, our love for each other, only this time we won’t keep it hidden. And who knows,’ he added teasingly, ‘Matthew may be going to have a brother or sister because of this afternoon.’

  ‘Not again!’ Rachel groaned.

  ‘I’d be with you this time, Rachel.’ Nick’s hand tightened painfully. ‘From now on I’ll always be with you.’

  It was a promise for the future, and one Rachel readily accepted.

  * * * * *

  Now, read on for a tantalizing excerpt of New York Times bestselling author

  Maisey Yates’s new release,

  THE PRINCE’S CAPTIVE VIRGIN

  The first book in her new Once Upon a Seduction…series!

  Ruthless prince Adam Katsaros offers Belle a deal—he’ll release her father if she becomes his mistress! Adam’s gaze awakens a heated desire in Belle. Her innocent beauty might redeem his royal reputation—but can she tame the beast inside?

  Read on to get a glimpse of

  THE PRINCE’S CAPTIVE VIRGIN

  CHAPTER ONE

  Once upon a time…

  BELLE LOOKED UP at the imposing castle and tightened her coat more firmly around her petite frame. It was surprisingly chilly tonight on the small island country nestled in the Aegean Sea between Greece and Turkey.

  Of course, when she had first heard of Olympios she had been put in mind of the Mediterranean. Bright white homes and searing blue skies and seas. And perhaps, in the daytime, that was what it was. But here at night, with the velvet darkness settled low around her and that damp air blowing in from the ocean, it felt like something completely unexpected.