MDJD: Can I call you?
I tap my thumb nail against the screen while I mull that over.
Tori’s voice cuts through my indecisiveness. “Just call him, Rave. You know you want to.”
She’s right, but I don’t want give in too soon. He doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook that easily. The only thing worse than being a cliché girl who falls into the trap of believing she’s the exception, is one who does it over and over again. Live and learn, raise the bar, and whatever you do, don’t settle. That last rule applies to both men and shoes.
I type out a curt response.
Me: Not tonight.
Voilà! Bar’s been set.
NINE
e r i c
“How much longer is this gonna last?”
Funny, I could ask Mrs. Norman the same thing. Every Tuesday the woman finds something new to bitch about. Never fails. This time she’s complaining about how long it’s taking me to mow her lawn. I know that sounds sexual, but it’s not. She’s a tad too old for me. Anyone who requires arthritis medication and a cane for transportation cannot handle Yours Truly. Besides, necrophilia is not my style. Also, I’m actually about to mow her lawn.
I drop the gate on the back of my truck and pull the trimmer out.
“Should be done in about thirty minutes, Mrs. Norman.”
“Good. I don’t know why it’s taking so long. I don’t pay you to sunbathe out here. And stop blowing grass onto my sidewalk. It gets in my way.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Pull your pants up, too. I don’t wanna see that trash when I’m lookin’ out my window.”
I doubt she can see anything beyond her nose, but I’ll save that argument for another Tuesday. It’s taken me twice as long to get all my jobs done because I’m down a coworker. I’m on my fourth job site with one more to go. Next comes H-E-B, which will effectively screw me out of the rest of my day. At least I’m almost done here, but not before she adds another jab.
“Come to think of it, you might wanna buy a new pair of pants. Preferably ones that don’t have paint stains running down the legs. Learn to look professional, young man.”
Please slit my throat with a lawnmower blade. I’m begging you.
I’m sorry, was that too morbid?
Seriously, though. If she keeps it up, I’m tagging her house tonight. A little graffiti will teach her some tolerance. Maybe then she’ll learn to appreciate my art.
She takes her wrinkled old ass back inside her house, leaving me in peace to trim. I start that bad boy up and go to town, deeply fantasizing about walking into her house and slicing all of her furniture up. Puts a smile on my face and an extra step in my stride.
As I’m loading up the truck and trailer, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my arm and check the text.
Levi: Hey, long time no see. Party at my place tonight. Bring some girls.
Me: What are we celebrating?
Levi: I’m a free man.
In other words, he’s fresh out of jail. Probably on probation, too. Dumbass. It’s been awhile since we’ve crossed paths. He decided to break off and do his own thing. Moved on to heavier crimes like theft and battery. I’m all for taking risks, but they’ve gotta be calculated. Levi’s reckless. Once I saw him hopping on a first-class train to Nowheresville, I chucked up the deuces and paved my own way instead.
Me: I’ll be there. You cool if I invite Chase Williams?
Levi: Only if you each bring a girl to balance it out. This party’s not going to be a sausage fest.
Me: Fair enough. See you in a bit.
I scroll through my contacts until I find Chase.
Me: Party at Levi’s place tonight. Bring at least one female.
Chase: I’m off at 9. I’ll text some girls and swing by after work.
Me: Sounds good.
Next comes Mia.
Me: My buddy’s having a party tonight and he’s requesting dirty, low down hookers. Shall we count you in attendance?
Mia: Why would you need me to make an appearance if you’re showing up?
Me: Ha-ha. If only you were funny. But seriously, is that a no?
Mia: I can’t tonight. Sorry. My dad and I have plans.
Me: Whatever. We’re too cool for you anyway.
Mia: Now who’s the funny one?
Me: ; )
Saving the best for last, I pull up Raven’s number. I’ve spent the last few nights reminiscing and rereading all of our previous text messages, dating back as far as they’ll go. Every time I’m reminded of what I said, guilt seeps into my conscious and hijacks my brain. How could I have been such an idiot? I had her, dammit! She was right within my grasp and now she’s barely speaking to me. I never realized how depressingly hollow everything is when she’s not around.
Instead of shooting her a text, I hit the call button and hold the phone up to my ear, waiting for her to answer. That’s assuming she will.
To my surprise, she does.
“Hello?”
“Hey…” I stammer, looking down and shuffling my feet.
Great. Now it’s awkward and forced. I make a lame attempt to recover. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
Liar. No matter how much she tries to deny it, I know she’s hurting—badly. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and heal every wound I’ve caused. No doubt she’d break my hands off if I tried. Any chance I had of winning her over was lost the second I made her feel like she was nothing more than a piece of ass. Mending fences has never seemed so difficult. I don’t even know where to begin. If only it were a simple fix. Since laughter is the best remedy…. “A much less attractive version of Betty White just spent the limited breaths she has left chewing me out.”
“Good.”
Despite the one-word response, I hear her smile on the other end of the line. A tiny fissure in her armor. Progress. “How long are you going to keep busting my balls?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“On when you redeem yourself.”
“You can’t stay mad at me forever, you know.”
Silence.
I check the screen to make sure she didn’t hang up on me. Her picture’s still showing. Stay with me, Rave.
“Give me a chance to make it up to you tonight,” I cajole.
“How?”
“Come to Levi’s party and I’ll explain everything.”
“I’m not invited to Levi’s party.”
“You are now. I’m inviting you.”
She laughs bitterly. “Why in the world would I want to go to one of Levi’s stupid parties? You know I can’t stand him. He’s a dick to me every time I see him.”
Levi’s convinced I’m pussy-whipped and believes Raven is solely responsible for why I never come around anymore. Truth is, his ego couldn’t handle it when I started hanging out with her on a regular basis. I was sick of taking the heat for his fuck-ups. I saw an easy out, and I took it.
“Because I’ll be there and I want to see my best friend. I miss you. At least give me a chance to explain myself. That’s all I’m asking. I know you’re pissed—and you have every right to be—but there’s a reason why I reacted the way I did.”
It suddenly dawns on me that my relationships are usually comprised of “let me explain” moments and endless misunderstandings. Gets old very quickly.
“Are Tori and Mia going?”
“I texted Mia, but she’s busy. Haven’t tried Tori yet. Bring her along if you want. Whatever you do, just show up. This is me begging. You know I don’t beg.”
“I’ll think about it,” is all she offers.
Frustrated, I run my hand through my hair. “Rave, please?”
I wait patiently on the line while she considers my request. I’d give anything for this one thing to go right today. All I need is for her to show up. The rest I can handle on my own. I’ll improvise.
Several beats pass before she finally speaks.
“Fin
e, I’ll go. But I’m only staying for an hour.”
Every muscle in my body relaxes. It’s not quite as long as would’ve hoped for, but at least she agreed.
“Do you want me to pick you up?”
“No, I’ll drive myself. That way you can stay and have fun.”
What I really want is to leave when she does and spend some alone time with her, but I decide not to press my luck.
“Thank you.” And because I can’t resist, I make her an offer she won’t be able to refuse. “If you’re interested, there’s a way you can torture me.”
“I’m listening.”
“Wear one of those skimpy little outfits hidden in your closet.”
“Nice try. Sweatpants it is.”
I roll my eyes and call her bluff. “You don't even own a pair of sweatpants.”
“No, but Tori does. So thanks for the inspiration.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll look sexy regardless.”
“I’ll go to great lengths to ensure I don’t.”
“No you won’t. You care way too much about what other people think. And even if you did, it wouldn’t work. You’re always beautiful to me.”
She sucks in a sharp breath. I jump on the opportunity to have the last word.
“Can’t wait to see you tonight.”
I end the call and slip my phone back into my pocket, feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time in five days.
* * *
I burst through Levi’s door and walk straight into a dense cloud of marijuana smoke. The scent triggers a slew of memories to come rushing back. It’s been awhile since I rolled up a joint and chilled the fuck out. Miss those days. I inhale a deep breath and trudge on.
In true Levi fashion, the place is crammed with chicks, drugs, and an endless supply of booze. There’s a crowd mingling around the kitchen table, watching a game of strip poker that’s underway. Slices of pizza and cups of jungle juice are lined up for grabs on the counter. Lyrics from 2Pac’s “California Love” are pounding through the speakers.
I weave through the masses and search for Levi. He’s reclining on the living room couch with a beer in one hand, and a handful of ass in the other. A tattooed, curvy redhead is straddling his lap, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. When he sees me approaching he nudges her off and stands up.
“Sup, man?” he pulls me into a one-arm hug.
“Not shit.”
He releases me and looks down at the bottle I’m holding. A cross between confusion and disgust erupts on his face. “Sangria? Have you grown a vagina since I last saw you?”
“Fuck off. It’s for Raven. She likes the sweet stuff.”
His face goes serious. “You invited that buzzkill to my party?”
“Relax. She knows how to have a good time.”
“Naw, man. She’s a priss. Please tell me you brought a backup?”
“She may or may not be bringing a friend.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“If memory serves, you used to have the hots for her,” I remind him.
“Times change. And so do people.” He shoots me an accusatory look.
“Come on, she isn’t that bad.”
“She’s a beauty, but she ain’t worth it. Her hotness is consumed by the amount of bullshit you have to put up with. I’ve been telling you that for years.”
“Hey, do you hear that? It’s a beer calling my name,” I say, cutting the conversation short and slapping him on the shoulder. “Glad to see you’re a free man.”
He takes a sip of his own. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll hit you up later if Queen Buzzkill hasn’t gotten to you first.”
I roll my eyes. “Let it go, dude.”
I dip into the kitchen before he has a chance to respond. Can somebody say mindtrip? It’s crazy what time and distance will do to a person. Although, I’m sure he’d say the same about me. Levi was the closest thing I had to a brother. Raven was an outsider who didn’t understand our lifestyle. These days, the roles have reversed. Levi’s been quietly fading into obscurity as I rely on Raven to hold me down and keep me sane. She’s my thread of stability in a world full of uncertainties.
Speaking of my favorite ball buster, in prances Raven—solo. My jaw drops. She definitely took my advice and ditched the sweatpants idea. She’s flaunting her generous curves in a fiery red, body-hugging dress, which I’m certain was single-handedly plucked off a hanger in hopes to destroy me. Mission accomplished. The bold, dramatic color suits her personality perfectly.
My body drifts towards her like a magnet to a fridge. When she sees me coming, she stiffens. I hesitate briefly, allowing my eyes roam every inch of her scorching figure. It hurts to look at her. All it does is remind me of what I’ve known all along—I don’t deserve her. I bend down to kiss her temple and slip a compliment in her ear. “Congratulations. I’m eating my heart out.”
She twists her head in my direction, revealing a set of cold, calculated eyes. “You should be after you kicked me in mine.”
I straighten my spine and stifle a grin. Vengeful banter turns me on.
I raise the bottle of sangria. “Peace offering?”
“Liquoring me up isn’t going to help our situation, Eric.”
“You sure about that? It can’t hurt.”
She shakes her head. “Always deflecting with a joke. What a shocker.”
My face goes from playful to serious as I prepare to tell her off.
“Hey, I bent over backwards trying to get you to come around. You wouldn’t budge. That’s on you, not me.”
She coils her fists and steps in my lane, going from 0 to 100 real quick. “You tried once. Once! And that was after you were out whoring around in bars and bragging about it on Facebook the very next day. How do you think that made me feel? What happened between us was a huge deal for me. I put myself out there in every way possible, and you moved on to the next thing without even blinking. It’s all part of the fun, right? The game doesn’t work if someone doesn’t get played, and it had to be me.”
I reach over and slam the bottle down on the counter, drawing lots of unwanted attention. “Is that what you think? That this is all a game to me? That I don’t have real, genuine feelings for you? That I haven’t wanted you from day one? How many times have I pursued you over the years? You don’t need to tell me what we have because I’ve seen it all along. And if you would’ve waited long enough for me to explain myself instead of storming out of my apartment like some scorned ex-girlfriend with an axe to grind, you’d know how much I wanted to make this work.”
“Then why did you freak out when I mentioned a relationship?”
I rake my hands through my hair. “Because the thought scares me, okay? I’m not used to commitment, and I’m afraid of losing you. Imagine my disappointment when it took me less than five minutes to fuck everything up once I finally had you. Do you think that’s fair to either of us? Now I’m second-guessing what I’m capable of giving you. I should’ve read between the lines when you told me you didn’t want to be like all the other girls, but I didn’t want to assume anything, especially with our history. I was so fixated on the bigger picture I missed what was happening right in front of me. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel inadequate. And for the record, I wasn’t out in bars picking up chicks. Erase that shit from your mind.”
Tons of curious partygoers are watching the scene play out like a bad car accident. Pretty sure some are placing bets on my fate. They’re not the only ones hanging on the edge of their seats. I’m anxious to see how this argument ends, too.
She backs up, confused. “What do you mean you’re second-guessing what you’re capable of giving me?”
Levi casually leans against the fridge, slipping into the conversation like a hot poker ready to brand Raven. “He’s saying you aren’t worth the hassle.” His bloodshot eyes find mine. “Told you she was a buzzkill.”
I glare at him. “Shut up.”
“Screw you, Levi,”
Raven snaps.
He motions towards the door with his beer. “Y’all can leave now. I don’t need this drama at my party. Thanks to her, there’s a new rule in effect: No Cunts Allowed.”
Raven’s eyes grow wide with shock. The room becomes a blur. Before I can process what’s happening, I turn and swing my arm as hard as I can until my fist collides with Levi’s face. Sharp pain flares over my knuckles. He stumbles sideways into the poker table, spilling all its contents. Chair legs scrape against the tile, backing away. Half-naked players jump out of their seats, dropping their cards and clearing a path. Something dark and sinister takes root inside of me as I lunge for him.
“Eric! Stop!” Raven cries.
I ignore her plea and channel all my rage into tearing up Levi’s face, unleashing years of pent-up resentment and aggression. He returns the favor, getting a few solid hits of his own in and knocking me to the ground. Two girls scream and flee the room.
I grab him by the collar of his tee and bring his face close to mine. “You ever talk about her like that again, I’ll break your fuckin’ jaw,” I threaten.
He laughs deliriously. “You ain’t shit. Never have been.”
I raise my fist to deliver another crushing blow, but someone puts a stop to the madness and pulls me into a standing position.
“Enough!” Chase steps in front, using his body as a barrier. He puts a hand on my chest and looks over his shoulder at Levi, then back at me. “Reel it in before the cops get called.”
My gaze floats to Raven. She’s studying me with trepidation. Her chest is rising and falling as rapidly as mine. I catch my breath and glance down at my crimson-stained knuckles. A surge of heat floods my body, making the throbbing intensify. Adrenaline must be wearing off.
Guests trickle back into the kitchen, sharing hushed conversations about me like I’m not here. So fucking awkward. Levi stands and wipes the blood leaking from his nose. He checks his booze and blood soaked clothes and evaluates the damage. His furious eyes find mine. “Get the fuck out and take your friends with you. We’re done here.”
Famous last words.
“Come on, let’s go,” Chase urges.
I reach behind for Raven’s hand and pull her into my side. The three of us head for the door. Abruptly, Raven stops and shakes her hand free. She scurries back into the kitchen to grab her sangria off the counter and holds it up in front of Levi. “This is mine, asshole.”
Catching Raven Page 9