by CORY CYR
She began walking to her room, but I touched her sleeve. “Look, I apologize. You caught me off guard, or maybe I misinterpreted your words. I’m out of my depth when it comes to girls,” I admitted.
She stopped and turned around, and I found myself staring into delicate brown-green eyes.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m a woman. It’s my fault, really. I should be the one apologizing. You told me you just wanted us to be friends, yet I got other vibes tonight. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention. I’ve never been known for subtlety. Hey, no harm no foul, just a miscommunication. Ignore me. I’m still recovering from jetlag, the constant darkness, and brutal weather. My bad.”
Letting go of her sleeve, I settled on the sofa. “That was quite an admission,” I remarked, folding my hands in my lap, my words growing serious. “I’ve never been good at this kind of thing. I’m more of a bookworm than anything else. Girls, well…”
Her expression lit up with sudden knowledge.
I squirmed with embarrassment. “The truth is I’m not my dad, and I’ve never had much experience with the opposite sex.”
“Maybe that’s because they were girls.” Gabe waved it off. “Look, Riley, whatever happens is on your timetable. I’m in no rush, and neither should you be. There is nothing wrong with you, and I will not be the one to pressure you. I think it’s sweet you’re innocent. Not many men who look like you could wear it so well.”
I silently groaned. No one knew except my dog, and as smart as he was, he wasn’t giving away my secret anytime soon. I hadn’t admitted it, but somehow she knew. All of a sudden, I felt years younger and completely inferior. Out of all my current fears, it never occurred to me that trust should be one of them.
“Your secret is safe with me.” She promised, as if she could read my mind.
I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “Good thing or my street cred might be ruined.”
“You mean you’ve got a reputation?” she teased.
I pushed up the back of my sweater and twisted to display my tattoo.
Her mouth dropped as she stared in awe.
“If it were true, that would be nothing to brag about,” she commented, then moved closer. “I actually like the fact that no other woman has crossed that line with you. It’s kind of exciting and frightening all in one.”
I stood, towering over her by almost a foot. “Can I kiss you?” I asked, feeling my cheeks flood with color. I’d never asked before. It was always a given, at least with my ex-girlfriends. It seemed, around Gabe, shit just fell out of my mouth before my brain had a chance to analyze what I was about to say.
Her expression appeared surprised. “If you want, I’d like that,” she replied as I pulled her into my body.
Fuck, she smelled amazing. Our bodies were so close she had to feel my erection and how fast my heart was beating. My lips brushed against Gabe’s as my tongue slipped into her mouth, and she pressed against my chest. My body hummed as the kiss became ravenous. I’d never felt this connection with anyone, and I wanted more.
She pulled away, panting. “Whoa, that was the kind of lip-lock that leads to other things. I am reeling with ideas,” she whispered, then laughed. “Normally, the guy says that shit. I’m beginning to feel like a harlot taunting you into doing bad things.”
I cringed as I stood there, my cock currently so painful I was squeezing back tears.
“You really should take care of that,” she commented, eyeing my crotch.
I looked away in humiliation.
Her hand lightly swept against my zipper, causing me to hiss in discomfort. “I’m going to bed now, and thanks for tonight, including that panty-melting kiss… I mean, that is if I were wearing any.” Gabe snorted as she headed to her room.
Seriously, I wasn’t sure if I could make the trip upstairs. The panty remark was my breaking point, though I knew she hadn’t worn any—not with those pants.
Maybe having her stay here wasn’t one of my brightest ideas because now, fucking her was the only thing that plagued my mind. I’d always justified my virginity as waiting for the right person. Well, if Gabe wasn’t the right one, she was going to end up the being the precursor.
CHAPTER NINE
Riley
S o much for sleep. I had acute insomnia. Goddamn dick stayed stiff all night. Totally inconvenient.
Padding downstairs, I prayed the cold air would shock my hard-on into submission. Gabe was still asleep or very quiet, so I turned up the heat and put on coffee. Not sleeping gave me time to mull over the pros and cons. No matter what I came up with, it always ended in disappointment. I’d never been the recipient of hurt, but I’d caused it. Case in point, my last girlfriend.
But this woman would be different. I would definitely be the one gouged, not her. She already proved she had the ability to dredge up the one thing I’d kept hidden. Fuck, I’d never even trusted Kai enough to tell him my secret, yet I’d spilled it to a virtual stranger.
As I poured myself a cup of caffeine, I shivered from the cold, wishing the house would warm up quicker. Taking my mug into the living room, I decided a fire was in order and tossed a few logs in the fireplace. I hoped Gabe was prepared because the outside temperature was now in single digits. Even Gray felt the chill, curling up by the fire.
The downstairs bedroom door creaked open, and my eyes darted in that direction. Dressed in loose fleece pants, heavy socks, and a short sweater, Gabe looked sexy as hell, even with her hair awry. “Jesus, it’s cold. I’ve never known this kind of weather. Even skiing in California, it’s not like this,” she complained, crossing her arms and shivering.
I forced a smile. “Give it another ten minutes and the house will be warm as hell. I’ve been turning the heat down at night because it costs too much to run.”
“I have no problem paying that utility bill if it means warmth,” she said, sniffling.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her because my skin was now hot to the touch, but I mentally scoffed at that idea. “If it wasn’t so damn cold outside, I would have suggested checking out some apartments.”
She stopped short in front of me, her eyes studying my attire. “Wait. What? I thought I was staying here. I mean, it is your house, so if you’re asking me to go, I will,” she uttered sadly. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon.”
Back in the kitchen, I poured another cup of coffee for her. “I didn’t mean right this second. I thought about it, and with us working together, it might not be the right fit.” I paused, trying to look away.
“So it’s not because of what we talked about last night. I mean, about your sexual status.”
My cheeks gave me away. “No, no, it’s not about that.”
“That’s good, because I’ll never reveal anything you say. I mean, who would I tell? You’re my only friend, and you can trust me.”
My stare bored into the floor. “Can we not discuss our previous conversation? It’s not something I want to talk about… ever again.
I glanced up as she nodded with understanding.
* * *
The next three weeks were spent quietly ignoring each other. At work, it was strictly professional, and at home, it was me quickly hopping the steps and hiding out in my room. I even neglected my parents’ many phone calls, though I jotted off an email so they wouldn’t panic, leaving out my confusion about Gabe. If this was my dad’s idea and my mom was unaware, she would be upset.
The truth was I was quite humiliated when I admitted my virginity. And if my dad actually had known, that only made it worse. I felt something for Gabe, but I had no idea if it was just lust or something more. This indecisiveness when it came to her was maddening. This woman was distracting me from work, school, and even my own decision-making skills. She muddled every thought.
A huge storm was coming with an unusual amount of snow. The news said it would be too risky to go out, so they suggested staying home unless it was an emergency.
�
��Dude, what is your problem? I was banging on your front door for ten minutes. You deaf, or were you otherwise occupied?” Kai leaned against my bedroom doorjamb, smirking. “I thought maybe you were getting busy with your roomie. Of course, when she answered the door dressed, I knew better. Have you tapped her yet?”
I shook my head in disgust. “Jesus, she’s thirty. I highly doubt her interest lies with younger men.”
“There you go. I’m just about right for her, and even though she’s not my type, I’d gladly take a crack at her.”
I stood nose to nose with Kai. It was true he was more mature. Women generally fawned all over him and somehow always fell into his bed.
“Fuck off. I don’t want to have to deal with the aftermath crap storm of you screwing my roommate. I have to work with her every day, so just bang someone else. I’m sure you have tons on a waitlist.”
Kai pushed me back slightly. “Wow, Riley, you make me feel like a gigolo. At least one of us should get some action. Ever since she moved in, you never call, we hardly hang out anymore, and when I do see you, you treat me bad.” He fretted comically. “Oh my God, I sound like a chick.”
“Exactly. This is the reason I don’t want you fucking Gabe.”
His eyes met mine. “Oh, you keep telling yourself that. I’ve known you for years, and I can tell by the way you’re acting that the only reason you’d have a problem with me and her getting together is that you’ve set your sights on Gabe,” he observed. Kai’s hand stopped short of my face, cutting off my protest. “Don’t even try to deny it. I’m your best friend, so heed my advice. If you want her, don’t wait. Because some other guy is going to make a move, and then it will be too late. Just do it, my friend.”
Everything he was saying made sense except for the fact I had no skills. Gabe would probably do it because she felt sorry for me, and who didn’t want to be the one to burst a virgin’s cherry? I had always used the excuse that I wanted my first to be with someone I loved. Was desire enough of a reason? I did have feelings for her, but we’d only known each other barely a month. Could I live with the fact that I’d pushed away every girl, including Megan, because I felt no connection with them? Now I was ready to cross that threshold because of base attraction.
“You know what, Kai? I need to study,” I said, picking up a book.
“I’m going. Just wanted to check in on my boy because you’ve been making yourself scarce the last few weeks.”
I tossed him a sarcastic look as he walked out. When I heard mumbling downstairs, I listened at the door. No matter how I pressed my ear against the wood, I couldn’t make out shit. Finally, the front door closed.
Hungry, I decided to go to the kitchen. Good excuse anyway. I slammed my book shut and reached for a sweater, pulling it over my head. It didn’t quite match my sweats, and I smiled to myself because Holly would be mortified.
As I padded down the steps, the smell of food drifted around me. The fireplace was going, and the dining room table had been set. Was Gabe having someone over?
“Oh, I’m glad you finally came down. Dinner’s almost ready. I made turkey tetrazzini with salad and rolls. I figured a few snow days warranted a good meal, and we really haven’t talked in a while. This storm isn’t going to be as bad as they’re saying, is it?” She appeared genuinely concerned.
My angst was more about the dinner than the storm. “I didn’t know you had such culinary skills,” I observed.
“I get by. My mother taught me a few things. I thought I could make a few meals, considering I am staying here virtually free. I wanted to contribute.” She paused, and her expression grew serious. “So should I be concerned about this impending storm?”
I shook my head as I sat in the dining room. “This structure has weathered many storms. It will hold up. My main concern is if there’s a vet emergency. Getting out could be a problem.”
“What about the electricity?”
“The fireplace will suffice if it goes out. Now quit expecting the worst. I’m starved.”
I wasn’t actually starved, but hoped dinner would get her mind on something else.
Gabe brought a basket of steaming rolls, followed by a mixed salad. I tried not to look at her because, even in plain baggy pants and a long-sleeved shirt touting a California logo, she looked appealing. Taking a bite of a roll, I could hardly swallow.
She brought in a deep bowl filled with the main dish. My stomach growled as she served me. Her scent wafted all around me as I tried to convince myself her living here would never work.
“How is it?” she asked, wiping her lips with a napkin.
“Really good,” I replied around a bite of tetrazzini. I hadn’t eaten any good homecooked meals in a while. And the dinner served two purposes: feeding my belly and calming my cock.
How exactly was I going to survive being snowed in with Gabe? I had been sexually frustrated for years. True, it was of my own volition, but nevertheless, she was a temptress without even trying.
“We might be snowed in a few days. I have tons of board games. I mean, if you’re into those,” I mentioned.
Our hands touched at the breadbasket, and desire pulsed through my body.
“Sure. I like games. Got any dirty ones?” she taunted. “Ignore me. I’m going to get punchy being penned in with you. I can think of so many other things to occupy our time.” She pouted. “Don’t be afraid of me.”
She was laying it all out again, unabashed in her conversation and mine for the taking.
“I’m not sure how to respond to what you just said. I’m afraid I’d be a disappointment to someone who is obviously sexually savvy. And I’m uncertain it should happen because, technically, I may be the business owner, but you're my boss,” I confessed. “It’s all moot anyway because I’m not going there with you. To be honest, I’m having a hard time understanding your interest in me. I’m not anything special… and ten years younger.” I stopped as I tipped my chair back. “Or is it because you’d be my first and you could mold me any way you want?”
“You sound hostile. I would hope you wouldn’t find my words nefarious. My slight humor was to make you comfortable or relaxed, not piss you off. I’m sorry if you believe I have ill intentions, because I don’t. If you’re not interested in taking our friendship to the next level, I’ll stop my innuendos immediately. You already know how I feel, and age is not a factor. I’m attracted to you as a man. Would I like to be your first? Yes. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t appealing, and, Riley, I will never lie to you.” Gabe promised.
“If your idea was to make this conversation comfortable, I’m not feeling it. I can’t deny my interest in you, but I also know it will end badly. Of that I’m certain. Did you know my mom is thirteen years older than my dad? As much as I want what they have, I have no intention of going through the hell they went through. Many parts of their love story were anything but a fairy tale.”
Gabe stood, gathering empty dishes. “Stop right there. Who said anything about love or anything serious? Sex can be about pleasure without other emotions involved. This talk we’re having has gotten way too intense. No wonder you’re afraid.”
I jumped out of my chair, hovering over her tiny frame. “Just for the record, I am not afraid,” I snapped angrily. “You must be quite arrogant if you think I’m scared just because I’ve said no to your advances.”
She stomped into the kitchen with me trailing behind her. “Wow… just wow. You really think highly of yourself. If I wanted sex that badly, I’d call Kai. He left me his number.”
I bristled as she waved a piece of paper in front of my face. Fucking Kai. What a prick. “You should have thought about that before the storm. Probably too late now,” I pointed out.
“Just forget it. I’m not getting into a pissing match with a child,” she mumbled as she let the plates clatter in the sink.
So there it was. Gabe thought I was a child. In all fairness, I was acting like one. But in reality, I had made it clear before that us getting togeth
er wasn’t a good idea. But now I didn’t know, and maybe I had lost the chance because I’d acted like a dumb shit. I was used to dealing with girls my age.
“Look, it’s clear our verbal exchange got out of hand. Let’s just lay down our gauntlets for now. I don’t want to argue with you.” Because basically, you’re causing my brain to explode along with my hormones. You’re making me act as though I have a neurosis.
Her expression softened as she handed me rinsed-off plates to put in the dishwasher. “I don’t want to fight either. This weather makes me tired. I think once the kitchen is cleaned up, I’m going to bed. Sorry I got in your face.”
“No problem. My sister did that quite often. I guess I’ve missed it,” I joked. “If you want to crash, I can finish up here.”
“Yeah, I am pretty beat. Once again, I apologize for anything I said that made you want to kick me out,” she added. “I would hate to think that my attraction turned you off. Clearly, my seduction technique needs some work.” Gabe snorted.
I stared into sultry eyes and internally deduced her seduction skills lacked zero. She was perfect in every way.
I could push her toward Kai, but he was in it only for the sex. He had never once made an effort to see a girl a second time unless they hadn’t already had sex, and that was a rarity. No, Gabe was too flawless for him.
I too had made advances. Sure, they weren’t as clear cut as Gabe’s, but they were still suggestive in nature. What was she supposed to think?
Having her here was going to drive me crazy. It was bad enough to see her at work. Something was going to break.
CHAPTER TEN
Riley
O nce I cleaned up the kitchen, I decided to head to bed, too. I could hear the rain coming down in sheets, knowing the snow would follow. I turned the thermostat down but left it running along with the fireplace. If I didn’t, the house would be unbearably cold in the morning, and with all the snow, the temperature would plummet to below freezing. The storm was coming in fast.