by Matt Shaw
I pulled Ethan towards it and opened the door with a sharp tug of the long, metal handle. The door opened and the cold air instantly hit us both. “In here!” I ordered him as I stepped inside.
I didn’t close the door behind us for fear of getting trapped inside. I went as far back as I could, turned around and waited to see if any spiders came for us. There was nothing, though. Thankfully. I slumped down to my knees, tired by the sudden burst of energy. My body was struggling with the heat, lack of proper rest and food - a sudden run was not what I needed right now. I glanced up at Ethan who just looked lost.
“Are you okay?” I asked. He didn’t answer me. “Ethan!” I called out. His eyes fixed upon mine. “Are you okay?” I asked him again - even though I knew the answer was obviously going to be along the lines of ‘no’.
He shook his head, “I can’t stay here,” he said, “I need to go back. They’re probably wondering where I am. Probably scared that I just ran off and left them...”
The dazed expression, the way he was speaking, I could tell that he was in shock. He went to leave the confines of the walk-in freezer but stopped when I grabbed his arm.
“You can’t go out there!” I said in a stern voice.
“But they need me...”
I just wanted to shout at him that they were dead. I just wanted to shout that it was too late. I couldn’t bring myself to do it though. He was already broken and that might have sent him over the edge, if he isn’t already over it.
“They’re safe,” I told him. I wasn’t sure if lying was the best course of action or whether I’d be making matters worse but...Well, it just came out of my mouth. I continued my deceit, “I saw them in the car - they were okay. They had the windows wound up, nothing could get in there.” I felt bad for him - first his wife and now his children - but there was nothing we could do about it now. Going outside now would be nothing short of suicidal.
“They’re safe?” he said. A sound of relief in his voice.
I nodded, unable to say the words again.
“And so are we. Your theory was right. The spiders don’t like the cooler temperature. We can just wait here until the evening when it gets cooler. And then, we can make a move.”
“With my daughters?”
Another nod to save myself the lie. I’ll worry about what to say to him later, when the time calls for it. In the meantime, I just need to keep us both out of harm’s way and if that means bending the truth then so be it.
“We’ll just wait here. If you get too cold - we can step into the corridor for a couple of seconds and come back in again before we get too warm,” I instructed him. The fact the spiders haven’t even followed us into the actual back area of the shop speaks volumes as to how reliant they are on heat - and maybe even sunshine. They probably stopped chasing when we got to the freezer area, in the main shop, and retreated back to the safety of the outside world - which was, once again, melting in ridiculous heatwave.
I only hope the military doesn’t reach this far with their plan. To die by spider or explosion. It would be a tough decision to call. Worry about it when the explosions sound closer. At the moment, they seem to have stopped. Maybe because the planes are base-bound, to get more ammunition or maybe because they’ve finished their detail. Regardless, I’ll keep listening out.
Ethan sank to his knees and started to weep. I didn’t say anything, even though I felt as though I should have. Part of me wondered whether he was slowly coming to terms with what had happened to his children whilst another part of me considered that he could just now be grieving for the wife he lost. Poor guy.
Slowly I reached across and put my hand on his shoulder. He titled his head and rested the side of his face against my hand. I felt a little awkward but didn’t move away. If it helps him, leave him be.
When he made no signs of moving, I positioned myself closer to him and put my arm around his shoulder, “Here, come here,” I said as I pulled him close to my chest. He reached around my back with his arm and held me tight. Good for both of us - sharing warmth and comfort. He continued to weep like a lost child.
If only he were still a child. I find it easy comforting frightened children when I’m working in the school. I find it a lot more awkward when it’s someone who is not only fully grown but someone who had been so instrumental in helping me stay safe. A selfish part of me wishes he’d revert back to that kind of man; strong bodied and strong minded. And then, in the back of my mind, another part of me wished that I had never left the camp with him in the first place.
Had I not, I’d still be safe now. I mean, they wouldn’t be dropping bombs near themselves and, the air-conditioning units in the tents, whether intentional or not, would keep the spiders away.
“I’m sorry,” said Ethan as he pulled himself away from me, wiping the tears from his face. Probably a wise move before they froze in place.
“It’s fine,” I reassured him, “I understand,” I continued even though there was no way I could understand what he had been through or how he must be feeling. Yes, there was a part of me which feared I had lost my family but I didn’t have to witness it first hand and there was always a little ray of hope that they’d be okay. Especially now I knew the spiders don’t like the lower temperatures. Now I know that, or at least now we think we know that, there’s a good chance my family - back in my hometown - have no idea how bad it is down here with regards to the spiders. They’ve probably just heard about an infection and that people are getting evacuated. In fact, if anyone is worrying within my family, they’re probably sat at home worrying about me.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Ethan whispered. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve never really known. I’m sorry for bringing you out here. I’m sorry...”
“Don’t be,” I said, despite that little part of me wishing I hadn’t gone with him, “look what we’ve discovered. That information could help put a stop to this and, regardless, it shows that when the weather changes - well, everything will change. The spiders will just die...If we hadn’t left the camp - would we have discovered that? Would anyone have put two and two together...”
“At the cost of my entire family,” he said.
I looked into his eyes, seemingly black in colour now. I guess he realised his children were....gone....now. Even so, I skipped past what he said as I figured it was the best thing to do - considering I had lied to him only what felt like minutes earlier.
“We just need to wait until it gets cooler outside, like I suggested, and then we should go back to the camp. The explosions have stopped now but they might start again - if they do...Well, they won’t be doing it on their own camp, will they? We should just go back, tell them what we know...They can pass the information on to the relevant people and then - that’s it....We stick with them for however long this mess takes to sort out and then go from there. The country will get on its feet again...”
“But who is to blame?” he asked. “Who needs to answer for this?”
I shrugged.
“Whoever caused this - they killed my family...”
“I’m sorry,” I told him. And I was. I didn’t know who was to blame, though. My day started just as his had presumably started - a trip to work on just another seemingly normal day and then all Hell broke loose. I was as much in the dark as he was. To be honest, I don’t think I even care as to how it started. I just want it to be done with. Finished. He looked as though he wanted to start crying again so I changed the subject back to what we should do when we leave here, “You can wait here, tonight, and I’ll run out the front...I’ll try and find us a car. The fact that there are cars abandoned all over the place; one of them must have a key left in the ignition...Once I have it, I’ll come back here...Sound the horn...”
“I’ll go,” he said.
“No - you’ve done enough. Let me.” I didn’t really want to act the heroine here but I figured my mind was in a better place than his. After all, did he really care if he lived or died now? A bit p
resumptuous I know but if I were in his position - I know I wouldn’t be bothered if I died. Not if it meant being with my family again. I kept my thoughts to myself - I didn’t want to go putting any ideas into his head. “Just as soon as it cools a little,” I said.
I fretted about how much a ‘little’ was. Was it really a case of a couple of degrees cooler or did it have to cool down a lot? Some of the nights, recently, have been just as stifling as the daytime. There was no answer to this. The only way I’d be able to tell was to put a brave face on and venture out. I’ll stick to the areas I know are definitely cooler, to start with, like next to the freezers. From there I can keep an eye out for anything which may be moving. The slightest hint of danger and I’ll run back here. Already my heart was beating at a speed which hurt. Try not to think about it yet. Try and get some rest.
Easier said than done - especially as the store’s alarm is still ringing in my ears; an irritating high pitched squeal. I wish I knew how to deactivate it.
I leaned my back against the cold metal shelving unit of the freezer and flinched from the coolness of it.
“Here,” said Ethan. He positioned himself against the shelving unit and invited me to lean into his arm, an invitation I gladly accepted. He still doesn’t seem to be himself but I’m grateful for the fact he seems to be a little more aware of what is happening after his funny turn - a turn which I understood...I think, if he hadn’t reacted in some way to what had happened, I’d be more concerned. We perched there, on the floor of the freezer, for a few more minutes. The annoying shriek of the alarm starting to get blocked from my hearing as my brain got more used to hearing it and tried its best to filter it out for me. “Do you think it hurts?” Ethan suddenly asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The bite. When someone is bitten. Do you think it hurts?”
I didn’t know what to say. I remember the look on the faces of the school children - the ones who weren’t pulled to safety in time by the soldiers. The children who were bitten. Their faces were contorted in such a way they looked as though they were in extreme agony. Never before had I witnessed such expressions and I hope to God that I never have to see them again.
“It looks as though it hurts....” Ethan continued. Clearly a conversation he wanted to have.
“I don’t know,” I said. After a slight pause I continued with my honest opinion, “I think...I think that the people are dead as soon as the bite occurs. I think their faces change...They look to be in pain...But I think that’s just because of what is happening...Under the surface.” I was trying to choose my words carefully so as not to cause him further upset but felt myself failing on every level. I was never supposed to be a counsellor. I had never taken any training for it and didn’t relish the newfound position I seemed to be in. “They’re just moving because of...the changes they’re going through...”
He changed the subject, as though he was never really listening to my answers, “Where do you think they are from? Do you believe it’s some kind of military experiment gone wrong?”
“It makes sense,” I told him, “where else could they have come from? If they weren’t some kind of experiment...Surely we would have heard about them before? You know - in whatever country they originated from.”
“But what if they came from an island. A small island in the middle of nowhere with only a few tribesmen living there? The island would have been decimated. There’d be no-one left to tell the tale.”
“But that wouldn’t explain how they came to our country,” I told him. I didn’t say anything else, I just hoped that he’d try and get some rest - and allow me the opportunity to get some rest too, especially as I had to get myself mentally prepared to venture out in a couple of hours to try and find us a ride.
“Maybe they have an anti-venom,” he said. His brain was clutching at straws. Wishful thoughts which we both knew weren’t likely to come true. A desperate hope that his family could still be saved despite knowing they were already dead. It wasn’t my place to say anything. Besides, I believe he knew the likelihood just as much as I did. What makes it even more tragic, this whole situation, is that we’d probably never know how it originated. “You didn’t hear the soldiers talk about anything else?” he asked. “Did they have any other plans? Were people supposed to just wait at the camp? There must have been more of a plan than that...There must have been another idea up their sleeves other than just to take as many people away from the situation as possible and hide them in some remote camp until everything settles down!”
“I’m sorry - I didn’t hear anything,” I said. I just wished he leave it alone now. I tried my best not to get upset with him. I tried my best to keep a level head and remain calm but I felt myself struggling. This whole situation, what I had witnessed...Everything...I felt as though it was all becoming too much for me. All I wanted to do was to break down in tears and wait for someone to come and rescue me. Someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay and mean it.
“You saw what the people were getting like at the camp - some of them at least. Tempers were high. The soldiers wouldn’t be able to keep them there for long, not without answers. They must have said something else too. They must have!”
“They didn’t!” I started to cry but he didn’t seem to care. A coldness in him born out of grief.
He continued regardless, “Although getting as many people away seemed to be a wise move. The spread of spiders was less obvious. If they had left the people in the cars, waiting in the long queues...If the spiders had got to them the infestation would have been fast...Certainly too fast to get away from. Maybe they do know what they’re doing.” He fell silent; a silence that I hoped would last. “You know,” he continued, dashing my hopes, “I always wanted to emigrate. Always fancied living in Australia. You know, take my family out there. Start again. I like the people. I like the atmosphere. It’s relaxed, you know. Chilled. Everyone seems friendly - at least in the parts I visited years ago. It’s the spiders, though. And I’m not just talking about the poisonous ones. I mean, despite the fact they can cause severe pain and maybe even kill you...They’re quite small to look at. It’s spiders like the huntsman that put me off. Size of dinner plates. I had a bad enough time removing spiders from my house in this country. I think I’d honestly die of shock if I went into my shower room only to be confronted by one of those things...Australians. Balls of steel.”
“I don’t mind the big spiders,” I said. “I mean...up until these last few days I didn’t actually mind spiders but...before all this, I mean, the big spiders are okay because you can see them. You know where they are. It’s the smaller ones that I don’t like. They just vanish. One minute they’re there and the next they’ve disappeared. Or you only know they’re there when they touch your skin - dropping down from the ceiling, or something like that...But I guess we’ll be wary of anything with eight legs after this.” If we survive this. I felt Ethan shift underneath my weight. “Sorry, did you want me to move?”
“It’s fine,” he said.
* * * * *
Unlike Ethan, I hadn’t managed to sleep at all. Not even a stolen nap.
I couldn’t take my eyes away from the open freezer doorway, nervous of the rising temperature on the digital display. No longer in the negative. 9 degrees now. I think it’s safe to say the food in here is ruined now. Like the rest of the country. Broken.
I couldn’t entirely block out the shop’s alarm. Partly because I couldn’t stop from straining to hear if the explosions started again - worried that, not only would they resume but they’d be closer.
I stood up and stepped out of the freezer and into the corridor. I was ready to turn back, in a hurry, if I needed to. It was quite dark in the corridor, illuminated by emergency exit signs only, and I couldn’t see anything. Checking the corners of the ceiling, there was nothing. At least - there appeared to be nothing.
“Do you see anything?” Ethan asked. I must have disturbed him when I moved off his arm. I
looked at him and shook my head. He was rubbing some life back into his numb limb. “No? So where are they? They can’t just disappear when it’s cooler. They must go somewhere!”
“I’m going to find a car.”
He climbed to his feet, moaning in the process - the coldness of the room having got into his joints just as it had got into mine. “Wait,” he said, “I’m coming with you. We need to stick together.”
I should have argued with him. Should have told him to stay behind and wait for me to return. I didn’t, though. The best intentions of letting him rest up, for a change, whilst I ran around putting myself in the line of fire just as he had done for me earlier had gone out of the window. I was grateful he offered to come. Two pairs of eyes were better than one and we had a better chance of survival if we stuck together - even if he did suddenly have any suicidal urges. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to put me in danger. I nodded as he stepped into the corridor and joined me by my side.
“Ready?” I asked.
He nodded.