“Why am I on a list of dead people?”
Ryder sat up, and pulled his pants on. He glanced at me, but then quickly looked away.
“Don’t shut me out now. Talk to me. These people,” I touched the black ink along his ribs. “Are dead. Why is my name with them?”
He closed his eyes tight as if telling me it physically hurt him. “You had to be dead. I needed to think that way. It was the only way I could move on.” He ran his hands through his hair. “You don’t understand. When you left… my world collapsed. Those people that you hated? They’re the reason I’m alive. I fell into a downward spiral, and it was dark and ugly and I didn’t care if I died. They saved me from myself. And when I finally decided to get a hold of my life, I realized the only way to do that was to let you go. Entirely.”
Emotions ran rapid as tears pricked my eyes, and forced their way out. I never thought about what my leaving had done to those I loved. If anything had happened to Ryder, I never would have forgiven myself.
I wrapped my arms around him, and kissed his bare shoulder. “I am so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re back now.”
EIGHT
Ryder
Church came into session, and I knew the topic on the table was going to have me lose my fucking cool. I lit a cigarette in an attempt to calm my fucking nerves before things got heated.
Rogue cleared his throat, and I leaned back in my seat, waiting for the ball to drop.
“Trista, you have something to say?”
“We think we know who the rat is.”
Everybody sat at attention, and I curled my lip in her direction. I couldn’t believe she was about to throw Sawyer, a girl who she used to love and trust with her life, under a fucking bus. Anger surged through me, and it took everything in my power not to leap across the table and tackle her like I did when we were kids.
“It’s Sawyer.” Her voice was matter-of-factly void of any emotion. I always knew she could be cold, but I never truly thought she was a heartless bitch until now.
“Bullshit,” I retorted.
Rogue held his hand up. “Wait to hear the facts, and then you can argue.”
I scoffed and sunk back into my chair.
“Blaze saw her talking to Velasquez.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s all you got?”
“No, Rocco saw her too.”
I turned my attention to the nomad. I wanted to rip his fucking head off. Sawyer recently told me she didn’t trust him, and I thought she was being ridiculous, but now I couldn’t agree with her more.
Rocco sat up a little straighter as eyes turned to him. “I saw her last week get out of her car, and go down to the station. Velasquez walked her out after.”
“That’s fucking bullshit. It wasn’t Sawyer who you saw.”
He shrugged. “Not many leggy blondes driving a Nissan.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. This is California; they’re all over the fucking place.” I leered at him. “You saw the wrong goddamned girl.”
Rocco leered right back. “And are you going to say that Blaze mistook someone else for her too?”
“No, he did see her. But—”
“What the fuck?” Axel interrupted, and I held my hand up.
“Hold on.” I told Axel before addressing Rocco once more. “Velasquez was harassing Sawyer, trying to get her to sell us out. She refused to talk. So, maybe you should get the whole fucking story before you start poking fucking fingers at people.”
“That doesn’t explain what I saw.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well like I said, you need to get your fucking eyes checked.”
“You need to get your head out of your ass, and start looking at the facts,” Trista spat.
“No! You need to take a step back, and stop being so set on revenge. She fucking left, and you can’t let it go. People make mistakes. Time to get over it or you’re going to wind up losing me too.”
Trista blinked at my threat. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? You would choose her over me? Over us? That bitch who took off on you? Left you with zero explanation and never so much as texted you in over five years? You would choose her over your own flesh and blood? You son of a bitch!”
“Hey!” Rogue yelled. “You keep the family bullshit for the dinner table and off my table, got it?”
Trista’s eyes were venomous as she stared me down. I didn’t flinch, refusing to give her the upper hand. First, she insinuated I had something to do with the missing parts, and now this? I was done. Until she could remember that not everyone was out to screw her over, I was just done.
“A few sightings of Sawyer with Velasquez isn’t enough to prove she’s the rat. So, until we have solid evidence the allegations are dismissed,” Rogue declared.
“At least someone still has their head on right,” I mumbled.
“That’s enough,” Rogue slammed his hand on the table. “In case you all have forgotten, we are a club. We have each other’s backs, and we fight on the same side, not against each other. So the next time we are in this room, I want all this bullshit done with. You hear me?”
Nobody responded. I took a drag off my cigarette, allowing the nicotine to calm me.
Rogue slammed his hand on the table again, and this time Trista jumped.
“I said, did you hear me?”
“Yeah,” we all mumbled.
“Good. Dismissed. I need a fucking drink.”
I stood to walk out, but Trista squared off in front of me. “She’s the rat, and I’m going to prove it.”
“You’re wasting your fucking time.”
“We’ll see about that,” she growled and stormed off.
I sidled up to the bar, and waved Larry down. He poured me a shot, and I downed it, crooking my fingers indicating I was ready for a second, and downed that too. I welcomed the burn, and tried to forget the last half hour.
Axel smacked my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
He sat down beside me. “Do you think?”
“Don’t fucking ask me that. Sawyer is not the rat. I don’t give two shits what Trista said or what Blaze and Rocco saw. I know her. She’s not capable of that kind of betrayal.”
I watched Cruz duck out of the bar. “I actually have to head out. I’ll catch you later,” I said to Axel, and followed Cruz outside.
“Where you running off to?” I asked, as he got on his bike, and pulled his helmet into place.
“Evie’s.”
“Good, then you won’t mind if I ride with you then. Have to pass her house to get to mine.”
He shrugged. “Not at all. Let’s go.”
I straddled my bike, and rode next to him as we pulled into the street. I still couldn’t shake seeing him go into Las Almas territory, and, especially, talking to Chubs. There was something going on with him, but I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t help him if I didn’t know.
I thought about confronting him, but he was too smart for his own damn good. He’d be able to dodge my questions, and we’d get nowhere. I only hoped that he’d man up and let me know what the fuck he was doing. Tell me what was going on before it was too late.
It was something I was going to tell Sawyer, but decided against it. I didn’t want her to worry. Didn’t want her to have to deal with any of this. It was bad enough when Cruz got the shit kicked out of him, and refused to talk about it. Watching the fear and panic in her eyes was enough to make me secretly swear to myself I would do everything in my power to keep her safe and free of that fear ever again.
Cruz pulled into Evie’s driveway, and I kept on my way. When I got to the corner, I parked and waited to see if he left, but, after a half hour, it was apparent he wasn’t going anywhere.
I slid out my phone and texted Sawyer.
Come over.
A second later my phone buzzed. I’m already here waiting for you. Hurry up.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I kick-started my bike, and
took off into the night.
NINE
Sawyer
I cuddled into Ryder’s side, and kissed his chest. His skin was glistening with sweat from the last hour of lovemaking. I hadn’t been this content in so long, and, after our night on the cliff when I let it all out, I felt almost free. Still, there was something I was keeping from him. Something that I swore I would never tell him, but it was eating at me, and I didn’t want to lie to him anymore.
What we had was special, and I didn’t want it tainted by a past secret. I also didn’t want Velasquez to have anything to hold over my head. With my secret out, he would lose his upper hand. It would be only a matter of time before he realized I was bluffing. But, if I wasn’t, he’d be powerless against me, and unable to hurt the club.
I rested my head on Ryder’s chest and glanced up at him. “You know I love you, right?”
He reached out tucking my hair behind my ear. “I know.” Tears pricked my eyes, and he sat up taking me in his arms. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I don’t want to lie to you. Not anymore.”
His eyes widened, and his hold on me stiffened. I sat up, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “No. I’m not the rat. I swore to you I wasn’t, and I stand by that. It’s something else. It’s why…”
He cupped my cheeks. “Tell me. No more secrets.”
I took a deep breath. “My dad being thrown in jail is only part of the reason I left.”
I pulled away from him and stood, slipping my silk robe on before I began pacing back and forth.
“What is it? You can tell me.”
I rubbed at my forehead. “Anything?”
He stood up with me, and took my hand in his. He pressed a kiss to my knuckles and smiled. “Anything.”
Five years of harboring this secret, a heavy weight on my mind. I was ready to get it out. Ready to be free, and to start fresh with Ryder.
“I left because…”
“Because why?”
I stared into his beautiful eyes, pleading for him not to hate me. I swallowed down the fear, and forced the words out. “I was pregnant.”
###
Like this story? Want more of the Fallen Idols MC?
Hidden (Fallen Idols MC 7) will be available 7/6/15.
Sign up for her mailing list to be the first to know when more Fallen Idols books release. When you sign up you will get access to FREE BOOK.
All about Maya and Rogan.
You can find her books on Amazon.
Check out Savannah’s Website or LIKE her Facebook page for more sexy shorts.
If you liked this book and want more don’t forget to leave a REVIEW!
Brazen (Motorcycle Club Romance): Ryder and Sawyer 2 (Fallen Idols Motorcycle Club Book 6) Page 4