by Robin Roseau
"Does she promise?" I asked.
"Yes," Nori said. "I would like to talk to you, that's all."
I looked back at Maya. "Does she keep her promises?"
"Every one she's ever made to me," Maya said.
"Fine," I said. "I'll talk to her." I glanced over at Omie. She and Vorine were talking, but they were watching me, and they weren't smiling. I looked back at Maya, then at the Queen. "You're the queen of the Amazons."
"Yes."
"Aren't I beneath your notice?"
"No, you aren't," she said. "We aren't accustomed to spending this much time with a single prospective companion, but you are my companion's sister, and I agreed with Maya that we would do things her way. This is her way. It is certainly far better than my way was."
I looked at Nori. "I'll talk to you, but I don't like you."
"Maybe you'll give me another chance," she said. She gestured with her head, and together we walked away from everyone else. She didn't say anything for a minute or two, then she suggested we sit in the grass at the edge of the field. We sat down facing each other a comfortable distance apart.
"I understand you believe I owe you an apology. I happen to agree with you."
I wasn't expecting her to admit that from the beginning. "You do?"
She nodded. "I believe I know what apologies you are owed, but I would like to hear what you have to say."
"If I speak plainly, am I going to get into trouble?"
"No. You and I will either work things out and put everything behind us, or we won't."
"And if we don't, Omie finds another companion."
"Yes. I'm sorry. You could find another warrior from another village, but if you are living in Queen's Town, you and I have to get along."
"I'm not going if I won't live near my sister."
"I don't blame you," she said. "If she were my sister, I'd feel the same way. Maya is amazing. Everyone at Queen's Town loves her."
"They do?"
"Yes. Why does that surprise you?"
"I love her. And Mama and Father do. Even my brothers love her, but they wouldn't admit it."
"Ah. But you don't think anyone else does?"
I didn't answer.
"I believe your village elder does."
"She's my grandmother," I said.
"Juna is your grandmother?"
"Oh, no. Grandma Alara."
"Well, I believe Juna loves your sister. She certainly has deep respect for her."
"Juna doesn't love anyone. She's scary."
Nori chuckled. "Yes, she is. She is very fierce. She scared me."
I cocked my head.
"You don't believe me. I understand. But she did. I bet she's a very good elder."
"She is," I said with pride.
"We're getting sidetracked," Nori said. "Will you tell me what apoligies you believe you are owed?"
"So you'll know what to apologize for? Are you going to just say you're sorry when you're not?"
She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment, then smoothed her face. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to companions talking to me so bluntly."
"My sister doesn't talk to you like this?"
Nori chuckled again. "She's the exception."
"And you let her?"
"Yes. Beria, I'll apologize to you for the things I did wrong and I will tell you why I'm not apologizing for the things that aren't my fault. But I can't do that if I don't know what you think I did wrong."
"Fine," I said with a big breath. "You hurt my sister."
"Yes, I did. Keep going."
"You took her from us."
"Yes, I did."
"Juna had to teach school for the rest of the year last year."
She paused. "All right. Do you expect an apology for that?"
"Juna may be owed an apology."
"She's already had one."
"What?"
"Malora and I apologized to the village council," Nori said.
"Did they accept?"
"They said they understood the situation we were in and apologized for being part of the problem we were trying to solve. I think accepting either apology is going to take time."
"They let you talk to us," I pointed out.
"Our apologies came after that," Nori said, "but do you think it's possible to say 'No' to Maya when she gets something in her head?"
I cracked a smile at the thought of my sister ordering the council.
"What else, Beria? Is that your entire list?"
"Mrs. Winehouse is a horrible teacher."
"Ah. Anything else?"
"You made Mama cry."
She looked down. "I know. I bet I made you cry, too."
I didn't answer that.
"Anything else?" she asked after a moment.
"I guess that's it," I said.
"All right." She paused. "First, the way we came here last year was wrong. We should have done what we're doing this year. We've been arguing and begging with the village councils throughout all of Morehama, and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. Frankly, it never occurred to any of us to appeal directly to the villagers. Maya let us know quite clearly what she thought of that oversight, and she was entirely right. Malora and I both feel horrible for that, and I felt bad about it last year, too, but we were desperate and didn't know what else to do. Beria, I am sorry for scaring you. And I am sorry I hurt your sister. I am not at all sorry for taking your sister, but I am very sorry for how I did it."
I thought about what she had said. I actually couldn't believe she was apologizing to me like this. It was making it hard to stay angry with her. But then I hardened my resolve.
"What about Mrs. Winehouse?"
"That isn't my fault," Nori said. "I do not take responsibility for the actions of your village council. They picked her, not me."
"They wouldn't have had to if you hadn't taken Maya!" I spat.
"No," Nori said, "but you have noticed that Maya isn't trying to stay in Gallen's Cove. I am sorry that taking Maya meant you needed a new teacher, but it is not my fault your village couldn't find a better teacher. I would understand if they couldn't find a teacher as good as Maya, but perhaps they could have found someone more appealing as Mrs. Winehouse."
I'd spent a year hating this woman. I'd spent a year hating all the Amazons, and it was difficult to believe my sister was one of them now. I looked over at Maya. She was standing with Queen Malora, Omie and Vorine. Malora was saying something, but all of them were watching Nori and me.
She looked really good in her Amazon clothes, and it was clear how she felt about Queen Malora. I thought it was clear how she felt about Nori, too.
"The queen listens to my sister."
"We all do."
I looked back at Nori. She was watching me. "I spent a year hating you."
"I don't blame you. I hate what I did. Maya has forgiven me. I haven't forgiven myself."
I was surprised to hear that. I wondered if she were lying, but she didn't look like she was lying. I looked back at Maya. She smiled tentatively.
"Maya wouldn't let me do something wrong," I said.
"No," Nori said, "I don't believe she would."
"She wants me to come with you. She wants me to forgive you."
"She misses you terribly."
I looked back at Nori. "Last year, you took girls who didn't want to go. You would have let that girl take me."
"Yes. It's complicated, Beria."
"But you're not trying to take me like that anymore. I could stand up right now and walk away, and no one would stop me."
"I believe your sister would stop you and suggest you let her take you home. If she didn't, then Omie would. Queen Malora would probably order someone to take you."
I glanced at Maya again, then back at Nori.
"You're not used to an adult apologizing to you, are you?"
"No."
"It can take time to change your opinion of someone, even when you know in the end you're going to. Do you think you're going to stop hating me?"<
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I didn't want to admit it. I didn't say anything right away.
"It's hard to let go of hate," Nori said.
I looked at my hands. "I don't hate you anymore." I said it in a small voice.
"You sound ashamed to admit that. Do you think admitting it means you were wrong to hate me this past year?"
I didn't answer. I was very confused now.
"You weren't wrong to hate me," Nori said. "From what you had seen, I was worth hating. But now you're seeing more of me, and you're seeing how Maya responds to me. Forgiving me now doesn't mean you were wrong before."
I still wasn't ready to look at her, but she let me sit and think about it before she went on.
"Beria," she said. It was said gently. "You're not a child anymore, but you're not an adult, either. I am about to give you a lesson in being an adult. Okay?"
"Okay," I said.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't hate me."
It took a moment, but I raised my eyes towards hers. "I don't hate you anymore," I said again. "If Maya forgave you, then I should."
"Of the things I did wrong, what was the worst?"
"You hurt my sister!"
She smiled. "I am so pleased to see how loyal you are to her."
"You're making it hard to stay mad at you."
"I know," she said.
I looked back at my hands. "Mrs. Winehouse wasn't your fault," I admitted. "If Maya has accepted your apology, then I do."
"Do you really mean that?" she asked. "If you're just saying that, then this is going to fester inside you, and that wouldn't be good. If inside you hate me, or even don't trust me, then you should stay home, Beria. You would need to obey me and treat me with respect."
"Would you treat me with respect?" I asked, looking her in the eye.
"Yes, unless you give me reason not to."
I didn't look away this time. "I accept your apologies, Nori. Thank you. No hard feelings. Do you have them?"
"Hard feelings towards you? You're worried I'll take this out on you?"
I nodded.
"No, Beria, I won't." She cocked her head a moment, and I thought she had something else she wanted to say. I waited for her. "I want you to consider something else. Look around."
I did.
"You see all these women. A few of them are watching us: Maya and Malora, Omie and Vorine, and perhaps a few others."
I looked back at Nori.
"Why are they looking at us?"
"They're ready to go. They're waiting for us."
"I'm making you all wait?"
"Look around again. Do any of them look angry?"
I looked. No one looked angry. I thought perhaps Omie looked worried. But Maya was smiling, and when I looked at her, the smile broadened. She nodded to me.
"They won't wait all morning," Nori said, "but they're giving you time to think about all of this."
"Why?"
"Because everyone knows what we're talking about. Everyone knows this is a big decision for you. Everyone wants you to forgive me and decide to come with us. We're trying to give you the time you need to get used to the idea."
"The idea of not hating you, or the idea of going with?"
"Both ideas, I guess," she replied. "I bet forgiving me is harder than deciding to go with us."
I looked around again and felt guilty they were all waiting for me.
"Are you going to make Omie leave without me?"
"No. I am going to tell Queen Malora that you accepted my apologies and that I think you would make a very good Amazon."
We climbed to our feet, then she held out a hand to me. I stared at it for a moment, then clasped hands with her.
"I hope you leave with us, Beria," she said. "Omie needs you, and I hope you and I can become friends."
"You want to be friends with me? I'm only thirteen."
"Yes, Beria, I want to be friends with you."
I hadn't expected that.
* * * *
It turned out that Omie wasn't the only Amazon to remain behind in Gallen's Cove. An older Amazon named Ralla was also staying. I was a little disappointed that Omie's sister wasn't staying, and I didn't see Careen. We watched the rest of the Amazons ride away, and I told her I was sorry for her sister.
"Why's that?"
"Careen decided not to go."
"Oh. She said 'yes', but she wants time to say goodbye to her family."
"Oh," I said. "That's good then. What do we do now?"
"We find out what Ralla and Jasmine are doing," Omie said. "But you and I will start training." She led me over to where Ralla was standing talking with Jasmine. Jasmine was a quiet girl, five years older than I was. She'd always been nice to me, and I was happy to see her.
"What are your plans, Ralla?" Omie asked.
Ralla turned to us. "Jasmine wants to know what it's like to live rough," Ralla said. "We're going to pack up like I do for one of my trips, but we'll just circle around and come back here every afternoon. I warned her spending hours in a saddle can take some getting used to, so we're going to do half days."
"Beria is concerned about training," Omie said. "So I'm going to begin teaching her the staff."
"And running?" Ralla said.
"Of course," Omie said.
Ralla turned to Jasmine. "Did you want to stay for that?" Jasmine nodded. "Well then, we'll train with you for an hour or so, then leave you, but we'll be back this afternoon."
Omie looked around then smiled. "We can stretch where the queen's pavilion was," she said. "The grass is packed down there." She tugged me with her, then pulled me down into the flattened grass.
For the next twenty minutes, Omie taught Jasmine and me how to stretch. I never knew there were so many different ways to stretch. Ralla helped Jasmine, and Omie helped me.
"We're being gentle on you today," Omie said. "Over time, you will stretch further and further, working to become increasingly limber. Nothing should hurt, but you want to stretch further and further over time." Then she demonstrated how much further she could bend her legs than I could.
"I'm going to learn to do that?" I asked, pointing at her.
"Not all at once, but yes," Omie said. "Your sister can do this."
"Really?"
She nodded.
Then Ralla spoke. "Some of the villages have other stretches," she explained. "Jasmine, you would end up learning them, as I visit all the villages frequently. Beria, you may learn some of them, too, but for now, the ones that matter are the ones Omie is teaching you."
I nodded understanding.
We finished stretching, and Omie said, "We stretch every day, and then we run. We're going to go a little easy on you today, but we're going to push you harder than you think you can take. I want to see both of you push yourselves." She climbed to her feet then reached down and pulled me to mine. I saw Ralla did the same with Jasmine.
No one had ever helped me stand up before, but Omie did it casually as if she hadn't even had to think about it. She turned away, saying, "Keep up now," and began jogging to the edge of the field, the four of us running alongside her.
At first it was easy. We went once around the field, and then she said, "We'll go faster, now that you're warmed up." And then she moved into a run.
We ran, and ran, and ran. Soon I was panting for air, and so was Jasmine. But neither Omie nor Ralla seemed winded.
And Ralla was actually kind of old.
"Faster," Omie said, when we began to lag. "Imagine there's a demon chasing you, Beria."
I imagined that thing my sister had shown us, and I ran faster, at least for a while.
Jasmine slowed down before I did, and I heard Ralla urging her to keep running. I tried to slow with her, but Omie said firmly, "Keep up, Beria!" And so I ran with her, panting, my heart pounding.
But finally I came to a stop, bent over with my hands on my knees, panting. Omie circled around.
"You have more in you," she said.
I shook my head.<
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"If there was a real demon chasing you, would you have stopped?"
I looked up at her.
"Do you understand?" she asked, and I nodded. "One more lap?" I straightened, and we began running again, but at the end of that lap, I collapsed in the grass, lying on my back and panting.
Omie knelt down next to me. "Queen Malora told me you were worried I wouldn't be honest with you."
"I didn't mean-"
"I know you didn't," she said. "At home, we'd make you keep running. You have more in you, and we make you run until you don't. We're not going to do that today. This is a part of training you won't like at least until you have learned where your limits really are. You aren't there, even if you think you are."
"This wasn't," I said, still gasping, "so bad."
She smiled. "No. It's not."
She let me catch my breath, then pulled me upright until I was sitting. "Ready to learn about the staff?" And I nodded.
Omie stepped away for a minute. Maya had left us with a tent with supplies. Omie collected four staffs from it then gestured. I got up, and I saw Ralla pull Jasmine to her feet, and the three of us collected around Omie.
She turned to Ralla. "I know I'm the new companion trainer," she said, "but I've never started with raw recruits."
"You've seen it done enough times," Ralla said. "You'll be fine."
Omie nodded. "Let's do it this way. Ralla, if you can stand here, holding a staff. Beria and Jasmine, behind her and try to copy her."
We each took a staff. Ralla took her staff in two hands and stood with her legs offset about shoulder width apart. I studied her for a moment then tried to emulate her. I saw Jasmine doing the same.
Omie walked around both of us, making adjustments to how we were standing.
"The staff is both weapon and shield," she said. "Ralla and I will show you. Quarter speed, Ralla." She squared off to Ralla, sideways to us so Jasmine and I could both see. She nodded to Ralla, and Ralla took a swing with her staff. Omie blocked it, then it was her turn. She swung, slowly, at Ralla, who blocked it. The two of them took turns like that for a while, then Omie said, "Hold" and stepped back.
"That means 'stop'," I said.
"Yes," Omie said. "That means stop fighting. New companions train with their warriors. Once you've had a little experience, you will start training with others, but we don't allow that at the beginning because one of you is likely to make a mistake, and we don't want anyone getting clobbered."