“Pardon me for the sarcasm, but from what I saw, Winnetka isn’t a place anybody thinks about.”
“That’s true. Except . . .” He bit into a cheeseburger. I was glad he’d gotten two for himself because I’d eaten just about all his fries and I didn’t want to see him go hungry. “The hospital in Winnetka is a huge part of the Gerard history. It was the only place I could think of. I took a chance.”
“I’m glad you did.” I reached for the second chocolate shake. “But hey, maybe I could have gotten myself out of there. That was pretty cool, wasn’t it? The way I bashed that guy over the head with the mop?”
Dan grinned, but it was short-lived. “It was pretty cool. You’re one tough cookie.”
“You don’t sound impressed.”
He took a bite of burger and chewed it over thoughtfully, holding up one finger to tell me he’d answer as soon as he was done. “Oh, I’m impressed, all right.” He washed down his food with some of his own chocolate milkshake. “It’s just that . . .”
Dan set down his burger so that he could cross the room and take my hand. When he walked over to the bed, I naturally went right along. The mattress was mushy and it sagged when we sat down.
As if he was getting ready to make a confession, he drew in a breath. “I’ve sent people to him, Pepper.” Dan’s voice was so low, I could barely hear it.
I leaned closer. “You’ve sent people to . . . Doctor Gerard?”
He nodded. “As I’ve been working on my part of the study, you know, in places like Cleveland. When I found people I thought showed promise, people who I thought might have the ability to get in touch with the Other Side, I recommended they go to Chicago and see Hilton. I was blinded by my desire to contact Maddy again. I thought if I could find him the raw materials, Hilton could really make it work, and when he did . . .” We were sitting close, and his sigh rippled against my skin. It smelled like ketchup and onions. “I was just thinking . . .”
I could see why he’d put down his burger. My stomach felt a little queasy, too. “You’re not blaming yourself for what happened to those people, are you?”
He shook his head, but I wasn’t convinced. I mean, how could I be? He looked miserable, poor guy. That’s why I slipped an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “You didn’t know.”
“I should have asked more questions.”
“Knowing you, I bet you asked plenty.”
I guess I was right on the money, because Dan looked relieved. At least a little. He sighed again, and when he adjusted his weight to make himself more comfortable, his thigh pressed against mine.
Dan isn’t at all like Quinn. They don’t look alike, they don’t act alike (well, except for the being-around-to-save-my-life-once-in-a-while thing). With Quinn, there’s always a hint of sensuality simmering just below his extra-large ego. As I’d found out firsthand and much to my delight, when that sensuality bubbled to the surface, it was a thing of wonder.
But Dan . . . Dan is one of those deep guys who feel things through and through but don’t always like to let on. I mean, look at the way he still carried a torch for Madeline. It was creepy, sure, but it was sweet, too. It showed how much he could love, and how devoted he could be.
As for me, well, I had just been as close as I ever want to be to having my brain pickled and put in a jar. Like anyone could blame me for craving a little comfort?
“There are a lot of questions that need to be answered,” Dan said. His voice was huskier than I’d ever heard it.
I took that as a good sign and leaned in close so I could whisper my response against his lips. “And we’ll find the answers. Just not tonight.”
“You mean . . . ?” For a moment, I thought Dan was going to say he didn’t know what I meant. Or worse, that he was still so into Madeline that he wasn’t interested. But the truth dawned, and I saw his pupils widen. A smile touched his lips. Before I knew it, his arms were around me.
Dan looked into my eyes. His mouth was only a hairbreadth away from mine. “I thought once you knew about Maddy, you wouldn’t want to—”
“She’s got nothing to do with this.” This was the truth. At least for right then and there. “Besides, I’ve been held prisoner and drugged. I’ve had weird electrode thingees attached to my head. I was scared, Dan. I just need you to hold me.”
He, being the knight in shining armor that he is, didn’t refuse.
From there...
Well, I won’t go into details. I mean, what’s the point? Let’s just say that before either of us had a chance to second-guess what we were doing or why, we had that black and gold bedspread—and our clothes—stripped off.
“You’re sure?”
Leave it to Dan to ask permission even while he was trailing a series of kisses down my throat.
“No.” I lay back against the flat-as-a-pancake pillow and smiled up at him. “But being sure has nothing to do with this. Are you sure?”
“Sure I want you?” He kissed me hard, and when he was done, he grinned. There was heat in that smile of his. It tickled over my skin and set me on fire. “Right now, you’re the surest thing in my life. I’m sure I can’t wait. Not for another minute.”
Again, I don’t need details, do I? At least I wouldn’t if everything happened the way it was supposed to happen. But let’s face it, this is my life, and lately, the way things are supposed to happen and the way they do happen...
Well, I guess that’s why I wasn’t exactly surprised when I realized I wasn’t feeling all the things I should have been feeling at that particular moment.
Instead of snap, crackle, pop and sizzle, I felt a weird pull. Like suddenly my spirit was made out of metal and there was a giant magnet in the room tugging it.
That was kind of weird. Because my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. In fact, the last thing I remember is looking up into Dan’s dreamy blue eyes.
Right before my spirit was sucked straight out of me.
I found myself sitting on the dresser. Only it wasn’t me. I mean, it couldn’t have been.
Because I was still in bed with Dan doing you-know-what.
Or at least somebody was.
My mouth open in surprise and horror, I watched as the Pepper who wasn’t Pepper went through the motions. This did not seem possible, and just to check, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was me, Pepper Martin, and my hair was red and curly and my face was a little pale, what with the lack of light and the drugs and all. But still, I looked like me, all right. Only I didn’t.
Maybe that’s because I was wearing a long, shapeless black skirt, glasses, and a lab coat.
I jumped off that dresser in an instant and hurried over to the bed, but by that time, it was too late. Dan and the Pepper he was in bed with were done doing what they’d been doing and they were both looking pretty darned happy. The Pepper in the bed winked at me over Dan’s shoulder. She didn’t move her lips, but her voice reverberated through my head. It sounded smug and a little too academic for my taste.
“Thank you, Pepper. I couldn’t have planned this any better.”
16
Certain things are way more interesting to do than they are to watch. Especially when the person I was watching do them was wearing my body.
Madeline had been dead for three years. When it came to the physical world, she had a lot of catching up to do.
And Dan? Well, the good news is that he might love Madeline to the grave and beyond, but he liked me. I mean, he really, really liked me. He showed it in lots of different and interesting ways.
The bad news was that now that Dan had gotten over his shyness, he had a lot of catching up to do, too.
And me? I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, my fingers in my ears, so freaking panicked, I couldn’t think straight.
The next morning when Madeline and Dan came in to shower (together), I ducked back into the room. Even with a change of scenery and the sounds of run
ning water drowning out (mostly) the moans and the groans coming from in there, I didn’t feel any better.
I paced and worried. I paced and cried. I paced and screamed every swear word I could think of (and a few I made up on the spot), and I didn’t have to care that I might be causing a commotion.
No one could hear me.
Tears welled in my eyes again, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Heck, why should I? No one could see me, either.
“So, how does it feel?”
OK, I wasn’t exactly accurate about the no-one-could-see-me. Madeline could. Done doing what she’d been doing, she was wrapped in a paper-thin towel that scarcely covered her breasts (my breasts!). She sauntered into the room with a smile on her face that was as bright as the song Dan was humming in the shower. I think it was a Broadway show tune.
“Now you know how I’ve felt these past years,” she said. “You’re invisible.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” I raised my chin and looked into eyes that used to be mine and a face that just yesterday had looked back at me from the mirror. It was weird. “You’ve had your fun.” I didn’t need to elaborate. She knew exactly what I was talking about, and to prove it, she grinned and purred and stretched like a contented cat. “Now give me back my body.”
“My body.” The voice was mine, but the attitude—and the sarcasm—was all Madeline. “Once a narcissist, always a narcissist. I’ve got news for you, Pepper. My body.” She poked her finger at her chest (my—well, there’s no use dwelling). “My hair.” She tugged on it. “My clothes.” She looked down to where they were tossed on the floor just as Dan switched to something that sounded like opera. He didn’t have a bad voice.
Madeline paused for a moment to listen. “My Danny,” she said.
“And you think I’m the narcissist?” Since I didn’t have to worry about my image, I snorted to emphasize my point. So tacky, but it helped me sound tough, and tough was exactly what I needed. Without the tough, I’d be a basket case. “Get over it, girlfriend. You’re dead. And when you died, the world didn’t stop spinning. Life goes on. Without you.”
“Without you.” Madeline giggled. Even coming out of my mouth, it was not a pretty sound. “Don’t you get it? I arranged this whole thing just so I could get your body.”
“How—?”
Apparently, my question wasn’t even worth listening to. Not in Madeline’s opinion, anyway. “Hilton was so obsessed with this whole ghost, paranormal thing. He made me do hours and hours of research. It’s amazing what you can learn in some of those dusty, old books of his. Séances, shape-shifting, time travel, spirit possession of a live body when the stars and the moon are aligned just right . . . I never believed any of it, but hey, I’m a researcher, remember. I figured it was worth a try. I was waiting for the right test subject to come along. According to that book of Hilton’s, my live subject—you—had to make love to the one person—Danny—who was still in love with the person who passed on—me. I set this whole thing up like an experiment. You fell for it. And it worked.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I swallowed hard. “Then the people at the hospital, the ones in Doctor Gerard’s study. They aren’t—”
“Missing? Sure they are.” Madeline dismissed the information with a wave of one hand. “The point is, who cares?”
“You do. At least you said you did.”
“I told you Danny was involved, too. I thought that was a nice touch. He’s got that whole cute-as-a-button thing going for him. And the broken heart shtick, too, of course. Most women can’t resist. I figured you were no different. He has to get on with his life. He needs to find a woman who will love him as much as I did.” When she spoke these last two sentences, she pressed her hands to her heart. She sounded like her old self. Except for the cackle of a laugh at the end. “I’ve proved it again. I’m smarter than you. I came up with a great way to sucker you in.”
No way I could get beyond the desperation that ate away at my composure, but still, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief. “So Dan isn’t really in trouble?”
Madeline shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“Shouldn’t it?”
Another shrug. The towel that was all she was wearing came loose, and Madeline tossed it aside and went to stand in front of the mirror. She turned this way and that, assessing her new body. “Not bad,” she decided. “With this body and my brains, I’ll go a long way. I can’t believe you didn’t think of it, or maybe you did, but without the smarts to carry it off, you just weren’t very good at it. What do you think? Can I sleep my way to the top?”
“Sleep? Top? Top of what?”
“A hospital research program. A university psychology department. What’s the difference? I’m not all that particular.” Madeline grabbed the thong that had landed on the dresser when Dan and I ripped off our clothes. She stepped into it and made a face. “I’ve got to go out and get myself some real clothes.”
“Real? Like . . .” Why this hadn’t occurred to me before, I don’t know, but I glanced down at my own fuddy-duddy outfit. My long black skirt had an elastic waistband, and I plucked it away from my stomach and took a peek.
White cotton briefs!
If I wasn’t already invisible, I would have died from embarrassment. “You’ve got to be kidding. You don’t really expect me to wear this?”
“Personally, I don’t care what you wear. I don’t care about you at all.” Madeline reached for my jeans and slipped them on. She put on my bra and my sweater. The ripped sleeve didn’t seem to bother her. The fit, though, did. She squirmed. “Your boobs are too big. They make me feel top-heavy. Maybe I’ll get a reduction.”
“You wouldn’t dare, you no-good, sneaky—”
“Ah, is that a little bit of jealousy I hear?” Dressed now, Madeline peered into the mirror and ran her fingers through her curls. She tugged at a ringlet and made a face. “This has got to go. Too high maintenance. I’m thinking a nice, short cut. Wash and wear. It will give me more time for—”
“What?” I crossed my arms over my chest, holding in my temper and my panic. “You want to give yourself more time in the shower with Dan?”
“You think that’s what this is about? You’re dumber than I thought.” She looked toward the bathroom. “He’s a sweet guy. Really. And so enthusiastic when it comes to . . . well, I guess you noticed, right? It’s just that . . .”
My temper dissolved beneath a wave of nausea. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Force of habit; even though I knew Dan couldn’t hear me, I lowered my voice. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting his feelings. “Are you telling me—”
“What, that I don’t give a damn about Danny?” Finished preening, Madeline spun and leaned against the dresser. Since I was standing directly opposite her, I could see us both at the same time. Looking at the physical me standing in front of the dresser and the essence of me in the mirror was too weird for words.
Maybe Madeline realized it. Maybe that’s why she smiled.
“How can you think that I don’t care about sweet Danny?” Her smile inched up. “He’s obviously good for a few things. But then, I guess you noticed that, too.”
The sourness in my stomach shot up into my throat. “That’s not the way a wife should talk about the man who’s carried a torch for her for three long years. He loves you.”
“He loves a memory.”
“Which has to be based in fact.” A new thought struck, and if I wasn’t afraid that my hand would whoosh right through my head, I would have slapped my forehead. “Not much fact, right? You put on a show for Dan. You pretended to be someone you weren’t. Just so he would marry you. Now all he remembers is the warm and fuzzy stuff, and he’s spent three years of his life missing a woman who never really existed. He doesn’t know that you’re really a bitch.”
“You think so?” My purse was on the dresser. Completely unconcerned about my criticism, Madeline opened the purse, plucked out a tube of “Paris Nights,” swiveled it o
pen, and made a face. “Isn’t this color a little obvious?”
“Isn’t that the whole point of wearing lipstick? And beauty tips aren’t what we were talking about. We were talking about Dan.”
“And I said he was a sweet guy.” Madeline tossed my practically new tube of lipstick in a nearby trash can. She followed it up with my blusher, my mascara, my eyeliner, and the Missoni Parfum Rollerball I’d paid too much for and never regretted. “If you had more self-confidence, you wouldn’t need all these things to shore up your ego.”
“I thought I was a narcissist. That means I don’t need anything to shore up my ego. I’ve got ego to spare.”
“And you hide behind cosmetics.” Madeline shook her head sadly. “That ends today. From now on, the world sees the real me.”
Night of the Loving Dead Page 20