by Maya Hughes
“Can I take over?” It wasn’t Esme, though. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I tightened my grip on the spatula. I glanced over my shoulder and my heart thundered. He nodded toward the pans and spatula.
“Sure, go right ahead,” I said, handing Rhys the spatula before scooting my chair up to the table. His eyes were on me the entire way. I didn’t have to look up to know. His gaze was hot and intense, and waited for Rhys to slide a pancake onto my plate. I thanked him, keeping my eyes firmly on my plate. Maybe I could drown out the feelings rushing through my body with a hearty helping of carbs and sugar. I stole a peek at him as I lifted the first bite to my lips. Mistake!
His muscled back, as he moved deftly from pan to pan, flipping pancakes and sliding the bacon onto a plate, drove me to distraction.
“Mel, can we go to the zoo? I decided.”
“Sure, kiddo. We can go to the zoo.”
“Daddy, are you going to come?”
I nearly choked on my food. I grabbed a glass of orange juice with both hands and gulped it down. I wasn’t sure which was better, if he came or not.
RHYS
Waking up was always rough. Never being able to fall asleep unless I was at the point of exhaustion meant mornings were never my favorite. When I opened my eyes, the sun wasn’t peeking over the horizon as it usually was when I first woke. It was in the sky. I checked my clock. After seven. Esme rarely let me sleep past the first crack of dawn.
I hopped up out of bed and raced to her room. My heart pounded in my chest. She wasn’t there. The smell of bacon and sweetness snapped me out of it. Mel! How could I have forgotten?
Esme sat in her chair, wolfing down pancakes like they were going out of style, as music played from a phone on the table. Mel danced at the stove, her attention on the sizzling food in the pans. It hit me right in the chest, seeing the two of them there together. A deep ache for how things should have been. It all felt so normal. So right.
I kissed Esme on the top of her head as she shoveled pancakes into her mouth. Syrup stuck to the tip of her nose. Once Mel noticed I was there, she relinquished pancake duty to me.
I stood at the stove, spatula in hand. Esme and Mel sat at the table behind me, talking and having fun. I couldn’t suppress my smile. It was so normal.
“Daddy, are you going to come?” Mel made a small choking at her question. So innocently asked, but Mel’s reaction let me know exactly where her mind was. It was the same place my mind had gone when I walked into the kitchen and saw her in those pajama shorts and tank top, with her hair up on top of her head. Beautiful.
I wanted to go with them, but I couldn’t. Duty called.
“I can’t today, sweetheart, but I’m sure you’ll have a great time with Mel.”
The rest of breakfast went along quickly. Mel finished her plate of pancakes, not looking up at me once. Esme had her full attention. Every question, every comment, she was right there giving Esme her complete attention. It wasn’t even something that I could do all the time. And Esme glowed under the attention. She was livelier than she’d been in quite some time.
Derek walked in like he did every morning ready for whatever the day had in store for us. Esme didn’t talk, but she didn’t close in on herself like she usually did.
“Derek, Melanie and Esme are going to head to the zoo today.”
“I’ll have the car ready as soon as you ladies are good to go,” he said to Melanie.
“Great. Thanks. What do you say we go get ready, kiddo?” She wiped her mouth on a napkin and they cleaned up their dishes. “I can take care of this later.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
And just like that, they were gone from the kitchen to go get ready.
“She looks pretty comfortable,” Derek said, checking out the table and the rest of the kitchen. It had a lived in feel it hadn’t had before.
“It would seem so.”
“Are you sure you want me to go with them? I can have five guys here in under an hour.”
I didn’t want anyone else watching over them but Derek. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be in my office all day. At least with them, you’ll get some fresh air.” I’d be going through files. Making phone calls. Trying to make sure these challenges weren’t going to screw up anything with my inheritance.
“If you say so,” Derek grumbled as I walked back to my room. I passed by Esme’s room and the sounds of laughter and talking were music to my ears. The apartment wasn’t filled with silence anymore. Joy filled it to the point of overflowing.
I wanted more of that. I wanted more of that for Esme, and I wanted even just a sliver of it for myself.
13
MEL
The first days flew by. We settled into a routine that included, school, dinners and a lot of trips to the zoo. A lot. After another long day at the zoo and the bookstore, we made it back home. Esme’s energy was boundless and I had to tag Derek in for a few minutes while I sorted through all our treasures from the day.
“May I please have some more tea?” Derek asked, squashed down on one of the tiny chairs at Esme’s table. He had the patience of a saint.
“I like the ensemble, Derek. It suits you,” I said, walking in with an armload of books. He shot me a glare. The kids apron with strawberries tight around his neck and a boa around his shoulder. We may have gone overboard at the store. But with Derek there to carry everything, we hadn’t thought twice about piling our purchases high.
Bedtime was one of my favorite times with Esme. We’d gotten a bunch of books. Books my mom used to read to me every night when I was with her. She’d sit on the edge of my bed and read to me until I fell asleep. Being able to do that for Esme, made those memories easier.
The elevator dinged. Rhys was home. My stomach did the little flip it did whenever he was in the vicinity. I hadn’t been here that long, but I didn’t think I’d ever get used to it. I tucked the books away on the shelves.
“May I have some more tea?” Derek asked again, as he held out his tiny teacup. I couldn’t hold back my laughter. Rhys’s chuckle came from the doorway.
“Don’t make fun.” Esme frowned at both of us, got up from her chair and rounded the table to stand in front of Derek. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him in tight. The startled look on his face told me this hadn’t happened before.
“I think you look really nice, Derek. Thank you for playing with me,” she said, loud enough for me to hear. Loud enough for Rhys to hear. Derek froze and I heard Rhys suck in his breath. Derek sat there like he’d just been pulled out of a frozen lake. His body was rigid, until he wrapped his massive arms around Esme and hugged her back.
“Thank you, Esme.” He gave her a squeezed as a watery sheen covered his eyes. He blinked hard before dropping his arms from around her back. She spoke in front of him. He’d been like our shadow since I got there. I figured Rhys wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up with me, but Derek had been a real friend since the first day.
“You’re welcome, Derek,” she said, beaming before sitting back down in her chair. They finished their tea party with Esme talking and Derek’s voice tight, as though he spoke past a boulder lodged in his throat. Rhys stood there watching them while I tried to make myself busy getting things organized.
“Melanie, could I have a word?” Rhys asked, motioning for me from the doorway. I glanced over at Esme and Derek. She had added a pink boa to the other three that were already stretched across his broad shoulders. I wiped my clammy hands on my legs.
“Sure.” I followed him out into the hall, nervous energy bouncing off me.
“Thank you,” he said, like a breath he’d been holding for a long time.
“I didn’t do anything.” I hadn’t really. I played with her. Walked her to school sometimes. Helped her with her homework, which she was completely able to do on her own.
“Whatever it is, keep doing it,” he said, his eyes focused on Esme and Derek in her room. �
�How are you adjusting?”
“It’s going well. We’re still finding our routine.” The babbling poured out of my mouth and I couldn’t even stop it. The tingling in my fingertips made me want to reach out and smooth his furrowed brow. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t know if it was my place to ask. I hesitated.
“Is everything, okay?”
My eyes met his and I nearly staggered back under the weight of what I saw there. I reached out a hesitant hand and put it on his shoulder. What the hell happened to make him so upset?
Rhys
She spoke to Derek. Her high and light little voice rang out in the room as she wrapped her arms around Derek’s neck. He got choked up. The impact of her words hit me right in my gut. He felt it, too.
Melanie had been here less than a month, and the Esme’s transformation was nothing short of a miracle. I couldn’t thank her enough. I also couldn’t let my desires when it came to her push aside how good she was for my daughter. My needs warred in my head.
Standing so close to her out in the hallway hadn’t been a good idea. I should have never called her out there. She was so close and I wanted nothing more than to push her up against the nearest wall and show her how grateful I was for everything she’d done. I couldn’t wait to tell her secrets I’d never told anyone, because maybe she could help fix me like she’d fixed Esme.
A wave of sadness rolled over me that Esme needed fixing in the first place. I wanted to pull Mel tight as the warmth of her hand sunk into my shoulder. Against my better judgment, I reached up and put my hand over hers. I ran my thumb across the back of her hand. I closed my eyes. I needed to stop this. I dropped my hand.
“Sorry. Yes, I’m fine.” I cleared my throat.
“Are you joining us for dinner? We’re making pizzas,” she said, her eyes hopeful.
“I don’t think so, but I’ll try. I need to talk to Derek.”
“Hey, Es. I know you’re having fun with your party, but can I steal Derek away?”
“Okay. Mel, can you come play? Derek, will you come back?”
“We’re making pizzas, remember?” Mel asked, walking into the room. “And we’ll see Derek tomorrow. He’s going to walk you to school, remember?”
“Yay, pizza!” Esme jumped up and raced to the kitchen. Everything beyond pizza forgotten.
I closed my office door after Derek, who brushed the multicolored feathers off of his shoulders.
“She spoke to me.” The awe in his voice brought tears to my eyes. She had. She’d spoken to him. Mel did that!
“I told you she liked you, Derek. There’s nothing to worry about.” I slapped him on the shoulder.
“You need to be careful, Rhys.” Derek’s voice held more concern than it usually did. “Mel…”
“I know.” I squeezed the bridge of my nose. The intense pressure in my head battled against the lightness in my chest. “I don’t know what to do about her.”
“I’d start with not running her off like you usually do.” Derek sat in the chair in front of my desk.
“I have no plans to do that with her. I’m not stupid.”
“Then, I’d say you need to be careful. Really careful.”
“I know.” I leaned back in my chair. The cool leather warmed under my touch. I’m sure Mel would warm under my touch too.
“Stop it,” he warned, shooting me a look. “I can tell exactly what you’re thinking.”
“I’m stopping. Melanie Bright is a woman just like any other, and I will not go near her in any manner other than a professional one.” I pledged with my hand held up. Derek quirked his eyebrow up at me.
“I will. I can control myself.” He didn’t seem convinced. It was a double-edged sword. The more she did for Esme, the more I wanted to be near her. The more I wanted her in my arms. But it was more of a reason for me to stay away, to keep my distance. Today was just another one of Mel’s miracles. I couldn’t hold back my chuckle, remembering Esme sitting there with Derek folded into that tiny table.
“You looked good in there with that tiara.”
“If that’s what it takes, I’ll do that and more for her, man.” And he was dead serious, even through the smile on his face.
“I know the feeling.” I’d do whatever it took, including staying away from Mel. My hands itched to touch her skin. To touch and taste her, but I’d have to resist. I couldn’t risk things going wrong and Esme losing her. And I’d put Esme first. I always did. Stay away. It’s that easy, isn’t it?
14
MEL
“Let’s go to the park, kiddo. You’ve been cooped up in here all day,” I said, dropping my magazine on my lap and nudging Esme with my foot. We’d been lying on her bed reading, for nearly the entire day. Well, she read. I dodged calls from Colleen. Her threats to come out to the city made me antsy. I needed to get out of here and away from my phone.
She’d drained my account, which meant she had money. I figured she wouldn’t be able to find me, but I knew Jeanine and everyone else at the diner had seen my interacting with Rhys and Esme. Rhys hadn’t exactly been subtle in quitting my job for me, and Martin was a blabbermouth. Everyone there knew where I was now. All she’d have to do is ask and they’d lead her right to me. It made me nauseous. I didn’t want to see her. Ever. I’d moved to keep her states away from me. I didn’t need her showing up and complicating my life even more.
“I don’t want to go out. I want to stay here and read,” Esme whined. “It’s too cold outside and it’s all snowy.” We’d sat up watching the snow fall last night, sharing a bowl of popcorn between us. It was less than a month after Halloween, so I wasn’t going to let it go to waste. How often did I get to play in the snow? Usually I dreaded it because it meant trudging to work in the slush and muck. Growing up, snow meant having to walk to school with my feet wrapped in plastic bags because of the holes in my shoes. But one of my favorite memories was of lying in the snow making snow angels and having a snowball fight with my mom. My real mom.
“Exactly. Let’s go,” I said, trying to get her up. She hadn’t wanted to go trick-or-treating and I got the idea Rhys didn’t like to push her too much. She ruled the roost, but she needed to get out. Get some fresh air, and be around other people, not just her dad, Derek and me.
“I don’t want to,” she said, going back to her book.
“That’s okay. I definitely would have beat you in a snowball fight anyway. It wouldn’t have even been a challenge. You’re right to stay inside. I know you don’t like to lose.” I went back to my magazine, Esme quickly sat up and dropped her book.
“I would not lose,” she said, her little cheeks turning a cute shade of pink.
“It’s fine, Esme. It’s okay. It’s better this way,” I said, watching her fall into my trap.
“Let’s go. I’ll show you. I’ll kick your butt, Mel,” she said in her sassiest voice, standing up and planting her hands on her hips.
“I mean, I guess if you insist, we can go. But no whining when you lose.” She stomped out of the room, missing the laugh I’d been stifling since she’d put her book down. Who knew that stuff worked on kids? Maybe I could handle this nanny business.
The trip down to the park was a lot more trouble than I expected. Calls had to be put in to Rhys and Derek. Getting Esme into her snowsuit might as well have been a journey into a sewage factory for how much she moaned about it, but we finally ventured out into the freezing, crisp fall air. The snowfall happened throughout the morning, so it was still pristine, not the brown mush it would turn into in a day or so.
We made it to the park with Derek trailing us. There were other kids in the park playing in the snow. A few snowmen were already there.
“Can we make a snowman?” Esme asked, tugging on my coat. I flexed my fingers in my thin, shitty gloves. They probably weren’t the best for snowball fighting, but I was committed now. I dragged my hat down lower on my head to cover my ears and blew into my hands, attempting to warm them for a second.
“Trying to get out of our fight?” I asked, quirking my eyebrow at Esme. She was dressed like she was ready for an expedition to Antarctica. I was seriously jealous of the layers she had on. My clothes would have to do. I hadn’t gotten paid yet, so I hadn’t been able to go and pick up any winter-appropriate clothes as of yet. The new coat was a thoughtful gift, but it didn’t come with new gloves or a hat, and I was too embarrassed to ask for an advance. I could tough it out.
The wet snow was already seeping into my shoes, chilling me as I wrapped my coat tighter around myself. I didn’t think Esme would last too long, so I figured it wouldn’t be too bad thawing out.
“Never,” she challenged. It was good to see her with her game face on. I had to admit, Rhys had been right. Esme came out of her shell a little more every day I was there. It hadn’t been long yet, but she was already talking more, sticking up for herself, and trying on her bossy pants. I loved that I’d been able to help. I still didn’t know what I’d done, but I’d keep doing it until she didn’t need me anymore.
Her father was a whole other story. I still didn’t know what was going on with him. He was at the apartment most days. He loved spending time with Esme, whether they spent their evenings reading together or watching a movie. He always made time for her. They’d walk to school together, sometimes with me and sometimes on their own.
Every time Rhys looked at me, I fell down a rabbit hole of confusion and desire. One minute he looked at me like he wanted to eat me whole, and the next, it was like he hated me for it. I didn’t understand, but thoughts of him clouded my brain. It was like he’d woven a spell over me. I tried to push him out of my mind whenever I could, but the entire apartment smelled like him. Minty, clean, fresh, those were all smells I associated with Rhys.