by Robin Roseau
I lowered my head, and our lips met.
It wasn't our best kiss. It wasn't our best kiss by far. But it was good, salty with dried tears, but good. I had forgotten what she tasted like, but it all came back.
She moaned, and so did I. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her more tightly to me. She moaned again.
The voices began, and as soon as they did, she pushed away, but then she stopped, a foot away.
"It's not goodbye," she said. "It's our last kiss, but it's not the end of our love. I am still here, and so are you. I love you, Beria. I always will."
And then she fled.
A moment later, Maya entered the hut and immediately pulled me into her arms.
"She's gone," I said. "She's gone."
"No," Maya whispered. "She's not. She's always in your heart, and you're always in hers." And then, slowly, she stilled the horrible voices, taking far longer than it usually took.
Conviction
I didn't want to stay for dinner, but Maya begged me to. "Please, Beria. I need you right now."
She had never needed me before.
And so I had gone for dinner with her, and afterwards we collected mugs of cider and returned to her hut. A few minutes later, Malora, Nori and Rora joined us. I glanced at Maya, but she smiled. "Just friends getting together, Beria. That's all."
We all sat on the floor, Maya between Malora and me, and then my sister rotated around, laying her head in my lap and her feet in Malora's. "You may massage, my adoring subjects."
Rora looked pointedly at Maya and then turned towards Nori. "I wonder if that would work for me."
"You can try," Nori said. "You never know."
And darned if she didn't rotate around until she was resting partway in my lap as well, her shoulder and head against Maya's, and her feet in Nori's lap. Nori chuckled and pulled off her boots before she began her own foot massage.
"Ah," Rora said a few minutes later. "This is the life, Maya. My warrior massaging my feet, your sister running her fingers through my hair."
I wasn't, though. I looked down at her. She glanced up at me and waited. When nothing happened, she said, "Maya, doesn't your sister recognize a hint when she hears one?"
Nori chuckled.
I didn't run my fingers through her hair, but I did set my hand on her shoulder, resting against her neck. Maya had hold of the other one.
We stayed that way for an hour, talking of only easy topics. But finally I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?"
"No," said Malora. "Nothing is pressing, Beria. I just want you close. And ready."
"Ready for what?"
"For whatever I need you for. Whenever I need you. Can I count on you?"
I thought about it. In spite of the fights recently, I knew I'd do anything for her. "Yes, Malora."
She smiled. "I thought so. Have you solved the most recent problem I thrust upon you?"
"I don't know yet. I should know within a day or two."
"And if it's not solved?"
"Then I'll go with you in three weeks and probably request some personnel changes."
She nodded. "All right. I would prefer to keep you in your current jobs for now, but I want this problem solved more than keeping you in either job. If either of them are a conflict, then we'll figure something out."
"If it goes badly, may I please come home?"
"Of course," she said.
"You know I'm asking you to replace me at Lake Juna."
"I understood."
"Thank you."
The voices were quiet, very quiet. I bent down and kissed Maya's forehead. Rora immediately asked where her kiss was. So I left a kiss on her forehead, too. Nori chuckled. "They have us wrapped around their fingers, don't they?"
"Yes," I said. "I'm not sure I mind." I looked at Malora and grinned. "It's nice knowing the queen answers to someone."
* * * *
I left a few minutes later. Nori walked me to the stable.
"I'm sorry about the skins," she said. "I thought it was an important lesson. I may not have any more for you."
"It's fine," I said. "And for all I know, it may turn out to be moot."
"Maya told me what you were saving the skins for," she said. "Part of me is hoping you're very angry at me tomorrow."
I laughed. "I won't be angry, either way. But I might be back in a few hours."
She hugged me briefly. We didn't hug often, but it felt nice. Then she helped me with my horse and gear. "Remember what I said about two swords. I really think you should start carrying them."
"Can you ask Maya to find me one?"
"I'll have it waiting the next time you're here."
* * * *
The village was quiet as I unsaddled my horse. I brushed her out, but she was sleepy and wanted to be left alone. I carried my things to my hut then stood there, wondering what to do.
Finally I turned around and stepped outside, then walked the forty steps to the hut Lia shared with her daughters. I listened for a moment, then slipped inside, moving quietly.
She had two beds, side-by-side at the other end of the hut. Both beds were the same size; all our beds were the same size. There were two sleeping forms in one, and a single form in the other. It was hard to tell from size who was whom.
I crossed to the side with the single occupant and recognized Lia. I knelt down, staring into her peaceful face, then reached forward and brushed her cheek with a single finger. She opened her eyes, saw me, and smiled.
"I talked to Omie," I said. "I told her about you. I kissed her one last kiss."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I loved you."
Her smile broadened. "If you think you are coming to bed wearing all those clothes, you are mistaken."
"What?"
"You heard me."
I undressed in record time, and when I was done, she held the covers open for me. I slipped between them to discover she was wearing my nightshirt.
"What's this?"
"It helps me think of you," she said. She pulled me into her arms, laying my head on her shoulder. "Hold me now."
And I did.
I hadn't slept so well in years.
* * * *
"There's someone in bed with Mama."
"Shhh. Let them sleep, Annalise."
"But there's someone in bed with Mama!"
"It's Chief Beria," Joelle said, far more quietly than her sister. "Come on. Get dressed. We can go see if Aunt Tamma is up yet."
"Why is Chief Beria in bed with Mama?"
"I think she had a bad dream," Joelle said. "Remember when Tamma said companions help with the bad dreams?"
"But Mama isn't a companion."
"Come on, Annalise. First one dressed is the winner."
If they were loud when they were talking, they were really loud when they raced to see who could get dressed fastest. But after another minute or so, the hut grew quiet again as two young girls when scrambling out the door in search of mischief somewhere else.
As soon as they were gone, I began giggling.
"Oh, you can laugh now," Lia said, "but now I have to figure out what to tell them later."
I had my arms wrapped around her and my nose buried in her hair. "You smell nice," I said. "I haven't slept that well in a very long time. Thank you, Lia."
She rolled over onto her back then bent her head and kissed my nose.
"That's all I get?" I complained.
"I don't know about you, but I have morning breath."
"Eww. Right. A good companion would have slipped out of the bed and cleaned her teeth then slipped back without waking her warrior."
"I'm pretty sure the warrior has morning breath, too. And I will point out the warrior hasn't actually asked the lady if the lady agreed to become her companion."
I stilled. She was right.
"Well?"
"You want me to ask now? You're not going to make me get down on one knee
after showering you with flowers?"
"You won't know until you ask, will you?"
I propped up on one elbow so I could see her better. "Lia, I love you. Will you become my companion?"
"And?"
"Hmm?"
"What else do you want?"
"Um." I wasn't sure if it was a particularly difficult question or if my mind just wasn't working yet.
"I'll give you a hint," she said. "We're sharing a bed. I'm not wearing a lot of clothing, but you're wearing even less."
I smiled. "Lia, will you become my companion and my lover and my partner in life?"
She turned her head. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"I didn't exactly plan this part."
"Did you plan the part where you slipped naked into my bed?"
"Um. I wouldn't say I planned it. I thought about it a lot."
"I'll think about it."
"What?"
"I said, 'I'll think about it.' "
That was when I realized that while I had told her I loved her, she hadn't even hinted how she felt.
"I see." I pulled away. "Do you have any idea how long this thinking process will take?"
"I'm not sure," she said. "I have to clean my teeth. And you have to clean yours. And you have to explain to me where we'll live. And I have to point out I have two daughters, and remind you there are certain limits on what I'm willing to do in a bed positioned immediately next to theirs."
I sat up the rest of the way and swung my feet to the floor. It felt familiar when she moved to kneel behind me, pressing against my back and wrapping her arms around me.
"And," she added, "there's something even more important I need to tell you. But I am going to want to kiss you afterwards, and for that-"
"I know. You don't want to experience warrior morning breath."
She kissed my bare shoulder.
"I'm glad summer is approaching," she said.
"Why is that?"
"Do you know how much I enjoyed watching you when we went swimming last summer?"
"Oh? You like looking at me do you?"
"Yes." She leaned away from me. "You have these muscles." She traced her hands along my back and down my arms. "So taut."
"I liked watching you, too," I admitted.
"I know. I caught you more than once." She kissed my shoulder again. Then she chuckled.
"What?"
"There are crushed flowers in your braid."
"Oh, I'm sorry. They're probably all over your bed, too."
"I like them," she said. She sniffed at my hair. "They smell nice. I would not have expected you to be the flowers in the hair type. Is there a story behind it?"
I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her. I didn't say anything.
"Let me rephrase that question, Beria." But she wrapped her arms around me before she continued. "I don't like being shut out."
"Omie and I talked for a long time," I said. "She took me to a meadow with early spring flowers. Maya showed it to me once years ago. We came away with a lot of flowers. We put them in our hair and decorated our huts with it. Omie always liked it, and she would let me braid flowers into her hair, too. Maya still does it for Malora."
"Did Omie put these here?"
"No. I did. She did her own."
"It would be okay if she did, Beria," Lia told me.
"I'll always love her, Lia," I said.
"I know you will. I'm not sure I'd feel as deeply about you as I do if you weren't the type to love so deeply. There is a part of me that will be sad I wasn't here with the two of you, that I missed that part of your life. But I'll never be jealous. I really would like her and me to be friends."
I turned to face her. "Did you just say 'yes'?"
She smiled. "Get dressed."
"You know as soon as I get out there, everyone is going to need me."
"And they can have you when I'm done with you. That will not be for some time."
Feeling better, I climbed to my feet and hastily pulled clothes on. When I glanced at Lia, she was doing the same. I finished and turned to her, but she held up a hand and waved a finger at me.
"We'll go take care of what we each need to take care of and then meet back here," she said. "Don't take too long."
Then she didn't wait but headed for the door of the hut. I followed along behind her. And damn if she didn't wriggle her ass at me.
"Tease."
"Incentive to hurry," she said.
"Hurry" was a relative word. To add to the complexity, Joelle and Annalise had clearly spread the word that their mother hadn't slept alone, and half the village was hovering around to see me emerge from the hut. There were a lot of grins.
I got ten feet before Glorana and Frida made a beeline for me.
"Sleep well, Chief Beria?" Frida asked.
"I did, thank you for asking," I said. I didn't slow down.
"Do you have anything to tell us?" Glorana asked. The two scrambled into place beside me.
"Is there anything that requires my immediate attention? Or can it all wait until later?"
"Oh, I'm sure there are things requiring your attention," Frida said. "About this tall, blonde hair, soft, warm. Does she kiss good?"
I stopped and turned to her. They were both grinning at me.
"There are going to be some changes around here," I told them.
"I imagine there are," Frida said.
"And they've been a long time coming," Glorana added. "It's about time, Beria."
She never called me that. I was always "Chief Beria" to everyone in the village except Aura and Lia.
"Don't jump to conclusions," I said quietly. "She hasn't said 'yes' yet. Now, is there anything I need to take care of? I have a companion to woo. We might be late to training."
"We will assume that means you're engaged in a little private training," Frida said with a grin.
"We had a small disciplinary problem," Glorana said. "Our two youngest members had a knock-down, drag-out fight two days ago."
"Oh hell. Were weapons involved?"
"No, but there was significant hair pulling before their mother got them separated."
"Has it been addressed?"
"We let Lia handle it," Glorana said.
"They seemed fine this morning," I said. "Thank you for telling me."
"That's it," Frida said. She hadn't stopped grinning at me. "I find the phrase, 'I adore you' is very affective, and it's a good change from 'I love you' and 'I want to ravage your body like the voracious beast I am'."
Glorana laughed. "She really uses that last one. Yalta loves it, but when I tried it with Rahna, she wasn't quite so amused. I'd consider it cautiously."
"I'll give your exalted advice all due consideration," I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me."
I was waylaid once more on the way to the latrines. And twice on the way back. All three times were for trivial items, and I was sure the women involved were simply trying to tease me.
When I got to Lia's hut, she was straightening up, making the beds and such. She turned to me with a smile. I closed the distance to her, and she pulled me into her arms. The kiss was long, warm, and full of promise.
"Ah," she said. She pulled me closer to the bed, then knelt down in front of me and helped me out of the boots. Her feet were already bare, and a moment later we were back under the covers, although otherwise fully dressed. We nestled in each other's arms for a moment, then she pressed me back against the pillow and loomed over me.
"Beria," she said. She caressed my face. I watched her, but then she brushed her fingers over my eyes, and I closed them. She bent over and kissed each eye, then nestled against me.
"I love you, too," she said. "I have for a long time. But I needed you to settle things with Omie."
I turned my face to look at her. She kissed me, although it was done quickly.
"I don't want to talk about that right now," she said, "and we don't have to talk about it if you never want to, but we can if you want. Later today, next week
, next year. I know you love her. I suspect you'll call me by her name from time to time. I don't promise to always take it well, but I'll always forgive you later."
She caressed me again. "I hope she and I will be friends, and Aren and I. It may be that's not what you want. It may be too painful for one or the other of you. I don't know if you and Aren are friends."
"Not really," I said. "We get along, but we sort of avoid each other."
"Well, I want you to try to fix that," she said. "But it may be that Aren and I will talk about it."
"Did you just say 'yes'?"
She smiled. "How would this work?"
"We'll keep both huts. I'll use mine more like, I don't know. An office. When Malora comes to visit, she and Maya can have it. If you and I want privacy, we can go there, if we can't have it here."
She smiled.
"What about when you travel?"
I turned away, but she pulled my face back to her. "Why are you about to shut me out?"
"I'm not," I said. "I'm about to tell you why I fought with Malora, but I'm not sure I can look at you when I do."
"You better be able to look at me," she said.
"She gave me an ultimatum."
"About me?"
"She demanded I take a companion. It got ugly."
"Because you didn't want one?"
"Because you were waiting for something, and I didn't know what. I thought it was because you wanted to let the girls grow up a little longer, or something like that. You should know most of Queen's Town knows our business. It got loud at times."
"Were you angry she made it a demand?"
"I was angry she was meddling and no one would leave me alone about it. In the end, before she let me leave, she was quite blunt."
"Tell me, Beria," Lia said.
"She gave me a week. Resolve the situation with you or let Maya find someone else."
Lia pursed her lips. "I understand why you didn't want to tell me."
"Yesterday Nori did something completely unrelated that made me angry all over again. I almost left without talking to Omie, but she found me, and we talked. But in between, Maya tried to calm me down. I told her to tell her warrior to back off and leave me alone. I told her that if her warrior was dissatisfied with the way I was handling my jobs, she could have my resignation for either or both of them. I told her if she wanted to banish me, she could. But otherwise she should back off."